September 5th, 2011

Weekend Results: International Incidents

An eleven goal margin of victory deserves a special celebration. And Robin van Persie and Klaas-Jan Huntelaar certainly pulled out all the stops for their interpretation of Torvill & Dean’s ‘Bolero’. Image: AP Photo/Daylife.

Are you worried because you missed all of the important events from the weekend’s Euro 2012 qualifying games and random internationals, people? Well, fear not, because via our brand of smart-arse, easy-to-digest snark, you will be up to date within ten minutes.

Obviously not with anything remotely football related, but if you will insist on coming here…


Albania 1-2 France

We’re hoping that for his sake, Franck Ribery’s free kick technique complied with Samir Nasri’s stringent specifications. We wouldn’t want to see any tantrums. Image: AP Photo/Vadim Ghirda.


Bulgaria 0-3 England

Wayne Rooney is on something of a scoring streak since his hair transplant a few months ago, lending weight to the argument that hair confidence equals player confidence. Are you watching, Fernando? Image: Getty Images/Zimbio.


Faroe Islands 0-1 Italy

The margin of victory in the Faroe Island vs. Italy game was very narrow. As was the line between legitimate tackling and a serious invasion of Antonio Cassano’s personal space. Image: REUTERS/Andrija Ilic.


Germany 6-2 Austria

Is it just us, or does Bambi seem to be a little more free with his shirt-removal-related favours lately? We likey. Image:  AP Photo/Frank Augstein.


Hungary 2-1 Sweden

While we admire the bravery of the referee in giving Mr Ibrahimovic a yellow card in Sweden’s 2-1 defeat to Hungary, we wonder whether he will ever be able to walk down a dark alley without fear again. Image: REUTERS/Laszlo Balogh.


Malta 1-3 Croatia

Well, hello there, Dejan Lovren. Where the hell have you been all our lives? Image: Reuters/Daylife.


Rep of Ireland 0-0 Slovakia

While we appreciate the effort you went to on our behalf, Martin Skrtl, we can’t help but wonder whether we would’ve felt better if we hadn’t been exposed to your eclectic artwork. Ahem. Image: REUTERS/Russell Cheyne.



Spain 3-2 Chile

Oh good. We were hoping that the antagonism in certain La Liga games would catch on in international fixtures.


USA 0-1 Costa Rica

Landy-Cakes articulates US frustration at their defeat far more articulately than we ever could. Image: ROBYN BECK/AFP/Getty Images.


What do you want to yell about, Kickettes? Need we ask…

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77 Responses to “Weekend Results: International Incidents”

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  6. sogourk says:

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  7. Mrs. Q.Borri says:

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  8. Tanyddraig says:

    Why no mention of the Wales match? :-( My country exists as well as England and HELLO! Mr Ramsey gets a goal….Ding dong!

  9. Agnes Wonka says:

    I hope England and Portugal play in the Eurocup as great as they're doing now.
    Wayne's hair looks…..different.

  10. Guest says:

    While the US lost that game, it was some of the best soccer I've seen them play in well, EVER. EVER.

    Jurgen is making changes and we need to give it more than two games to see what will happen. Hell, Deuce and LD haven't been on the pitch together yet!

    I'll start getting concerned in 2012, but for now, we look like we're heading in the right direction. Here's to hoping for a win tomorrow, and even if not, some progress.

    • DebS says:

      It was an amazing game…much improved over the team under Bradley. I think Bradley's biggest problems were 1) not having a regular line up and 2) not knowing or playing the guys' strengths. I'm glad Jurgen played Torres. I really like that guy. I thought he did a really good job when Bob played him but then that one time was the last time I remember Bob playing him.

      I have high hopes after seeing their game against Costa Rica…even if we didn't win.

    • April says:

      Right… I guess what bums me out though is that they have taken down the player pool. All the previous USMNT guys that were called up in the past but not yet under Klinsmann? No longer USMNT. For instance, you cannot call Stu Holden that (though I am sure he will get his call up when he is better, and if not, I'll have to take some names). Jay DeMerit is now "former USMNT player". Stuff like that…

      It's hard for me to see guys that worked terribly hard for their country last year just get left off the possibility of being called up this year, especially if their MLS teams aren't doing well, despite their best efforts (which is the case for a few of them). At that rate, I'd rather just see our USMNT members all go International and play minutes on stronger teams, if that is what it is going to take.

