October 23rd, 2006
WAG watch: Cricket, Liverpool
The WAGs were out in full force for the Cricket boutique fashion show, held at the glamorous Liverpool Town Hall. Milan ain’t got nothing on the LTH, trust us.
Sheree: Why are the girls acting as if they don’t know me? Is it because I’m dressed in a gigantic deflated onion skin? Maybe it’s because I’ve got this bottle of water…
Alex: Why the F does Sheree have a bottle of water? Does it look like we’re at the goddamn gym? I hope the photogs crop her out of these photos. I’m the star here.
Coleen: Oof, I’m drunk.
Alex: I’m the best looking one in here, why does that skank Abbey get to do the catwalk? Why didn’t they ask me? Is it because my hands are a different colour than my face? No, that couldn’t be it, I’m fabulous.
Kelly: Do I look old? I look old, dunn I?
Coleen: *sigh* I miss Wayne.
Kelly: Everyone is so young and pretty. I need more eye makeup.
Alex: Do you think it’s easy to look like a sexy robotic 1950s hooker/housewife in a dress made of tinsel? Do you? Why does no one ever listen to me?
Coleen: *sigh* I love gum.
Alex: Is there any alcohol in this drink?
Sheree: It’s because I have a job. That’s why they don’t like me. And for your information, Alex, I could drink you under the table, sweetheart.
Kelly: Everyone else is with a footballer. My man is Steven G’s part-time bodyguard. How wank is that? I really blew it. I know Alex is my best friend and all, but sometimes I fantasize about putting Nair in her shampoo bottle.