November 28th, 2011
Weekend Results: Attitudes & Unworkable Themes
We have two takers for our next viewing of ‘Return Of The Jedi’.
One of us accidentally padded out our football viewing this weekend with episodes from the Star Wars trilogy.
Can you take a wild guess at which staffer that was?
Er… Benoit? Andre 3000 from Outkast just called. He wants his fro back. Tom Dulat/Getty Images.
Mario Balotelli received two yellow cards in the space of eighteen minutes yesterday afternoon. With his track record, we assumed the next thing we would see coming out of Eastlands was the striker’s contract attached to a rocket, but astonishingly, Roberto Mancini has defended his player – claiming opponents Liverpool were to blame for Balotelli’s hasty Anfield exit.
The game finished 1-1 (largely thanks to Joe Hart’s astonishing late show in goal) and Manchester United’s controversial 1-1 draw with Newcastle on Saturday ensured the Blues will remain five points clear at the top into December. Newcastle are fourth having only lost one all season, while Spurs are sandwiched in between after a super-duper 3-1 away win over West Brom.
Oh, don’t worry, Mesut. It takes time for baby deer to find their feet. You’ll get there soon enough. Image: Denis Doyle/Getty Images.
Barcelona lost their first league game of the season to humble Getafe, allowing Real Madrid to open up a six point pre-Christmas lead in La Liga. Two goals for Ronaldo, one each for Di Maria and Higuain and two red cards for Atletico handed Mou’s boys the initiative just a couple of weeks before El Clasico.
Meanwhile, Spanish football’s equivalent of the Rebel Alliance recovered from their recent engine problems to beat Gijon 4-0. Is it too late for Levante to seriously threaten a strike on the Death Star? Are Barcelona and Real Madrid in any way comparable to a fictional space station from a series of sci-fi movies from the late seventies?
And if so, who the hell is going to play Chewbacca?
No, not you, Edinson. You might have the hairdo for it, but this Star Wars theme is complicated enough to deal with, without getting Serie A involved. Image: GIUSEPPE CACACE/AFP/Getty Images.
Edinson isn’t really auditioning for the role of chief wookie in our increasingly irritating analogy – he had just scored a stoppage time equaliser for Napoli in their game vs. Atalanta. His side are still in the running in eighth spot, but will have to put together a decent run of results if they hope to challenge for the title as they did last season.
For a start they will have to get past AC Milan, who seem to be finding their feet after a rough start. The Rossoneri beat Chievo 4-0, while Inter also seem to be turning things round; a late goal from Luc Castaignos giving Ranieri’s men a vital three points and taking them to the heady heights of er… fifteenth place.
There are very few football teams we would refuse to go for a celebratory drink with. Borussia Dortmund may well be one of them. Image: REUTERS/Ina Fassbender.
Congratulations to Mainz, who beat Bayern Munich 3-2 yesterday and enabled the Borussia massive to sneak the top spot. Dortmund beat Schalke 2-0, while Monchengladbach put three past Cologne; both now have 29 points although Dortmund have a superior goal difference.
Eren Derdiyok scored a hat-trick in Bayer Leverkusen’s 3-3 draw with Hertha Berlin, while Augsberg shocked the pants off everyone by beating Wolfsburg 2-0. Obviously Augsberg remain bottom, but they’re now into double figures. That’s a reason to celebrate right there.
Yep, we know we put a picture of Olivier Giroud in last week’s results. But what kind of short-tent authority could we claim to be if we failed to publish this bulging beauty? Image: REUTERS/Vincent Kessler.
Ooh. Paris St Germain were defeated for the second week in a row in their game vs. Marseille and have conceded top spot to Montpellier, who beat Sochaux 3-1. Indeed, it’s all getting a little too close for comfort in Ligue 1, where a mere ten points separate the top eight clubs.
Rennes beat Evian Thonon Gaillar 3-2 in a dramatic fixture, while Lyon found their feet again with a comprehensive 3-0 victory over Auxerre. Rennes are fourth, while Lyon are breathing down their necks in fifth and Toulouse are sixth after a 2-0 win over Valenciennes.
Feel free to riff on our Star Wars theme as you comment on the weekend fixtures. You don’t have to, but it might be fun.