March 28th, 2011

Weekend Results: Euro 2012 Qualifiers

We  chose this image as our lead because Yoann scored a goal. Okay? Image: FRANCK FIFE/AFP/Getty Image/Daylife.

Overcoming our lethargy towards the international fixtures was a strain for us this weekend. We’re really enjoying the jostling for position at the top and bottom of the European Leagues and for us, this whole Euro 2012 Qualifier shebang couldn’t have come at a worse time.

However, we cheered ourselves up by donning national costume for the Kickette Drinking Weekender (leave your handbag, iPhone and left shoe at the door, please) and can now report that a good time is assured for anyone brave enough to enter a pub whilst wearing lederhosen, a pair of clogs, a kilt and an outsize football jersey.

However, we would like to take this opportunity to ask the member of the Kickette staff responsible for putting a fresh Scottish haggis in the office microwave to come forward. It’s not clever and the result is that interns will be scraping unidentified ‘matter’ from the walls for some time to come.

As you were.

Germany 4-0 Kazakhstan

An inappropriate time for playground games, perhaps, but at 4-0 up they could probably afford it. Image: Getty Images/Daylife.

Two goals each from Miroslav Klose and ‘tent-meister’ Thomas Mueller ensured that Germany comfortably maintained their lead at the top of the Group A table this weekend. With five games played so far, Joachim Loew’s boys have scored seventeen goals and only conceded one, which suggests they have no intention of allowing themselves to be pipped at the post for a place in the final of the tourney next year.

Image: JOHANNES EISELE/AFP/Getty Images/Daylife.

Although a great qualifying campaign doesn’t necessarily equal a great display in competition (England’s World Cup, anyone?) the ease with which these boys are scoring, passing and creating chances suggests they will be one’s to watch next year. Exciting!


Wales 0-2 England

We have glimpsed the future. And it’s hawt. Reuters/Daylife.

The ‘hot thighs’ quotient from this fixture took a serious hit last week when it was announced that Gareth Bale would not be playing due to an as yet unclaimed hamstring strain. Luckily, Aaron Ramsey and Jack Wilshire (above) shouldered most of the burden, with Scott Parker (left) making a sterling contribution from midfield. He played pretty well, too.

Image: Getty Images/Daylife.

Let us fend of accusations of facetious reporting early. After Frank Lampard scored the opener from the penalty spot, and  Darren Bent had smashed in a second from a lovely move started by Glen Johnson, the possibility of some thigh/abs/tent action was considerably higher than a Wales comeback. Gary Speed’s men missed their talisman and though captain Ramsey worked hard in the midfield, they hardly looked like scoring.

On the plus side, Craig Bellamy managed to avoid a red card offence (he picked up a yellow, but you can’t expect miracles) but any notion of respect between the fans was killed early by enthusiastic booing of both national anthems.

You think we were right to focus on the pretty? Did you?


Luxembourg 0-2 France

Samir Nasri twins red with orange in a terrible rookie fashion mistake. Luckily, his legs are sufficiently distracting, but we’ll be watching carefully for future colour contraventions, Sami. You have been warned. Image: FRANCK FIFE/AFP/Getty Images/Daylife.

Speaking of said ‘pretty’, look the hell at that (Yoann Gourcuff, top). If you can overlook the atrocity of Philippe Mexes’ ‘escaped piggy’ affront to hair, (we suggest placing a hand/piece of paper/ muffin over one’s left eye) we’re convinced you will never have to leave the house again, such is Lashes’ bewitching power.

As for the game, France beat Luxembourg by two goals that were scored by the aforementioned Gourcuff and Mexes. We’re figuring that you’re not even reading this now and are in the process of flooding your keyboard with drool, so won’t bother with any further detail, suffice to say that France now top Group D.

You have ten minutes, then you have to come back. M’kay?


