September 17th, 2012

Weekend Results: Box Office Body Language

Basti’s feeling glad all over. Image: Alexander Hassenstein/Bongarts/Getty Images.

We’re not so much doing body language right now as exuding caffeine fumes and an air of menace. Luckily, our ‘baller boys are far more expressive with their appendages.



But you have to love me! I am Nandina, King of the Bottle Blond & Occasionally Excessive Highlights. Image: Julian Finney/Getty Images Europe.

Manchester United and Arsenal finally shook off their summer hangovers and addressed their goal differences, and not before time, given what happened last season. They beat Wigan 4-0 with goals from across the age spectrum, while Arsenal scored six with a little help from their opponents. They’re both creeping up on Chelsea, whose failure to beat QPR and a subsequent substitution prompted the most delightful of Spanish strops.

We’re glad to see you back, Nandina. We’ve missed you.

The pressure is on Manchester City, who dropped two points against Stoke City despite newbie Javi Garcia finding the net on debut. Liverpool’s Luis Suarez gave Reds supporters something to cheer about after an emotional week, scoring the equaliser in their game vs. Sunderland, while Andre Villas-Boas breathed again after Spurs picked up up their first three points of the season at Reading.

Everton meet Newcastle at Goodison tonight, so better make sure you confirm that pre-mix cocktail bulk order before 8pm BST. We have.


La Liga

We couldn’t have put it better ourselves, hon. Image: Denis Doyle/Getty Images Europe.

Should a man with such unintentionally hilarious taste in clothes be in a position to dictate the fortunes of one of the world’s biggest clubs? It’s a question that’s been bothering us off and on since he told us he had the sadz, and despite his manager’s protestations to the contrary, we can’t help but feel it *might* be contributing to Real’s peculiar run of form. They lost 1-0 to Sevilla, while Barcelona cheerily wiped the floor with Getafe while wearing their spangly beverage suits.

Atletico Madrid also suffered their own bout of the wobbles this weekend; they were 4-0 up against Rayo Vallecano until the 82nd minute, when super sub Andrija Delibasic scored two in five minutes. Leo brought the score up to 4-3 on ’89, but Rayo were unable to score the equaliser and Atletico just snatched it. We thought about requesting a comment from Chelsea, but figured that they, and Kickettes of a Blue persuasion would just accuse us of stirring, so we left it.


Serie A

We wondered if the bandaged hand was in any way connected to KPB’s previous ‘strain’. Sadly, it’s not. Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe.

The reason you are currently staring at Kevin-Prince Boateng’s thighs accompanied by little copy is because we haven’t got anything to say other than he’s still on our F5 list and he ain’t leaving anytime soon. He’s crushed because AC Milan lost 1-0 to Atalanta, putting them in unlucky thirteenth while title rivals Juventus are already top and rivals Inter beat Torino 2-0.

Under the circumstances, rolling about on his back and giving us a flash of those delightfully smooth thighs is about the best we can hope for.



The big story in the Bundesliga this weekend was the sacrifice of shirt sponsors across the league in favour of the message, ‘Go Your Way’. You can read about the campaign, which promotes inclusivity, here, but suffice to say it gladdens our heart to see ‘ballers using their influence in such a positive way.

It seemed to work for the big boys, too. Bayern Munich, Borussia Dortmund and Schalke all notched up comprehensive victories, although Freiburg earned a mention through their 5-3 win over Hoffenheim.

Augsberg drew and picked up their first point of the season. They are not in the relegation places, people! Make the most of it. This will last about a week, bless ‘em.


Ligue 1

We might not be experts, but figure this is Salif Sane asserting his dominance over Mathieu Valbuena. Which is hardly fair, give the latter’s diminutive stature. Image: Vicent Kessler/Reuters.

Last but not least we visit France, where PSG cruised to their second victory of the season and Carlo Ancelotti narrowly avoided getting chased through the Paris streets by a crowd of scarf waving malcontents. Marseille remain clear at the top after a 1-0 win over Nancy, with lovely Lyon hot on their tail after a 2-0 win over Ajaccio.


How was your weekend, Kickettes? Or is it safer not to ask?

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30 Responses to “Weekend Results: Box Office Body Language”

  1. Click here & watch more hot body language in German Bundesliga game. Like our video!

  2. Agnes Wonka says:

    I don't understand why RM is doing so bad… :(

  3. futbolfan says:

    Oh, but aside from everything, the Madrid boys really do look lovely in green!