  11. Fcbfan says:

    I saw the Spain vs Chile match. So glad the spanish team won and my boy Cesc made two goals. The highlight of the match was that fight! It made my day haha! I even yelled to my mom to come and watch it XD

  12. ChristinaLFP says:

    i love how all of my Real Madrid boys are so tan, Bambi is at least 4 tones darker than normal.

  13. littlegreenpea says:

    HEY!! what about the Mexico-Chile game!!

    • DebS says:

      I was just thinking that. How about that golazo?! Amazing stuff. I was glad to see Chicarito come on in the 2nd half but they couldn't seem to get him the ball.

  14. xbabyshakesx says:

    WOOO WHOOOOO! Go RvP!!!!! and Germany i'm rooting for you!

  15. gillianrosh says:

    Bambi is steadily moving from adorable territory into straight up Hotnessville! I support this wholeheartedly!

  16. Kristina says:

    Whazzup with the spaniards? Don't get enough action in La liga? Someone should have a long good talk to them, they're acting like a bunch of spoilt kids. Iniesta was magical to watch though.

    Luckily they are pretty small most of them. I'm just imagining Zlatan (who now weigh more than 100 kilo pure muscle), Elmander, Toivonen and Majstorovic in the Swedish NT, doing the same thing. You don't push those guys around. Unfortunately they put up a pretty crappy performance. But they didn't fight.

  17. bri_saldana says:

    Oh lord Jesus….Pepe Reina just makes me quiver inside. Did anyone else notice just how powerful he was breaking up that ugly spat at the end of the Costa Rica/Espana game? God I wish I was "no-nonsense" man-handled by him….*sigh*

  18. Kelly says:

    Okay first of all why no Portugal? Cristiano 2 goals and an assist and looked sexy as hell silencing the fans boos and chants. I think hanging around CR7 is having an effect on Mesut Ozil…tanned, shirtless, and scoring.

  19. April says:

    So, I know Jurgen Klinsmann is testing out players, but to see the previous player pool dropped and no new ones created, and some of our talented players going be the wayside just because they were held in high regard under Bradley's regime bothers me. Now, I love me some Feilhaber for viewing purposes, but I also find him to be one of our better midfield options, especially off the bench (as much as he would love to start). Why he hasn't been included is beyond me. So the Revs suck right now… the REVS suck… not Benny. It is not for his lack of trying, but it's an 11 man game.

    Will be interesting to see if Holden gets a chance when he returns to top form. I would love to see Davies get brought in too, if only to be on the bench. Why? Because I think we are contributing to the lack of confidence in some of our best players after we've encouraged them to come back to the States for MLS. Let's face it, few MLS teams can compete with the other leagues, so these guys need their playing time and International competition.

    I do agree with Pearce over Bornstein lately, but was missing Lichaj (he seems to be a young defender that is growing into the game nicely). Haven't seen DeMerit's form since his recent injury, but I will argue that he was a top defender for us last summer.

    Will be interesting to see what happens in the next year or so, but I do hope Klinsmann doesn't try so hard for making his own team and brand that he forgets that our World Cup side didn't have the worst chemistry ever, and that bringing in a number of those players is not a bad idea (seeing as he already has most of the oldest members in his pool). Okay…. enough from me on this one!

    • Sara P says:

      Can not wait to see Holden back on the pitch!!! I also think that Benny should be brought in….but I am exciting at some of the new prospects as well. I am loving the Robbie-Brek combo…absolutely loving it and their chemistry is electric! I am still feeling out Agudelo as well as Altidore. I think that they are both excellent players but they never seem to contribute to the team when we need them to. I cant wait until our actual qualifiers….when we can get the whole team back together and see how Dempsey and Lando play off one another under Jurgen!!!

      • April says:

        I really like Agudelo… he has a good pep in his step. Altidore got a little lax for awhile, but from what I understand, he's been stepping up his game. I sure hope… I hate to see any of our recent players lose spots on the team or player pool. Pretty psyched for Holden again too.. he has such a good mood for the team too.

    • April says:

      Haha… Klinsmann came on and thumbs-downed me! ;)

      Well, just goes to show that that is what I get for putting some actual football thoughts on here. But for those fans that want to embrace and not question the new coach so quickly, to each his own. We've lost two games under him so far, and while I will give him time, I will continue to inspect the roster very closely! My duty as a fan, if you ask me.