Spain 2-1 Czech Republic

A variation on the traditional ‘bitchface’ look for Daveeeeeed. We can now look forward to to seeing this expression replicated on football pitches across the globe. Image: Jorge Guerrero/AFP/Getty Images/Daylife.

Unsurprisingly, the current World and European champs find themselves six points clear at the top of their qualifying group, with four wins from four games and a plus eight goal difference. Both goals for Spain came from David Villa (above) who overtook Raul to become his country’s top goalscorer with forty-six.

Image: Reuters/Daylife.

However, the game wasn’t a complete walkover for La Roja, who conceded early in the game and were behind for the majority of play. Fernando Torres put in an appearance but was unable to put an end to the goal drought plaguing him at the moment. On the plus side, his perky little tent (above left) did show up, so the game wasn’t a total washout for the Chelsea man.


A proper results round up can be found here.

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62 Responses to “Weekend Results: Euro 2012 Qualifiers”

  1. kanitaadriana says:

    we need more yoann in kickette!

  2. C16 says:

    Damn you Yoann Gourcuff… Why you so perfect???!!! I love you.

  3. BlackRose says:

    I'm only here for Le Yoann.

  4. xbabyshakesx says:

    My heart flutter to see so many Gunners leading their country =]
    but I was taken away by Lahm… Oh Lahm the things you make me do

  5. Winnie Mata says:

    i am honestly going to start watching England qualifiers.
    and get some perverse type of pleasure from watching them when i do
    (since i am not an England supporter in the least–
    especially since the heated Portugal rivalry of the last few years)
    they are just ssssoooo effin hawwtttt!
    Carroll = unf!
    Wilkshere = UNF!
    (stop me now, i can go on forever)
    i'd love to watch Wales too (Ramsey and Bale–HULLO!)

    and as for Yoann–OH HOT DAYUM!
    seriously…this picture has made my week.
    thank you, Kickette.

  6. Saucy Aussie says:


  7. Soon2beWifeOfNAsri says:

    It seemed i died and gone to BALLER heaven, because i have never seen soo many sexy players playing over the course of 3 days than I have this past weekend. Let's just say my 'rewind' and 'pause' buttons on my remote have officially worn out. Sweet Jesus take the wheel because there are no words that would do justice on the fione specimen also known as Gourcuff. Seriously how can one man be soo damn fine! he should come with a health warning; symptoms include quicker heartbeat, excessive sweating in places you did not know u could do (lol jst kiddin guys) irregular heartbeats and shortness of breath =) if any symptoms do match you have the case of Gourcuffitis if left untreated you could fall in love with a beautiful french man.

    Let me not get started with my boo boo Nasri *swoon* he was gorgeous as ever and was made captain booyah and a special mention to RVP, Ramsey, Marouane.

    There were too many hotties about but if i named them all it would take me forever to type em up ;)

    Nasri, Ramsey and Chamakh.

  8. @DebStimson says:

    fantastic game wasn't it. I was getting a bit annoyed by the commentators oozing over Argentina; how they were so Barca like with their play, blah, blah, blah. I mean seriously, just because Messi plays for Barca doesn't mean that his national team mirrors Barca. In truth, I don't think they've seen many Barca games or they wouldn't have made that comment. They thought for sure Argentina were going to win, even after the US equalized.

    Well done to Agudelo & Chandler who had a great imact on the game after they came on. And Timmy…MOTM imo. And…the US frustrated Messi yet again. His scoreless streak against he US continues.

    And the next friendly…Spain. :o Now during that game the commentators can talk all they want about how Spain plays like Barca.

    • Elisa says:

      The combination of Tim Howard and the five (literally) US players that swarmed around Messi every time he entered the box certainly isn't help him.

      Yeah, I rewatched the game and the commentators were annoying me too. I know that Argentina is a better, higher ranked, and more skilled national team. You don't have to mention it every time one of them has the ball (which was basically the entire first half).

      But, I suppose, the USMNT is pretty used to being underestimated. It makes our successes that much sweeter :)

  9. moni says:

    Yoann is good, but Samir Nasri is the best! <3 I absolutely adore him!