  4. futbolfan says:

    Ok Madrid, this is getting ridiculous. We are not clicking and are obviously having issues creating chances. Ozil didn't effect the game, di Maria needed to be off, Pipa had an off day, so we obviously needed to bring a creator on. It doesn't really make sense to me to bring the brand new Modric onto a game where the team is really not clicking.
    So…hmmmm……HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF KAKA MOU!?! Because quite frankly, THE REST OF THE DANG WORLD HAS!!!!! He's only been training twice as much as needed, and that beautiful smile needs to be rewarded…please!

  5. Marina says:

    I've been at the Allianz Arena in Munich and got to see a nice game, a hot Javi Martinez stretching in front of me, and Mario Gomez sitting just like a few metres away from me. Sadly I didn't watch any other game of this weekend, but i think I've got a good excuse :)

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  7. Dr. Heidi says:

    Sergio can always run into my arms for consolation……although I hate to see RM losing like this, a little humility is never a bad thing. Confidence is good, arrogance is not.

  8. German_Girl says:

    Bayern and Dortmund did well. Spent the weekend with family (father is Dortmund fan, brother-in-law supports Bayern) and saw bits of both games. Couldn't watch any EPL games unfortunately. Glad to hear that Liverpool managed to pick up a point though – they deserve it after the week they've had. Maybe it's a sign of better times to come.

  9. Chef Di says:

    GREAT foto of Nandina and I especially loved the caption!

    I would love if Italian Kickettes would comment … I think the number 13 is LUCKY in Italy, and the number 17 is the unlucky number. For me, 13 is fabulous (except when it's the ranking for Milan :-( … because it was the jersey Sandro Nesta wore ….

    Thank you, yet again, for making my Monday so so happy!

  10. [...] here: Weekend Results: Box Office Body Language « … « EPL News – Silva signs new Man City contract | ø Soccer & Football … You [...]

  11. Kristina says:

    Well, Barcelona is winning without Iniesta, Alves, Alba or Alexis, and without paying their best. And with Messi starting on the bench. Lovely Daveed scoring. Tito's team are looking fine. Bring on the Champions!

    I note a lot of talks about handshakes in England. For once I didn't see one single EPL game. I blame the last breath of summer in Sweden. You just can't stay indoors when the sun is shining.

    And finally I'm happy for Sevilla. I know that the Madridistas here will think it's jus because the beat RM, but it's far from the truth. Well, not far but still. I've always had a soft spot for Sevilla and I think they played great! Their attack were deadly and Navas was magic! He looked on fire. They had a tough season last and I hope that they can pose a real threat to both RM and Barca.

    • Gladys says:

      The only thing that really killed me on Saturday, though, was watching poor Puyi on the pitch with his injury just cursing himself and his body for giving out once again. It was crushing!!! But amazingly, Barca pulled it off despite all those injuries. Thiago and Cesc were on fire, and with the forward trio of MVP back together again, everything feels like it's going to be alright.

      Regarding Sevilla, I'm going to make this about superficiality rather than rivalry and say what I've felt for some time…that Rakitic is frickin' adorable! I don't usually like blue-eyed blondes but he looks like he belongs in some sort of human category of Cute Overload. (OK, he's Croatian, so maybe I'm a little biased…but why not more pics of him?)

      The highlight game for me, though, was Atleti-Rayo. Glad ATM sneaked by because I want them in the CL next year, but boy did Rayo put up a truly respectable fight. Never give up. Never surrender. (Plus it's hard not to like a team that takes a day off training to protest with the Madrid occupiers.)

      • Kristina says:

        Seeing Puyi walking off shaking his head, was really heartbreaking! But Thiago was a sight for sore eyes wasn't he? In more than one way. I'm so happy he is doing so well after the injury. It does look good, but a lot can happen. You have to seize the day and enjoy it as long as you can :) .

        Rakitic is really cute, I agree, and it's totally ok to be biased. I am, all the time ;) . And regarding Rayo and the protest, I had no idea they did that, but I just fell in love!

        • Gladys says:

          Oh, Thiago. The boy is so lovely. With our other dreamboat, Afellay, off to Schalke (where I wish him well despite the sad farewell), I'd personally resigned myself to loving the team solely for their play. Then Thiago comes back on the pitch! Sigh.