  20. IrishBlue says:

    I was at the Ireland-Slovakia match and came home disappointed. My gawping at the real-life-in-the-flesh sight of Kevin Doyle (although he didn't play well) made the experience slightly better, although I don't think my boyfriend sitting beside me appreciated me doing that….We played rubbish, the football was boring apart from maybe the last few minutes when Stephen Hunt came on. I hope Euro qualification isn't slipping away like I feel it could be, I'll see how I feel after the Russia match on Tuesday.

    Positive thoughts: That Croatian guy up there is hot.

  21. Cris_7 says:

    i missed the Spain 3-2 Chile game but i saw the reviews and cescii definitely deserved to be captain. The Germany 6-2 Austria was a great game Ozil was shinning same as Podolski and Klose! Our Bambi is getting hotter and better everyday there's such a bright future for him with real madrid and this unstoppable german team!

  22. Sergz says:

    Zlatan. Cut your hair and shave. Please.

  23. Gladys says:

    Woohoo, Croatia!!!!

    And as for Chile and Spain, with some of that behavior I actually began cheering for Chile towards the end (to add to indignities, the team's hotel rooms got robbed). Abrazos to Cesc, Alexis, Pepe, and Iker for trying to make peace during the fracas. But most of all to Javi Martinez (he actually put his arm around Alexis during the first altercation) and Santi Cazorla (who took a painful and dangerous leg knock from a nasty foul and still managed to shake hands with Chile in the middle of the brawl) for their sportsman-like behavior. Pardon my terrible Spanish pun, but Santi is a saint!

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      Santi I would have run and gave him a big big abruzo too! I love him! Of course then stole away iker :p

    • April says:

      Yes… I forgot to mention that Iker did go in to shake hands and make sure to get his players out along with Pepe grabbing him. And Santi was a class act, as he actually had a reason to be upset but showed true sportsmanship.

      I love Fernando, but as the guy wearing Spain's armband (granted he didnt plan on that), I had wished he got in there a little sooner to clear things up. He eventually did, pulling Chile's #8 to the side for a quick chat then grabbing Busquets and Valdes later, but he should have been the first one in there to break things up. Pepe was all over that situation though!

    • Kristina says:

      Yep, some of the guys behaved.

    • DebS says:

      I'm not sure what was said to Iniesta but it had to be pretty bad. I don't remember him getting into it with anyone that often. Usually he's one of the cool headed ones. I was impressed with Santi & Cesc for keeping their heads and trying to calm people down. Also Llorente who came out to try and calm things down.

      I sincerely hope Pep considers letting Cesc handle some of the interviews for Barca. He seems to have a knack for saying things without polarizing it.

      • Gladys says:

        I agree with you about Cesc. I don't know why, but for some reason I always thought of him as a sort of over-sleeping, donut-loving fluffhead, but his comments are really balanced and considerate. He was so diplomatic after the last El Clasico fracas. I feel like I owe him an apology. ;)

  24. Dutchgooner89 says:

    I knew when RVP scored in the 6th minute that it would have been a long night for San Marino but i wasnt expecting shipping in 11 goals. I mean i know the gap between the two teams is gigantic but they completely fell apart, i was so busy celebrating each goal that i started feeling sorry when i was watching the highlights…I know how they feel (when ManU spanked us last week), good to see RVP scoring 4 this hopefully will soften the blow of what he endured last weekend lol…Hup Holland Hup

    • GlamGooner says:

      Hope our gunners can transfer their cracking international form (sure you heard bout Ramsey goal for Wales & new signing Ju's hattrick) into league form! Hup hup :)

    • DebS says:

      I was planning to watch the game on replay at but then I saw the score. I couldn't bring myself to watch it after that….poor San Marino. I can't imagine what that did to their self confidence. I do understand that goal differential is part of the equation but 11 goals?! :'( Come on coach…have some mercy. I mean the poor country is only 30,000 people. That's about 1/2 the population in my city. Meanwhile the Netherlands has almost 17 million.

  25. Ashley says:

    Where's the Portugal score?

  26. Futball says:

    OMG Mesut Ozil, you're so sexy

  27. Sarah, Madrid says:

    The brawl is just shameful, the way media twist it to make look like it is ok if you are fighting for your international teammates but against them then we have a problem. The biggest joke of all, someone went far by accusing VDB of trying to bond his players by asking them to fight foe each other ( although I could totally picture Ramos and Valdez in the back giggling and telling each other, oh it is definitely our scene mister!)
    like seriously, if actually Mr. Del bosque asked his players to do, wouldnt he have called Pinto? Seriously.
    Anyway, game was very intense, defense is bad, Javi is not to be blamed he is not a Cb, but albiol i am worried for him, one year ago this guy was solid for us, iniesta I personally think he is one if these talents that football rarely produce like Maradna, Grande Iniesta!
    About the rest, I just love Oh-ozil, shirtless hot tanned and scoring goals, what we order and benzene is just stepping up every time he is playing, great weekend indeed. Holland Win a festival where Capi Persie was leading the show.
    Btw, argentine vs Venezuela, awful friendly!

