January 9th, 2008

WAG Watch: Alex, Lilly-Ella and the Python Bag

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WAG wannabes and poor people, take note.  This is what we are all aspiring to: being so giddy with wealth and designer products that you burst into fits of laughter at random moments in public.

imageAlex Curran-Gerrard hit WAG staple designer shop, Cricket, yesterday.  She parked up her £100,000 Mercedes C class AMG and rolled through to do some spending. She had a £1,500 Zagliani handbag on her arm and daughter Lilly-Ella made a fashion-heavy appearance. For those not in the know, Lilly-Ella is the best accessory one can possibly have in the presence of photographers as she is so cute she makes baby panda bears break out in angry welts of jealousy.

Alex was in high spirits and enjoyed chatting with her Cricket-assigned escort on the way back to her car. Wonder what she found so amusing? Perhaps he asked if he could borrow a fiver.

Alex didn’t mind the paparazzi photogs taking her photo (natch), and as per usual, received a parking ticket.

Side note: Alex’s handbag is made from python-skin and is injected with Botox to keep it soft and supple. You know, because it’s made from a dead reptile in need of moisturizing.

Looks like 2008 might see the crowning of a new queen – we’re thinking Alex is just one french-manicure away from taking Victoria Beckham’s title.

images courtesy of: Splash News/KEYSTONE Press

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37 Responses to “WAG Watch: Alex, Lilly-Ella and the Python Bag”

  1. Amy says:

    OK, bottox bag, parking ticket, this strange jacket and dummy show – money can’t buy class

  2. thee_gerrards says:

    i luv her CROWN HER please

  3. Megan says:

    Haha…ur all halirious..i think ur all jealous of her ! ! cause lets face it if u did have lives then you would be doing better things than writing things about a girl you don’t hardly no..just by what you hear ..

    u jealous lot

  4. LFCgal says:

    That second pic is FIERCE…I’m guessing the photographer mentioned her skank bag and animal rights in the same sentence

  5. the slinger says:

    gigi, i def get wat u mean

  6. MrsJamieRedknapp says:

    I think this is the process they are talking about.  Not quite botox, but still seriously mental.

    “Zagliani make beautiful crocodile bags, which are as soft as silk.  In this case Italian dermatologist Mauro Orietti-Carella has pioneered a technique to enable skins, such as python and crocodile, to be transformed into smooth shiny soft supple surfaces.

    The crocodile skin in the handbag left has been silicone treated and once softened it is hand crafted into a four figure bag.  The process is similar to the use of Botox injections to keep human skin plumped.“

    I don’t think Alex is worthy of the Queen WAG title just yet.  She needs to sort out those caterpillers above her eyes first.

  7. cheryl bites says:

    *Sheepish* Erm, sorry, Kaya and Fourthy. I’ll put a warning next time…

  8. E says:

    The man in the pic is the brother of Justine that owns Cricket!!

  9. Robin says:

    Fourth – even then it’s not going to affect the skin itself – Botox kills the muscles underneath. That’s how it gets rid of wrinkles (and headaches), it ‘freezes’ the muscles. Actually atrophies them. That’s not going to do a damn thing for the skin itself. It’s pure marketing for damn fools.

  10. The Fourth Official says:

    Unless <major yuck> the snake was injected while it was still living.  gulp  Alrightee then, I think I’ll get back to work and my little ongoing daydream involving Nemanja Vidic giving Cristiano a haircut.  <don’t ask, it’s complicated>

  11. Robin says:

    And by the way – Botox injected into a dead snake? WTF?!!!!!! I’m pretty sure the Botox only works on things that are ALIVE and then it’s not the skin it works on but the muscles underneath. Lordy what fools these mortals be.

  12. Robin says:

    She looks so much more attractive when she doesn’t have 20 layers of makeup on. Of course I still can’t stand her for getting Stevie G before he had a chance to meet me, but she doesn’t look repulsive here.
    Of course the last thing I’d think a woman with soccer balls for boobs would want to do is emphasize it even more by wearing a sweater with all the decoration focused on the upper chest area. It’s like a winter sweater version of all those ruffley, fluffy tops she wore during the summer. And I loathed those.
    Wow – I almost got through a post about her with saying only something nice.

