March 7th, 2011

Weekend Results: Hot Boys & Hairnets

Is this the most perfect photo in the history of football? For our purposes, yes. Yes, it is. (Image: Getty Images/Zimbio)

Regardless of your club affiliations, you have to admit that it was a cracking few days of football. 

No? Oh, come on. Just try. For us.

While you may be rueing missed opportunities, dodgy refereeing decisions or the inconsistency of the form tables, you have to admit this weekend’s results from the EPL, Serie A and Ligue 1 have blown the respective title races wide open. With vital fixtures in the Champions League still to come, plus league cups and the inevitable scandals that players are obliged to involve themselves in, we are stocking up on popcorn for a fab couple of months of footie.

No? Alright. Be like that then.



Andrey Arshavin contemplates the standard of refereeing in the EPL this season. (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)

On paper, Manchester United’s loss at Stamford Bridge last Tuesday coupled with Arsenal’s 5-0 FA Cup win over Leyton Orient gave Arsene Wenger’s babies the opportunity to put some serious pressure on the Red Devils.

Sadly (and controversially, quelle surprise) Arsenal were unable to collect the three points required to give Fergie the fear, with Andrey Arshavin first having a goal ruled offside and then being denied a penalty after a push by Titus Bramble. With United due to play on Sunday, Wenger was noticeably peeved.

Elsewhere on Saturday, David Silva (left) saved Manchester City’s blushes after Wigan goalkeeper Ali Al Habsi fluffed an easy save, giving the Sky Blues a 1-0 win. Even if Chelsea win at Blackpool tonight, they will still be two points behind Roberto Mancini’s team, which is clearly not ideal if they plan to win the title. (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)

Newcastle took the lead against Everton and then ended up losing 2-1, while both Bolton and Fulham won by three goals to two, beating Aston Villa and Blackburn respectively.

And so to Sunday, and a match that was always going to pass peacefully. Apparently, Dirk Kuyt (left) hadn’t read the script and scored two poacher’s goals before half time, before netting a third on sixty five minutes, while Javier Hernandez scored a consolation for United in injury time. The fixture wouldn’t have been complete without some sort of outburst, though, and so Jamie Carragher did the honours just before half time by taking Nani down with an ‘enthusiastic’ tackle. Something of a bunfight then unfolded, culminating in Nani being removed from the playing area, sporting a fairly nasty gash to his leg. (Image: Reuters/Daylife)

Rafael and Lucas were lucky not be sent off later after the former took the latter out, but the upshot of all the hot air (Fergie’s hairdyer not withstanding, he failed to show up for the post match interviews) was that United are now just three points clear of a fortunate Arsenal, albeit with a game in hand.

Later, Spurs and Wolves fought out a 3-3 draw, which leaves Spurs level on points with Chelsea and Wolves nineteenth.

See? We told you it was exciting!

La Liga

So, just to confirm, you’ll pose naked for Kickette after the game, Sergio? Great. (Image: Reuters/Daylife)

Hurling ourselves out onto a shaky limb here, we’re of the opinion that the La Liga title will either be going to the Nou Camp or the Bernabeu this season. There’s always the possibility that Pep or Mou (or both) could do a ‘Kevin Keegan’ but quite honestly we wouldn’t put our remaining credit card balances on it.

Barcelona are now seven points clear of Real Madrid via their 1-0 victory over Real Zaragoza and Real’s comfortable 3-1 away win over Racing Santander. In third place are Valencia, who beat Mallorca 2-1 but fourth placed Villarreal slipped up by losing 3-1 away at Atletico Madrid. Goals from Reyes, Sergio Aguero (above) & Diego Forlan put Atletico in eighth place, on an equal points footing with Sevilla who lost 2-0 to Athletic Bilbao.

At the other end of the table, things are looking dire for Malaga who lost 1-0 to Osasuna and remain at the bottom on twenty-three points while Almeria gave themselves a glimmer of hope with a 2-1 win over Hercules.