    • NCR says:

      erm … Pinto is Argentinian isnt he?

      plus im sure what have been said in the media – Del Bosque asking his players to fight as a bonding exercise – was only a humoristic/sarcastic attempt at increasing readership of whatever journo, blog … shouldnt take it that seriously …

      Plus i personally thought it was kinda funny

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        Well, he is spainsh, I this is what I know, he has been in Spain for so long now!
        I thought it was ridiculous because media keeping asking of how is everything in the national team, then saying that fight is a prove that we are good and all happy! It is like they needed this fight as prove and kind excusing it!

    • April says:

      Right? Notice that Pepe, Nando, and Fabregas were the ones trying to pull players out initially. Granted Cesc is in La Liga now, but I find it an interesting day when it is the Premier League (aka the supposedly more physical league) that is looking upon a brawl that includes their teammates with some shame. Not that this happens regularly in the EPL, but I do find it strange.

      Honestly, Arbeloa was in the wrong… as Andres started the little face-to-face they should have let him and Chile's #8 (Valdes?) get their little miffed moment off their chests and let the game finish. Then Busquets really took it too far, and Ramos just came in shoving whoever he could. I actually felt for Chile, because there was no reason to attack them quite like that, though I had wished they all just walked off and shook their heads at it to come out looking the better.

      Otherwise the game was a fun one to watch in that it was a nail-biter. Was good to see Cesc enjoy his game and link up some with Nando, though I personally wouldn't have minded seeing Mata get a chance to do so either. Maybe tomorrow?

      • April says:

        le sigh: "the Premier League *players" is what I meant

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        They are bit experienced for it you know, liga players knows their way well in these brawls certain liga players I thought cesc was involved I saw pepe and iker pulling him, but he shaked hands and made peace after ward, cesc looks so happy isn't he? And very comfortable too with iniesta! I too wished to see mata :(
        About Ramos, I kind went ole! After seeing him running and hitting this guy.

        • April says:

          Cesc actually was pulling players aside to calm them and got stuck in the fight after Busquets went in… he was then trying to separate people. Some Chilean tried riling him up toward the end but he didn't really have it, and by that moment, I think that Pepe thought Iker and Cesc were involved and just started pulling any Spain NT player he could out, and Iker followed suit.

          For some reason I watched this more than I should have, but I knew there would be much speculation over the Liga players involved, so figured I would do a little analyzing myself. I felt Cesc handled it pretty well and while he is suggesting Iniesta should be the future leader, honestly, that was a first time I saw Iniesta act like he doesn't really deserve that promotion.

          And yes… on a personal note I am very keen to see Mata and Fernando play together for Spain, to see if their chemistry between club and NT can flourish. Mata did wonderfully in the 20 or so minutes he played for Chelsea- was easily the best player of the match at that. He also linked up nicely with Nando for a cross and header attempt on goal that was pretty (though ultimately the ball was a little too on target as it went straight to the keeper). I thought we'd get to see him as a result, especially after the first half went soooo poorly.

          • Sarah, Madrid says:

            I dont think one thing define Iniesta, a leader could be inloved in brawls, it happens! Iniesta is so sweet for it, that's the surprising part, he was not that invloved even. as far as I saw because I just saw it when the game was on, I didnt want to see it again!, Yes that's the problem with these brawls, you get caught up in the middle of it, when you have nothing to do. I admired Santi he is the one walking around shaking hands with everyone, a beautiful scene honestly. I really dont want to talk about the bad side of it, let's focus postive, Santi, pepe and Iker!..Nando was observing with I am too cool for this now!
            I get it for Chelesa fan, yes it would have been good to see how these 2 work.

            • April says:

              Positives are good… Iniesta is the engine for the midfield lately, and he is young yet and has room to grow. Pepe being able to pick up in goal and letting Iker have a break to get the first half off his mind is good too (a solid backup is never a bad thing). And Cesc coming in to show he is worth his salt on the NT is a big plus for his recent naysayers suggesting he would sit on the bench for both teams following his move. Good on him!

