April 28th, 2008

WAG Watch: Coleen’s Taxing Schedule

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Question: is there anything better than stumbling out of your holiday hotel room at noon for breakfast, barely making it to the pool before collapsing on the lilo and then begging a random servant to throw you a plate of fruit to line your stomach before you begin your daily work of caning through the alcoholic beverages with silly names and toasting yourself a warm shade of caramel premature skin damage?

We think not.

Still, maybe attending one or two of the recent big games might be a good idea, no? Why are these WAG vacay’s so oft scheduled at crucial match times?

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Side note: regarding the tabloid speculation that Coleen is being crushed on left right and centre by a variety of blokes in Miami, don’t get too concerned for Wayne. Coleen is well aware that the paparazzi/pic hunters are there, trust us.

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31 Responses to “WAG Watch: Coleen’s Taxing Schedule”

  1. . says:

    With the money Wayne earns you would imagine she could afford some sunscreen and a personal trainer. A woman her age with a belly and legs like that?

  2. urbansunflower says:

    Man, beeing a WAG must mean you have the best job ever…. Tanning, shopping and drinking and thats not counting the games and stunning men you get to hang around every day!

  3. Genevieve says:

    Coleen – go home to Manchester right now and take care of your fiance!! How can you make him a good wife if you’re not even around when he’s trying to qualify for the Champions League final??

  4. Becca x says:

    Oh I Love Coleen.

    She Looks Gorge!!

    At Least She Is Normal And Actually Eats.

  5. Lil' says:

    cheryl bites
    thank you for this precisions, when i say that i am sure i am improving my english whe staying on kickette.com, i mean it
    i guess i have to get rid of my dictionary, i was sure that naevus sounded far too medical

    and for the one that people used to put on their faces we call them “mouche” = fly, the insect,

  6. Johnna says:

    LOL Cheryl, I think that’s Wazza’s cousin Claire.

  7. Jacey says:

    Awwwww. How can I not like a girl whose hangover keeps her from getting out of the pool. She tries to cure it with fruit, and when that doesn’t work, she just gives up and sucks down a frozen drink. She’s even spritzing her split ends. Love her!

  8. cheryl bites says:

    Lil: yes, we do use “beauty spot” or “beauty mark” in English, but that’s usually when it’s a small black mark on your face. (You know – people wore ake ones in the 18th century.)

    If it’s a big brown one it’s more likely to be called a mole or a birthmark, but they’re not rude words. Naevus is more medical.

    Postmodernism: Dx!!!!!

    Oh, and who is that blonde bird fondling Coleen’s belly? Is it her personal love slave? Guess that’s why she wasn’t interested in the dancing-too-close men, then.

  9. Lil' says:

    for that matters
    is nevus the good word. if found it on the dictionary?
    in French we call it grain de beaut

  10. Aoife says:

    How long has she been in Miami, girls? It seems like well over a week now.

    I do hope she’s using SPF. And that her lovely bark-y colour is the result of some over-enthusiastic Fake Baking.

  11. Silly girl.  Get yourself back to Manchester and take care of your man.

  12. LoveLamps says:

    She looks fantastic!  But I have to agree about the sunscreen.  I just had a mole removed recently (thank heavens it was nothing) and it was a bit scary to wonder.  I live in the desert, so I live in sunscreen.  Otherwise, bravo darling and thanks for eating!

  13. Fourth and Johnna, you LUCKY DUCKS! I’m so envious I could burst!!!

  14. Johnna says:

    FOURTH I’M GOING AS WELL!!!!!!!!!!! I said I didn’t care if I had to sell some kidneys or some eggs, I’m getting a ticket to that game. I will see my Ole play live once before I die.

  15. Girls!  So excited!  I booked my plane ticket to Manchester for Ole’s testimonial on August 2nd. . . oh my gawd . . . can’t wait.  Can’t wait!!!!!!!!!

  16. Erin says:

    Do NONE of these girls realize they’re going to look like leather handbags by the time they’re 35??

  17. Rusty says:

    yeah, she should really take good care of that mole (or nevus, as Lil’ correctly calls it.)

    sends Coleen her SPF 30 through the computer Totally agree, Brandy.

    And still don’t want to be in Miami even though my socks soaked through today.

  18. carly says:

    kaya – ha ha! a moustache!

    I love that first picture.  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/snake.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="snake" style="border:0;" /> Beware, it’s Coleen, she’s hungry!

    I think the criticism is a bit unfair. From what I’ve been able to observe, she’s been in every game at Old Trafford for the whole season. Ok, she should be there now too, but she’s not one that I’d accuse of not caring for her man’s career. (well, if she’s smart she cares because that’s what brings her everything she’s got. duh!)

  19. brandy says:

    Honey, take my advice: SPF. Make it your friend. I’m a decade older than you and do not have nearly as many crow’s feet and stomach creases as you… Money can’t buy you healthy non-sun damaged skin!

    And at least show up for the important games?!

  20. I like Coleen and have no arguments with her other than NOT being in Manchester for Wayne’s matches! Tsk tsk.

    She’s savvy though – I’m sure she knows that various tabloids have paid for ‘male attention’ so they get the snaps that they want.

  21. FootballerChick43 says:

    Wow. She’s eating. Very un-waglike.

  22. Filthygorgeous says:

    Miami is not a city you leave in a hurry, well ok if a hurricane is headed for sure you do, but I love Miami! Oh the very fond (see: well dodgy) memories I have of Florida…ooh I’m having flashbacks…being single in Miami is just bloody brilliant! hehe. Puerto Rico is even better in terms of male eye candy.

    Sorry, where was I? Oh yes, Colleen…sorry, still fails to make a flicker on my ‘do i care’ meter.  She has all the class of a lawn flamingo! She is going to have skin the texture of a scrunched up brown paper bag at this rate.  Then again, Rooney does like his birds(see: hookers) a bit older LOL.

  23. Johnna says:

    God she looks absolutely amazing. Good on her for living it up. (Though I’d rather be in Manchester, watching the Barca game.)

  24. kaya says:

    Wait… she’s *still* in Miami? Damn, maybe the ballers prefer them that way, but if I was with one of these guys, they wouldn’t hear the end of it from me and my analysis of the games since I wouldn’t miss one. =)
    I think a lot of these guys are more “different” than us women accept. When I have a hard day at work, I want to talk about it and get input, but it’s exactly the opposite with my hubby. Soo… Maybe Wayne asked her to go to Miami… hmmm
    But still, if it were me, I’d draw on a moustache and sneak in to watch the game anyway….

  25. Lil' says:

    her body is great, but her skin looks so old
    oh and i have exactly the same nevus (?) under my left cheek,

    yeah, it is the only comment i found

  26. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/lol.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="LOL" style="border:0;" /> LucyLu!!!!!!

  27. LucyLu says:

    I wouldn’t be spending *too* much time in the sun if I had a huge mole on my arse like that!

  28. Blair says:

    Apparently html hates me today… here’s the link: http://myrelationshipwithfootball.blogspot.com/20…

  29. Blair says:

    Wayne is definately in need of some consoling after being thoroughly spanked by my Chelsea Blues!

    <a >More Coleen Fabulousness

  30. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Coleen looks amazing!! Gorgeous bikini body and good on her for having a good time and showing it off.

    I am very jealous looking out of my window and seeing a dreary day and looking down at my over sized tummy. Eughh. I wish I was living it up in Miami!!

  31. tammyv says:

    I want to be in Miami… I FLIPPIN love that town. South Beach is the great place on Earth. 

    After pulling up the fullsized photo, let me personally thank her for getting the waxing done recently