August 8th, 2011

Weekend Results: Big Boys Get Boo-Boos

The next few weeks are going to be a little chaotic, Kickettes. You probably won’t notice the difference, as the Weekend Results posts have been a masterclass in eclectisim since June, but couple the staggered start of the European league seasons with staff holidays, shopping extravaganzas and the ineptitude we wear like a badge and you will immediately see that only mayhem can ensue.

We promise to post lots of pictures of men in various states of undress, just to distract you. Like always.

Image Credit: Getty Images.

Italian Super Cup


Yup. We’d probably feel like that with 6ft 5ins worth of beard and ponytail travelling towards us at speed, Thiago Motta.

Just like United vs. City in the Community Shield, this fixture was an opportunity for Italy’s noisiest rivals to stake a claim on the league before it had even begun. Having won the Coppa Italia last season and seemingly retained Wesley Sneijder’s services despite the transfer jiggerypokery going on in the background, Inter looked the better side in the early stages; Sneijder fulfilling his role in the drama by scoring a superb free kick in the 21st minute.

The fairytale soon crumbled though, as first Zlatan Ibrahimovic and then Kevin Prince Boeteng scored to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat for AC Milan. And with speculation about Sneijder’s future only getting more raucous this morning, it looks as though this defeat isn’t the only blow Inter are going to take in the next few weeks.

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FA Community Shield

Hmm. We didn’t think this would take long to catch on. Image: Getty Images/Daylife

And so to Wembley, where a significant proportion of the population of Manchester turned out to witness the opening salvos in the battle for the soul of the republik of Mancunia. Or the Community Shield, as less romantic types would have it.

Manchester City literally dominated the first half; their sheer size and speed outwitting a slumbering United and their ‘baby deer-in-the-headlights’ keeper David De Gea twice in the first half. But the one thing (apart from a shed load of trophies, of course) United have that City can’t buy is Sir Alex Ferguson in the dressing room at half-time. The gaffer of doom made a few minor tweaks to his side, presumably offered forth a blast of the hairdryer and sent his boys back out to do their busywork.

Suddenly City’s bulk looked too heavy to bear and a youthful Manchester United ran rings around them – the requested instruction from the dressing room clinically carried out via a goal from Chris Smalling and two from Nani. Manchester United 3 Manchester City 2.

Message received and understood, Sir Alex.

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Pre-Season ‘Friendlies’

This wasn’t quite what Charlie Adam had in mind when he signed up as Liverpool’s midfield enforcer. Image: Getty Images/Daylife

If Andy Carroll & Robin van Persie’s antics in their respective pre-season games this weekend are anything to go by, a refresher course in the term ‘friendly’ wouldn’t go amiss.

But while Andy Carroll’s face off with Valencia’s Adil Rami after a particularly aggressive challenge from the Liverpool striker was just pointless posturing in a solid 2-0 win for the Reds, RvP’s histrionics in Arsenal’s tie vs. Benfica may be indicative of something a little darker.

While Liverpool have conceded fifteen goals in five games and look far from prepared for the new EPL campaign, Arsenal have looked dishevelled and grumpy in their matches and on more than one occasion have scored early, only to concede defeat to ‘inferior’ opposition.

Frustration abounds at the Emirates, Kickettes. Arsene Wenger has a big week ahead of him.

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Bundesliga

Mario Goetze of Borussia Dortmund. Yet another reason to pay attention to our Bundesliga coverage. Image: PATRIK STOLLARZ/AFP/Getty Images/Daylife

Did this league actually stop? Has our laziness and inability to concentrate been exposed once again?

A quick glance at the scores from this weekends Bundesliga fixtures suggests so; the Borussias of Dortmund and Monchengladbach claimed solid wins (the former having won the title last season after a blistering run of form, the latter surviving almost certain relegation by doing the same thing), Schalke disappointed expectant fans and Manuel Neuer remains the sworn enemy of the Bayern Munich. Unfortunately, this time he is playing for them.

We’ll come to the reasons behind Neuer’s lack of favour with the Bayern faithful in a mo. But first to Dortmund, who gave a footballing masterclass to Hamburg and beat them 3-1. They didn’t even have the decency to do it with a bunch of expensive new players; last season’s danger men Kevin Grosskreutz and Mario Götze scored the goals between them, Grosskreutz propelling himself into joint top scorer spot with two.

Meanwhile, Stuttgart sit atop the embryonic Bundesliga table, having inflicted a 3-0 win over Schalke 04. Schalke, whose side featured both Raul and Huntelaar, appeared toothless at the front and spineless at the back, which we’re sure you’ll agree is not a good look for anyone. Sigh.

Having been harrassed by Bayern ‘Ultras’ from the moment his transfer to Bayern Munich from Schalke was first mentioned, we’re guessing that Manuel Neuer would have been hoping for an impressive competitive debut. Sadly, this happened, leaving the duckfaced one flapping about in the penalty area like a chick left behind by his mommy and his team 1-0 down to last season’s strugglers. Again, not a good look, but we have faith that his skillz will soon assert themselves and he shall be universally loved once more. Ahem.

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Ligue 1

St Etienne beat Bordeaux 2-1 on Sunday and celebrated like this. Any idea what this is about, people? Image: Getty Images/Daylife

Judging from Rennes performance against newbies Dijon, last season’s slide from top spot to fifth in the latter stages has left a bitter taste. Dijon suffered a 5-1 defeat in their first ever game in Ligue 1, a scoreline which will be difficult to forget in their long battle for survival. Rennes top the table from Montpellier (3-1 over AJ Auxerre) and Lyon (3-1 over Nice) among others, but last year’s champs Lille failed to beat Nancy and are already on the back foot for the campaign in twelfth.