          • DebS says:

            I'm keen to see how Mata & Torres play together too. It should help them out a lot that they've played on the National Team together as they'll have familiarity with each other. If Mata has even half the impact that Silva's had for City, it will be a great signing for Chelsea.

            Speaking of Silva, I have to say he was man of the match for me until Cesc & Iniesta came in. I just love the way that kid plays.

            • Siv says:

              I love the way Silva plays too! Most underrated player of Euro 2008!

            • Sarah, Madrid says:

              Silva has been my fav since I dn't even remember, the problem with him he easily injured, but in euro said again and agin, him and senna were the core of the team.

  28. Jade says:

    Forza Holland! We did a drinking game (you have to pick a piece of paper out of a bowl with a player's name on it and whenever the commentator says that name you have to shot), unfortunately we had about 90% possession so we were out of bottles in half time… It was fun though. :)

  29. Miss Lampard says:

    F**k off Fabio Capello and his choices between the midfielders. I can't stand seeing a classy player, Lampsy on the bench while on the field are playing people like Scott Parker or Gareth Barry. Ok, I have nothing against them, and he tried to find an excuse saying "Barry was more fit than Lampard", but you can't compare Frank Lampard or Steven Gerrard with them. It's not a question of age this time because also Parker and Barry are over 30, but a question of choice. I know very well Capello's mentality and ideas, I grew up also with them, so please doesn't tell me this tale, I do no more believe! Lampsy needs to play, hope to see him on the pitch tomorrow against Wales.

    • Sergz says:

      Okay, you love Lampard. But why bitch at Capello? He made his choice, it's his job so he makes the decisions, and England won 0-3. So what's your problem? His strategy obviously worked. Maybe he's trying to rotate the squad so more players get more time on the pitch? :P

      • Miss Lampard says:

        I know that this is his job, simply because I'm here, and he trains England, and I can't complain about England's victory, because 3-0 is a fantastic score, for everyone. But I'm Italian and I saw the experiences of Fabio Capello, when he trained Roma, Juventus and also Real Madrid, I know very well what he had done in the past with so many others players. Also when he arrived in 2008 in England, he soon left David Beckham at home, and I think that at the time he was 34. It's hard for me to accept, because I really love Lampsy, but according to Gary Neville (I've read his opinion on Daily Mail) this is only the beginning. Yes, his strategy this time worked, but even it's the past, I cannot completely forget the World Cup in South Africa…

    • April says:

      Honestly, I think it was a tough decision to make and one that AVB has yet to make, but may have to. I think there is no question that Lampard is class and has and probably still will be an important player for England's side, but he doesn't appear fully fit in the even the easier Chelsea games (penalties aside). Quite honestly, he may have to start competing for his current position against Meireles or Mata, or at least settle for getting shifted left or something. I think maybe this recent benching might even help give him the fuel he needs to push for his roles, so it could be a blessing in disguise.

  30. essjay says:

    The USA – Costa Rica score is wrong, ladies! Haha

    Also. I think I kinda like that England kit! So over their usual white kit…

  31. Hot4Spurs says:

    I knew it was too good to be true that Chile was up 2-0! My dear USA, what are you missing? They were looking like the better team but just couldn't get one in.

    • Lostres says:

      Hoping time will grow them to some degree but we have wasted years not bringing in some younger players to help learn and study under our vet team. There were some good shots on goal but we just seemed like we were off by a few inches on each shot. Inches loose and win a game. It was so PAINFUL to watch!!!

  32. Kat22 says:

    Didn't watch the Netherlands game, but wow – what a result! Big big congrats!

    On a separate note – I think Arbeloa should hang his head in shame for that disgusting dive. Unbelievable.

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      Already Spain are accused Off diving, certainly didn't help the case here!

      • Kat22 says:

        You're right. I think it's such a shame when a talented team has to resort to such dirty tactics. Spoils the whole game.

      • DebS says:

        Of all people, I never expected it from Arbeloa. When I watched the replay, which was from another angle, I'm thinking, he barely touched Arbeloa. But then the commentator said nothing about him "going down too easily" so I figured I must have just missed it. I mean it did look like the Chilean MAY have caught his trialing foot but…definitely not enough to be a foul, imo. :

    • April says:

      It was definitely not the call that should have been made. Now, there was a very slight touch on his toe, but he fell well after and there was no real attempt on the man and the Chile player had tried to withdraw from the challenge. I was actually bummed to see that it was that call that led to Spain's comeback win… would have settled for a comeback draw under legit terms. It almost looked like some of Spain's own team watched that call and were surprised to get it in their favor.