April 10th, 2012
WAG Watch: Everyone vs Jenny Vampire
WAGs who aren’t attached to this story attend the Cricket Christmas party, Liverpool, UK. 08/12/2010. Image: BIGPICTURESPHOTO.COM.
Manchester United, Man City, Liverpool and Everton WAGs have beef with Jennifer Thompson – of Mario Balotelli and Wayne Rooney tell-all fame and nouveau riche glory. They think she is classless, trashy and generally disapprove of her existence. “Ban her (from parties and footy/celeb haunts)!” is their battle cry, and they’ve supposedly set up a text message and Twitter tracking system for the hooker’s whereabouts to drive their point home.
Good stuff, this story.
A close friend of one of the WAGs released a rampage of high quality fightin’ words to the Daily Star…
“All the partners of players at clubs in the north west have teamed up to tip off each other if they see or hear she’s in a club where their men might be going to. Once the alert has gone out, the WAGs will make sure their man doesn’t go to the club or bar where Jenny is, or they get someone to keep a close eye on their man and make sure he doesn’t get caught up in her arms.”
“Sadly, with some of the younger stars, there may be a temptation to try forbidden fruit to see how they compare with the likes of Balotelli and Rooney. She seems to rely on that but the WAGs have grown wise to it.”
Sounds like an intricate version of a leash and collar. Like the kind dogs and other pets that aren’t grown ass men living large on Easy Peasy Cheating Street wear.
Ladies, look. Well done on the plan hatching and all that, but you missed the stop-it-before-it-starts boat by two players and £70,000. Don’t try to scare your ‘ballers straight by calling her JennyVampire; vigorously encourage them to keep their members in their pants instead. It’s the right thing to do.
And by right thing, we also mean retaliate publicly with some sort of entertaining weapon like a can of spray foundation.
Lower on the footy totem pole but hey, what the hell, we’re already here – the Daily Star insists the vice girl has also romped with George Best’s son Calum, 31, but faltered in seducing 49-year-old Wayne Lineker, brother of Match Of The Day’s Gary.
“At Lineker’s Bar (in Tenerife) she met Calum Best who really fell for her but at first she was more interested in Wayne Lineker. She was wearing a very short and tight dress with her boobs popping out….she was really flirting with Wayne and doing her utmost to grab his attention.
But he was at the party with his girlfriend Ana who is really stunning and has an incredible figure so he wasn’t interested in Jenny.
That didn’t stop Jenny trying. She went into overdrive, thrusting her boobs into his face and she kept patting his bum.”
All the class, all the time, Kickettes.