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        Oh the Atleti-Rayo game was crazy, I was cheering for them to get the full come-back they just couldn't!
        There is Espanyol-Atheltic also game, I don't remember how many time this season so far where espanyol was winning by +1 goals, then they actually lose or draw in the second game, crazy game!
        Oh, barcelona definitely deserved to win, but Sarabia when he get in, he really changed the team, too bad Luis Gracia is letting him warm the bench, I feel like RM should buy him back.
        I actually felt bad for puyi, his age is catching up isn't? :(

  12. davinia says:

    Dear Nando… You were so bad against QPR, but I still love you honey! <3

    • Anna says:

      Wrong lineup in my opinion. Too defensive. The only creative player behind Torres was Hazard, Oscar on the bench. Meh.

  13. Miss_F says:

    Could it perhaps be that Seville played very well?!

    • gin_in_teacups says:

      Sevilla played extremely well, and I wouldn't want to take anything away from them. But Madrid, in my opinion, were not up to their usual standards. After the Sevilla goal went in, there were 89 minutes left to equalize or win, but it felt like they immediately got desperate and sloppy. Then you look at Iker, and yes one got past him, but then he spent the rest of the match like a beast stopping everything else that came near. The rest of the team, it felt like they conceded the entire match, not just a single goal, right in that first minute.

      • Miss_F says:

        It's true… It's like they just gave up amd that's not like them. I appreciate that we are only in week 4 but they need to get their game on! Maybe something's going on at the Real camp, hence Ronaldo saying he's sad etc…

        Also, was it me or did Iker look so tired?!?

        • gin_in_teacups says:

          I just keep hoping this motivates them for the Champions League. I'm like 30% terrified and 70% sure that they're going to get their s**t together and destroy tomorrow night.

          He did. It couldn't have been easy for him watching that mess, trying to calm Pipita, making up for the mistakes in defence etc. Being the Saint isn't easy work!

        • Katie Ann says:

          It wasn't just you- he looked wicked tired. I'm thinking that a lot of the players are run down. I mean, yes, they're pros and they have a bajillion people making sure they're in the best shape they can be in, but they play on a brutal schedule. I read an article before the Euros that said a lot of players were more fatigued than the medical folks liked at the start- forget at the end- and then RM was playing in the US just a few weeks later, and after that it was off to the races. It takes time to patch the cracks and get the body to adapt, but I have my fingers crossed that it won't be much longer for them.

        • Sarah, Madrid says:

          he just looked disappionted this wasn't a tired look more of I get to do all job for these guys again look

      • Kristina says:

        I think Mou was right, they weren't a team. He surely has something to work on there. Individually they were not bad, but they struggled isolated in some way. I don't know why that is, but as for the fatigue there are a lot of players out there that has every reason to be tired. Not only in Madrid. You would be a fool to count them out though.

  14. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Saturday game I honestly think it is just Sevilla played a better game than ours, they actually Mourinho-ed RM with their tactics, surprisingly managed to keep working like energy bunnies for 90 minutes, kudos to them! Higuain and Angel shouldn't have started, I don't know why they did sluggish shocking performance from them especially Higuain who everyone knows he is not like that.
    Anyway overall, sometimes club face series of bad performances, where they lose or don't perform add this to excellent Euro, excellent season before that for the RM players, it sometime just happens, doesn't have to be because of stupid theories or problems or Mourinho sucking or Cristano is sad or or or…
    It is just because it is RM and because RM creates alot of noise when anything happen to them, everyone will have opinion too and theory, as I said, it is just simply series of bad games, why can't be just this? why the drama!.
    Unrealistically clubs such these 2 clubs RM and Barca always have to perform @ top level or something terribly wrong is happening, our fans are part to blame, we are just used to winning all the time recently forgetting that it never was the case. Liga is still starting, what club gives up after 4 games and 102 points still for grab

    • gin_in_teacups says:

      We lost 2 last season and look what happened there. Turned out pretty well. We just got the two out of the way early to lull Barca into a false sense of security and so that it will be a better story when we win La Liga, get La Decima, and Cris is top scorer and Ballon d'Or winner. Yup. It's happening people.

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        I feel Cris deserve ballon d'or already for his past season, but anyway tomorrow game should be the game to set tune for decima after all we never lost opening game in ucl, last time we won UCL, real madrid started the season with almost the same result under del bosque? faith? maybe :P

  15. gin_in_teacups says:

    Madrid's match. So. That was a thing that happened. I don't know why it seemed so much worse than the loss to Getafe. Maybe because I thought they were finally sorted, but now I'm worried that this is going to set the tone for the whole season. Maybe because after sad-gate I really just wanted to see them play well and win. Now I'm just hoping that like with the Supercopa, this will kick their cute round butts into high gear for tomorrow.