May 14th, 2012

Weekend Results: Happy Hugs, Hairy Chests & Haircut Generators

ADP with his wife, Sonia and son, Sasha. Image: Reuters.

The season ain’t over until the bubbas say it’s over.

Fine by us!

La Liga

Real Madrid beat Mallorca 4-1 last night, taking their points tally to a record breaking 100 for the season. Mou’s men made sure of the title a couple of weeks ago, which rendered Barca’s failure to beat Real Betis inconsequential as far as the table went. We’re pretty sure they would’ve liked to honour departing manager Pep Guardiola with a win, although as Bolton will tell you this morning, footie ain’t always fair.

In other news, Europa Cup winning Atletico Madrid helped end Villarreal’s twelve-year tenure in the top flight – Radamael Falcao waiting until the 88th minute to strike the decisive blow. Rayo Vallecano stayed up at Villarreal’s expense, and to celebrate Tamudo’s scrambled goal, Michu got interviewed in his pants.


Serie A

Having taken absolutely no notice of Lecce all season, we were devastated to learn they got relegated when we saw this pic of David Di Michele. Image: Marco Luzzani/Getty Images.

Hopefully you will have recovered sufficiently from Marco’s Borriello’s moustache last week to enjoy Alessandro Del Piero’s sign-off goal – his final league appearance for Juventus ended with a 3-1 victory over Atalanta and a big ole party on the streets of Turin.

Although second position was never under threat, AC Milan would have been pleased to secure three points in their final game vs. Novara, who despite already being relegated took a 1-0 lead at the San Siro before Mathieu Flamini and departing hero Filippo Inzaghi struck.

Udinese snatched the final Champions League spot from under Lazio’s noses with a 2-0 victory over Catania, while Lecce lost 1-0 to Chievo and will play Serie B football next season. Yep. Even David Di Michele, whose torso is definitely top flight material.


DFB Pokal Cup


We would’ve thought that Borussia Dortmund had had enough of lifting trophies and chucking beer all over each other, but they thrashed Bayern Munich 5-2 in the DFB Pokal Cup on Saturday and did it all again.

How nice!


Ligue 1

Remy Cabella. Virtually transparent. Image: REUTERS/Stephane Mahe.

A last minute goal from Karim Ait-Fana put Montpellier clear at the top of Ligue 1 this weekend, but PSG are right on their tail after a goal difference boosting 3-0 win over Rennes. As it stands, PSG are three points behind Montpellier with a superior goal difference of two. Next weekend won’t quite be the fearsome behemoth of doom that the EPL was this week, but it won’t be far off.

It matters not. Yoann Gourcuff got sent off in Lyon’s 1-1 draw with Ajaccio, so we’re in mourning.



Another gem from Kick TV’s Ryan Bailey.

New York Red Bulls are back at the top of the Eastern Conference table after a dramatic comeback vs. Philadelphia Union. Having taken a 19th minute lead through Joel Lindpere, Red Bulls conceded two from Lionard Pajoy before Marcus Holgersson and Kenny Cooper made sure of the points. Former leaders Kansas City will have to make do with second place for the time being, after failing to beat Chicago Fire.

David Beckham spared LA Galaxy’s blushes away at Montreal with a free kick, but then suffered the ignominy of the crowd singing Spice Girls songs at him while he was being interviewed. Galaxy are still floating about it the middle of the Western Conference table, currently dominated by Real Salt Lake. They beat Seattle Sounders 1-0 and are three points clear of San Jose Earthquakes, who drew 1-1 with Chivas.


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18 Responses to “Weekend Results: Happy Hugs, Hairy Chests & Haircut Generators”

  1. Jenni says:

    Happy for no Lazio in the CL next season – made up a little bit for Juve winning the title (can't stand either of those teams). Also, I hadn't really been following the bottom half of Serie A, and had read an article from April that suggested Fiorentina might be relegated – glad they were well clear of it in the end. Sincerely hoping their survival will be enough for Artur Boruc, one of my favourite players of all time, not to go to Tottenham.

