March 28th, 2011
Weekend Results: Euro 2012 Qualifiers
We chose this image as our lead because Yoann scored a goal. Okay? Image: FRANCK FIFE/AFP/Getty Image/Daylife.
Overcoming our lethargy towards the international fixtures was a strain for us this weekend. We’re really enjoying the jostling for position at the top and bottom of the European Leagues and for us, this whole Euro 2012 Qualifier shebang couldn’t have come at a worse time.
However, we cheered ourselves up by donning national costume for the Kickette Drinking Weekender (leave your handbag, iPhone and left shoe at the door, please) and can now report that a good time is assured for anyone brave enough to enter a pub whilst wearing lederhosen, a pair of clogs, a kilt and an outsize football jersey.
However, we would like to take this opportunity to ask the member of the Kickette staff responsible for putting a fresh Scottish haggis in the office microwave to come forward. It’s not clever and the result is that interns will be scraping unidentified ‘matter’ from the walls for some time to come.
As you were.
Germany 4-0 Kazakhstan
An inappropriate time for playground games, perhaps, but at 4-0 up they could probably afford it. Image: Getty Images/Daylife.
Two goals each from Miroslav Klose and ‘tent-meister’ Thomas Mueller ensured that Germany comfortably maintained their lead at the top of the Group A table this weekend. With five games played so far, Joachim Loew’s boys have scored seventeen goals and only conceded one, which suggests they have no intention of allowing themselves to be pipped at the post for a place in the final of the tourney next year.
Image: JOHANNES EISELE/AFP/Getty Images/Daylife.
Although a great qualifying campaign doesn’t necessarily equal a great display in competition (England’s World Cup, anyone?) the ease with which these boys are scoring, passing and creating chances suggests they will be one’s to watch next year. Exciting!
Wales 0-2 England
We have glimpsed the future. And it’s hawt. Reuters/Daylife.
The ‘hot thighs’ quotient from this fixture took a serious hit last week when it was announced that Gareth Bale would not be playing due to an as yet unclaimed hamstring strain. Luckily, Aaron Ramsey and Jack Wilshire (above) shouldered most of the burden, with Scott Parker (left) making a sterling contribution from midfield. He played pretty well, too.
Image: Getty Images/Daylife.
Let us fend of accusations of facetious reporting early. After Frank Lampard scored the opener from the penalty spot, and Darren Bent had smashed in a second from a lovely move started by Glen Johnson, the possibility of some thigh/abs/tent action was considerably higher than a Wales comeback. Gary Speed’s men missed their talisman and though captain Ramsey worked hard in the midfield, they hardly looked like scoring.
On the plus side, Craig Bellamy managed to avoid a red card offence (he picked up a yellow, but you can’t expect miracles) but any notion of respect between the fans was killed early by enthusiastic booing of both national anthems.
You think we were right to focus on the pretty? Did you?
Luxembourg 0-2 France
Samir Nasri twins red with orange in a terrible rookie fashion mistake. Luckily, his legs are sufficiently distracting, but we’ll be watching carefully for future colour contraventions, Sami. You have been warned. Image: FRANCK FIFE/AFP/Getty Images/Daylife.
Speaking of said ‘pretty’, look the hell at that (Yoann Gourcuff, top). If you can overlook the atrocity of Philippe Mexes’ ‘escaped piggy’ affront to hair, (we suggest placing a hand/piece of paper/ muffin over one’s left eye) we’re convinced you will never have to leave the house again, such is Lashes’ bewitching power.
As for the game, France beat Luxembourg by two goals that were scored by the aforementioned Gourcuff and Mexes. We’re figuring that you’re not even reading this now and are in the process of flooding your keyboard with drool, so won’t bother with any further detail, suffice to say that France now top Group D.
You have ten minutes, then you have to come back. M’kay?
Spain 2-1 Czech Republic
A variation on the traditional ‘bitchface’ look for Daveeeeeed. We can now look forward to to seeing this expression replicated on football pitches across the globe. Image: Jorge Guerrero/AFP/Getty Images/Daylife.
Unsurprisingly, the current World and European champs find themselves six points clear at the top of their qualifying group, with four wins from four games and a plus eight goal difference. Both goals for Spain came from David Villa (above) who overtook Raul to become his country’s top goalscorer with forty-six.
However, the game wasn’t a complete walkover for La Roja, who conceded early in the game and were behind for the majority of play. Fernando Torres put in an appearance but was unable to put an end to the goal drought plaguing him at the moment. On the plus side, his perky little tent (above left) did show up, so the game wasn’t a total washout for the Chelsea man.
A proper results round up can be found here.