January 24th, 2011

Weekend Results: Hat Tricks & Hot Thighs

What an eventful couple of days, Kickettes! Whether you were out shopping, recovering from your weekend festivities in a ditch or even watching the football, there are plenty of exciting stories you need to be acquainted with before embarking on your day. If you can bring yourself to scroll down from the above image, that is. 


With the focus firmly placed on the ‘Sky Sports Presenters in Ass-hattery Scandal’ taking place in the commentary box, the game of football that broke out at Molineux this Saturday between Liverpool and Wolves went largely unnoticed. Which is somewhat typical of Liverpool’s luck, really. The Reds beat Mick McCarthy’s struggling side by three goals to nil, two of them coming from MIA striker Fernando Torres, the other a twenty five yard volley by Raul Meireles. The beginnings of a comeback under King Kenny Dalglish or a blip, Kickettes?

Another side who have been struggling for form (although slightly more comfortably considering they’re at the top of the table) are Manchester United, who, like Liverpool, shoved all the negative press aside to beat Birmingham City 5-0. Doting Daddy Dimitar Berbatov scored his third hat trick of the season, with Ryan Giggs and Nani contributing two more.

A Robin Van Persie (left) hat trick saw United’s title rivals Arsenal keeping up the pressure; his three coming against relegation threatened Wigan Athletic. David & Romeo Beckham were in the house, Romeo sporting a rather snappy red & white scarf. Soooo sweet.

You’d think this would be the ‘biggest’, most exciting Arsenal news of the weekend, wouldn’t you? You would be wrong. Click here for a Samir Nasri related underpant situ that has led to a significant erosion of our scrolling fingers. Damn!

 Meanwhile Roberto Mancini’s Manchester City stuttered, losing 1-0 to an Aston Villa side enlivened by the presence of controversial (and not just because of this) signing Darren Bent. He responded to critics by banging in the only goal of the game. Spurs are fifth having drawn 1-1 away at Newcastle. (Getty Images/Daylife)

La Liga

Who knew?! (Getty Images/Daylife)

It’s fourteen league wins on the bounce for Barcelona, who went four clear of Real Madrid with a 3-0 win over Racing Santander. Leo Messi scored yet another via a penalty but also demonstrated some rather spectacular side-thigh (above); an issue we were previously unaware of but will keep a close eye on in the future. Karim Benzema saved face for Madrid; his second half strike was the difference between his side and ninth place Mallorca.

Third place Villarreal beat Real Sociedad 2-1 while Valencia kept pace with a storming 4-3 victory over Malaga. More thighs were on display in Espanyol’s 3-1 away win against Getafe, Luis Garcia Fernandez scoring and then doing the honours (left).



Michael Ballack and his peen made a happy return to Bundesliga, his Bayer Leverkusen side beating Borussia Monchengladbach 3-1 away to take them second in the table. Admittedly they’re still eleven points behind leaders Borussia Dortmund, but there may be a vague hope; Dortmund failed to beat second from bottom Stuttgart and dropped two points.

Bayern Munich breezed to fourth place this weekend with a 5-1 win over FC Kaiserslautern, a Mario Gomez hat trick doing the damage. Third place Hannover did Louis Van Gaal’s boys no harm at all either; they lost to Schalke via a Raul strike.

Serie A

It might look odd, but this is actually an extremely complex yoga move designed to test neck strength and expose thigh. We like yoga. (Getty Images/Daylife)

Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored a late goal to secure three points for AC Milan in a 2-0 victory against Cesena, they are now clear of nearest rivals Napoli by four points, despite Napoli’s 2-0 away win over Bari. Third placed Roma also registered a solid win; 3-0 against Cagliari coming by way of goals from Totti, Perotta and Menez. Philippe Mexes (left) got a bit over excited (Getty Images/Daylife). 

Udinese claimed a 3-1 win over Inter Milan, (giving Inter manager Leonardo the sadz), while Juventus were held to a goalless draw at Sampdoria. Gigi Buffon broke convention by looking pretty hot in a pair of tights. (Leonardo via elpais.com)

Ligue 1

‘Twas the Coupe De France (French Cup) this weekend so no league results to report. You can find out the results of the cup games here, if you so wish.

