April 25th, 2008

WAG Watch: Carly Zucker Has A lot of Balls


image courtesy of PA Wire/KEYSTONE Press

Don’t anyone defend the hair. Please; that is all we ask. 

There are no words in dear Carly’s defense, unless of course, we have woken up in 1983 in the middle of Texas and we’re heading to the premiere of Flashdance. In which case, we will humbly apologize and reach for the Aquanet.

Link: Carly Zucker is Having a Ball

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57 Responses to “WAG Watch: Carly Zucker Has A lot of Balls”

  1. Yes.  Those are a lot of balls.  No defense for the hair… agreed.

  2. Becca x says:

    I Like The Shoes.

    But Everything Else…

    Just No.

  3. Lindsay says:

    Her head is too big for her body. Period.

  4. boo says:

    hehe, good ol’ smudge

  5. lose that girl says:

    Rusty – lmao!!!

  6. Rusty says:

    Now that someone mentioned that stain as specifically a smudge, I can’t help imagining who Alan Smith was doing in the back of that limo.

  7. Sara says:

    She looks like Cindy Crawford in the 1980’s. She has a great body, but the hair is awful.

  8. Laptoper says:

    I have balls too!

  9. Laini says:

    Hair no, shoes YES!

  10. boo says:

    nice ankles and lovely shoes

    did anyone spot the smudge on the cushion she’s sitting on?! i mean wouldn’t you at least clean the limo before posting in it?! or is is mars caramel?! either way YUCK!

    the bracelet kicks ass though

  11. Carly, that was a good one, wasn’t it?  “What have you learned today, Wayne?  Stay away from girls . . . And be Champions!“


  12. Sarah x says:

    The Dress Looks Better Than The Usual Crop Tops, We Can Give Her That!

  13. SaraBee says:



    Carly and Mars Bars!

    Just doesn’t work.

  14. Victoria says:

    The hair is yuck

  15. jax says:

    My thoughts exactly LTG – the superfitness freak Carly advertising confectionery ! What next, Victoria as spokesperson for MacDonalds….

    Nice shoes, not sure where those enormous knockers came from all of a sudden. The re-touching/airbrushing budget should have been spent on the hair, Gahhh <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/bigsurprise.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="big surprise" style="border:0;" />

  16. Rusty says:

    I think there was once a shampoo called “big thick hair” and I think it went out of business because she bought out all the stock and the recipe.

  17. Sarah says:

    Hahahahahahaha!  Big fan of the big hair.

  18. Lil' says:

    do you know the game where you have to find the murderer of Dr X, Cluedo (i don’t know the name in english !!!)
    i guess she is Miss Rose

    but at least she is smiling

  19. Signora Maldini says:

    What is this, Miss America now?

    Go on Carly, tell us all about how you want world peace…

  20. DiorHeels says:

    fresh tan line, carly!

    ohoo, my little security code is services 17. right up, c. ron!!

  21. lose that girl says:

    I don’t think this girl has eaten a Mars bar in her life!

  22. RedGirl says:

    Carly Zucker has a lot of balls… Hell yeah! Otherwise she would have refuse to appear on a pic with that awful hair!

    Carly, I salute you for being so brave.

    My security word is BIG… Muahahaha!!

  23. carly says:

    TFO – your Keano called Mourinho’s puppet this week. hehe
    “it’s a disgrace, at this level…“


  24. lose that girl says:

    My husband is a baldy so being bald doesn’t change his soul or anything else for that matter.

    Actually, it does change something—the amount of time he spends in front of the mirror!  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/smile.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  25. jesse says:

    would becoming bald change his soul?

    too many balls in that car; hopefully, she won’t become too aggressive eliciting a fight or flight response in anyone…

  26. FootballerChick43 says:

    Honestly, if it wasn’t her, I’d love the picture.

    Its very creative..

    But its her..
    So I hate it.

  27. carly says:

    ltg – lol I had a Ken with actual dark hair and YES after a while, he became a little bit bald!
    This was back in the days when this hairstyle was still fashionable.

    I’m not liking her lipstick, it’s odd. And do the market-targets of Mars know who Carly is? I don’t get it.

  28. lose that girl says:

    Does Barbie Ken have a bald spot?
    (and I *am* a Joe fan but I couldn’t help myself).

  29. She looks like a Barbie doll, posed in the back seat of her Barbie limo.  On her way to the Barbie prom with Barbie Ken.  With her Barbie dress and her Barbie shoes and her Barbie hair.

    I usually like Carly, but I’m not feeling it here.

    This seems like a nicer, quieter thread than the other one.  I feel safe here.  Cozy.  Warm.  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/smile.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  30. tammyv says:

    Joanna… I am with you on that one.  Why are they like that, why are they in a limo? I got nothin!