  13. Ella says:

    Forgot to mention; the bloke beside her look like a mix of Rio Ferdinand and Marc Anthony. Very disturbing.

  14. Ella says:

    Gigi; You should take a look at the perfume-launch-pictures. We’re talking dragqueen-like.

    She looks great here though, and could you believe it, she’s wearing a jacket!

    Lily-Ella is utter cuteness, she should be sold in pet-stores, with tiny handbags to carry her around.

  15. SuzyQ says:

    All hail Alex, Queen of the WAGs.  She has to be queen, she’s like 800 feet tall right? She’s got the authority…!

    Labelling photos on a blog can only mean one thing: Kickette paid for them.. LOL !  looks like this blog is moving up in the world smile

    and who the F is this random dude in the photo?? Maybe he works in the stock room or is the guy assigned to escort the ‘talent’ to their cars…

  16. lose that girl says:

    If Cricket is (apparently) the height of fashion, what the hell is that guy doing working there? I figured he was just some annoying twat that wandered up to Alex on a whim. He’s not fashion forward at all! I think THAT’S why she’s having such a howl!

    I would definitely vote for Alex as Queen of the WAGS. Even though I don’t rate many of her clothing choices, she does seem quite happy to go along with the paparazzi and doesn’t appear to be a moody cow like Posh. I’m bored of Vicki and her plastic pushed up boobs and skeletor body. All hail, Ali G!

  17. Amelie says:

    oooh i see you’ve marked this pictures… is this for copywrite? does this mean you took them? have kickette actually branched out into stalking and paparazzi-ing? just wondering. i always assumed you guys were american…

  18. Gigi says:

    Does anyone else out in Kickette land think that Alex is the manliest looking WAG out in Wagland?  And, no, I am not jealous of her, in case some of you thought that may have prompted my comment.

    Cheers!

  19. The Fourth Official says:

    Alex is so hatefully delicious.  I wuv her!!!  (Lilly-Ella looks resigned at this point to being dragged through the streets like a cannister vacuum.)  But I’m VERY disappointed that, instead of Alex’s new bodyguards (whom Kickette reported are hard, hot ex-SAS fellas with big . . . um . . .  guns), we have to look at that ugly git beside her.  shut eye WTF does he do at Cricket?
    It’s getting to be a real bitch-slap contest between Alex and VB as to who should wear the crown.  I’m starting to lean towards Alex. . .

  20. Red Robin says:

    Welcome Keeper!
    Commenting on Alex and the idiocy of some people is a great way to join in. smile

  21. goalkeeperette says:

    Hi everybody, I’m new here. wink I’ve been lurking around for some time but this entry just HAS to be commented on.

    Just some random thoughts:

    1. michelle, that’s not a joke. I wish it was though.

    2. Alex looks like a madwoman in the first pic.

    3. Is Lilly-Ella still having a dummy? At the age of 4? That is so going to ruin her teeth!

    4. Robin, that’s exactly what I was thinking. Botox is a neurotoxin, meaning it paralyses the muscles by stopping the nerve impulses, the smoothened skin only being the result of the lack of motion underneath it. I have absolutely no idea how this is supposed to work on a dead animal’s skin (or how the Botox is being INJECTED into the HANDBAG…wtf??). That is so much bullshit, the designer’s really lucky there are people like Alex out there to believe it.

    It’s actually really sad to think that you could’ve built several hospitals and schools down there in Africa with the money this woman has spent on so much crap over the years.

    *apologizes for being overly dramatic and moral here* ^^

  22. paris says:

    Alex looks great in these pictures I love the long hair. Come on now Alex took victoria’s title a long time ago. Alex is the queen WAG!!!!

  23. michelle TN says:

    Um, don’t y’all get when a joke is a joke?  That botox-inject bag thing is a joke right?  But since you guys are making me double guess my original thought, pardon me if I’m wrong.

    The dude in the photo looks like rio ferdinand and marc anthony? lol, i KNEW he looked familiar!

    btw, I like Alex Curran.  I think her fashion faux pas are hilarious!—but she’s looking alright here.