What were you watching, Kickettes? Share the love.

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27 Responses to “Weekend Results: Big Boys Get Boo-Boos”

  1. denmark says:

    Andy Carroll is so hot that photo of him is just ………..can' print my thoughts here

  2. balicious8 says:

    Since when ligue 1 is better than Liga Sagres from Portugal?? I mean, i think it's time to post something about Porto,Benfica & Sporting

  3. Agnes Wonka says:

    YES! I'm so happy for Man.Utd!

  4. Leya_S says:

    I assume that no Arsenal comments mean everyone's as scared as I am about what's gonna happen this season…

  5. kathy91 says:

    Nice to see a larger coverage of the Bundesliga. Borussia Dortmund is worth it. Great football, great team!

  6. earidurt says:

    andy carroll is hot. especially when he is all angry and fired-up. sexyy

  7. Sergz says:

    Man United dominated most part of the game. City got their first goal out of a free kick (not due to their own dribbling skills) and the second goal was a big, big mistake from De Gea (hopefully he'll learn how to handle it better).

    Loved the Community Shield. I loved the comeback. I loved the fact that Sir Alex subbed Vidic and Ferdinand off and took in the young players. Brilliant.

    • ..... says:

      And how many goals have United scored on their own dribbling skills in other matches United scores most of their goals on corners freekicks or through NANI, they dont dribble alot so pipe down and in this match one of the goals came from a freekick and the other one from someones mistake.GUYS STOP HATIN ON CITY. Am not hatin on unted am just makin a point.

      Dont hate appreciate :)

      • Yo. says:

        She never said that United scored most goals out of their own dribbling skills, so why try correcting something that was never said?

        And in my opinion, she didn't hate on City in her comment. She just corrected Kickette.

        • ..... says:

          how is she correcting kickette?? where in the text does it stand that city scored due to their dribbling skills?

          I was correcting something she said!!! and that was united scored ONE, only one of thier goals in this match by there passing skills!!! not even dribbling skills. AND city didnt score none of thier goals on thier dribbling skills.
          as i said i was makin a point, from her point!? if u know what i mean haha:P

          Don't throw bricks when you live in a glass house!

  8. Kate15 says:

    "Manchester City literally dominated the first half; their sheer size and speed outwitting a slumbering United"

    I must have been watching a different game to you because I did not see city dominate.

    • Amber says:

      I was thinking the same thing. I don't remember it quite like that.

    • ..... says:

      woooww….. you guys are hatin on City.. I dont like that, Kickette should be a place were no haters are allowed.
      and I´m a City fan, and United deserved to win and you guys won the freakin match, so I dont see the reason you and others have to talk down on City.. It actually makes me sad.

      • Sergz says:

        Her comment isn't hatred. It's the truth. We were all watching the same match and City never dominated it. Sure, they had their chances, but they never dominated it. I saw the game and I never saw them dominate, and all the newspapers and sport websites over here say the same. She's just correcting Kickette.

        • ..... says:

          but is the way she says it ,shes like talking down not correcting as much… just saying……….

  9. Lotte says:

    Wow, and wow! I'm all for Milan and Man U winning! Man U seems to be in a terrifying mood. Maybe Barcelona did the right thing beating them in the CL-final last season. If they continue like this they will be fearful to meet.

    And Zlatan should do something about his hair asap.

  10. Wow says:

    on Sunday and celebrated like this. Any idea what this is about, people? Drinking from the fountain of Goals perhaps? Spend the weekend watch ligue un and Mu city game. V. Happy they are all back to their old selves!

  11. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Oh, the brutal third rivalry is coming next week. I don't want too…:(!

    Congratulation United, but what a game! I love come-backs, this was the come back of the come-back. De gea got some brutal criticism over his slip, take it easy on him com'on first official game. I felt bad for
    Sneijder, but Milan won it fair and square.

    • Lotte says:

      I feel you Sarah, I don't want to either. I don't like the person I become during and after those games. And I also agree with you that they should play nice against De Gea. I'm sure he will prove himself. For god's sake he is trying to fill van der Saar's shoes!

    • Lotte says:

      I tried to answer you before Sarah, but Kickette wouldn't let me :) . I just wanted to say that I know how you feel, I'm not really looking forward to the game either. I don't like the person I become. May the best team win. :) And yes I agree, they sould cut De Gea some slack. His situation isn't easy.

  12. LindaTuga says:

    Same old United…and I love it!!! Comeback kings. The second goal was amazing,teamwork at its best.
    Regarding Man Of the Match Nani I can only say : Portuguese men do it better. Much better haha

  13. xoWinnie says:

    i think this post should be retitled;
    BREAKING NEWS: ANDY CARROLL SHAVES!

    good lord, he looks SO hot!
    i'm so happy that rabid animal on his face found a new habitat.

    WELCOME BACK HOT ANDY!

  14. Kez says:

    The first Man United goal was from Chris Smalling, not Danny Welbeck

  15. Tashinka says:

    Sigh. I was watching my home team (Sporting KC) get bested by the referee, and then the Seattle Sounders, to lose in the last few minutes of the game. So disappointing. :(

  16. Bri says:

    <3 Adil! I am so so so happy to have him in la liga.