July 20th, 2010

USMNT: The Kickette Mandatory Triple Challenge

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We’ve played the MTC before, Kickettes. And we’re never nice about making you choose.

So, this time, start by taking a look at the above video, featuring Carlos Bocanegra, Benny Feilhaber and Stuart Holden at the ESPYs pre-party. They’re talking about World Cup stuff, but really, it’s not the point of the exercise. Just watch so you can get a flavour for the different types of treats on offer.

Now you must choose. But you only get to have two of the three. Which ones you be wrapping up and taking home from the shop today, dear readers? No refunds, no returns, and you can’t put the remainder on layaway either.

[Via The Original Winger]

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115 Responses to “USMNT: The Kickette Mandatory Triple Challenge”

  1. Laura says:

    I know I'm about a year late on this one…but I have to go with Stu and Los! They are all gorgeous though!! (:

  2. Harley says:

    All three of them are great, but my first and only choice is Stuart. All day, every day.

    Can I trust that you ladies will take good care of Carlos and Benny for me?

  3. Laura says:

    I think Stuey's really the most my type, like in reality. But for fantasy's sake? Los first and Stu second (when I'm worn out and ready to kick back and watch DVDs).

  4. Lauren says:

    I’m hooked on the Bocamuffin. And I’ll take Benny as well. Stu is too young for me.

  5. Catie says:

    Carlos, Benny hands down. Stu on the other hand, I kinda wanna pinch his cheeks or pat him on the head :)

  6. Dylulu says:

    Hard choice….

    Gotta pick Captain America! And…Feilhaber. Sorry Stu! We're from the same place and I've met him a couple times, but it's done nothing for me…plus, I'm not into young blondes! Maybe I'll reconsider when he has the ability to grow a beard!

  7. Kata says:

    It has to be Carlos and Benny…those blue eyes KILL me and I can’t help but love the way Carlos wears his captain’s armband…that and nothing else should be his uniform

  8. Rachel S says:

    Boca all the way! But second choice, Benny.

  9. ^^K^^ says:

    This was actually much tougher than I thought :O I’ma have to say Carlos since I spent most US WC games drooling over him, and Stu since I like em blonde ;)

  10. Rusty, or Anna Maria says:

    Benny, definitely. Out of the other two, probably Carlos.

  11. SoccerDuckie says:

    BENNY BENNY BENNY! There, I made three choices. :D Benny Hawthaber all the way to Denmark baby!!!

    *mumbles under breath at his lucky gf with him in Denmark…*

  12. tiff says:

    How about we just clone Bocanegra? Dos ‘Los FTW!!!!

    • joanne says:

      YES!!! the person who starts cloning soccer players is a GOD!! can you imagine a bunch cannas and ikers and becks just running around without wags!!!???!! o the sweet days ahead of us.

  13. Deedz says:

    Benny and Carlos please. That No Air video with Benny…Oh God…I was done.

  14. Kalehua says:

    Hands down (and all over!) Carlos!!! Oh, I have to pick two?? Okay, we will throw in Benny as well. El Capitan gets my top vote every single time ;) His presence on the field and off gets him major points in my book….

  15. Nahenahe says:

    Benny, Benny and Benny!!! Oh ok if I have to choose two…I will take Benny and Carlos…YUM!

  16. Lille says:

    Captain Bocanegra will always get my vote. I want some shirtless pics, Kickette.

  17. Emari says:

    Boca! obviously…. aaannddd Stu yeah.

  18. Xannie says:

    Boca and Stu Holden. Easy.

  19. EternalDreamer says:

    I have read all the comments and pondered some time over this. I’m going to go with Benny and Stu. Benny cause I think he’s hot and Stu (accidentally wrote Stud!) because he seems adorkable and I have a thing for adorkable men.

  20. Thamiris says:

    Are you kidding?? I would be MOOOOORE than happy only with Bocanegra…. The other two could me desert!

  21. rue12 says:

    Marry-Benny
    F*ck-Carlos
    Kill-Stu (sorry)

  22. Yasmin says:

    Carlos (loved seeing his speech after the award) and Stuart (even though he's a joker ;D)

  23. Mona says:

    Bocamuffin & Benny

  24. TristaJade says:

    Ugh, don't make me chose!! I love all three of them!!! :(

    If you are going to make me only pick two however, I just have to go with Benny and Carlos. They are just very, very lovely and I wouldn't mind calling them all mine. ;)

  25. Cindy says:

    all three!!! Benny and Stu are both my age so i might be inclined to choose them, but good Lord Captain America is so freaking hot and his voice is so sexy!!!!