Serie A

To be fair, this would be a tough look for anyone to pull off. Props to Palermo’s Ezequiel Munoz for giving it a go. (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)

With a statement of intent that was hard to miss, Internazionale took second place in Serie A this weekend with a 5-2 victory over Genoa. For their part, AC Milan also collected three points in a tight 1-0 win over Juventus and remain top by five, but we like the way things are hotting up as we slide inexorably towards the latter stages of the season.  

Elsewhere, Napoli failed to keep up the pressure after a 0-0 draw at home to nineteenth placed Brescia while Lazio’s 2-0 win over Palermo took them to fourth. A last minute David Pizarro penalty gave Roma a much needed boost; their poor form in their last few games has seen them slip to sixth, while Bari might as well wave goodbye to top flight football, they are now nine points adrift at the bottom of the table after a 1-0 defeat to Udinese.


Lars Bender makes his debut on Kickette. Well, hello there! (Image: AP Photo/Daylife)

Some big scores in the Bundesliga this weekend, although leaders Borussia Dortmund kicked off the weekend on Friday night with a relatively tight 1-0 victory over Cologne. We doubt they give a crap though; they are currently twelve points clear of nearest rivals Bayer Leverkusen who beat Wolfsburg 3-0. Kickettes who have previously expressed an interest in a fresher, younger, blonder type of player may be interested in Lars Bender (above), who scored Leverkusen’s opening goal and got himself noticed into the bargain. Thoughts, please?

Bayern Munich were on the wrong end of a 3-1 scoreline against third placed Hannover while Mainz scored four away goals to beat Hamburg 4-2. Christian Eigler scored four on his own in Nuremburg’s 5-0 demolition of hapless St Pauli, while Borussia Monchengladbach held on for dear life at the bottom of the table with a 2-0 win over TSG Hoffenheim.

Ligue 1

Lyon’s Michel Bastos demonstrates the perils of a breast augmentation operation. And his nice abs.(Image: Reuters/Daylife)

After three consecutive draws, we were hoping that bottom of the table side Arles might be on the up. Sadly, these hopes were dashed by the twinkle toes of Lisandro Lopez, who scored three in Lyon’s 5-0 thrashing of the Kickette favourites. Humph.

A very late strike from Pierre-Alain Frau snatched victory for Lille, their 2-1 win over Marseille enough to take them above Rennes on goal difference. Rennes did what they could, a 1-0 win over Montpellier grabbing three points that could prove to be vital at the end of the season.

Elsewhere, Bordeaux got an important 3-1 away win at Brest, while Lens remained second from bottom after a 0-0 draw at Nice.

Ok, give us your thoughts. We’re going to hide with the interns in the broom cupboard.

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49 Responses to “Weekend Results: Hot Boys & Hairnets”

  1. gi0ia says:

    I don`t care about winning or losing – DIEGO FORLAN SCORED!! <3 Diego Forlan scored, and nothing else matters!! I just have to write it again: Diego Forlan scored a goal at the weekend! And I don`t care about the rest… (sorry if that makes me a bad football fan but I`ve just felt so much for him…)

  2. UtdMadridgirl says:

    Well I guess I will be the sour grape of the bunch. FML on Liverpool and Chelsea beating Man Utd back to back, serious FML on that one. I didn't think it would happen, I guess we got too comfortable,but we have key players out right now. I pray to God, that we are able to pull it off with Arsenal. I don't know that I could stand it :/

    But on to better news, Real Madrid, YES YES YES, eff YES!! I've always said that one man doesn't make our team, even if that man is my Ronaldo, Ozil stepped up to the plate, and Benzema is finally playing in form. yay!

  3. xbabyshakesx says:

    Lots of love for Arsenal, but that game was definitely theirs! soo many chances and UGH that REF! asdl;kfjl;aksdj crazy business but now that it's over THANK YOU LIVERPOOL!!!!! =]

    on a side note: Chicha you still have my heart <3

  4. @AgnesWonka says:

    I don't worry about the lost matches, it's just a bad week and that's it!