  10. Cymraeg_Ddraig says:

    Gutted we (Wales) lost but I was expecting it and can take a lot of positives from the second half. Also, its always good to know how much England would love Ramsey and Bale to be English……

    Lovely picture of Yoann….va va voom indeed.

  11. Cait says:

    Okay, so I am crazy in love with Yoann. I don't think I have ever seen such a bewitching and beautiful piece of manly manliness ever! I think I need to take a cold shower. AND is it just me or has our England lads gotten a bit sexier recently? Must be the younger call ups. I was actually proud of my England squad for once. wow. Oooo and Aaron Ramsey?! OBSESSED! He is a month younger than myself. Now, I hate Arsenal (Spurs supporter/super fan till I die) so even though he's sexy as hell, my duty is to my team! I am praying on all things good and holy that Incredibale will be back for UEFA duty for us Spurs to terminate Real Madrid. Rumour has it that Ronaldo may miss b/c of an injury. Hallelujah! Not only that, but he's a douche bag. (My level of distaste for Ronaldo is ridiculous). Any who, Ramsey and Gourcuff..FIT! Even Andy Carroll is a looker. He's a bit to psycho for my taste. Okay, crazy ramblings over. COME ON ENGLAND, AND COYS, COYS, COYS!!! ")

  12. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Spain game was really intense, I didnt like the boys much, the chances was not been created specailly the first half. I love that Villa scored, dont get me wrong, LOVE IT for the 3 crucial points, but my heart broke a little tiny bit for Raul, he broke his record :( , but congrats Villa anyway well-deserved ;) .

    Another intense game was Argentina vs US, was such a beautiful game, Messi, Banega and boys were amazing, then the second half US grapped the game again, it was kind of friendly you regrett missing, at least for me. lol

  13. mochara says:

    Oooh Yoann why can't you be mine? Oh I remember, cos you're just perfect in every way possible…. *sighs*

  14. caquark says:

    Yea right, you think you can hoodwink us with that caption?! We all know you promote the male form in ALL its physical glory ;) Thank you for a GLORIOUS Monday morning….

  15. Sophia says:

    Mmm..Ramsey is yummy…Also, loving France's new kit. I watched the game just to see Gourcuff and Nasri..wasn't dissapointed

  16. dontaskmetosmile says:

    When I saw that picture of Yoann, I actually yelled "OMIGOD". Such is the bewitching powers of the Lashes, indeed.

  17. JA7 says:

    Yoan, wilshere, nasri, ramsey, DAVEEED VILLA!!! Wooowww hotness flippen overloaaaaaddd! Congratz to daveeed becoming spains all time leading goal scorer! :D hoooweverr im upset that morocco lost agaisnt algeria :( poor marouane!

  18. Bri says:

    The best part of the weekend for me was the fact that Meireles got to wear the captain's band for Portugal. I was absolutely thrilled and think he makes a phenomenal captain.

    The second best part of the weekend was David Villa and Pepe Reina's epic cuddlefest on the sidelines after Villa scored and broke Raul's record.

    The third best part of the weekend was Lashes. That shot you ladies found is AMAZING. Smolder smolder….

  19. im trying hard to make it as a dancer but im in school at the moment studying math as a back up. I also like Chelsea Handler!

  20. Leá says:

    I was so pleased for El Guaje, even though I hate to see Raul surpassed. If it had to be someone, I'm glad it's David. On the other hand, I was really hoping that Nando would come alive in this game, and bust through his slump. I found a new level of respect for Andres Iniesta when he stuck up for Nando. It made me glad to see his compatriotas show some faith in him.

    • @DebStimson says:

      Where can I find Iniesta sticking up for Nando. I haven't seen that yet. But really, would we expect any less from Iniesta?