  26. ViscaBarca says:

    Easy Carlos and Benny!

  27. shay:] says:

    benny and bocaa <3333

  28. Ess-Jay says:

    Carlos, definitely! He's delicious!

    Then, second.. Hmmmm… I think I'd go Stuart… He's so cute.. And that waistcoat is adorable… :)

    But all three just look so cute!!!! Awwwh! :)

  29. elizabeth says:

    First choice Bocanegra no debate there. Second choice is a little harder, physically Benny's hotter but I love Stu's personality. I'm going with Stu since I already have super hotness cover with Carlos.

    • Felicity says:

      Agreed. Stu is adorbs. Boca is pure unadulterated hotness and Benny well I don't know much about him yet…

  30. Yasmeen says:

    i like stuart, he seems like a trouble maker and a fun guy :) but carlos is too smexy to ignore ;)

  31. Zadrii says:

    Bennnnny!! *-*
    And Carlos

  32. Johnna says:

    LOL it cracks me up to see Stuart getting so much love. I can't find him all that hot because I remember him when he was still a youngster, buying him shots for his 21st birthday, getting kicked out of a bar with him after we won MLS Cup. He's an awesome guy, but I just can't find him hot. He's adorable, but not hot.

    Boca is hot. Benny can be hot depending on the day. I'll still take Gooch with no neckbeard over all of them anyday.

    • Steph says:

      Really? LOL. Were you guys a little too rowdy? :P Oh, but that’s why I picked him! I just find him really adorable. :) And I have a bit of a soft spot for blondes, though I love brunettes, too. Since I am one. haha.

  33. joanne says:

    Carlos and Benny all the way!!! I like my men dark haired and deep voiced :)
    Carlos’ voice is the sexiest thing I’ve ever herd. It doesn’t even have an accent and I’m already hypnotized by it’s raspy quality and deep resonance

  34. Violets says:

    Benny and Stu. Carlos just doesn't do it for me.

  35. Lorihanna,MoralesTorres says:

    wow, STUART gets me on BONERR!
    but carlos DEFO! :D

  36. Lex says:

    Oh that's easy. Carlos and Stu. Not that I don't think Benny is delicious, but I've been in lust with Carlos since he played for the Fire oh so long ago (I'm REALLY hoping he decides to come back to Chicago to finish out his career), and Stu is adorable. I love his sense of humor and mischieviousness. :)

  37. Trish says:

    Captain America always looking HOT.

  38. Shazza says:

    Benny and anyone else you want to throw in. Carlos, Stu… nobody.
    I don’t care just give me BENNY!!!

  39. Benny and Carlos. Stu, though very entertaining through the medium of the intarwebz, strikes me as annoying IRL (vuvuzelas at 3am? SERIOUSLY?)

  40. Stephanie says:

    I have a friend that works at a country club in So Cal where one of the members claims to have dated Mr Bocanegra. Word on the street is that, shall we say he wasn't the "biggest" guy on the pitch. This was also reconfirmed when another ex of Carlos was on Howard Stern and said the same thing. I don't know about you ladies but I will go with Benny and Stu.

    • Pam says:

      I will definitely go with Carlos. And the rest is BS.

    • Gina says:

      Can we get the name of this ex??????????? When was it on H. Stern? Would LOVE to hear that story! Seriously….enquiring minds wanna know!

  41. Samsun Nahar says:

    I love Stuart and he's completely adorable but it has to be Benny and Carlos because they are just super sexy! Did you guys know Benny, Carlos, and Jonathon Bornstein all graduated from UCLA. I should have applied to go to school there maybe I would've actually found a soccer player to marry…lol

  42. WagInTraining says:

    obvious choice for me-stuart and carlos. I'd love stuart as the kind of 'fun, bubbly, mischievous you-can-never-stay-mad-at-him-no-matter-how-many-times-he-blows-his-vuvuzela kind of boyfriend. I'd love carlos as the 'loving, gentle, romantic, let-me-take-you-for-a-week-in-france kind of boyfriend.

  43. zatti says:

    benny and stu for me, i just dont get a good vibe from carlos….

    • Mona says:

      Aren't vibes the funniest thing? Everyone is gaga over LanDon right now but I've NEVER had a good feeling about him or Bocanegra. There's just something weird about them to me.

