April 11th, 2011

Weekend Results: Hot Men Hugging

This picture is so full of win, we almost can’t stand it. Saddos? Pay attention. REAL men feel pain and give hugs. ’Kay? Image: Getty Images/Daylife

Morning team! With a  magnificent week of football ahead, it is vital that you are fully conversant with the events in the major European leagues over the weekend. Several alternative sites would be happy, nay thrilled, to supply you with this information.

If you require a little more from your Weekend Results, such as  incidents of manlove, facial hair related intrigue and the gratuitous exposure of abdominal muscles, you need not trouble your mouse hovering index finger any more. Scroll down at your leisure and immerse yourself in the only site that embraces the true meaning of ‘the beautiful game’.

You are with friends now.


Abou Diaby makes the most of a rare opportunity to show us what he’s made of. Image: Getty Images/Zimbio

If you support a team in the EPL whose name begins with ‘W’ and do not live in the pleasant environs of West Bromwich, chances are you are not a happy bunny this morning. Yes, West Ham, Wolverhampton Wanderers and Wigan Athletic all find themselves in the shadow of relegation after losing vital matches and although there are only seven points between twentieth place and eleventh, things are looking very gloomy.

The stand out fixture of the three was Bolton’s 3-0 stomp of West Ham, which prompted Bolton’s Zat Knight to comfort West Ham’s Chief Twit Carlton Cole with such tenderness we may never get over it. Chelsea took a while to stamp their authority over Wigan but eventually came away with a 1-0 win, while Wolves lost 3-0 at home to Everton. Not everyone was thrilled about this though; Jermaine Beckford took exception to being subbed by manager David Moyes in the second half and decided to tell him so. Whoops.

Spurs recovered from their Champions League disaster in midweek by beating Stoke 3-2, Peter Crouch offering a small apology for his sending off in that game with two goals, while Luka Modric got the third. West Brom beat Sunderland by the same scoreline, prompting further calls for manager Sunderland manager Steve Bruce to be sacked.

Elsewhere, Manchester United consolidated their position at the top with a comfortable 2-0 win over Fulham, Arsenal keeping up the pace with a 3-1 victory over a resilient Blackpool. Manchester City could leapfrog Chelsea this evening if they beat Liverpool.

Oh. And Fernando Torres didn’t score, prompting speculation that Roman Abramovich is considering selling the former Liverpool striker in the summer. Errr… pardon?

La Liga

He’s back and scoring, but all the speculation is about his beard. And we thought we were the only ones with a facial hair obsession… Image: AP Photo/Daylife

With both Barcelona and Real Madrid collecting the three points necessary to maintain the gap at the top of the table, the big result in La Liga this weekend was Valencia’s 5-0 battering of rivals Villarreal. Roberto Soldado, who bagged four in last week’s fixture against Getafe, scored another brace in this game, while Juan Mata (left) also got two and Ever Banega one. Valencia are six points clear of the Yellow Submarine now, and look certain to finish in the coveted third place.

Image: Getty Images/Daylife

Sevilla drew 2-2 with Mallorca to take fifth while Atletico Madrid beat Real Sociedad 3-0 and join Real Madrid’s victims Athletic Bilbao on forty five points.

But before Barca fans perform the Kickette Victory Dance™ (please remember we take no responsibility for any police intervention that arises from this), we must mourn the injury to Baby Bojan, whose season is thought to be over after he suffered a serious knee injury during his side’s win over Almeria. On the plus side, he won’t have to train with Justin Bieber anymore.

Serie A

Daniele De Rossi. He’s mad, he is. Image: Getty Images/Zimbio

Goals from Clarence Seedorf and Alexandre Pato were sufficient to give AC Milan the 2-1 result in the side’s game against Fiorentina, despite Zlatan Ibrahimovic’s continuing disciplinery issues (left). Milan maintain their three point lead at the top of the table but there’s no time for relaxation as Napoli continued their amazing march onwards with a 2-0 win away at Bologna and Inter aren’t far behind having beaten Chievo 2-0 on Saturday to stay in third.

Image: Reuters/Daylife

All eyes were on the game at Stadio Friuli, though, where Francesco Totti scored a stoppage time winner to break Udinese hearts and take his team to a comfortable sixth place. He also scored from the spot early in the game, after a Giampiero Pinzi  foul on David Pizarro in the box. Meanwhile, Lazio beat Parma 2-0 and took fourth, whilst Juventus narrowly beat Genoa 3-2 and are seventh.


