December 9th, 2011

Weekend Matches: What To Watch Live, Later & With The Lights Down Low

Xabi Alonso strokes his beard whilst mulling over his team’s chances of winning this weekend’s El Clasico.

It’s going to be a big, contentious weekend of footy, we can feel it.

Short on time or interest to catch all the action as it happens? Yeah, we can feel that too.

There is a solve, though, that we’ve never explored before.

What we’re about to divulge, Kickettes, is our secretly cherished weekend match-viewing rituals.  No one else besides our HQ knows what we do on the weekends, except now for all of our readers too. Get your electronics and bank balances sorted because you’re about to watch footy like you’ve never done before.

Head To The Pub, Open a Tab & Watch A Slew Of Games Live: Arsenal vs. Everton, Bolton vs. Aston Villa, Liverpool vs. QPR, Manchester United vs. Wolverhampton, Norwich vs. Newcastle, Swansea vs. Fulham, Wigan vs. West Brom (Saturday, 10 December; Kick off 15:00 GMT; 10:00am EST / 7:00am PST)

There’s gonna be a lot going on Saturday thanks the seven EPL matches that will be played at the same time on the same day. Your tab by the end of it all will be well into the triple digits and your phone should be chock full of unintelligible names and/or numbers.



Set Your DVR & Watch Later In The Weekend: Hibernian vs. Glasgow Rangers (Saturday, 10 December; Kick off 12:30 GMT / 7:30am EST / 3:30am PST)

Glasgow Rangers megastore signing

Image via Facebook.

Glasgow is stacked in the American studs department, with Carlos Bocanegra, Maurice Edu and Alejandro Bedoya simultaneously suiting up alongside one another for the past few weekends. With the odds that this game will be a snoozefest high, and the likelihood that all three will feature being low, rely on your remote’s fast forward, rewind and pause buttons to do your exposed skin searching for you.


Curl Up In The Comforts Of Your Own Home & Watch With the Lights Dimmed Low and a Glass Of Pinot: Barcelona vs. Real Madrid (Saturday, 10 December; Kick off 21:00 GMT / 4:00pm EST / 1:00pm PST)

Real Madrid’s Gonzalo Higuain, Pepe and Angel Di Maria talk El Clasico strategy during today’s training. Image Credit: Reuters Pictures.

Any footy fan who’s clued in will probably agree that this is the weekend’s marquee match-up for every reason under the sun.

Except for ours: The bodacious bod to horrific hair ratio. There comes a point where the sheer number of perfectly formed muscle fibres in the average footballer’s body over-rides his ability to make good hair decisions. Multiply whatever an average footballer’s body is in numbers by 22 starting players and we have ourselves a tantalisingly untamed El Clasico. The first one this season, in fact.

And there’s no better way to watch it than by polishing off your own bottle of wine without interruption.


Yowser, that’s the most actual football reportage we’ve ever done and we’re exhausted. Any results you’re crossing your fingers for this weekend, Kickettes?

Ed. Note: We don’t plan on making this an ongoing series, unless our readers want it to be…?

In the event that happens, we ask for extra prep time to book appointments with our hair stylists. A few staffers will need to securely fasten their extensions before viciously ripping them out in weekly anguish thereafter.

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60 Responses to “Weekend Matches: What To Watch Live, Later & With The Lights Down Low”

  1. Katherine says:


    That is all.

  2. lizzy says:

    if theres a picture of xavi like that every week then hell yeah this should be a weekly segment

  3. Shelley says:

    Iniesta!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's soooooo good. Why isn't he in the top 3 players in the world list? I think he is better than CR7 and Xavi personally. Anyway, great courage shown by the Barca players after losing a goal so early. It was good that there was no punch up at the end I guess, but Mou looks in chains at the moment. His new 'nice' persona has taken the spark out of his managerial ability in my opinion. Pep cahnged formation several times in the game until it worked. Mou just looked tired, quiet and unable to do anything.

