April 16th, 2012
Weekend Results: Crossing The Line
This is moments away from becoming pornographic. Anyone got any further footage? We’ll pay. Image: AFP PHOTO/PATRIK STOLLARZ.
We’ve got no time for pleasantries, just straight up action for today, Kickettes.
Same as when we’re on a date.
The FA Cup – Semi Finals
Not a good time to pick up a hamstring injury, David. But on the plus side, we’re sure Eva will look after you. Image: AFP PHOTO / ADRIAN DENNIS.
Is Andy Carroll’s poor form actually a cunning ruse? Does the striker deliberately fluff chances to lull the opposition into a false sense of security? Is anything impossible in this batshit game of ours?
Everton might feel that way this morning after Pony Boy popped up in the penalty area and headed in the winner for Liverpool on 87 minutes. His side will face Chelsea in the Cup Final, but although the final score was a pretty comprehensive 5-1 thrashing of Spurs, there was still plenty of controversy.
Just get the damn goal line technology, would you? If only so everyone can stop waffling on about it.
Image: REUTERS/Nigel Roddis.
Which brings us neatly to Ashley Young’s ‘penalty appeal‘. It would be wrong of us to cover the controversy of one issue without giving due attention to the other, so we’re going to retreat to our default position of referencing but largely ignoring both. Regardless of how he got there, Ash hit the deck (again) and was awarded a penalty. Manchester United went on to win the game 4-0, restoring a five point lead at the top of the table and leaving Villa perilously close to the relegation zone. Unsurprisingly, they’re not happy.
Manchester City, on the other hand, are looking a little perkier this morning. A few months on the golf course has obviously cheered Carlos Tevez up no end and he scored a hat-trick in City’s 6-1 tonking of Norwich. Now speculation is rife that the Argentinian will be the player to rekindle City’s title aspirations. Would Fergie explode?
Fair means or foul? We’re opting for the former. It isn’t as though world will be surprised to learn we’re dirty leches, is it? Image: AP Photo/Alberto Saiz.
A win for Barcelona in El Clasico on Saturday will take the champions to within a point of Real Madrid, after the top two beat Levante 2-1 and Sporting Gijon 3-1 respectively. Please note that the proximity of That Game™ might lead to Kickette staffers pretending Spanish football doesn’t exist this week.
Gijon’s defeat only compounded their relegation woes – they are now nineteenth in the table – and it didn’t help that fellow strugglers Real Zaragoza beat Granada 1-0. They’re still in all kinds of trouble, but at this stage of the season anything is possible, right?
Espanyol probably feel like that. They beat third placed Valencia 4-0 and join the crowd of teams on 45 points in La Liga. Villarreal have to refer back to last season for those heady heights though, their run of poor form has seen them drop to sixteenth place and a 1-1 draw vs. Racing Santander on Sunday was scant comfort.
Image: AP Photo/Federico Bernini, LaPresse.
Borussia Monchengladbach beat Cologne 3-0 and are mere moments away from securing a Champions League spot. Does this warrant a rerun of Dino Drpic and Nives Celsius centre circle shenanigans? Apparently, it does.
Cologne remain in deep do-do, but are still gasping for air. Unlike Kaiserslautern, who, at nine points adrift at the bottom after a 2-0 home defeat to Nuremburg, are down but for the shouting. Nuremburg are now more or less safe from automatic relegation, but it could yet go either way for Hertha Berlin who drew 3-3 at Bayer Leverkusen.
Well, hello there Anthony (c). Image: REUTERS/Robert Pratta.
Anyone remember Anthony Le Tallec? His dodgy hair and ‘French gem’ status ensured that his indifferent form remained in the memories of Liverpool fans for longer than was probably fair, but it’s possible his contribution could be decisive in the Ligue 1 title race this season. Le Tallec, who has manned up significantly since the last time we saw him, scored an 86th minute equaliser for Auxerre in their game vs. PSG this weekend.
PSG are currently engaged in a ‘to the wire’ contest with Montpellier for the title, and a win would’ve seen them draw level on points with their rivals. Their 1-1 draw, coupled with Montpellier’s shock defeat to Lorient leaves us in an ‘as you were’ scenario. Thankfully. We can’t cope with anything more complicated right now.
David Beckham. Never write off a man with skill sets like this. Image: Stephen Dunn/Getty Images.
Daddy Cool scored in LA Galaxy’s second win of the season on Saturday – a 3-1 victory over Portland Timbers. The Timbers drop to the foot of the Western Conference, swapping places with the Galaxy who now have six points.
Kansas City’s insane start to the season continued: their 1-0 win over Real Salt Lake was their sixth and they have yet to drop a single point. They are now eight clear of nearest rivals New York Red Bulls, who drew 2-2 with San Jose Earthquakes.
Everyone is doing better than Toronto FC though, whose 1-0 defeat to Chivas gave them five in a row. That’s right, Canadian Kickettes, their points tally for the season so far is a big fat zero. Our spies tell us that this isn’t the only sporting debacle to be witnessed in the area.
Care to comment?
It’s okay. We understand if you don’t want to.