May 10th, 2007
WAGs and Becks: Lazy Links
Melanie Slade is in Closer magazine this week looking nicely Stepford Wives with Twiglets for Arms Robotomatic Dolly.
If you want to download and read the Deadline magazine section of Closer, click here.
Deadline is part of a reality tv series that we really wish we cared about but the weather is nice, work is kicking our asses and c’mon, we have a thigh competition to judge.
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Coleen is launching a “luxurious but affordable” brand, called “Coleen”. This summer we’ll be treated to her first perfume, possibly titled: “I’m Rich, Bitches!“ or “How To Create A Whole ‘Lotta Sumpthin’ Out of Nothin’”.
In other Col news, her first television show (she’s contracted with ITV to do reality-based programming around her life until 2009) is going to be gracing UK screens soon – it’s all about Coleen grooming a group of aspiring models with grooming tips while she zzzzzzzz…. Link: Coleen McLoughlin’s Beauty Line
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Closer also makes a compelling photographic example that Joe Cole’s lady, Carly Zucker, has lost the badunk from her trunk and is getting too skinny.
Forget that. Our question: Is there ever a time, a moment, a place, that Carly Zucker doesn’t have her midriff uncovered?
We’re down with a little midriff, but this is like 80s Let’s Get Physical 20 Minute Workout Style midriff. In fact, it’s not a midriff, it’s a ribriff.
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David has shaved his hair off. Rapidly changing hairstyles as a sign of an unstable marriage and the need to move in with the editor of Kickette: Discuss.

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Damn it, and I liked Slade. Oh well, I’m not gonna read the article. I have more important things to do, like listen to music and stare at the ceiling.
In other news: Coleen pisses the shit outta me.