    • xoWinnie says:

      for once we agree on something. Iniesta is amazing, and oh-so-underrated. Mou was like a turtle who had sunk into his shell, he did not look himself that night either. he even looked tired as you say. i noticed that in the beginning when both teams came out. he hasn't figured out that Barca-beating formula yet.

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      I think Mourinho kindly fed up he tried everything when you have players on the pitch that can't finish their chances, you can't do anything.
      Everyone is criticizing him for not subbing cristano, but I think a) superstars dont get subbed in such games, coachs rarely do it b) cristano will still be pretty vital player for rm for the whole season, he needs to show him that he believes in him, that he can change the game.
      Mourinho felt defeated, I agree like he wasn't even trying, it is so not Mourinho! But, again I think Mourinho was looking at this game as 3 points only, I hope that was case I hope!

  4. Pam says:

    Now that the first Liga Clasico of the season is behind us, here's my recap:

    Things I liked:
    - Mou seeking out Villanova and shaking his hands.
    - The way Barca fought back after being down by a goal in 20 seconds.
    - Iker saving so many goals thrown at him by relentless Barca attack. The first goal stood no chance of saving, the second was a fluke due to chance deflection. The third he could have done better…
    - The way Valdes didn't let his early mistake get to him and the way he continued to pass the ball
    - The respect that Spanish internationals from both sides showed each other

    Things I disliked:
    - Marcelo refusing to shake hands with Pique. Other than that, the two sides interacted well at the end of the game.

    The best thing of all:
    The game ended without the usual Clasico meelee!

    • Pam says:

      Another thing to add to things I disliked:
      Kaka bopping Xavi with the ball. It was harmless, but was it necessary?…

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      The moment where Puyol looked at his team and cheered them after the goal, I knew there will be a come back. He reminded me of Hierro, me as a madridista, I felt my club missed a hierro, Raul a guy who can motivate yesterday :(

      • Pam says:

        I am not really sure if Hierro or Raul would have turned the tide yesterday. I think Ronaldo and possibly Ramos need talk to a sports psychologist. They seem to do so well against other teams but fail to show up when they play Barcelona. I think you said pretty much the same in your thread and I agree with you.

        The Real of 15 wins were nowhere to be found yesterday. Real is an awesome team and they need to stop Barca getting into their heads.

        • Sarah, Madrid says:

          Actually Hierro would have pulled the ball looked at his players and just nood his head and motivate. Raul I will never forget clasico where Iker went to him, he just gave the best pep talk ever and end up saving a Ronaldinho PK!
          This kind of leadership we missed yesterday. Juanito Spirit.
          About Kaka's I definitely thought it was something of mistake and he definitely didn't mean it for sure, not Kaka you know?

          • Pam says:

            I didn't watch RM when Hierro or Raul were captaining. From what you say, they sound like awesome captains!

            Agree with you about Kaka. In fact, if it was anyone else, I'd have just SMH. But Kaka!

  5. Team Barca says:

    Yeah barca won =D =D =D

  6. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Iker, all I have to say, Hala Madrid!! Mourinho, Benzema hats up. As for you Iniesta you are a beauty, there is too much criticism for my team, but for once I will enjoy a clasico where it ended up with hugs, clean game, no tension. Finally they get it is just a game with 3 points.

    Hard luck my Madrid, Congrats Barcelona, we are not there yet Mentality wise!, I am very weirdly very relaxed about this game maybe because we only got ourself to blame for own lost chances, dont capitalize on your chances infront of barc you will be puinshed.

