December 16th, 2010
(We Reject This) Product Shill: Olympique Marseille For KAHMO
Somehow, the genius behind Lisa Lingerie and KAHMO duped Marseille footballers Mathieu Valbuena, Charles Kabore and Jean-Philippe Sabo – as well as one of the club’s rugby stars Frederick Ourabah – into thinking ladies love a good neon underwear gang bang.
That, or creators of the KAHMO collection understood that their designs were… utter crap. After all, who’d want to claim stake in boxer briefs that look like the consequences of Z-list guests at an Ed Hardy forgetting to tip their bartenders?
Regardless of the backstory, we have heartfelt pity for these Marseille men.
Despite the fact that even a seasoned underwear model like Cristiano Ronaldo couldn’t find it in him to make this egregious garb look good, Mathieu Valbuena accepted KAHMO’s challenge without respite.
Valbuena, although lone shirtless ranger in the series of photos, clearly missed the sharing-your-criminal-past-as-your-pickup-line-ain’t-hot memo. Not a fan of making eye contact with the camera, he’s jockeying HARD for a free room with the only female on set. Too bad she later fled the scene with his comrades.
For the fellas among us who may mock Valbuena for his tribal arm band tattoo or his endless supply of buttonless button down shirts, listen up: that supporting cast of creepily-staring studs is your Friday and Saturday night karma. Think and drink wisely, because us gals know how to spot the drunkest guy in the place within seconds of entering the premises. And our cans of pepper spray are always safely tucked two zipper compartments away.
May you go in eye bleach peace, Kickettes.