Opinions on hat tricks and reviews of Leo Messi’s thigh thrills should be submitted here. Thank you.

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70 Responses to “Weekend Results: Hat Tricks & Hot Thighs”

  1. @linvinnaar says:

    Strap yourselves in, kids. Liverpool is back and doing it the Liverpool Way.

    P.S That image of Messi might be a little.. disturbing. Lovely thighs though.

  2. Kickette, please don't let me be attracted to Lio Messi… that's all it takes, a bit o' skin and I'm gone :P

    Fernando rules forever tho!!! YNWA!

  3. LuvinBale says:

    First things first- Fernando looks as though he is on his way back to be on form!!! That was a good game and he looked terrific!

    Tying with Newcastle is not what I wanted this weekend but its better than losing. Speaking of losing- Man City lost to Aston Villa! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! Thank You Darren Bent!! It was as if City didnt even show up for the game.

    All I can say is way to Piennar and Lennon those two were amazing. Lennons late goal was UNBELIEVABLE!!! So proud of my team and I know we can get some points out of Fulam.

    On a not so happy not- Baby Bale hurt his back. I bet its from that meanie Phil Neville taking him out in the Everton game. Get well soon Bale and let me know if you need a back rub!!!

  4. narsenal says:

    Are those Nasri pictures from when he played at Marseille? Pretty old….

  5. ThatWelshOne says:

    Best moment of the weekend? Aaron Ramsey returning to my home town :-) going to the match v Reading next week to see him! Croeso cartref Ramsey :-)

  6. rubyqueen says:

    for some unknown reason i am sexually attracted to leo messi.??

  7. JEAH!!! says:

    Liverpool and Nando finally back for good!!

  8. Zhenya says:

    I like Gigi's hair so much better without the headband -so much more distinguished- looking now.:) Glad to see him healthy again.

  9. diana says:

    Milan's win was a bit soured by Nesta's injury :( .The man spent a big part of his career undergoing surgery…good news are that he'll be back in 2-3 weeks!
    That Mexex pic is PRECIOUS!lolllll

  10. backoffmyNando says:

    OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!! I was so excited when Liverpool won this weekend and I was especially excited about Fernando's two goals!!!! Raul's goal was gorgeous and I can only imagine how good Liverpool will become once Stevie Gerrard comes back. *sigh* I can't type anymore because I'm just getting so distracted with that Nando picture above (thank you thank you thank you Kickette) and the peek of delicious abs that we get to glimpse from Fernando…………

  11. mochara says:

    ooh Messi you naughty boy! But wait, just a little higher……

  12. buglexi says:

    Kickette! Pictures like the above of Nando need to carry a warning! Definitely capable of causing seizures and other bodily disturbances. So glad he's back (to stay I hope)

  13. gi0ia says:

    Am I the only one who is hoping, feeling and, unfortunately, time and time again suffering for Diego Forlan? What an awful, awful time he is going through, and what an awful lot of abuse he is being subjected to! I was actually close to lashing out and replying to everyone who dared to write him abusive tweets yesterday… I`m in utter shreds… Sorry, just had to share. Thanks for the counselling session… :-( ((

    • Deb Stimson says:

      I know…I really feel for the guy. It's even worse when Kun's not out there with him. Antonio Reyes on the other hand is having a great year!

      • gi0ia says:

        Reyes is doing great, and I can imagine that this will add to the pressure for Forlan. They are all so young, too…

  14. Whitney Hot4Spurs says:

    I am so in love with Aaron Lennon right now! Even though it was a draw, I'm still proud of my boys!

  15. DeeRoma says:

    I was so thrilled to watch the Roma game and see them have a decisive win. The third goal from Menez was just a thing of beauty from start to finish. Also, I find it amusing that the announcers on FSC before the game talked about Totti's scoring woes and he got the first goal. Yes, it was a PK but still a goal. I love my team.

  16. mamaly says:

    Kaka, what is wrong????
    Please don't let RM and Jose down

  17. blitzenTO says:

    Just came back in to say how much I am loving the slim-fit shorts Liverpool are wearing this season. Just look at Torres in the pic above and you will see what I mean. Thank you, Adidas! ;)

  18. Sarah says:

    Sexist Sky idiots aside, I watched A LOOOOOT of football this weekend and managed to miss Valencia's game of the season! Silly revision for exams that will determine my degree class.