  2. jean says:

    I fee terrible for Villareal. I can't imagine how the fans and players must feel after being in the CL and getting releagated all in the same season.

  3. mrs benzema says:

    Wow so glad madrid won but giving them da trophy was a flipping process opera singer 32 toy thingie trophies a lot of stuff happened nd still no shritless casillas maybe we’ll get lucky during da euros anyway HALA MADRID

  4. Rossanera says:

    I spent all day Sunday sobbing at the thought of Italian football without Alessandro Del Piero, Alessandro Nesta, Pippo Inzaghi and Gianluca Zambrotta. I am beyond distraught. It is truly the end of an era.

    • Bianconera says:

      You forgot Ringhio! I did exactly the same! One of the saddest football days of my life :'(

      • Rossanera says:

        OMG I DID. Probably because I'm so traumatized. I'm going to assume from your nickname that you're a Juventina so I'll congratulate you on your amazing season (38 games undefeated … not too shabby) and give you a virtual hug because I know that with Capitano leaving you feel my pain!

        • Bianconera says:

          You guessed right! thank you! Was an amazing season, after calciopoli Juve is again where deserves to be. You were a really good opponent that made our victory more important! I can totally feel you! no matter what team you support, when such a big champions and the most important when such great men leave their teams always hurts. I cryed mainly for Ale but seeing Gattuso and Zambrotta crying like babies or Superpippo scoring again, can't leave you "unmoved"

    • Gen says:

      it was awful I also sobbed all day long!!!

    • Naomi says:

      I also sobbed all Sunday, especially after Pippo's goal. It was beyond perfect. And when Rino and Gianluca started crying (along with Ambrosini and Luca Antonini)… I was an emotional wreck. It was just too much for me. So sad to see them leave, but it had to happen and all we can do now is thank them for all they have given to us. Also, despite the fact that I'm a Milan fan, congratulations to Juventus! They really played beautifully, it was an incredible season for them.

    • Jenni says:

      Yep. Serie A is going to be completely unrecognisable. It's like they took Football Italia off Channel 4, but waited a few years before changing everything so dramatically that I'll probably never have a clue about Italian football ever again!

  5. Gladys says:

    Really sad for Villarreal! For me, it was the worst news of the weekend. However, lots of other good stuff. I'm relieved Rayo survived and congratulations to Levante for managing a Europa slot (it's all they wanted!! And Valencia was even nice enough to congratulate their crosstown rivals on their FB feed.) And lastly, so happy for Malaga coming in 4th this season and getting a CL spot. Really incredible given it's their first season of decent funding. Abrazos to Santi!! (Couldn't have happened to a sweeter guy.) It's a shame Ruud is retiring, but best of luck to him and hopefully they can land a decent striker with the promise of international competition.

  6. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Everyone bow to the greatest club in liga history 100 points, 121 goals, most away wins, most away goals, cristano most away goals, he is the first player to ever score against all 19 teams in liga, oh mine even goal difference we win.

    All hail the champions of champions! Que celebration as well, calleti piggy ride Mourinho jajaja, Mourinho bowing to his team the 100 puntos heros. Que gran equipo!!

    In sadder news, Villarreal is relegated, horrible I hope they will pull a depor and stay one year, come back stronger, I am soo happy for Rayo!.

    And Adios Rud!!

    • Fernanda says:

      As a Barca fan, I refuse to bow to them!! Haha… But I can congratulate you and the rest of the Real Madrid fans on a great season. We shall meet again next season ;)

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        I understand :) , I take a Pasillo jaja! Thanks, well these two push each other to break all records tbh

  7. sarah says:

    congraaats juveee
    congraaaaaaats madrid

  8. FootballandMe says:

    Did Real Madrid do their celebrations under Harry Potters magic cloak or something?

  9. anna says:

    Ah, I was hoping for Dortmund's Cup win to get its own post, so much hotness…
    Anyway, hottest penalty taker ever?…

  10. sarah says:

    la liga no pic whyy???