      I change my earlier vote to Benny & Stu.

  44. gin_in_teacups says:

    Definitely Benny and Carlos. Not that I don’t adore Stu also. But this is a bit too easy – sad as it is to leave one behind, whichever two you’re getting will quickly make you forget your sadness about not being able to have all of them.

  45. CatatonicCutie says:

    Benny and Stuart. Or just Benny. I don’t get the Carlos thing at all.

  46. Innocenza says:

    Carlos and Benny. I have this thing about my men looking like men.

  47. Anonymous says:

    Any configuration of the three is fine by me. Although with Stu, you get two in one — he can do his American accent, and then switch to the Scottish. Hmmm.

  48. Amanda says:

    Oh god, don’t make me choose!!! I can’t have all three? All three of these men blow my vuvuzela.

  49. Sally says:

    Carlos and Benny. Not that I’ve got anything against Stuart (definitely not!) but I could only pick two!

  50. VP says:

    Wow, that girl is really annoying. Stu and Los all the way.

  51. izzy says:

    Benny and Carlos definitely! Don't get the Stuart Holden attraction at. all.

  52. soinlove says:

    A part of me isn’t so pleased with all this Hollywood press that the USMNT is doing. Sort of like… I dunno, hard to put to words, but like, all this press stuff detracts from the sport itself and makes it seem so… but hah what am i saying, europe is probably doing the same thing to their football players. :P

    • Lisa says:

      I see where youre coming from. On one hand I like it because it pisses off the soccer-haters to no end. On the other hand, the USMNT haven't really won anything to warrant such media attention.

      In Europe its ok if the players appear on tv shows, because those shows are all weird and kooky. The players are doing those shows a favour by appearing on them.

      Why else would Cesc Fabregas appear on some random tv show, wearing Hello Kitty slippers and kiss a man? one week after winning the World Cup. Theyre all nuts I tell you.

      • Dee says:

        I could say something truly Hallmark such as they won hearts etc, but I think extra press can be good news. Maybe ESPN paved the way by giving the team a real chance and the rest of the media is responding.

    • EternalDreamer says:

      Yeah, I'm kind of in-between on this. I worry that their "fame" may bring about unrealistic expectations. But, I really hope that this inspires more people to support soccer in the US and to participate as both a fan and a player. Maybe the attention will encourage the next generation of players!

  53. Villa MaraVilla! says:

    Carlos and Benny.But I do like Stuart’s sense of humor.

  54. caitanya says:

    OMG Benny–the Brasilian-Austrian mix? I just had a female *Schwing*!

    Second choice? Benny :-D

  55. Goosie says:

    When I first started reading the article, I thought you guys were going to make us pick only one and thus I got worried. But since we get two, it’s easy as pie!

    Carlos and Benny of course! They are incredibly attractive. Although for some reason it seems to me that Carlos has too many teeth? I dunno. I still think he’s beautiful and I’d bone him from now until eternity. But Benny’s Jewish-Brazillian combination is hard to fight…

    Now if I had to choose between the two of them….we might have issues.

  56. c-kyiv says:

    Carlos is so hot and so is benny but stuart is so darn cute which evens out with carlos and benny’s hotness

  57. Sahar says:

    I just don’t get their appeal. I know I’m in the minority.

  58. Steph says:

    Only two? :( I like Benny, but I gotta go with Carlos and Stuart. Carlos is just gorgeous and Stuart is just too cute! Especially in that interview. Adorable. :) Especially the part about the vuvuzelas. haha.

  59. Louise says:

    No question, Carlos and Benny.

  60. Jovana says:

    Carlos and Stuart :D they are major hotties :D and I love how Stuart has a baby face :D

  61. Blair says:

    Carlos and Benny. That’s easy. Holden looks too much like and talks too much like a 10-year-old boy.

  62. Dee says:

    Carlos and Benny. Hands down.

    Like I explained to many of my good friends…want to hit that more than I want to hit the lottery.

  63. Gonie says:

    As much as I love Carlos, I think I'm going to have to go with Benny and Stu. But gosh, I feel bad for leaving Carlos behind too. :(

  64. Melaniee says:

    oh boca and stuart.

    i think i could have more fun with stuart and he seems very laid back
    :)

  65. joey cole's gir says:

    before watching this i decided benny and carlos….. but idk any more… stuart is funny. nah im still going to go with sexy haha

  66. Elisabeth says:

    Carlos and Benny of courseee

  67. rslkdl says:

    Carlos and Benny all the way.