  5. I defy you to describe that Serie A photo without using the phrase "reservoir tip."

  6. rubyqueen says:

    congrats to liverpool for saving arsenal's bacon and for the spectacular boys really did dissapoint me we should of stuffed sunderland.:( we need a miracle against barcalona but i'm keeping my fingers crossed.:)

  7. xoWinnie says:

    i'm so disappointed that they've squandered such a huge chance to close in on the op spot in the EPL, but my faith is still burning strong! the season's not over yet!

  8. ginny says:

    first liverpol WWEEYYYYY !!!!!!
    3-1 and we knew we won
    and second tottenham one one lucky team ,GARETH BALE BACK

  9. gin_in_teacups says:

    Perfect results are perfect :-) I always love my teams, but I love 'em just that bit extra when they turn in performances like Liverpool did yesterday. And for most of the RM match.

  10. I only have one reply…SKRTEL!!!!! I want to spank him so bad for being a naughty boy! He was so sexy!

  11. Sophia says:

    though Kuyt got the hattrick, Suarez was the star at anfield…Starting to find his madness a turn on..anyone? Also love him for keeping arsenal's title dreams alive :) totally agree with the lars bender thing..he is hot…though he's nicknamed 'the vacuum cleaner' which disturbs me slightly……when I saw Rafael in the 'pool game lifting up his shorts i just knew kickette were going to show that picture….that was the best part of the game for me, shorting followed by Suarez's awesome run.

  12. jessie says:

    Hope at the end of the season, Arsenal fans raise their voices in thanks to the LIVERPOOL FC. Suarez, you animal you….

  13. Soon2beWifeOfNAsri says:

    First off all I want to say THANK YOU to LIVERPOOL and a special mention to DIRK KUIJT for his first hatrick in a liverpool shirt!!!!

    Secondly Arshavin I salute you for not going down when Bramble tumbled over and took you with him in the penalty box, but darn it we should have won that game grrrr…

    But that doesnt matter now cos CESC AND RVP are fit and have flown to BARCA today yipppieeeeeee, now we have a more REALISTIC chance of coming away with a victory *fingers crossed*

    Ohh and what a game between Sp*rs and Wolves that was proper end to end football!!

  14. Deanna says:

    Liverppol! AMAZING. It was quite the result on its own and as a Gunner , I thank you again!
    After the Gunner game on Saturday I needed a pick-me-up and Silva was there with a goal. That man can do no wrong for me.
    Real, that was a GOOD GAME.

    I think I'll just stop breathing until Tuesday now. Please, my Gunners. PLEASE.

    Also all the pics made me a giggle a bit (minus Shava's) nice choices!

  15. blake2108 says:


    I've missed you badly, Gareth.

    • I was so happy to see him! I was at first disappointed that he didn't start, but then I realized that all of his sexiness needs to be preserved for ac milan.

  16. athenarena says:

    Seeing as there is not a Magpie or another Toffee in sight, I have this to say. Boys you actually lived up to Nil Satis Nisi Optimum on Saturday. After a week of hard exams with the prospect of more you really cheered me up and maybe me -almost- not like Paul Merson. Osman, Jags nobody on that team deserved those goals more than you guys -well maybe Howard but he cannot score :P - because of the amount of work you put in without caring for praise or recognition. Fabulous work from Baines again, Arteta was on fire and everybody did their job SUPER well.
    Also, magpies hard luck but you were some wonderful fans and I have been talking with some of you and the respect I am getting is unreal. Keep that up, these are the sort of fans we want in football today! Respectful and kind.


  17. Summer says:

    Thanks Liverpool, thank you very much because our hope, like Chelsea fan, can continue. We are possibly at -6 from the EPL's top. We must to win tonight against Blackpool and against Birmingham. I don't know if Chelsea still has a chance to win the league, I'll just see what will happen. But I'm sure of a thing, it's better that Arsenal will win the Premiership than United.
    PS: Good luck for tomorrow Gunners, I hope you will beat Barça and so see you in the round of eight.
    PS: Just a question. When could we see Nando's first goal?