    • xoWinnie says:

      omg! me too! everyone thought i was gonna be some raging maniac after that game
      the truth is, i enjoyed watching it! i was pissed throughout it, but i mostly felt bad
      i wasn't angry with anyone! Barcelona did what they had to do! you have to score
      to win! Madrid just couldn't find the net last night, it was heartbreaking!
      Iker was also having some bad luck. that second goal was brutal!
      i cringed so hard! you could tell he felt so guilty :( but Iniesta was tearing sh1t up
      it was a pleasure to watch, i was so entertained and mystified, i couldn't even be mad!
      the weekend results post tmo is gonna be a sh1t-storm though,
      i can already see people trying to stir the pot smh…

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        I know right maybe because this clasico only means 3 points and also the way our players are addressing it. The only negative thing was Marcelo refusing shaking Pique's hand :( , that was just sign of bitter loser, he should take a look back at his role model Carlos! Embarrassing, freaking embarrsassing…

        • xoWinnie says:

          i love Marcelo, but he can be so stubborn sometimes. that's disappointing. but i'm glad our boys are keeping their chins up. they looked threatening during the first half. they were confident–that's the Madrid i like to see! during the second half they looked nervous and unsure. that cost them a lot. this is a mental game, just as much as it is physical. you have to have a winner's mind-set. i'm just glad that they scored first, or i'm sure the final result would have been a whole lot worse.

          • Sarah, Madrid says:

            Exactly we lost mentally, alonso's face said it all it after the third goal, I wished everyone were as cool as Benzema he was so cool composed he was so relaxed playing his thing but you know what killed me yesterday it was Pipa's bday :( .
            Did you notice how clean Pepe was, Ramos…., I feel like this clasico just cleared away all the tension we had before in all clasicos, it was like redemption…

            • xoWinnie says:

              omg! poor Pipita! :( i didn't know it was his birthday yesterday! it would've made it so much more special if he had scored! awwe :(

              i loved Pepe last night. he was a little clumsy, but he certainly wasn't running around the pitch looking like he was trying to kick everybody's ass! it pissed me off when he fouled Sanchez, apologized, tried to help him up, and the dude basically pushes him away so he can bitch to the ref. like…really bro? okay then.

              and i loved Sergio's face when he got yellow carded. he was like "who–me?" then just shrugged and went about his business lol. it's like he's accepted that it's his fate to get a card in pretty much every clasico lmao!

              • Sarah, Madrid says:

                Right!! About Pepe vs Sanchez, Sanchez wasn't my fav player yesterday *somoene should have sent him the wrong memo thinking it was last season clasicos* :P , everyone was relaxed and calm, but him…like chill dude it is just a foul, Pepe learned from his mistakes with Ramos.
                The only time our players were up on the referee face when Alonso was fouled *is like they know it is Alonso he can't be injured* lol

                • xoWinnie says:

                  LOL @ the memo thing haha! i totally agree. that was the kind of behaviour that tainted last season's clasicos! like Sanchez, you don't have to whine and bitch about everything. not every rough tackle is a foul and warrants carding…sheesh! on the other hand, he is really attractive. i would be like "OH MY GAWD! SHUT YOUR EFFING MOUTH!" then see that smile and practically melt. Cesc was also looking better last night. oh what the hell, the man looked sexy as hell! i feel so dirty saying that…i replaced my guilt with thoughts of naked Sergio. my soul became pure again lol

                  • Sarah, Madrid says:

                    hahaha, GUILTY too, about Alexis yummy!!, Barcelona did a good job there, he looked hot as hell and his smile you know remind me of who? of Roberto Carlos. Cesc never did it for me :p!

                    This sergio thought is just a win, btw boo for the cold weather yesterday, resulted into no half naked men :p.

                    • xoWinnie says:

                      GASP! SHUT UP! you are so right about the Roberto Carlos thing!
                      that beautiful, albeit short, man! reminds me of Madrid in better days:')

              • Krisina says:

                Well, that was the only thing I really didn't like yesterday. Ramos tackle on Messi. I think he walked away calmly because he knew he could have gotten a red for that. That card was orange, if not red. Hell, if Leo hadn't jumped up high his leg would have snapped. No, yesterday no hip dips or shiny hair saved the Ramos. That was ugly.

