April 23rd, 2012
Weekend Results: Chill. We Got This.
We know for a fact that interrupting a person’s jumpy claps can have terrible psychological consequences. Poor Mesut. UPDATED IMAGE & PHOTOSHOP CREDIT: Kick TV’s Ryan F’ing Bailey girls and boys.
Apparently, Cristiano has La Liga covered. Anyone else make such bold claims this weekend?
Apart from Mesut Ozil’s sale shopping bags, obviously.
Sergio Aguero was multitasking. Not only did he score one of the goals that put his side right back in the title race, but his marauding effectively relegated Wolves. Not a bad afternoon’s work. Image: Shaun Botterill/Getty Images.
In the past, a failure to challenge Manchester United’s grip on the EPL title has been more about a manager’s inability to out-think the Red’s famed gaffer vs. anything his players do on the pitch. But Everton’s astonishing comeback at Old Trafford yesterday, coupled with City’s easy 2-0 win over Wolves, has reduced United’s ‘unassailable’ eight point lead to a slightly more manageable three, with the decisive derby just a week away.
Speaking of coups, Roy Hodgson led West Brom to their first win at Anfield since 1967, and was applauded for his trouble by the Anfield faithful. Presumably because in the league at least, they haven’t had much to cheer about at home this season. Spur’s hopes of a Champion League spot took another knock with a 1-0 away defeat to QPR, although Arsenal and Chelsea did them a favour by playing out a relatively quiet 0-0 draw.
Wolves became the first side to confirm relegation to the Championship. Mick McCarthy hasn’t spoken yet, although everyone else has.
Real Madrid have one hand on the trophy. The other hand is currently full of Leo Messi’s shirt. Image: JOSEP LAGO/AFP/Getty Images.
We’ve been bitching about the post-match fallout from this most enormo of El Clasico games for weeks now, but even we were surprised at how effectively Madrid closed down the BestSideInTheWorld™. Cristiano’s celebration, after his match winning strike, said it all really. He thinks it’s in the bag. Do you?
In other La Liga news, Levante’s bid for Champions League football took another knock as they failed to beat Sevilla. They remain in fifth, but if Malaga beat Osasuna tonight, they will move five points clear of Levante and to within one of third place Valencia, who thrashed Betis 4-0 last night.
What’s Fabio Borini got? A beard. About as useful for Roma’s hopes of Champions League football next season as a 4-0 defeat to Juventus. Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images.
It’s safe to say that Zlatan Ibrahimovic is not the most popular person in the Bologna area this morning. The struggling side, whose flirtation with the relegation zone this season has bordered on the obsessive, were seconds away from three points when Zlats struck an equaliser. It’s crap news for Milan as well. Their title hopes rest on keeping up with Juventus and having beaten Roma 4-0 last night, the Bianconeri are three points clear with just five games to go.
Napoli kept next season’s European interest alive with a 2-0 victory over Novara, who should be packing their Serie A bags right now. They’re ten points off the pace in nineteenth position; the only side with a worse record being Cesena, who only just kept afloat this weekend with a 2-2 draw against Palermo.
Freiburg ‘keeper Oliver Baumann’s celebration was a little more muted than that of the rest of his team, but he was just as happy. Image: Stuart Franklin/Bongarts/Getty Images.
We’re dealing with the nudity that Borussia Dortmund’s title win prompted in a separate post. In the meantime, you’ll have to reserve your good cheer for Freiburg, whose 0-0 draw vs. Hannover was sufficient to see them secure top flight football for another season.
Bayern, who clearly had their mind on other matters, still managed a 2-1 win over Werder Bremen after Franck Ribery scored a last gasp winner. The success or failure of their season will now be decided at the Bernabeu on Wednesday.
We. Can’t. Wait.
They’re well out of the title race, but it’s good to see Bordeaux have got a solid grip on each other. For us, that’s almost as important. Image: REUTERS/Fabien Cottereau.
Despite a two point gap at the top, it’s tough to say whose holding the initiative with five games to go in Ligue 1. Montpellier lead PSG by two points after they beat Valenciennes by the relatively conservative margin of 1-0, but PSG look to be moving into a rich vein of form at just the right time. They beat strugglers Sochaux 6-1, closing the gap in goal difference between the two leaders to just one.
Meanwhile, Auxerre are about as close to the relegation quagmire as it’s possible to be without sinking. Their 1-0 defeat to Nice was compounded by the loss of two players to red cards, and with games against Montpellier and Marseille to come, we’re not optimistic.
Toronto FC have more fouls than points. Not ideal, really. Image: REUTERS/ Mike Cassese.
Toronto FC continued their impressive run of failures at the weekend with a sixth consecutive defeat to Chicago Fire, while Portland Timbers pulled off an astonishing 1-0 win over unbeaten Sporting Kansas City. Both remain in the positions their recent form deserves.
DC United swapped places with New York Red Bulls in the Eastern Conference after a 4-1 win inspired by a Chris Pontius hat-trick, but it was San Jose’s Chris Wondolowski who joined Thierry Henry in the top-scorer stakes. Both have eight for the season so far, having scored one in the Earthquakes’ 3-1 win over Real Salt Lake. Kyle Beckerman contributed a goal, while Fabian Espindola and Jamison Olave’s input was limited as they both got sent off.
See? We told you everything was under control Kickettes!