December 19th, 2011

Weekend Results: Forward Or Backward?

Schalke’s Kyriakos Papadopoulos. Recently identified as a player that 4 out of 6 Kickette staff members wouldn’t mind seeing (naked) in their stocking. The other two claim his tongue looks weird. Image: AFP PHOTO / PATRIK STOLLARZ.

‘Tis the season of miracles, and a time to take stock of all the things in life you should be grateful for.

Let’s start you off, shall we? Every single post we manage to put up on this website this week will be a miracle. Trust us and be grateful.


Look, Kickettes! Here’s another job in which close, uninterrupted access to players is actively encouraged. Although the outfit is a bit off-putting, admittedly. We’d have to negotiate on that. Image: AP Photo/Alastair Grant.

Sunday was a festive football extravaganza in the EPL, with five of the top six clubs in action. Indeed, things were so festive that our UK correspondent failed to crawl out from beneath her desk before QPR’s ludicrously early midday kick-off vs. Manchester United and subsequently missed Wayne Rooney’s first goal. Luckily, her caffeine drip had kicked in by the time Michael Carrick scored the second, decisive goal that propelled United to the top of the table.

Their visit to the heady heights was so brief, we don’t blame you if you missed it too. Manchester City beat Arsenal 1-0 and reclaimed what is fast becoming their default position in the league. Arsenal now share fifth spot with Liverpool, who beat an off-colour Aston Villa team 2-0 via early goals from Craig Bellamy and Martin Skrtl. Chelsea are still in fourth after a surprising 1-1 draw against Wigan on Saturday.

Other scores that day included Fulham compounding Bolton’s woes with a 2-0 home win, Blackburn losing yet another home game, this time to West Brom, and Spurs ending Sunderland’s one game winning streak under Martin O’Neill  by beating them 1-0.


La Liga

Real Madrid put on a superb display of shelf-booty football in Sevilla on Saturday. Image: CRISTINA QUICLER/AFP/Getty Images.

With Barcelona in Yokahama for the FIFA World Club World Cup, Real Madrid had the opportunity to regain their three point lead at the top of La Liga. They did so in style, a 6-2 away win vs. Sevilla coming via three goals from Cristiano Ronaldo and one each for Jose Callejon, Angel Di Maria and Lassana Diarra.

Valencia’s 2-0 win over Malaga kept them in the running for third place, but last week’s defeat to Real Betis has cost them dearly – they are now four points behind the top two. Fortunately for them, Levante’s 2-1 loss to Granada ensured that Juan Ignacio Martínez’ men remain even further behind – eleven points off the ridiculous pace set by Real Madrid.


Serie A

As did Antonio Nocerino, although his display required a little assistance from ‘keeper Marco Amelia. Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images.

AC Milan’s grip on the top spot was far more tenuous than that of their Spanish counterparts. They reached the lofty heights on Saturday afternoon after a 2-0 win over Siena, then were shoved back into second when Juventus beat Novara by the same scoreline.

Napoli’s great run came to an unexpectedly abrupt end at the hands of AS Roma who beat Chelsea’s Champions League opponents 3-1 on their home turf. The battle for next season’s CL spots paused temporarily with Udinese and Lazio canceling each other out in a 2-2 draw – they are third and fourth respectively.

Meanwhile, Inter grabbed a vital three points away at struggling Cesena. They have lifted themselves from tenth this time last week to fifth today with that result, and ten points off the lead. Still time to forge an epic comeback, Kickettes?



Meanwhile, in the Bundesliga, Toni Kroos used a more ‘forward-thinking’ approach for Bayern’s game vs. Cologne. Image: CHRISTOF STACHE/AFP/Getty Images.

Bayern Munich are still top of the Bundesliga after a solid 3-0 victory over Cologne on Friday. Competition is pretty stiff in the league this year, and last year’s champions Borussia Dortmund aren’t going to give up the trophy that easily – their game vs. SC Freiburg ended 4-1 and put them within three points of their rivals.

However, a 5-0 drubbing by Schalke (including a hat-trick by Raul) on Werder Bremen put the former level on points with Dortmund and the latter in fifth. Borussia Monchengladbach are just above them in fourth, having beaten Mainz 1-0.

It’s going to be a ‘competitive’ second half to the season, don’t cha’ think?


Ligue 1

A move also tried by Paris St Germain’s Salvatore Sirigu, with able assistance from Lille’s Moussa Sow. Image: REUTERS/Gonzalo Fuentes.

Although perhaps not quite as competitive as the second half of the French top tier season. A draw for Montpellier vs. Toulouse was not helpful to the top team’s cause; they’re clinging on to the top spot by goal difference alone after Paris St Germain’s goal-less draw against Lille. Lille are now two points off PSG in third, ahead (on goal diff again) of Lyon who beat Evian Thonon Gaillar 2-1.

At the other end, Nice’s 2-0 victory over Valenciennes did little but lift them above their opponents, but, you guessed it, only on goal difference. AJ Ajaccio can only dream of reaching the heady heights of seventeen points though. They picked up a precious three points against Rennes, but it was only their second win of the season, so they are still on twelve points.