      As much as I wish the same for Fernando I did feel badly for Llorente though. He's had such a great year in La Liga and even for the national team. But the pic of Fernando on the bench in Una's ICYMI (under "Two") ? OMG! The BEST pout ever!…

  21. lorena_yGp says:

    In a tense moment after the game ( France vs Luxembourg ) when Yoann started taking his sweaty,tight shirt…IN THAT moment camera turn to RIBERY!!!!! I was like " you fuc&%ng bastard" :-) ))) but thankfully I have Kickette"s to fix every problem a girl can have :-) ))

    • lorena_yGp says:

      Ohh and excellent results in my opinion-
      1)France won + Yoann scored
      2) Spain won!!! El Guaje finally scored his 45< goal and his moment with Reina was priceless!!!

    • sheila says:

      I was also quite dismayed by said camera switch. Who ever flipped the switch in the production booth should be fired. I WANT NAMES, ESPN!!! It obviously wasn't the same director who gave us the Felipe Luis full moon a week before…

    • @DebStimson says:

      "I was like " you fuc&%ng bastard" :-) ))) " lol I really think they need more women camera people. Any volunteers?

    • Winnie Mata says:


  22. Leya_S says:

    Yoann Gourcuff, why do you tempt me so?

    Arsenal REPRESENT!!!! Good job from all our boys away on international duty. Btw, that pic of Jack and Aaron is perfect!
    On a more depressing (read: infuriating) note, my freaking CABLE/INTERNET WENT OUT JUST BEFORE ENGLAND VS. WALES!!! What the sh** is that?!? Thanks Verizon. So I missed it. It was back in time (of course) to see USA vs. Argentina friendly, though, in which Timmy Howard was droolworthily amazing.

    Spain vs. CR was crazy. SNT down 1-0 in the first half. But in the second half, I never even saw San Iker's lovely face bc they played the entire half all the way up on the Czechs' end. Congrats to David Villa who passed Raul's record in like 30 less games, wooo!!! Jesus Navas was all sorts of brill on there. Also, there's still a place in my heart FT9, buuuuuuuuuut….I really wanted to see Fernando Llorente play, bc…well, fill in your own reason, there are so many. Lastly, I found out there's gonna be a Spain vs. USA international friendly on June 4th in Foxborough, Mass. Just thought I'd mention it.

    /end rant.

    • Bri says:

      I am so excited about the USA Spain friendly. SO THERE. =D Want to come with me and bring a big van so we can kidnap some Spanish boys for research purposes? I mean…go watch the game and be on our best behavior….

      • Leya_S says:

        Let's do it!
        But seriously, how can you meet players? I see ppl with pics and blogs and stuff all the time like "Oh I met the players from this and that team" and I'm just like "can that be me, please?"

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      hahaha! You know in Spain game, in the second half whenever the ball reached Iker and Ramos would jump and take the ball, I was like Sergio let man pass the ball and let's the ladies see Iker! I was pissed for the second 45 minutes no Iker, com'on!

      Kidding ^_^, it always good not to see your team GK, but Iker he has to have his own cam because we dont see the guy much, you know!

    • Crackers says:

      Spain v. CR….now I'm REALLY feeling Fern's pain, not least because I want him to score for a team that I actually do support! Many congratulations to David Villa though, even if I'm a tiny bit sad that Raúl's record is now beaten :(

      And mmmm, Lashes. He looks SO good in the new France kit, but even better out of it.

  23. athenarena says:

    Still not surprised Ireland was not mentioned.
    Well done lads on playing like you wanted the three points last night. Shame I could not be there. (Still have not been in the new Lansdowne Stadium, odd) Doyle, what a night for you my poor lad. You score your first international goal in 38 games and then you damage your knew ligaments. I send you a big huge and fat free chocolate. :) . Keane, well done! You have now the record holder for the most caps for an Irish captain.
    I am so proud of my boys in Green. You show everytime you win, that is underdogs can do and will do it. Technically, Ireland is top of the group with goal difference. You better keep that up boys!