Manuel Neuer presents his credentials for your viewing pleasure. Image: AP Photo/Daylife

If you’re a Bayern Munich fan, you’re more likely to be reeling from the news that coach Louis van Gaal has been sacked than Bayern’s 1-1 draw against Nuremburg. The decision, which will now lead to the kind of manager merry-go-round one would expect to see in English football, is unlikely to make Bayern’s late charge for the top of the table any easier.

Borussia Dortmund’s 1-1 draw with Hamburg might though. The league leaders were lucky to escape this tie with a point after Ruud van Nistelrooy’s thirty-ninth minute strike remained unanswered for the entire second half. It took a ninety-second minute goal from Jakub ‘Kuba’  Błaszczykowski to even things up and Dortmund’s five point lead will be noted with interest by second placed Bayer Leverkusen, who came from behind to beat St Pauli 2-1.

The ‘We’re sorry, what?’ award goes to Borussia Monchengladbach, who beat Koln 5-1 despite having spent most of the season languishing at the bottom of the table. They’re still at the bottom of the table, but it’s nice for the fans to have something to cheer about at least once a season, no?

Ligue 1

Happy days at Lyon. Sigh. Images: Reuters/Daylife

Three unanswered goals against Lens see Lyon in third position in Ligue 1, a mere five points off the top spot. Is it too late for a drive to the title? It isn’t if Lille make a habit of throwing points away as they did against Monaco this weekend (Gervinho’s (left) sending off for offences against hair didn’t help). The 1-0 away defeat gave Marseille the perfect opportunity to narrow the gap between first and second to one point, but a 2-2 home draw against Toulouse kept it to three. A couple more wins for Lyon could see things become very interesting for the neutral as we move into the final eight games.

Former leaders Rennes look to have taken themselves out of the title race entirely after a 2-0 defeat to Brest pushed them into fourth. It wasn’t a great weekend for Bordeaux either, who continued their patchy run of form with a 0-0 draw at home to Arles-Avignon. Yes, that Arles-Avignon. Who have been bottom all season. We sent the matter to the Kickette ‘Mayhem and Fruit Beverages Dept’ for scientific analysis and they have confirmed that it is unlikely Arles will finish top, despite this astounding draw.

Brilliant work there, ladies.

Can you do better than that, Kickettes? Let’s hope so.

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37 Responses to “Weekend Results: Hot Men Hugging”

  1. Sarah, Madrid says:

    What's wrong with Ibra! He is gonna be booed in San siro, for sure.

  2. Marika says:

    Zlatan is also my main reason to watch Milan`s games. Well, I kind of like the whole team (except Pato) but Zlatan is my sun of the universe. And I still like to think that referees like to give him a leason… I dont mean that there is nothing wrong with his attitude… Still adore him!!!! Confusing, hell yeah….

  3. Rossanera says:

    … then why did you say "boys"?

  4. zztop says:

    my written chinese is kinda rusty but I'm fairly certain the tatoo in the first picture reads
    "golden cow bed"

  5. xbabyshakesx says:

    HOOOOORAY for Arsenal and Real Madrid

  6. Winnie Mata says:

    el clasico this weekend…
    dun dun dun…

  7. BarcaMonica says:

    No more Bojan for the rest of the season :( And he is one of the boys I looked forward of seeing every Saturday or Sunday.

  8. IheartSpain says:

    I highly doubt Chelsea will sell Torres. This was just an unbelievable crap 'news' story.

  9. Sarah, Madrid says:

    I was wondering when will kickette bring out the kaka "bread" thing, I kind like it, Kaka looks like a badass, I am digging it lol. OH what a game, san mames is hard venue and pretty harsh one on us, I thought Real Madrid won effortless without trying to be honest, I know I shouldn't be happy but I saw Iker in that game I miss him ok, I want see more of the guy lol – I mean his saves lol.

    Angelito angelito, my man, he just knows how to play a game, he did and earned 2 legit penatlies without questions, Pirata what an assist, should see more of you too, HALA MADRID. Next classico, yaay! :/

  10. Lashes says:

    YEEAH Liverpool 3 – nil!! Now it's a good weekend even if it is monday, apparently not all mondays are bad :)

  11. Kait says:

    Apparently the replacement for Lehmann was/is Van Persie.

