January 24th, 2011
Weekend Results: Hat Tricks & Hot Thighs
What an eventful couple of days, Kickettes! Whether you were out shopping, recovering from your weekend festivities in a ditch or even watching the football, there are plenty of exciting stories you need to be acquainted with before embarking on your day. If you can bring yourself to scroll down from the above image, that is.
With the focus firmly placed on the ‘Sky Sports Presenters in Ass-hattery Scandal’ taking place in the commentary box, the game of football that broke out at Molineux this Saturday between Liverpool and Wolves went largely unnoticed. Which is somewhat typical of Liverpool’s luck, really. The Reds beat Mick McCarthy’s struggling side by three goals to nil, two of them coming from MIA striker Fernando Torres, the other a twenty five yard volley by Raul Meireles. The beginnings of a comeback under King Kenny Dalglish or a blip, Kickettes?
Another side who have been struggling for form (although slightly more comfortably considering they’re at the top of the table) are Manchester United, who, like Liverpool, shoved all the negative press aside to beat Birmingham City 5-0. Doting Daddy Dimitar Berbatov scored his third hat trick of the season, with Ryan Giggs and Nani contributing two more.
A Robin Van Persie (left) hat trick saw United’s title rivals Arsenal keeping up the pressure; his three coming against relegation threatened Wigan Athletic. David & Romeo Beckham were in the house, Romeo sporting a rather snappy red & white scarf. Soooo sweet.
You’d think this would be the ‘biggest’, most exciting Arsenal news of the weekend, wouldn’t you? You would be wrong. Click here for a Samir Nasri related underpant situ that has led to a significant erosion of our scrolling fingers. Damn!
Meanwhile Roberto Mancini’s Manchester City stuttered, losing 1-0 to an Aston Villa side enlivened by the presence of controversial (and not just because of this) signing Darren Bent. He responded to critics by banging in the only goal of the game. Spurs are fifth having drawn 1-1 away at Newcastle. (Getty Images/Daylife)
Who knew?! (Getty Images/Daylife)
It’s fourteen league wins on the bounce for Barcelona, who went four clear of Real Madrid with a 3-0 win over Racing Santander. Leo Messi scored yet another via a penalty but also demonstrated some rather spectacular side-thigh (above); an issue we were previously unaware of but will keep a close eye on in the future. Karim Benzema saved face for Madrid; his second half strike was the difference between his side and ninth place Mallorca.
Third place Villarreal beat Real Sociedad 2-1 while Valencia kept pace with a storming 4-3 victory over Malaga. More thighs were on display in Espanyol’s 3-1 away win against Getafe, Luis Garcia Fernandez scoring and then doing the honours (left).
Michael Ballack and his peen made a happy return to Bundesliga, his Bayer Leverkusen side beating Borussia Monchengladbach 3-1 away to take them second in the table. Admittedly they’re still eleven points behind leaders Borussia Dortmund, but there may be a vague hope; Dortmund failed to beat second from bottom Stuttgart and dropped two points.
Bayern Munich breezed to fourth place this weekend with a 5-1 win over FC Kaiserslautern, a Mario Gomez hat trick doing the damage. Third place Hannover did Louis Van Gaal’s boys no harm at all either; they lost to Schalke via a Raul strike.
It might look odd, but this is actually an extremely complex yoga move designed to test neck strength and expose thigh. We like yoga. (Getty Images/Daylife)
Zlatan Ibrahimovic scored a late goal to secure three points for AC Milan in a 2-0 victory against Cesena, they are now clear of nearest rivals Napoli by four points, despite Napoli’s 2-0 away win over Bari. Third placed Roma also registered a solid win; 3-0 against Cagliari coming by way of goals from Totti, Perotta and Menez. Philippe Mexes (left) got a bit over excited (Getty Images/Daylife).
Udinese claimed a 3-1 win over Inter Milan, (giving Inter manager Leonardo the sadz), while Juventus were held to a goalless draw at Sampdoria. Gigi Buffon broke convention by looking pretty hot in a pair of tights. (Leonardo via elpais.com)
‘Twas the Coupe De France (French Cup) this weekend so no league results to report. You can find out the results of the cup games here, if you so wish.
Opinions on hat tricks and reviews of Leo Messi’s thigh thrills should be submitted here. Thank you.