June 6th, 2011
Weekend Results: International Idling
We couldn’t have put it better ourselves, Joey. Image: Reuters/Daylife.
We think at this point we’re supposed to offer you a comprehensive write up of all the International and Euro 2012 Qualifying fixtures that FIFA saw fit to throw at us this weekend, but running with the crowd is tough when caught in the thrall of the fashion world’s current predilection for towering heels.
Hence why we’re going to take a metaphorical sit down on the kerb for a breather and a juicebox while you review the things that caught our attention this weekend.
They may or may not include your team’s results and photos of hot players naked.
Euro 2012 Qualifiers
Mario Gomez. A man you can rely on. Images: AP Photo/Daylife.
Congratulations to England fans this morning, who will are sure will be fully appreciative of their team’s selfless campaign to improve the confidence of ‘smaller’ European sides by allowing them to dominate large parts of games and pick up useful points in qualifying matches.
Switzerland drew 2-2 with Fabio Capello’s underwhelming troupe, having taken a 2-0 lead in the first half. Joe Hart was arguably at fault for the goals, but aside from the fact that he’s hot and therefore likely to receive an easy ride from us, it would be wrong to blame him when Darren Bent missed easy chances at the other end and the entire defence looked shaky.
Frank Lampard, Ashley Young and a 1-1 draw in the other Group G match between Bulgaria and Montenegro spared England from the ignominy of losing top spot in the table, but on goal difference alone.
We feel this may come up.
Elsewhere, Italy consolidated a five point lead at the top of Group C with a 3-0 victory over Estonia, while France have a four point lead atop Group D despite drawing 1-1 with Belarus. Two Mario Gomez goals ensured three points for Germany in a tough fixture against Austria, but we figure that they can afford to play poorly, being seven points clear of er… Belgium in Group A.
Sweden are still playing catch-up in Group E having beaten Moldova 4-1.
In a quick straw poll of the Kickette office, 4 out of 5 staff said they would happily replace Eric Lichaj in this photograph. The other one has spent the weekend researching what happens if you drink three jugs of Pimms on your own and is not currently available for comment.
Well, maybe we should head this section up as ‘USA 0-4 Spain’, as although many other peculiar results caught our magpie-like attention , it’s blatantly this one that dominated our thoughts. And we thought that it’s probably better that you Argentina fans don’t dwell on your last two sets of results.
Villarreal winger Santi Cazorla, Sevilla striker Alvaro Negredo and part-time Chelsea forward Fernando Torres did the damage against a USA team that clearly missed the potent power of Landon Donovan and Carlos Bocanegra. Kickette representatives who attended the game reported ‘little to no’ hot action, but to be fair, their judgment skills *may* have been impaired.
We generally prefer not to know about that side of things, though.
It’s more than likely that your NT is celebrating a spectacular victory and we failed to mention it. Your job is now to roundly admonish us for failing to fulfill our promises. Again.