January 31st, 2011

Weekend Results: Pointy Fingers & Pretences

Another volunteer for the Kickette nudey calender? Step this way please, Mr Eto’0. And please remove your shorts. Getty Images/Zimbio)

In the spirit of inconsistency that we like to think has become our byword of late, we chose to ignore the Coupe de France results last week in favour of an early lunch and cocktails. This week, we are  going to provide you with a rundown of the English FA Cup results in place of the EPL, risking a late lunch and moodiness throughout the rest of the day.

All complaints at our cavalier attitude toward European domestic cup competition should be addressed thusly: Person In Charge, Dept of Whothehellcares, Kickette Office, The Pub, Chiswick.

Thanks for your interest!

English FA Cup

The gods of football saw fit to suspend the EPL fixtures this weekend to help us avoid any transfer related Spanish boy wranglings, but we confess, it’s going to be hard to get through a whole post without mentioning it. Whoops.

Moving swiftly on, the FA Cup threw up one or two surprises this weekend (as it is wont to do) but results largely went to form. After a short scare, Arsenal beat League 1 side Huddersfield by two goals to one, an early Huddersfield own goal cancelled out firstly by Sebastien Squillaci’s sending off, then Alan Lee’s second half equaliser. It was down to Captain Cescy to sort it out, a late penalty saving Arsenal’s blushes. They play Leyton Orient away in the fifth round. (Image via elpais.com)

Fellow North Londoners’ Spurs were not so fortunate however; they were smashed 4-0 by Fulham, all the goals scored in the first half. Two fouls in the penalty area, the second sufficient to see Michael Dawson sent off, allowed Danny Murphy to slot two penalties home. Brede Hangeland and Moussa Dembele did the rest, landing themselves with a tie against either Bolton or Wigan, depending on who wins their replay. The first tie was a 0-0 draw.

Chelsea vs. Everton and Notts County vs. Manchester City will also require replays, both fixtures ending 1-1.

We don’t usually have much cause to mention non-league Crawley Town (left) on Kickette. But they forced themselves onto our radar this weekend with a shock 1-0 away win against Torquay United. Why should you care, we hear you ask? Because they drew Manchester United at Old Trafford in the next round, y’see. We’ve already sent the interns into the cellar to dust off all of our favourite clichés for the occasion; expect to see much ‘giantkilling’ and mention of ‘minnows’ in our report. Hurrah!

La Liga

We were planning to lead with Sevilla’s 3-3 draw with Deportivo La Coruna this weekend, on the grounds that a few of you have pointed out we never mention them and we’re in quite a good mood. Then Real Madrid lost to Osasuna and the world turned upside down.

The 1-0 defeat for Mou’s team leaves them seven points behind Barcelona, whose imperious form continued with a 3-0 win over Hercules (the man on the left scored not one, but two. Again). Those in the know (‘proper’ football journalists etc) reckon that Real’s title chances are ovah - a matter we feel certain will not cause any arguing in our comments section. Sigh. (AP Photo/Daylife)

Villarreal’s 1-0 win over Espanyol maintained their position of third in the table, while Athletic Bilbao drew away from near rivals Atletico Madrid by beating them 2-0.

Malaga and Levante both lost their games and consequently prop up the table. That’ll teach ‘em.


Borussia Dortmund also look unchallenged at the top of their table; a comprehensive 3-0 win over Wolfsburg taking them a virtually unassailable eleven points clear. Closest rivals Bayer Leverkusen beat Hannover 96 by two goals to nil, leaving Hannover in fifth place.

Inexorably rising up the table after a poor start have been Bayern Munich, their latest win (3-1 away at Werder Bremen) puts them in third. Arjen Robben is back in the goals, but honours must be offered to Per Mertesacker who helpfully contributed a goal to both sides.

Despite a 1-0 victory at Eintracht Frankfurt, Borussia Monchengladbach remain rooted to the bottom of the table on sixteen points. They share their unenviable position with Vfb Stuttgart, who lost to Freiburg by the same margin.

Ligue 1

Back with a full fixture schedule after a winter break, Arles-Avignon began the new year as they finished the last. Yes, they were beaten; this time 2-1 by Paris St Germain. We realise that our continuing coverage of their travails may be placing undue pressure on them, but after an editorial meeting we have decided to continue covering them. It’s like a drug to us, you see.