    All the best,

  24. Summer says:

    Love England, love JT, love NASRIIIIIIIIIIIIII, love RAMSEY!!!!!!!!!

  25. Jen says:

    I loved when Villa went over to the sidelines to hug Pepe! Warmed my warm(and other things!)

  26. Marie says:

    Congrats to Villa and also to Xavi for the incredible century of games played for Spain!!!!!

  27. lila says:

    And once again I must ask : Why the hell you took Yoann of the FF?

  28. D0li says:

    Did Portugal play yet? There is great debate whether or not Cristiano Ronaldo will be playing since he's injured. Some are speculating that he is only pretending to be injured so as to train for Real Madrid's UEFA matches. That doesn't make much sense to me, because if Mourino was saving the best players to be fit for the games, why hasn't he saved any defenders? Sergio Ramos is playing for Spain, Di Maria (I think) Is playing for Argentina, and Ozil is playing for Germany.

    • Bri says:

      Portugal tied with Chile 1-1. Ronnie didn't see any playing time, Quaresma did though. It was a decent turnout. Not amazing, but definitely not bad. I think Bento is doing well with the squad.

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      Well, Ronaldo injury time came in very good time for Real Madrid, some may debate that Mourinho pushed him in the derby although he didnt look very good in the second half, delayed his subbing – if he did that, which I doubt because he may put him in bigger risk and the whole thing would back-fire at him and Jose is not stupid, I would excuse him because he didnt take Ronaldo away from an important game, it is just friendlies, he may risk his player into a serious injury for nothing.

      and There is this a debate about the international break, how would it effect players such as a long travel for Argentina to US, effecting players performance for example: Messi with Barcelona, there is something called FIFA virus for a reason, you know.
      Yes, Angel played for Argentina :)

    • @DebStimson says:

      Don't forget about Sami (Germany), Pepe & Carvalho (Portugal), Arbeloa & Iker (Spain) & Benzema (France).

      The speculation about Ronaldo not playing other than due to injury is rubbish. Cris was hurt and missed games B4 the national break.

      • Sarah, madrid says:

        That's what make the whole thing unbelievable, Angel is travelling to US, he didnt "pretend" to have an injury. However, we should be used to it now lol, a media thing.

  29. Elisa says:

    Aaron Ramsey versus Jack Wilshere nearly killed me (not a follower of either country, so I was free to judge the match solely on appearance merits). Sad for Wales, but Wilshere had a really great game.

    And not a Euro qualifier (however still with PLENTY of attractive men), but the USMNT tied Argentina 1-1 this Saturday in a crazy amazing game.

    • eve says:

      I also think that the friendly between USA and Argentina this weekend was the most intense and beautifull game I watched in a long time.

  30. Lotte says:

    I didn't see the majority of the games simply because they don't show them on any Swedish network, but I did see the Spain – Czech game on live stream. So happy for recordbreaking Villa and for Xavi playing his 100th game for the NT! The Spanish NT is just one big, lovely goodybag of loveliness!

    Tomorrow the turn has come to my Sweet Swedes. I'm already biting my nails.

  31. Alia says:

    I saw the first pic and was unable to read so i just came down here to comment sand say "HOW YOU DOIINN YOANN?"

  32. Diavolina says:

    Italy won too!

  33. IrishBlue says:

    That gorgeous man in my profile picture is injured…..for the rest of the season…..gutted. It's at times like these I wish I was the 'official knee rubber person' for Wolves, sigh…:( I notice the lack of a mention for the boys in green? We beat Macedonia 2-1 I'll have you know, joint top of Group B :) :) still gutted about Doyle though, boo.

  34. Thea says:

    Yoann is just tooooooooooooooooo perfect! Gutted I missed the match, the goal and him without a shirt on! Working the whole weekend and they not shoing the games in OZ – URGH!!!!!

  35. Miss XOXO says:

    Yoann Gourcuff still look good with the tired face…