  18. Madridalita! says:

    I'd like to dedicate my post today to Mesut Ozil!!! You are the man my friend and you are going to do some big things for us!!! I was worried as Ronaldo wasn't playing but the game went awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :) :):):):):):):)

    And second to Liverpool, good job guys!!! That was a fantastic win!!!!
    Arsenal you can now rock that table!!!!!!!!

    Good day to everyone! The sun is shining in Vancouver and I just got my OZIL jersey after a 4 week wait! lol


    • Amy says:

      I could not possibly love Ozi and Benzy any more! If they are the future of Real Madrid, the future is very bright.

      I knew Arsenal was going to flub this perfect scenario up, they love to play with my emotions. Hopefully they redeem themselves tomorrow! What say you Leya – who will you be rooting for, REALLY?

  19. LosAngeleno says:

    God I love that little David Silva! What a gorgeous face! Congrats to him, Chicharito, and D. Forlan for goals. I'm happy about Barca, of course, but like many of us fans, too nervous for Tuesday to fully enjoy the win. (Have to watch on the sly at work– hopefully there won't be too much screaming and noticeable sweating from behind my computer.)

    • Deanna says:

      OMG Silva is just. I have loved that man for years and I just can't handle that now I see him so often and he could be speaking English soon. DID YOU SEE THIS?
      How ADORABLE is he?!

    • Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

      LOL at the screaming behind the computer!

      • LosAngeleno says:

        Luckily most people will have left by the second half, but one of my perfectly nice co-workers started making small talk with me last week during the Valencia game and I thought my head might pop off out of annoyance.

  20. SoccerrLoverrr says:

    OMGGGG Congratz to Liverpoooll!!! The main highlight of my weekend! :D :D Dirk kuyt u are one AMAZING individual! and football fights are always entertaining lol (yes im talkin bout u skrtel)
    Really upset that arsenal had a draw with sunderland..the onli thing that kept me sane during that match was when the camera zoomed in on beautiful aaron ramsey a couple of times *sigh* buh gunners u HAVE TO kick arse at camp nou!!! btw i read that van persie has been added to the squad to face barca! =)

  21. Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

    I agree with all of you here that congratulates Arsenal! If they only could have made it three points in their own game, it would have been just peaches. And of course I'm happy for Liverpools own sake, of course I am.

    But Carragher, wtf!!? I have never liked him, and now I'm convinced that his a perfect a**! I hate it when players aim to really hurt someone. I don't give much to his attempt to beg forgivness after the game either. Just don't do those things instead, alright?

    So frustrated by Sevillas own goal. They kinda lost it after that.

    BUT then the Barca boys made life good again, as always. Victor Valdes showed his sexy self on the pitch again and that made me breathe a little bit easier, considering the GAME tomorrow. I don't know how I'm gonna make myself do something useful at work tomorrow, I'm already a nervous wreck!

    • Leya_S says:

      Haha, I feel your pain. I have an interview during the game tomorrow….not sure how I'm gonna focus when I'm just gonna be wondering about the game the whole time!

  22. AnnaBlume says:

    If you like Lars Bender, you'll probably also like his brother Sven, they're identical twins. ;)
    Sven plays for Dortmund.…

  23. mamaly says:

    What's the story about Mourinho and the stabbing.
    Mou is playing it down.
    Well, did it happen or not, cause if it did, it is pretty serious.

    • JulieFromParis says:

      Well, two stories are out.

      1) At the airport, the team stopped to sign autographs but Someone among the crowd tried to stab Mou with somethg sharp. Its one of the team's bodyguard who was hurt. The bodyguard didn't realise he had a 4 cm cut until he was in the bus and one of the team's doctor took care of him. BUT the Madrid guy who supposedly reported this to the press denied it and explained that …

      2) The bodyguard realised at the hotel that he had a big scratch on his back probably unitentionally done with a pen or a notebook by an diehard fan.

      Nevertheless, the club reported the incident to Mou only two days after probably because they wanted him to stay focus or smthg. I've being struggliing to find my words so i hope it's clear enough ;)

  24. EspePique says:

    Sad that Pique and Puyol wont be playing against Arsenal. But I know Barcelona will suprise them with 3 or 4 goals :)

  25. IrishBlue says:

    Three tap-ins from Dirk Kuyt? Amazing. Unbelievable, but amazing all the same.