  12. Marie says:

    Another Barca game which i spent almost entirely looking at Pep!
    Poor Bojan just when he was hitting some kind of form this happens, i blame Bieber too!

  13. blitzenTO says:

    I felt SO bad for the Yellow Submarine yesterday, they had such a terrible game. On the other hand, Villareal is still doing great in the Europa League, and YAY for Valencia playing amazingly well! It’s hard when two teams you like play each other.

    Barcelona didn’t have a great game by their standards, but still got a comfortable win to keep the 8-point lead going into El Clasico. I am looking forward to Saturday!

    In other news, Angel Di Maria has broken the record for most number of penalties won by a player in a single season. Make of that what you will.

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      Villrreal always tend to lose alot of their power after playing for Europe, but my boys Soldado and Mata what a game, they were amazing, however 5-0 is still very harsh, I really feel bad for them
      Angel fall easily because of his awkward height and body lol, no I dont mean he dives, he just falls easily.
      I thought that was one of Barcelona worse games to be honest, should be forgetten, I mean for Barcelona fans, anyway what matters +3.

      Funny, how when Ronaldo scores, Messi scored too after dry spell, these two just love to go heads to heads, they are in another league lol.

  14. Lily says:

    Hala Madridddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd!

    Welcome back Kaka, nice to see you without that face hair ;)

    Christiano had a beautiful goal tooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! Also loved his goal celebration with Marcelo!!!!!

    Classico is going to be wonderfulllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll Can't contain my excitement!!!


  15. Jen says:

    All I have to say to Chelsea is"What a waste of money" Ha! I think Fernando has realized that he has lost something in his playing abilities, and is stressed too much to make any goals. He also has let down a hell of a lot of people in the past few months…….in both Red and blue. I think it would be best to go back to Spain, then I could cheer for him again!

    • chay says:

      jen, despite the thumbs down's you've been getting, i quite honestly agree with you as well. He really ought to come back home. the truth of the matter is that he is not playing in top form at all. He was injured a lot last year and so not playing v much, and then this whole switching of teams happened. And as you said, the stress is probably too much for him regarding making a goal.

      I honestly have a reason to watch liverpool again : andy carroll and luis suarez

  16. daisy says:

    piss off bieber! real men only!

  17. lorena_yGp says:

    My boys from Manchester and Barcelona won so I'm happy!!! and why do I have a feeling that I will be watching them both on Wembley ?! :-) ))

    PS + Lyon won!!! :-) ))

  18. hereforthenando says:

    If Abramovich actually sells Fernando Torres this summer, I will eat my collection of photos of shirtless footballers. You don't invest 50 million in a player just to sell him for considerably less without giving him enough of a chance (how much would anyone be willing to pay right now? 15 million?)

    Sorry, Liverpool didn't play this weekend so I don't have much to say re: the matches.

    • JA7 says:

      The possibility of fernando getting sold is realli sad :( like he just started! And yes he should definitely be given a chance..come on it's torres!

    • Mel says:

      He has given him 648 minutes to try to score.

      • hereforthenando says:

        I would be the last person to argue that he has done well. I'm saying that when you make a 50 million investment, you don't give up on them as easy as you would someone else.

  19. Devilish-x says:

    this is kinda last week buuut did any one see patrice evra after the chelsea game? ;-)

  20. ayayay says:

    can`t wait for saturday!!!! EL CLASSICOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
    i think i will get crazy…..too much good-looking guys on one pitch :D :D:D

    • Rossanera says:

      Isn't it Sunday? Do I have the dates mixed up?

      • Leya_S says:

        It's Saturday. I thought it was Sunday, too, and I think it was originally scheduled for Sunday. But ESPN has been saying Saturday, plus foxsoccer.com AND both Barca and Real Madrid websites just changed theirs to Saturday (they had been saying Sunday up until like last week).

      • Rossanera says:

        Thanks, girls!

    • lorena_yGp says:

      multiply that hotness 4x and we have an unbearable April!!! :-) )) my heart is tooo weak!

    • Mrs. Iker :D says:

      i cant wait for wednesday.. the next match between them
      (3 plays left :D D)

  21. JA7 says:

    All i can say is that: ARSENAAAAAAAAAAALLL WON 3 – 1!!!!!!!!!!! MA GUNNERS ARE BACCKK :D :D :D <3 (and ramsey looked SOO ADORABLE when he came on the field and was callin for jack)