April 26th, 2010

Weekend Results: A Tad Short On Skin

Having spent the weekend biting our nails over as yet undecided leagues, compiling the F5 results and giving ourselves the Jaffa Cakes shakes, things are a bit tense at Kickette HQ. We won’t deny it. Punches Words have been exchanged. Handbags have been thrown. Hip dips have been cried over.

In this kind of situation, usual advice would be to evacuate the area while the riot squad move in, but it’s way too late for that. Ladies, grab yourself a bucket of espresso, a nail file and a fistful of Inter Milan’s Marko Arnautovic (above) and follow us over the jump for more.

Psst. Better get out of the way, Marko, or we’ll consume you and your provocative little tummy like so much chocolate cake.


Taking their lead from the Kickette Christmas party 2009, EPL highlights this weekend included dislocated limbs, vomiting and regrettably provocative hair styles.


Manchester United kept pressure on Chelsea with a 3-1 win against Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford. Patrice Evra vomited. A lot.

Wayne Rooney watched the game with Coleen and son Kai who was wearing a United jersey with ‘My Dad’ written on the back.  So sweet we may become unconscious.

Meanwhile, at the Emirates, Arsenal fans undertook a campaign of theatrical booing at to welcome back cherished ex-Gunner Emmanual Adebayor. Clearly worried that the crowds wouldn’t have enough material to keep them going, Adebayor generously supplied more ammunition (above).

In the same game, City’s goalkeeper Shay Given dislocated his shoulder. It looked quite painful.


PFA Young Player of the Year James Milner scored a controversial penalty to win the derby match against Birmingham, while Liverpool relegated Burnley from the Premier League with a 4-0 stomping at Turfmoor. Off the pitch however, Fernando Torres was busy expressing his concerns about his future at the club. *Gulp*. Anything to say to that, LFC girls?

Frankie Lampard took his season tally to twenty goals as Chelsea put seven past a hapless Stoke side at Stamford Bridge. Saloman Kalou scored a sweet hat trick but the whole lot of them should be ashamed of themselves. Seven goals and you all keep your clothes on?! We are in outrage.

This hoarding plus Tim Cahill’s posture and facial expression had us extremely concerned about an outbreak at Everton. (The sign says “crabbies”! And Tim is… geddit? It’s funny!)  No, we will not grow up, but thanks for asking. Aside from the potential outbreak (hee) the Toffees were able to bring in a 2-1 home win against Fulham.

La Liga

While Barcelona beat Xerez 3-1 at home – putting them ahead by a point with four to play, Real Madrid also won away at Zaragoza ensuring the title race goes to the wire. (As you can see, Higgy did the right thing on exit.) Oh, and Guti-pie? We’re not sure, but we think Iker’s trying to tell you something.

In other news, David Villa and his soul patch scored a penalty to give Valencia 1-0 home win against Deportivo. He also kept his clothes on.

Serie A

Inter beat Atalanta 3-1 and regained the initiative at the top of the table after Roma lost at home to Sampdoria. Sampdoria’s Antonio Cassano (above) was one of the few players this weekend who observed the Kickette endorsed celebration of running around in his pants. We enjoyed it.

Of course, we can’t forget to mention the Rangers big title win in the Scottish League. We’re not betting women, but we’d put some money on a few pints being consumed to celebrate. (Possibly by the person who helped Nacho Novo throw together this delightful ensemble.) Congratulations!

How was the weekend for you?

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49 Responses to “Weekend Results: A Tad Short On Skin”

  1. Kahlen says:

    hahahaha omg I was dying while watching Iker screaming for Guti. lol he looked so hot. Well, pretty much everyone on Real Madrid are good-looking ;)

  2. Elisa says:

    Villa did take his shirt off girls at the end of the game. He gave is shirt to Depor's Ze Castro. Damn can't find a link.

  3. [...] em um post de hoje das Kickettes, resolvi fuçar várias agências atrás de mais imagens deste gatinho austríaco descendente [...]

  4. shay says:

    That Iker yelling at Guti moment was one of the best its up of the day… Part II would have to be the Guti celebration after Raul scored
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrhF-YtnYkA and part III of the day would go to Ramos getting into the argument and the team calming him down even Guti ran all the way over to talk to him lol http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19MN_bVj18k

    Thanks Kickette!

    • senora ramos says:

      aww shay thanks for that!! so sad i missed the match. espn deportes my butt it said it was going to be on espn2!!

      sergio mad is even hotter than sergio happy! lol! he looked like he was about to kick some ass and take some names.

      and guti looked like a big kid how cute! so awesome for raul, but so sad. as he more than likely won't be with us next year, he won't get to the top of the list :'(

      • shay says:

        I know right…. Sergio just looks extreme hot when he is angry, when Ramos turned and was face to face with that guy i kind of wanted him to knock him out but was glad that he controlled his temper…. from that link there are like 20 other videos that person posted from the game there is a wee bit of lack of Ramos though…. lots of Guti (maybz cuz he was captain lol)

  5. Nando's ma says:

    Oh and more Marko please (he’s such a tease)

  6. Nando's ma says:

    The NOTW “exclusive” is rubbish cos I don’t believe a Liverpool player would give them an interview
    plus freckles has already said a gazillion times that he’s happy and staying put for a few years at least

    And Iker – mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm yes please

  7. iloveemanunited. says:

    Adebayors hair ahaha ;D

  8. Linda (Gooner till I die) says:

    Well, since we’re no longer in the title race, I hope Chelsea win it, because I have a soft spot for Lamps and Joey (OK… have to admit it – the notion of United’s 4th consecutive title is killing me).