    Anyway, thanks to the powers that be MOTD, I managed to catch all the highlights. Dimistar Berbagod, to think fans were calling for him to be sold in Summer 2010. Hat trick hero, spends a lot of the time hibernating but suddenly comes to life. Vidic's mistakes are not -by decree of destiny and all that hold karma to account- are NOT allowed to be goals. That's how amazing the man is. But sadly, his and Rio's efforts will go unnoticed because they're not wingers. They're more important than that, and I'm not saying that because we really like REALLY need our midfield to be firing on all cylinders.

    Marioooooo Gomez! At long last he's a player I love for more than his dedication to whipping his shirt off before the whistle has been blown to it's maximum potential. Honestly, the way he just strips, before shaking hands with anyone….there must be a world record in there somewhere.
    Meanwhile, Bayern need to keep this form up. Still from 12th to 3rd, it's prettier now.

    Valencia, I missed but read about during lunch today and nearly choked. It sounds exciting but probably would have killed me if I had been watching. How did I miss that? I read of tunnel fights, red cards, Ever confronting the Valencia fans, the team being booed off, Unai being…Unai (he's complex, sometimes a nutter, most times a misunderstood nutter with a dedication to making Valencia play good football while simultaneously damaging their self confidence by hurling abuse in their general direction when it suits him, whatever), the referee showing the sort of compassion Karen Walker recieved from Beverly Leslie in Will and Grace. Also, TWO STRIKERS!! I missed the Aduriz/Soldado partnership! Which I gather from the news, worked sublimely to steal three points in the dying moments of the game. Can we please play with two strikers, this 5 game unbeaten run is starting to feel very unconvincing. Nevertheless,VCF have first dibs on third place!

    I caught AC Milan's match and Juventus. AC Milan was worth it just for Pato's 'omg… I missed the goal' face. Beautiful, I wanted to hug him and tell him it wasn't the end of the world and that Ibra would save him. As I predicted, Ibra scored..the second. Can't believe Del Piero totally scuffed the shot that could have won the match fo Juve! Of all the people to miss. Amauri is still having his Luca Toni from 2006 moment. having said that Macheda (I have interest in him what with him being one of the Utd Babies On Tour) was brilliant for Sampadoria and they deserved a point. Even though (because of my mother), I have a soft spot for Juventus.

    Wow, that's the most I've written since the Christmas holidays began.

    Couple more notes though-
    1. Liverpool winning made my sister very happy this weekend. She's not been happy about football for a while. So thankyou Fernando Torres and Raul Meireles.
    2. Sunderland are in a European place.
    3. Gareth Bale needs to be rested. It's for his own good. Needs to be allowed to stay home and watch Spurs on the telly once in a while.

  19. Linda says:

    Thank you for gifting me the vision of a newly-tightened set of rejuvinated Fern abs! ~sizzle~

  20. Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

    Wow Sami! I guess you were…excited… over the win. I was too.

    Good old Barca! And Lio dedicated his goal to mummy. What a sweetie!

    But hey Kickette, you almost never mention Sevilla! How come? Anyway, they won and looked terrific doing so. They are catching up, believe you me!

    And I'm very glad for Fernando of course.

  21. Bri says:

    Ligue 1 news- Yoann had a cute interview at half time in the game against Nice. And he looked fabulous…I count that as news.

  22. Awww Lionel…I'll kiss it better. 'Mario Gomez hat trick' He is such a legend! Always scoring goals!
    De Rossi: I know I missed physio, but now's really not the time to fill me in!
    And am I the only one who finds Mancini kinda cute? For an older man…

  23. gin_in_teacups says:

    Not that I got to watch it, but hooray for my Reds! A much needed win and from what I heard, a pretty awesome game. Still sore about not getting to see it.

    On Sunday a friend and I had the pleasure of watching the Madrid game with the Real Supporters Club in New York. It was so great to be able to experience it like that, with a big group of passionate fans. Also, this awesome conversation happened:
    RM fan: "So how did you start liking Real Madrid?"
    Me: "I was getting into football and I just started watching lots of matches and Real Madrid felt like the right club."
    RM fan: "Was it Sergio Ramos?"
    Me: "…"

    • Bri says:

      hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! lol ;)

    • Vrock says:

      OMG when i read your post i laughed so loud that my boss heard me (opps!), he was soooo the reason i started watching soccer, now i love it!! There is just something about the Ramos ;)

      • gin_in_teacups says:

        Hehe. I used to get caught doing non-work internet things all the time because I'd laugh so much.

