December 14th, 2009
Weekend Results: Personal Space
T’was a wonderful footy weekend involving grown men touching each other. Personal space on the pitch was at a premium, with many guys showering affection unto each other. Some of it was hot. Some of it was not.
For two action-packed days, we bore witness to uninvited cheek-to-cheek action (Bobby Zamora, Fulham; David Nugent, Burnley), in-yo-face lecturing (Daniel Agger & Steven Gerrard, Liverpool; The Ref; Andrey Arshavin, Arsenal) and earlobe caressing (Diego De Ascentis, Atalanta).
Which groping was uncomfortable and which TLC was much appreciated – by us at least? We’re so glad you asked…
Chucho (Birmingham City) showed what “I’ll never let go” really means to Alessandro (West Ham)…Sappy struggling is *not hot*
Fernando Torres got “the works” from teammates Steven Gerrard and Dirk Kuyt (Liverpool)…2/3 of this threesome is *hot*
Adebayor (Man City) mistakenly took Gary Cahill (Bolton) for a mechanical bull…Gary’s butt makes this *kinda hot*
Andres Iniesta fell victim to Zlatan’s Axe body spray (Barcelona)…Being semi-alert is *not hot*
Fabio Firmani fist-pumped in delight for Tommaso Rocchi’s butt-clenching hip thrusts (Lazio)…Celebrating your teammate’s pelvis contact is *weirdly hot*
Kamil Zayatte (Hull) rested his eyes in the crevice of Franco Di Santo’s neck (Blackburn)… Comotose is definitely *never hot*
Poor Niko Kranjcar (Tottenham) had no one to lean on… Expressing emotion about being the odd man out when you’re a fine specimen of man-meat is *really hot*
How was the weekend for you?