At the other end of the table, (a place that the Arles players have only heard rumour of), Lille sit proudly, a 1-0 win over Lens giving them the three points. Tulio De Melo scored and flashed his tum to celebrate (left). Lyon are in third despite a 2-1 defeat to Valenciennes, and Rennes slip to fourth after a heavy 5-1 defeat to tenth place Sochaux. (Reuters/Daylife)

That has got to hurt.

Serie A

Inter Milan’s 3-2 victory over Palermo came via a Samuel Eto’o penalty, a result we are pleased with as it led directly to a topless moment (top); something increasingly hard to find with that pesky yellow card for taking ones’ shirt off rule. Inter are now on thirty eight points alongside Roma.

Edinson Cavani (left) scored his second hat trick of the season and took his tally to a massive seventeen goals in Napoli’s 4-0 win over Sampdoria, whilst Juventus slipped to seventh after a 2-1 defeat to Udinese. (Reuters/Daylife)

AC Milan’s new signing Mark Van Bommel managed to make a splash on his debut; unfortunately it was directly into an early bath after he was sent off in Milan’s 2-0 win over Catania. Goals from Robinho and Zlatan Ibrahimovic (who else?) confirmed the Rossoneri’s position at the top of the league, they are currently four points clear.

‘On topic without too much snarking’ is the order of the day in the comments please, Kickettes. Make us proud.

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74 Responses to “Weekend Results: Pointy Fingers & Pretences”

  1. Today has without doubt been a reasonably dismal day for Nintendo workers, shareholders and fans alike. As we have a tendency to discovered earlier in the day, Nintendo are financially not during a sensible place. With Satoru Iwata later adding that he has no intention of stepping down. Nintendo Feed takes a flash to explore Nintendo's choices currently, wherever is that the way forward? Nintendo ought to originate some pretty drastic change.

  2. tool steel says:

    Your place is valueble for me. Thanks!…

  3. Winnie Mata says:

    seriously…this la liga season has officially ended for me.
    first Adepayor's coming (yes, i am aware i spelt it incorrectly, i did so for a reason),
    and now we lose…to a team that we have no business losing to.
    i refuse to have faith in them. i will now pray that Barcelona falls apart.
    yes…that's the only way dammit. we're sure all hell not gonna win by our own doing,
    that's for damn sure.

    • Emme says:

      This whole Adebayor signing is ridiculous.,…….ugh. It is not the answer. I have to say it would be slightly amusing to see Barcelona completely self-destruct. Not that it would actually happen.

      • Winnie Mata says:

        it won't happen. they've practically won it already.
        i can't even begin to imagine what it would take for them to slip up
        it seems like waaaayyyy too much would have to go wrong
        but it WILL be interesting to see what happens to them when Pep leaves.
        i honestly was the happiest girl when i read that lol
        sounds evil, i know, but seriously, it made me grin real big

  4. Emme says:

    Okay, did not get a chance to watch the Real Madrid match or read any post-match articles, so I cannot say much. But what I can say is that it sucks that they lost b/c they're my team, but I'll love them no matter what (even if Sergio wore green jeans w/ orange stripes with that awful sweater from the Christmas dinner). What really sucks is that is if this were any other elite team in a European top flight, this would just be a loss and not the apocalypse as we know, but it's La Liga where no teams ever seem to matter except RM & Barca. It's really irritating. Didn't Roma start out really poorly & now they are up towards the top? Maybe I am wrong, but if this were in any other league, a loss would be scrutinized & there would be a lot of criticism, but having two losses so far this season would not lead people to question whether a coach should be fired, etc, etc.. It's almost like there is not a purpose for La Liga except for cules and madridistas to bicker. The loss would not bother me that much if it wasn't for the whole financial disparities & lack of competition in La LIga. It is just so maddening!!!!!!!

    Okay, sorry for the rant! I want to say something nice, so I will say that Giuseppe Rossi's strike against Espanyol was pretty amazing!!! It really was. Yeay, for the boy born in Jersey!! Also, does anyone know how to get that job this woman in Bologna has holding umbrellas for footballers while they come out to wave to the crowd after a snow cancellation? I'd like to know.