    If I was Mark Clattenburg I think I'd just wanna crawl into a dark hole and never come out.

    • Soon2beWifeOfNAsri says:

      Theres rumours going on that he will retire at the end of the season, wouldnt be suprised if he did though!!

  26. EllieLUFC says:

    Game of the week for me was definitely Leeds v Doncaster.
    We won 5-2 =0D Brilliant after our 3-0 loss to Swansea last weekend.
    Marching on Together <3

  27. hallo says:

    Thhaaank u liverpooool, Man U step a side! come the arsenal!!

  28. Elisa says:

    Dear Liverpool,


    The Gunners

    (And a note from me: now is the time to get your you know what together, Arsenal. The ref had some bad calls, but you had more than enough chances that you should have converted. However, I'm being lenient because there were a couple of shots of AARON RAMSEY :) …even if he was on the bench.)

  29. Spainardlover5 says:

    This is Arsenal's year. They deserve to win the Premiership. Gunners for life <3

  30. Leya_S says:

    WELL, it could have been a spectacular weekend, save 1 thing, but let's start with the good:
    1. Business as usual for Barca.
    2. LIVERPOOL!!!!!!! OMG, game was amazing. Skrtel trying to kill ppl always makes my life. And Dirk Kuyt MORE than did his job as a striker. Also, freaking MEIRELES was just brill. He had two crucial saves off the line that would have gone in past Pepe, had he not been guarding the post! I did want the Liverpool clean sheet, but at least the consolation goal was scored by Chicha.

    On to the bad:
    Arsenal: F***. I understand there was some dicey refereeing, but seriously. Please get it together for Camp Nou. That is all.

    • I kept rewinding to the part where Skrtel was acting all kick-ass! This totally made my day! I love it when he is like this!

    • gin_in_teacups says:

      Haha @ Skrtel trying to kill people. I love that man. Although I'd die on the spot if he ever came at me like that.

      Also, I didn't catch the very end of the game and was so annoyed that United got one. Until I saw it was Chicha. I can't begrudge him anything!

    • Crackers says:

      Liverpool- YES YES YESSSSS!!!!! *dances*

      Meireles was on fire, honestly. They keep this up, my liver might actually survive the season by not having to drink to forget our troubles (now, drinking to celebrate, that is another matter).

  31. hereforthenando says:

    I was not prepared for what went down yesterday at Anfield. A Dirk Kuyt hat trick? Never would I have predicted that. Never. If only we could bring that kind of determination to games against teams like, I don't know, West Ham? I'm going to go ahead and start planning my Liverpool-winning-the-league party for next May. Just kidding. Kind of.

    I'm so happy, and to stay happy, I am not going to comment on the Carra or Rafael tackles. I don't want to fight with anybody. I will say, however, that I think that Luis Suarez's hair pull on Rafael was misunderstood. He obviously couldn't control himself around those curly locks and wanted to touch them. Who can blame him?

    • Leya_S says:

      I'm right there with you. Gunners are the same way: Lose to Birmingham City, beat Barcelona, lolz.
      P.S. I seriously almost had an aneurysm from all the cheering and obnoxious celebrating I did during LVP vs. ManU.

    • Elisa says:

      Football never ceases to amaze me. You think that it HAS to go one way, and then it goes and does just the opposite. I hope that Kuyt starts getting more attention at Liverpool. He's always been behind names like Gerrard and Torres, but he really just gives everything that he has to each game.

      Despite their inconsistency, Liverpool's comeback has been impressive this season, though. Relegation zone to sixth in the league? Not bad!

    • says:

      You guys, this game was on at 5:30 in the MORNING on Sunday here and after – ahem – a somewhat late night on Saturday I debated getting up to watch. Liverpool winning that game was honestly not something I imagined, so I was extra happy that I dragged my hungover ass out of bed for this. We beat Man U (granted, they were down a hot robot) and we looked great doing it! Also: Andy Carroll – I like him in red.