                • Sarah, Madrid says:

                  Yeah, but the same could have said about Alves's tackle on Alonso, that was ugly too!! I really admire Alonso this guy *knock on wood* is made of steel.
                  Anyway this game was normal, so these kind of tackles just happens on the pitch, it was from both sides.

                • xoWinnie says:

                  i know, i watched the replay, it was bad. i was surprised Messi didn't milk it, like he had for another previously. but Ramos isn't usually a good judge of his own actions, you know? i was surprised he kept his mouth shut. he's learning how to keep himself in check. i like that :)

                  • Sarah, Madrid says:

                    Funny how my friends like he didn't touch messi and all I did roll my eyes on them, like wow I definitely watched something else :p

    • Kristina says:

      Yes it was a game where mentality was key. What is up with Cron and clasicos? He looked pale even, as if he was scared. People talk about bad luck. But sometimes you make your bad luck happen, if you know what I mean. Sometimes it's in your head, and it's especially evident in athletes. If you're not sue of your self you can give yourself bad luck. As well as good luck. Take Xavi's goal, or Marcelo's own goal. Xavi's shot was a very good one. He managed to press it downwards, where a less talented footballer would have shot the ball way up in the stands. It was concentration and skill that made him take that shot. Marcelo tried to stand in his way but steered in his own goal. It was bad luck for RM, but the situation started as an act of brilliance from Xavi.

      But I can't help to feel bad for Cristiano. He scores from those chances every day in the week, blindfolded. But he couldn't keep his cool. He must feel bad today.

      Anyway, I'm glad it was such a positive football experience. The game was tense and tight and we got to see many brilliant individual skills. And yes, I would marry Iniesta in a heartbeat if he would have me :) .

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        I know right about Cristano, I still don't understand what's his deal infront of barcelona, it wasn't that he was selfish even, he had some good runs, BUT he was just mentally checked out, his two chances, if it just went in esp if the result went 2-0 in first 30 minutes, that would been a game changer, I thought xavi goal was a bit tricky for Iker, Marcelo changed it's direction, because iker anticapted it in the other direction, for me that goal was pure luck *not to take away from xavi orginial shot, but for me it was*. For example, even our goal first goal was like the ball wants to get in, benzema finish was incredible, but again it was like the ball wanted to come back to us, I heard Mourinho conference even him didnt like the way we scored.
        I thought this clasico was just nice, Mourinho making peace with tito, Mourinho praising Barcelona saying they were better, him taking blame saying he didnt want to sent out Karanka, Mourinho did change. I even loved the part in the end where I think it was pedro hugging Iker like he was his papa Bear or something :p.

      • xoWinnie says:

        i feel bad for him, i do agree he wasn't himself. people are already latching on to this performance to downplay his skills and talent. that strike he had from a few yards out in the first half was phenomenal. and i agree with you, on any other day, that probably would have went in. like that header? that was frustrating. i think he has some sort of mental block when Real plays Barca. thought he'd never admit it, i think he feels intimidated, which allows the other boys to step up a bit (i.e. Benz, i was so impressed with him last night), but he is big part of our team. i guess he's still not used to Clasico pressure.

      • Anonymous says:

        Lol it says a lot when Marca rate Cristiano a 1/10

  7. Anastasia says:

    OMGGG I love Xabi!! I want to take his clothes off and do bad things to him. That is all.

  8. _Titi_ says:

    Anyone want to restart the Messi vs. Cron debate again? Im not even sure hes better than Xavi and Iniesta. Iniesta ate the Madrid defense alive today lol

    • Kristina says:

      Xavi, Iniesta and Puyol was awesome, awesome, awesome! Alexis was great too. You could tell he was on fire. At some points in the game I thought " calm down!", but then again, it must be such an experience to play your first el Clasico! And yes, to challenge Messi for the title as the best footballer in the world, Cristiano must work on his mentality. You can't loose it like that when the big games arrive. That won't do.