  24. Robin says:

    I am never EVER buying anything python. Ever. Not that I ever would have anyways but I really REALLY am avoiding it now.
    And Alex isn’t Queen WAG. I’m not sure who is, I’m not sure we’ve met her yet. I’m waiting to see how some of them mature.
    And I’m SO over Vicki.

  25. brandy says:

    I’m warning you: I will cry actual tears of anger the day this monstrosity is crowned head-WAG. I think that along with French tips, orange skin and expensive bags and shoes, one main criterion should be the lack of a carb-face, which would obvious rend this poor-man’s version of a WAG ineligible.

    And My Dearest Gigi, I find her utterly manly as well. I would rather look like me with all my normal middle class “poorness” than look like her and have her bank account. Seriously not joking. That man-girl is a BEAST!

    Jeez…. just re-read that. How do I really feel?!?!?!

  26. Becca x says:

    About The Queen WAG Thing.. I Dont Know Who I Choose. I Think VB Is Definatley Past It. She Dont Even Live In England Anymore.
    I’ve Always Thought of Coleen As The Good Role Model And Genuinley Nice Girl And I Always Thought That She Should Be Queen Wag Because Of The Fact That She Is A Real Girl And She Isnt Affriad To Admit It.
    But Now Im Thinking of The Term WAG And When You Think of Wags You Think Orange, Over The Top And Fake.
    Its A Hard One .. i Like Them Both.

  27. LivRachel says:

    Cheryl Cole for queen of the wags!!!!!

    alex looks good here

    lilly is the cutest BAC(babies and childern) out of alll the footballers kids

  28. LivRachel says:

    Cheryl Cole for queen of the wags!!!!!

    alex looks good her

    lilly is the cutest BAC(babies and childern) out of alll the footballers kids.

  29. kaya says:

    Ummm. Since I hate snakeskin I would’ve hoped to be spared chery’s details. On the other hand, my first thought after reading this article was: “Where’s the link for that background info??“ Botox snakeskin? Seriously?
    As for calls to make Alex queen of WAGs, I can 2nd the motion if in fact by queen you mean drag queen. And whatever that shirt/jacket/creature thing is she’s wearing is terrible. It looks like the remainder of grandma’s failed knitting projects turned dustbunny or somesuch.

  30. The Fourth Official says:

    Well, *I* just lost my lunch.  sick

  31. cheryl bites says:

    Reptiles such as pythons are usually intensively dehydrated to loosen their skin, then skinned alive. Because they are cold-blooded animals, they can subsequently take three or four days to die.

  32. Sarah x says:

    Im Not Sure ho Should Be Queen Wag, But Deff not Vicki B, Were All getting Bored Or Her And She dont Even Live In England Anymore :p
    If your Looking For a Queen Wag Whos Oranger Than an Actual Orange, Wears Layers Or Make-up And Is Well .. Fake Then Alex
    But If You Lookin For A Nice, Lovely, Girl Next Door Sort Of Queen Wag, Deffo Col x

  33. lose that girl says:

    How could I have totally forgotten about Coleen for the WAG crown? Geez, I spoke too soon. I think Cori’s right…Coleen might be the best example of Victoria’s replacement waiting in the wings. Free of fake breasts—more like a normal gal but without the bank balance.

    Saying all that, I do think Alex is alright and I like her more than most.

    That wedding WILL be a sight to see. Coleen will be totally fab, while Wayne…not sure he can scrub up any better than he did in those NYE pix. I just hope that he doesn’t take any advice from Rio.

  34. lose that girl says:

    Fourth – that daydream…do tell! raspberry

  35. carly says:

    Who do these people think they are? Don’t they think that parking tickets are made not to take a bit of their money away but because their car might actually be in the way of other cars, cause disturbance and possibly keep ambulances and police cars from transiting correctly?

    I don’t care how much money you have woman, have a little public conscience, for Fs sake!

    Gigi, I agree. I think she’s manly, she has no hips and her breasts are fake.

  36. cori says:

    she doesn’t look half bad here….maybe a new year brought her some fashion sense.  i’m wondering, how long do you think it takes her to get ready before she leaves the house?  i bet at least 2 hours. 

    i agree, i’m sick of posh too…she’s boring and trying so hard for attention.  i wouldn’t give alex the WAG crown just yet though, coleen should give us some good stuff with her wedding this year.