October 8th, 2012
Weekend Results: Crimes & Punishments
Image: Mike Hewitt/Getty Images Europe.
How can something so pure and lovely as a young player taking off his shirt in celebration be a crime, when there are other, far more frightening offences being committed on the pitch all the time?
Peruse the inconsistencies in refereeing standards across Europe with us, Kickettes.
Apparently, this isn’t a yellow card offence. In our opinion, it damn well should be. Image: Ian Horrocks/Getty Images.
To be fair to Cheik Tioté, he had good reason to be peed off. Defenders Johnny Evans and Patrice Evra had put Manchester United 2-0 up twenty minutes into their game at Newcastle, he’d witnessed another goal line technology baiting decision and despite Tom Cleverley’s breathless claims to the contrary, United’s third has been deemed a speculative cross at best. Newcastle are tenth while Manchester United are back up to second, level on points with City who capped their 3-0 win over Sunderland with a James Milner goal. He nearly meant that one too.
Chelsea remain top after handing Norwich a 4-1 drubbing to add to their growing collection of defeats, while Everton cling onto fourth despite dropping points at Wigan. Olivier Giroud took another step on the road to his beautiful adventure with a goal in Arsenal’s feisty 3-1 encounter with West Ham and AVB led Spurs to their fourth league win in a row with a 2-0 win over Aston Villa.
Those bracelets are obviously the Portuguese peach’s lucky charm.
Image: Jasper Juinen/Getty Images Europe.
There was nothing (apart from a little light pushing & shoving) between the big boys of La Liga last night, as El Clasico finished 2-2 with two goals each for Messi and Ronaldo. The league table is a different story though, with eight points between the current leaders Barca and the holders Madrid, who could really have used a win.
To add annoyance to the odour of unhappiness, insubordination and fake tan emanating from the Bernabeu, Atletico currently occupy the spot Real usually share with Barca at this stage of the season, with Roque Santa Cruz’ (we wondered where he’d gone) strike for Malaga countered by Falcao and then cancelled out by a Malaga own goal. We are assured by our Atletico supporting friends that they are by no means rubbing this fact in to their Los Blancos’ loving mates, but quite frankly, we know they’re lying.
At least sartorial laws are applied correctly in some European leagues. Image: ROBERTO SALOMONE/AFP/GettyImages.
Unusually, the Milan derby featured more cards than El Clasico (9 to 6, if you’re interested), but despite Yuto Nagatomo’s sending off on ’48 minutes, AC Milan still conspired to lose the game 1-0. Bragging rights are firmly with the blue half of the San Siro, with Inter hovering in fourth position and Milan in eleventh. Reports that Massimo Allegri has half an eye on his severance package do not require any exaggeration at this point.
Juventus and Napoli remain joint top on nineteen points after 2-1 wins over Siena and Udinese respectively while Marco Borriello’s joy at scoring the equaliser in Genoa’s 1-1 draw against Palermo was marred by team-mates vigorously rubbing his head and ruining his hairdo.
It’s yellow and in the air, isn’t it? Image: ODD ANDERSEN/AFP/GettyImages.
A 1-1 draw at Hannover puts Borussia Dortmund nine points behind Bayern Munich after seven games, which, while not insurmountable, is going to take one hell of an effort to overhaul. Franck Ribery scored two and could have had a couple more in Bayern’s 2-0 victory over Hoffenheim while Eintract Frankfurt remain in second, despite having their unbeaten record trashed by Borussia Monchengladbach.
Schalke are third after a 3-0 win over Wolfsburg, Freiburg beat Nurnberg by the same margin, but save your three-goal congratulations for Augsburg, who beat Werder Bremen 3-1 in their first win of the season and nearly escaped from the relegation zone.
Not quite though.
See above caption. Image: ANNE-CHRISTINE POUJOULAT/AFP/GettyImages.
We might be inept, hungover and well… trying to figure out how spending all our money on white wine and body shots this weekend ever seemed like a good idea, but we’re not too distracted to miss Zlatan’s post goal perkiness twice in a season. The big man’s efforts were in vain as PSG only managed a 2-2 draw with leaders Marseille, mostly thanks to Andre-Pierre Gignac, who scored two of his own in the top of the table clash.
St Etienne were 4-0 up inside half an hour against Nancy, whose record against everyone so far this season did not have people rushing to place bets on a second half comeback. Bottom placed Troyes, on the other hand, came close to a 2-2 draw against Bastia, and would have done so if it hadn’t been for that pesky last gasp strike by Toifilou Maoulida.
You might want to move that one from the ‘Unsolved’ file into the one marked ‘Totally Unlikely’.