  31. Danika says:

    Thinking at a previuos post about a footballer and him with 2 ladies and after that with the wife in the car well, lose that girl, you are so right!

  32. lose that girl says:

    But when you think about it…a stain in a limo containing a WAG…probably not all that unusual!

  33. klyn312 says:

    LTG, nothing else in this picture matters now that you pointed out that stain, I am completely skeved out.  sick

  34. Johnna says:

    Is anyone else wondering how they got all those balls in the limo like that without them falling down?

    No? Anyone? Bueller?

  35. Meriam (Mrs Daniel De Ridder) says:

    I want those shoes. And the dress. And a Mars bar. Damn you Carly, why do you have to do this to me?

    And what’s with the smile. It’s scaring me *runs away crying*

    And seriously, do footballers like girls with bad hair? I mean, I don’t mind messing mine up a bit if it’ll get me in with them (haha, I should not be talking like this, Daniel might get offended) tongue laugh

  36. cheryl bites says:

    All this (much-deserved) denigration and NOBODY HAS MENTIONED HER POOR TITS? Breasts do not deserve to be tortured in such a manner. (I am referring to both the size of that dress and the nasty fabric.) They should be freeeeeee.

  37. Danika says:

    Reminded me of the hair cuts in Dinasty soap opera….very 80’s
    Had somebody notice that the car couch has a stain on it?

  38. tammyv says:

    Sorry about the typos, that is what happens when I am laughing too hard while posting

  39. tammyv says:

    Where does one beging with this? 

    *The dirty limo,

    *The tan-lines (at least she is earning the tan honestly

    *The contorted body shot, which mkaes her loko like a freak

    *The bizarre smile with the super apple cheeks, which makes her look both plastic and frightening

    *The hair that is so high that I believe under avivation laws requires red signaler lights,

    *The extremely odd setting for that kind of product placement.

    *The shoes I will kill her for (opps… that was only supposed to be in my head <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/smile.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" /> )

    God it is a mess on so many levels!

  40. cassie says:

    yikes…..is it possible i think she looks worse made-up and smiling??!?  hmm…

  41. Johnna says:

    Heh I was born in Texas in 1982.

    *shurgs* I dunno, it felt cool for me to share that.

  42. Jacey says:

    Oh Kickette, I’m in Texas. That hair isn’t from 1983, it’s from right now. That’s just the way we roll. Sigh.

  43. Pavi says:

    The hair and the dress is just all wrong…it’s like she got lost in the 80s. 

    I will however say that I absolutely love the shoes!

  44. brandy says:

    Funny <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/smile.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" /> I thought this picture was taken way back in the day pre-Joe when she was a sponsor girl or something! That hair, oh just NO!

    Hot bod and hot dress though!

  45. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Me thinks someone let Nani loose in there. How else to you explain the dodgy stains??

  46. lose that girl says:

    They seemed to have added some extra breast in this shot so the photo editor must have gotten all carried away with the boobs, and missed the stain and the hair.

    Funny that we’re talking about hair removal in both this thread and the one featuring Alex!

  47. Lil' says:

    yes and while removing the stain from the seat they could also have remove a part of her hair, the one which is on top of her head
    how can hair stay like this??
    i want the brand of her hairspray

  48. LucyLu says:

    LOL Oh that stain is classic. Be careful putting your hand down the back of the seat Carly, you never know what you may find… sick

  49. lose that girl says:

    I know! Isn’t it horrid??? Stains in the back seat of a limo—EW, EW, EW!!!

    And Carly looks so PLEASED to be seated nearby.

    Couldn’t they have photo-shopped it out, keep the illusion that she’s in some snazzy stretch and she’s oh, so glamourous?

  50. Vlada says:

    What’s this low budget mess, there’s a stain on the seat.

  51. Erin says:

    Cute girl, but… 

    I mean, I had the same hair.  In 1989.

  52. lose that girl says:

    Oooh….look at the car seat—at the middle/bottom of the screen. Is that a STAIN?? ICK!

  53. michaela says:

    i won’t defend the hair but i will say that her outfit is cute. i like everything but the hair.

  54. Anamarija says:

    LOVE the shoes,kinda like the dress too,apart from that decoltee-part…
    No comments bout the hair…
    Ok,I just have to:It’s terrible!!!!
    I agree with LTG,she is so thin,she surely doesn’t eat those…

  55. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    Gorgeous shoes!! That’s all I’m saying on the picture!!

    And why oh why is there yummy foods everywhere I look. I’m on a god damn diet!! I can’t eat mars bars, now I really really want one downer

  56. Ice Princess says:

    Oooh, love the shoes! The hair’s too big though, I wonder if she’s been swapping hair tips with Alex…hmmm

  57. Liz says:

    she looks like christie brinkley in this picture