        I liked football before I knew of The Ramos, but he was a big part in making me obsessed. Gotta love that man!

        • Leya_S says:


          I still remember first laying eyes on him in the '06 World Cup…which seems like such a lifetime ago…but I remember falling in love with Sergio and Nando, and subsequently Sernando….and I still love Fern, but Sergio just gets hotter with every new tattoo and yellow card….plus there's something really delicious about offensive defenders (which I know seems like an oxymoron, but its totally hot).

    • Leya_S says:

      hahaha! I love it!
      There's a Real Supporters Club in NYC?!?!

      • gin_in_teacups says:

        It was hilarious. And http://www.realmadridnyc.com/ Great group of people and one of the most comfortable environments for girl fans I've ever been in.

        • Leya_S says:

          ooooo that looks sooooo tempting……
          ….I'm a Barca fan….
          but I still really wanna go, haha!

          • gin_in_teacups says:

            Haha. That's right I forgot!

            Do you know about the Barca supporters club? I don't know much about it but I'm like 98% sure they watch their matches at Nevada Smith's. At least it's always full of cules.

            • Leya_S says:

              Lol, yeah actually after you mentioned the Real Madrid supporters, I, of course, immediately looked for Blaugranas and Gooners clubs. And both searches led me to Nevada Smith's. I assume that most teams' supporters watch their games there. The place looks cool so I'm REALLY excited to check it out!

              • gin_in_teacups says:

                It's such a great atmosphere! My teams both have their own bars, but I love going there when I want to watch something other than Real or Liverpool. I mean anyplace where you can drink and watch footy all day long is a happy place!

                • Leya_S says:

                  There's a Liverpool bar?!?!
                  I'm TOTALLY slacking. I'm squandering my lifetime of living in NY!!
                  None of my friends are into football, though, so I'd have to pluck up the courage and go by myself.

                  • gin_in_teacups says:

                    Oh girl! 11th Street Bar. It's like the mothership. It's on 11th between A and B. If I wasn't going back to Scotland in a week I'd invite you to come with me and my friends. But you should definitely go. Even if you have to go alone you'll end up talking to people.

        • canederli says:

          I'm a member of the RMNYC supporters group but wasn't in attendance for the game. I just joined relatively recently – didn't know about it's existence until I met another Madridista in my local in Brooklyn while watching a match. They all seem like such lovely people. If you're an RM fan, you should check out the new blog: http://headbandsandheartbreak.wordpress.com It's just a bunch of fun footy related silliness. (And there's lotsa Fernando too – by virtue of him being half of the perfect bliss that is Sernando). :-)

    • Deb Stimson says:

      That is hilarious! Is your friend a Ramos fan too?

      • gin_in_teacups says:

        It was really funny. I wasn't even wearing my Ramos shirt, she just knew.

        No, my friend is a Xabi fan. While I'm happy to share Sergio with other Kickettes, my real life friends know better than to move in on my football boyfriend :-P

    • bri_saldana says:

      hehehe…bet they read it all over your face!

  24. Femz17 says:

    Drooool. Love Nando! So glad he is back :)

  25. cescsababe says:

    I was so mad that I missed the game! In the highlights, Fernando looked super pouty, and I always enjoy seeing him tussle with the opposition defense (it's really adorable). Plus he scored, which I hope means he's back on form!

  26. blake2108 says:

    Gareth injured his back again, and he might need surgery to sort it.

    God knows how long he'll be out for.

    When he get injured it's like a part of me does too, and I hate it. I just wish I knew how long he'll be out for.


  27. Leá says:

    I was so happy for Nando. It was great to see how happy he was and to see him score a couple. I knew it was only a matter of time until he got back to the top of his form, but God, I am so glad it seems like he's busting out of his slump.

    Madrid is playing like a second place team. I'm not happy, and I'm sure Mou isn't either.