  68. Johanna says:

    Wrap one Carlos Bocanegra for me!

  69. Zinny says:

    CARLOS AND BENNY! My eyes have melted at the sight of them standind next to each other. Stu's cute, sure. But C/B are beyond gorgeous.

    I laughed at Benny's vuvuzela impression.

  70. Mrs.DiegoForlan says:

    i'll have carlos "mocha" boca and stu, please!! carlos is too hot, and stu is just extremely adorable. they'd balance each other out nicely, methinks… oo la la! :)

  71. Missy says:

    This one is easy! Carlos & Benny!!!

  72. Meagan says:

    Carlos and Stuart… Boca is super sexy and Stu is cute and funny. A nice combo.

  73. Sara says:

    Carlos and Benny…hands down.

    Who the heck is that reporter anyways? Seriously sounded like a stuffed up frog. Can't they find anyone better to interview these guys?

    My only question is….do I actualy win them? Or was this a hypothetical question? ;)

  74. sarrible says:

    Carlos and Benny, at the same time, covered in Nutella with a whiskey back. Obviously.

  75. RedAne says:

    Ok. It seems like everybody is having a hard time figuring out which two to take home. For me it's as simple as that: i'll choose only one and stick to him like superbonder: CARLOS BOCANEGRA!!!! All the way, always and forever. You girls can fight over the others.

    Dear Lord, this guy gives me chills down my spine!!!! (Not to mention some other places coz that would ban me from the site for good! lol)

    • Felicity says:

      I went to France a ways back, several cities, had a miserable time everywhere we went, MISERABLE (and I speak French!). Decided never to go back ’cause there are too many other places in the world to see. But along comes Boca and well I would seriously go back there to see him play. He brought the sexy back to France for me

  76. Lisa says:

    Stu and Benny… seeing Carlos with a (unattractive) woman who is not into football and sharing a beer with Bill Clinton makes him damaged goods in my opinion.

  77. Victoria says:

    No question! Carlos Bocanegra & Benny Feilhaber. Stu is adorable but a bit too young. In 5 years my choice may change. Right now, I want to give him a hug and a juioe box when he gets off the pitch.

  78. Maria says:

    Carlos and Benny for me!!! I watched the awards and Los looked unbelievably hot!!! Stu is well cute, but a bit young-looking for me :P

  79. NicKelly says:

    This is so hard, because I adore Stu and think he's the cutesy think ever. However, Benny and Carlos are sexy beyond reason. So I would have to choose them — if I absolutely had to choose.

  80. MUfcYanksGirl says:

    Stuart and Benny! Boca is clearly a beautiful man, but Stu is my main squeeze, and he and Benny are hilarious. I love anyone who will run around waking their friends up with a vuvuzela, and that "No Air" YouTube video that Benny recorded was a cinematic masterpiece. Love!

    • Leya says:

      I'm 100% with you on this one.

      Love Los, but Benny is extra hot, the Youtube vid is priceless, and Stu is cute and a half and needs some love! I love my boys a little silly!

  81. Kylie says:

    Stuart! His hilariousness is the sexiest thing ever.

    Oh wait, I get to choose 2…Carlos because well just look at him. No disrespect to Benny, but I just don't get the attraction but he does seem like a cool guy with this lip synching vid on youtube and everything LOL!

  82. Michelle says:

    Carlos & Benny! Stuart is cute but he looks like a baby and a little bit too "nice" for my taste.

  83. Amanda says:

    I have to say Carlos and Benny because they´re too hot. But Stu is just soooooo cute and funny, I want them 3!

  84. Liz says:

    Carlos & Benny!!! No need to think about it, they are just so HOT :)

    off topic, but that girl really annoyed me.

  85. Alisha says:

    I'd be happy enough with only Stuart, his voice is to die for ;)

  86. senora ramos says:

    i agree with many of you ladies. carlos and benny. so sexy, looks and voices. i feel too pervy with stuhawk! though i love him too!!

  87. GinaRuiz says:

    So easy……..Carlos and Benny. Oh the things that I would do to those two!

  88. Anastasia says:

    Carlos and Benny, of course.

  89. tammyv says:

    That is like asking me to choose to lose and arm or a leg.. I think that I would rather lose one of those than choose, 2 of these 3.