At least they’ve broken into double figures though!


Did you see any of the games? Reports from the twilight zone of Hangover City are acceptable at this time.

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14 Responses to “Weekend Results: Forward Or Backward?”

  1. Milanista says:

    Nocerino <3

  2. littlegreenpea says:

    guess what!! erik lamela scored for Roma!! I'm only excited because that was the only game I saw this weekend. But it was obviously worth watching. ;)

  3. Agnes Wonka says:

    I love to see RM doing so well!
    damn! CR has a great bottom! I thought the best bottom in that team was Karim's

  4. earidurt says:

    look at sergio and cristiano's ass! *droooooooool ….. footballers have such amazing bodies. *fans herself.

  5. Futball says:

    Wooo Segio's booty and Cristiano's booty completely turned my day around ;)

  6. lone- Brazil says:

    I love Toni Kroos !! Go Bayern
    de Munique !!

  7. Gladys says:

    I was rooting for Levante to hang in there but they just couldn't do it. Oh well, they're still comfortably in 4th so hopefully they can undertake another winning streak in the new year.

    On the other hand, the Valencia game was so exciting. Soldado is just on fire (nearly scored four). I think he may now be, for me, the sexiest man on the La Liga pitch ("sexiest" not best-looking…in that he seems like he'd be a hell of a lot of passionate trouble). He needs to bottle up some of that anger and get himself on La Roja pronto.

  8. Miss Lampard says:

    You won't believe girls and I know that's incredible but I played with my famous i-phone at Fifa 11 with Chelsea against Wigan and I got a draw 1-1..It's a bit disappointing this results, things are not improve in this, I hope that Andre Villas Boas will stop benching Nando, I think that now he deserves a chance, how could he improve if he stay on the bench?
    But there's also a consolation 'cause I played the next match against Tottenham and I won 3-1 (Lampsy in goal), ok maybe it's a bit exaggerated, but it's a victory, wait and see for the next match..

    • Meeka says:

      Miss Lampard I feel exactly the same way! I don't understand how he's supposed to fit into the team and find some rhythm to his game if he NEVER plays. AVB shouldn't have made those substitutions either. He took out the hottest striker on the team for more defensive players to preserve a 1 goal lead! Smh** Hopefully Torres will get some playing time once Drogba leaves for the African Cup in January. I reeeeeeeeally want him to work out for Chelsea cause he's too good to be warming the bench.

    • April says:

      Ohhh, this match. I don't know what to say except that our boys were really not playing like they were in it to win it. While I see the tactics behind some of AVB's substitutions, I didn't agree with all the choices of individuals to sub in/out. But then, no one was playing all that exceptionally well. Don't know what got into them. But bravo to Wigan for going into the game with a draw in mind, but ending it with the desire to win. Sure Cech made a silly mistake to give up the goal, but had Gomez not been alert Wigan may not have had it, so Gomez did his job well.

      • IrishBlue says:

        Ha I am still enjoying the Fifa 12 iPhone predictions! 3-1 against Tottenham sounds fantastic!

        Fair play to Wigan and all but do any of yee think Chelsea were maybe a bit complacent and didn't play with the drive they did against Man City because of this? Oh and don't get me started on Torres! The guy will have to be wheeled out onto the pitch and reintroduced to the rules of football if he doesn't play soon!

        • April says:

          I don't know what to make of it. They looked less complacent to me and more like they had football amnesia, or something. As if they've never had to play against the parked bus before. There were definitely spaces to take advantage of and no one ran into them… we barely ran off the ball period. It was like they just stood around watching whoever had the ball… and the person with the ball inevitably ran into a defender an lost it while throwing up their arms about having no one to pass it to. It was almost absurd to watch.

          Let's just hope we can back and remember how to play again this week! Maybe meeting some fans today will have helped inspire them some.

  9. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Kickette the sixth goal was from Hamit Altintop (Yes! I know we all been pleasantly shocked about it).

    They have given us the perfect early xmas gift my Madrid, wearing their red too. I feel a little bad for Seville, their first half perfomance don't really translate into the result, BUT when we have a GK as sainty as SAN Iker we win! His save against Manu was indeed out of the world, why is this saint never nominated for Ballon d'or is a sin!! Cristano I am so happy he scored a hat-trick, really happy for him! He even gave match ball to Iker's that shows how terrible of a person is he? no?!!

    Anyway, Raul Madrid scored a hat-trick was the best thing I saw this week, it was such a good football week for us Madridista, old and present 7 scoring hat-tricks!! Beautiful weekend. Hala Madrid :) :):)

    So sad for Villarreal :( !!…Soldado continue netting goals!!

  10. Caitlin says:

    Great result for Liverpool! Slowly moving upwards.

    Watched Wigan v Chelsea…oh Nando. It's not funny anymore. You don't deserve to spend all your time on the bench. Why did you have to leave????