  9. ArsenalFiesta says:

    Can't wait 4 El Classico tonight!!!

  10. _Titi_ says:

    Visca Barca y Visca Catalunya!

  11. Kristina says:

    I'm having a great day! First, the trip that I was supposed to go on was cancelled so now I CAN WATCH THE GAME! But first I'm watching the Nobel prize award ceremony. Yes I am. I always do. I love to watch the amazingly brilliant award winners talk about their work, especially the the winner of the prize in literature. Who happen to be swedish this time!

    First brainy people and then hot people! Perfect combination! Throw some wine and snacks in the mix and you have fabulous evening! May the best team win!

  12. Excellent – this sounds like the perfect way to watch El Classico every time! I'll just add some chocolate, a couple extra bottles of wine and maybe some flamenco music on low in the background and tell everyone not to disturb me this evening….

    The Blossom Shed

  13. Lauren_BCN says:

    Can you believe that my best friend is having a birthday party tonight WHYYYYYY did she got born today???!!! :-) )))

  14. lone- Brazil says:

    I can not imagine football without these wonders! Sighs and more sighs!

  15. Ailin says:


  16. DebS says:

    El Classico will be shown on, in Spanish & English. Watch it live or on replay. ;) I will probably do both.

  17. Mrs Q.Borri says:

    Hot men plus wine equals EL CLASICO! the only place to be, look, breath, eat or whatever the hell you wanna put it. That’s the game of games the only one you need to see, ladies.

    ”El mundo para mañana” so very true. The world stops tomorrow just to see El Clasico. I hope everything goes well, no violence, no stupidity and may the best team win (obviously El Barca) !! Bute I got say is going to be a hell of a good game, thats for sure. :) Lets see if we can survive to all of thoose hot pieces of ass!! Lol. Cause Im sure Im going to be torn.

    Y por supuesto: Que viva el Barcelona!!!

  18. JayJay says:

    Im sorry but Xabi and Carlos are the two finest pieces of man candy i've ever seen.
    Put Yoann Gourcuff on this and it would be the piece de resistance. <3

  19. JA7 says:

    Xabi and Carlos Bocanegra..two fine ass footballers. Le sigh.

  20. Miss Lampard says:

    Give me a good bottle of wine and I'll take it with Xabi..He's to sexy ever when he's so serious..this man is absolutely gorgeous..

  21. Jackie says:

    El Clasico is the only thing that matters!! Hala Madrid!!!

  22. earidurt says:

    that photo of xabi gave me heart palpitations…..which of course made reading this post damn near impossible. here's a tip, if you want us to actually read and understand what you post kickette, don't put a photograph of xabi looking like that at the very beginning…all hope and self control will be lost.

  23. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Well, it started with a yummy xabi and ended up with a Higgy booty, so a total win situation for me. Yeah, I already starting to abuse my wine.

    a) keep it clean boys b) Happy early birthday Higgy, may and your booty have a long life c) Shirt exchanging in the half time or full time will be much appericated d) a hug between Mou and Pep will be also on my wishlist and e) finally, HALA MADRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID….

  24. Rachael says:

    Didn’t take in much info once I got to the pic of Higuain’s bum, is it getting bigger?

  25. Jelisa_Rose says:

    after the photo of Xabi Alonso I can't even focus on the text of the article.(

  26. April says:

    Dear Xabi… stop distracting me with your good looks- it is terrible for my job productivity. Thanks!

  27. JaneSpotting says:

    El Clasico of hot Spanish ballers…the only place to be this weekend.

  28. senora ramos says:

    bottles of wine, rocking back and forth, and yelling things my 3 year old shouldn't hear, and appreciating beauty on both sides of the touchline…that's right, it's el clasico for me this weekend! HALA MADRID!! let's keep it clean boys.