    As for Torres, I wouldn’t mind him leaving. IMO Serie A would suit him well. Milan or Juventus maybe…

    But I’m a little bit disappointed with the YPOTY result… Cesc should have won it!! aaarghhh :-(

  9. carly says:

    hahaha Nacho :D

    Wow, I missed a lot this weekend, as I couldn’t watch barely any football, but it was nice to catch up here.
    Evra vomited, really? Ugh.
    Oh and Cassano, you need to stop that. Seriously, it’s a bit OTT.

    Arnautovic, I had no idea you looked like that. o.0

  10. Molly says:

    So when is the next F5 and Hot H.O.F going to be up Kickette?!?!? I am really excited (nervous too) and want to see it :) !!!!

  11. Tula says:

    I have never heard of this Marco before but I think I love him. Veeya, hot shouty Iker and the revelation that Higuain looks rather good with his top off are also nice; Cassano in his his jocks is really, REALLY not :(

  12. Molly says:

    OMG that video of Iker yelling at Guti is so sexy!!!! I love it!!! I watched it like 20 times already lol :) !! Thanks Kickette :) !!!
    Marko is seriously a hottie maybe I shoud start watching Inter matches more often :) !
    And my weekend results were okay :) !!

    • Molly says:

      And those pictures of Kai wearing a Man U kit with "my dad" on the back is just percious!!! I've been looking for a pic of Kai in a Man U kit so thanks again Kickette!! :) !

      It really sucks that Chelsea scored 7 goals :( ! But they got lucky because Stoke City isn't that great of a team anyways AND alot of their players got hurt during the game…SORRY BUT TRUE!!!

    • senora ramos says:

      agreed molly. iker’s so hot when he’s fiesty and yelling!!

      hoping marko plays against bartha! that’s pretty much the only inter match i’d watch (no offense to the serie a ladies)

      • Molly says:

        Isn't he!!! I love when he gets all fiesty and stuff. Espicially when it is between him and Guti lolololololol. I don't know, maybe it is weird, but I love when he and Guti get into screaming matches on the pitch lololol :) !!!

  13. sounderslove says:

    I’m not even a liverpool fan and the idea of him leaving is just ridiculous. almost as ridiculous as cesc leaving arsenal….almost….

  14. Mrs.Roni says:

    aww Marko the best footballer :o ) anddd he’s hadsome,*** ehhee
    btw Marko is my life ,my life is Marko Marko Markoooo ^_^

  15. ElNino9 says:

    I seriously doubt anything that the News of The World has printed – and if it is all true, it’s probably been taken way out of context!
    Torres wouldn’t do that to us! We need him!

  16. anja says:

    wasn't nani also sick? poor guys!!

  17. Alessandra says:

    !!!!!!!!! curse you, kickette…i'm not suppose to fall for interrrrrr. especially not 2 days before D-DAYYYYYYY.

  18. Merel says:

    I love Marko! Haha, I've had the pleasure of seeing him play and all long before you :D I tell you, last year was good here in The Netherlands.

    • Syrian! says:

      hahaha sure @ FC Twente,, I have seen him playing too .. hes amazing .. we just love markooo <3

      • Merel says:

        Oh yeah.. And I am an PSV fan, but Marko gave me a very good reason to have some sympathy towards Twente. :D

  19. Syrian! says:


  20. Inés says:

    goshhhhh! :D

    Kickette, please, pay attention to the Hugo Boss new campaign! Xavi, Cesc and Villa are in it! perfection!!!!

  21. Jo says:

    This was a rough week for keepers in the EPL. Given, Sorenson, and Kirkland all had ouchies of varying degrees. A speedy recovery to all of them and to any that I might have missed.

  22. TristaJade says:

    I started cracking up when I was watching Iker yelling at Guti during the game. That was pretty great. Yay for Madrid and Man. Utd. getting the title races tight, but boo to the small, small amounts of skin being shown this weekend. What the hell, boys? What. The. Hell?

  23. Erin says:

    Torres is going nowhere right now. He's right–the Premier League is a very physical and demanding league. Nothing he said was surprising. He has also always said that he hopes to finish his career back in Spain. But that's a long way off. Simply a case of the papers taking a few quotes and running with a story of their own making.

    Adebayor's hair gave me lots of laughs this weekend as well! And hope Shay Given heals quickly. It looked awfully painful. Though I'm disgusted that the FA is considering letting MUFC bring in an emergency keeper. Ridiculous.

    • Erin says:

      Oops…obviously I meant MCFC, not MUFC. Apologies.

    • ElNino9 says:

      Completely agree with everything you’ve just written!
      And the Man City thing – I think it’s ridiculous they’ve even appealed in the first place…it’s not like they didn’t have the time/money to buy any back-up keepers!

  24. Nando leaving Liverpool would be my worst nightmare come true.

    And I don't mean to hijack this thread, but the suspense of the F5 is killing me! When Kickettes when? I've almost bitten my nails to the bone.

  25. imhereforthenando says:

    I don't have anything to say about Fernando Torres leaving Liverpool, because it isn't going to happen. He can't. My mind won't allow me to even imagine a world where that occurs.

    On another note, how do I score an invite to the 2010 Kickette Christmas party?

  26. senora ramos says:

    gonzalo, love, please take your shirt off more. thanks! yea to my boys for the win. i'm so proud of you for not falling apart like last year! hala madrid!

    hello there marko. you are quite a cutie! as is kai's jersey!!

    • senora ramos says:

      and david, i didn't intentionally skip you love. yea for your PK! so glad we finally got a win again!! and you are sexy. there, do you forgive me for leaving you out of my post? pretty please?!