December 16th, 2010

(We Reject This) Product Shill: Olympique Marseille For KAHMO


Truth be told that on days we’re lacking in stories or inspiration, we hit Google. And today, we hit the awkward photo jackpot.

Somehow, the genius behind Lisa Lingerie and KAHMO duped Marseille footballers Mathieu Valbuena, Charles Kabore and Jean-Philippe Sabo – as well as one of the club’s rugby stars Frederick Ourabah – into thinking ladies love a good neon underwear gang bang.

That, or creators of the KAHMO collection understood that their designs were… utter crap. After all, who’d want to claim stake in boxer briefs that look like the consequences of Z-list guests at an Ed Hardy forgetting to tip their bartenders?

Regardless of the backstory, we have heartfelt pity for these Marseille men.

Despite the fact that even a seasoned underwear model like Cristiano Ronaldo couldn’t find it in him to make this egregious garb look good, Mathieu Valbuena accepted KAHMO’s challenge without respite.

Valbuena, although lone shirtless ranger in the series of photos, clearly missed the sharing-your-criminal-past-as-your-pickup-line-ain’t-hot memo. Not a fan of making eye contact with the camera, he’s jockeying HARD for a free room with the only female on set. Too bad she later fled the scene with his comrades.

For the fellas among us who may mock Valbuena for his tribal arm band tattoo or his endless supply of buttonless button down shirts, listen up: that supporting cast of creepily-staring studs is your Friday and Saturday night karma. Think and drink wisely, because us gals know how to spot the drunkest guy in the place within seconds of entering the premises. And our cans of pepper spray are always safely tucked two zipper compartments away.

May you go in eye bleach peace, Kickettes.

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12 Responses to “(We Reject This) Product Shill: Olympique Marseille For KAHMO”

  1. Alex Samuel says:

    who the hell wears neon underwear?

  2. Emme says:

    This ad campaign is just confusing and it's creepy. And why are they running by the pool? Not trying to sound like a square, but that's just dangerous.

  3. cherryboomboom says:

    This is a disgrace for Marseille….

  4. BarceLisa says:

    where's Antonio Sabato Jr and Marky Mark when you need them? then again, not even they could save this monstrosity. EPIC fail.

  5. canada says:

    The above-ground hot tub is offensive.

  6. C16 says:

    Oh Lord… This is all so wrong. SO SO wrong.
    My eyes…

  7. Catie says:

    …this may just be the worst underwear ad ever, and I am truly perplexed by the "let's jog by the pool!" shot.

    • ashmenon says:

      I was just about to comment on that one. Not only does it look ridiculously awkward, who on earth jogs barefoot on slippery wet surfaces?! The dude on the left looks like he found out the hard way what lack of traction can do to you.

  8. Missy Manchester says:

    Cringeworthy on all counts. Bad styling. Bad modelling. Bad product. Bad photography. Just plain bad. And sad.

  9. LuvinBale says:

    Oh dear lord! Whomever thought this ad campaign was a good idea should be fired, tarred, feathered and then dragged the the streets. I cant stop laughing at neon gang bang-m Oh Kickette how I love you!

  10. lisette05 says:

    Urgh. The picture set in the flat makes my skin crawl. It looks so cheap and sleazy – even more so than in the other ones. "Dress like the kind of hooker who services two men at once" is NOT a good image. I don't care if they're professional footballers.

  11. Chavete says:

    this is just wrong in everyway possible!