    • Deb Stimson says:

      I hate to say it but they just don't play as well with Kaka on the pitch and Xabi on the bench. But Mou did say he was trying to rest some of the starters since the have another game on Wednesday. Cris was having a really rough day. Felt bad for him but someone else has to step up, if that happens. And Arbeloa…SHOOT.THE.BALL!!! yeeshh…couldn't believe he passed up that shot. :{

  28. nandosfreckles says:

    finally torres actually scored, nando is back whooo!! he's looking fine but lets not hope that he goes back to that blonde do again, brown seems more natural.
    anyway off topic there lol.
    might as well mention that his ABS are looking yum. xD

  29. Missy Manchester says:

    In the Serie A pic (#5)…why is there a short tent at the BACK of YogaMan's shorts?

    I'm concerned.

  30. D0li says:

    I hope that's not an injection spot on Messi's leg, but rather the result of a fall. Either way I'm glad Benzema scored I'm starting to get worried for him.. Higuaine is getter better and so is Kaka which means that he might be on the bench most of the season or sold.

  31. blitzenTO says:

    I'm going to take a break from my usual post-weekend gushing over Barcelona to say:

    Arsenal looked terrific! That was the most complete game they have played in a while, and everyone looked great (except Arshavin, who stunk). Maybe training with Thierry Henry is making a difference?

    • Linda says:

      Brilliant game but I tell ya,I agree with you on Shava. I don't want Arshavin on the pitch even for 10 minutes! With his form this season he's an absolute liability – especially when he tends to lose balls in dangerous areas. When Arsene put him in I was cringing and clutching my pearls in fright…

  32. Tanya says:

    First comment with something positive to say about United… According to the Golden Shoe rankings, Berba is number 3 behind messi and ronaldo and he deserves it. '

    Aside from my demonic hate for Liverpool, I hope Torres get's his form back. He is inching closer. The hairband is back-proofs. Short dark haired Torres – shit form, Short hair Berba – same brilliance but with goals to back. The few things which I now wait for are more Gerrard injuries/red-card , more Berba hattricks, and Lampard hattricks.

    • Isla says:

      Agreed about Lampard hat-tricks but unforunately he won't play tonight and I will miss him so much, but I hope in his goals for the next matches!!

  33. meh says:

    RVP what can I say, too sick for words… everyones back, torres, fabby, RVP, walcott, Chamakh (looks hot again) and david beckham ;) (wishes he was at another north london club…). The results on sat, made my YEAR, if arsenal keep this up, we may have a little something on Barcelona….

  34. Caitlin says:

    I just loved everything about the Wolves v Liverpool game…especially the moment when Fernando handed the ball back to Stearman after scoring. :o )

  35. Caro says:

    Ok, so I guess there's something wrong with me just watching the spot on Messi's thigh rather than the guy himself? Damn, medicine has screwed me!

  36. Summer says:

    Pay attention girls because we're very pleased to say that LIVERPOOL and FERN ARE BACK!!!

  37. Leya_S says:

    GREAT weekend:
    1. (Inappropriate comments from SkySports aside) I was elated to see the female referee at the Lvp match!
    2. Liverpool owned! Meireles and Fern were amazing.
    3. Gunners won (although I didn't see this one bc freaking FSCTV was not working on my computer!)
    4. Barcelona is the most successful team right now with 20 games and 55 points from all matches! (although I didn't see this match either : ( bc it wasn't showing anywhere that I have a subscription to.)
    5. Man City went down to the Villans to allow Arsenal to clinch 2nd!
    6. Sevilla won!
    7. Although Mallorca lost to RM, I realized that their team is REALLY HOT!

    I'm only worried that ManU will match Arsenal's "Invicibles" season, which is something I don't want….

  38. SoccerrLoverrr says:

    Highlight of my weekend: my gunners winning due to van persie's spectacular hat-trick!! :) Yesss the flying dutchman is back!! And Maroaunae came on even though it was during the 86th minute! :P

  39. Louise says:

    Liverpool won 3-0, actually, and that clean sheet might actually have been the most important part, along with the fact that the win was away, only the second of the season. Long Live the King!

  40. Nihaal28 says:

    Omg leo that. Must be painfull

  41. Sarah says:

    What, no mention of Lyon crashing out of the CdF in extra time? BUT GOURCUFF WAS THERE!!!1!