    • Winnie Mata says:

      i can see what you mean, but Roma started off shitty and now they're alright
      now is REALLY not the time for Real Madrid to slip up…i am so disgusted by everything lol

      • Emme says:

        I am purposely avoiding reading any articles about the match and the team, because I just cannot bear the non-sense! lol! Seriously……..they have TWO losses!!!!!! Many teams wish they only had two losses. You're right-they really cannot ef up now! They've just got to suck it up & quiet the haters.
        I really like the team Jose has put together & I do not want to see it broken up just because they don't win La Liga. I don't even care if they win La LIga. It only seems to consist of two teams, so whatever. I am more concerned about Champions League.
        FYI: Florentino Perez – Cultivating a successful & cohesive team takes more than six months! Don't mess this team up! I can't believe how fired up about this I've become. Oh, goodness

  5. lidoli says:

    I was really sad when Real Madrid lost to Osasuna!!!! My poor merenguitos, they deserved a shot at La Liga but I guess its too late now : (

    I hope FP and JV make it easy for Mourinho to stay and coach this team that is full of potential>>>>>

  6. diana says:

    It was a really tough game(and boring at times) for Milan but we managed to win. Oh and Van Bommel was sent off on his in Serie A debut…

    And congrats to Barca leading with 7 pts clear of RM!

  7. Espe says:

    I know it's like 17 matches of La Liga , so is it wrong to congratulate Barcelona with winning the 10/11 season ?

  8. mochara says:

    We can always count on our Cesc to save us! I love him <33 (I know, I know it's sad)

  9. EM. says:

    I immensely dislike Perez and Valdano. They badger Mourinho if he benches Benzema but then when the boys lose, they (and the press) always deem it Mourinho's fault. Seriously, give him a break and look at the way we played, which was fairly awful save some moments here and there. They should let him do rotations (i.e. bring up Morata and start playing Leon when DiMaria is off) so that we aren't overly reliant on any particular player. I would prefer it if we actually started playing like a team again.

    • Adriana says:

      I think one of the reasons Real Madrid lost is because the team was just too tired.
      Nine games in a month is a lot – that's two every week, sometimes more.
      And we're definitely missing Higuain and Pepe and even Marcelo, who wasn't fit to play either.

      It was also an incredibly hostile atmosphere.
      I agree with Ronaldo when he said the people who threw on extra balls and lighters should be fined.
      That kind of behavior should not be tolerated in La Liga!

      • Taylor says:

        I don't know why people would thumb this down, I totally agree! Even Mourinho said the team wasn't used to playing so many matches a month because they haven't gotten this far in Copa Del Rey in seven years. And I think the fans' behavior was absolutely unacceptable! If you really support a team, then you shouldn't have to resort to cheap tricks to help them win.
        I rarely agree with Ronaldo, but he made sense in this case.

    • Um, I have to agree with you there.

      And anything that involves letting Morata (aka the cute cuddly one) play more is the perfect plan to me lol :)

  10. mamaly says:

    Why so much hate against RM.
    Barca is doing oke, so what are you afraid of???

  11. Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

    How come I always agree with every single word you say? We must have been born under the same star. Pedro Pedrito is amazing!! He always works hard, and that in the shadow of the other stars. He has a glow of his own that one.

  12. D0li says:

    I hate the President of Real Madrid. Just because we aren't going to win any titles this year Perez is going to ruin a well developed team and go in debt buying players we don't need and its going to end up like two years ago when KaKa, Ronaldo and Benzema arrived: to many big stars for one team who can't work together as a team. Barcelona have been together for years which is why they are doing so well.. Real Madrid (or more likely Perez) needs to realize this and stop selling and buying like this is some online game! Just because you spend alot on new players every year doesn't mean you will be the better team! They need to develop together and practice or else nothing will happen. I think Mori has done a great job with them and they have played their best in a while which is why they shouldn't buy anymore players and use the ones they have.

    • Paula says:

      I totally agree with you :D

    • Emme says:

      Agree too- Cristiano was worth it. I do not think Benz was ready for the pressure and I hate to say this, but I think Kaka was a mistake. I like the line-up Jose had going this past fall, but after the Clasico their confidence was shaken big-time.

  13. Deanna says:

    GUNNERS ARE IN IT TO WIN IT! Come on my beauties!!!!!!

    No comments on La Liga. All I will say is Hala Madrid.

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  15. blake2108 says:

    I went to Villa V Blackburn on Saturday. Very entertaining game, very sexy players on show, yet hardly any coverage. .

    • Harley says:

      I'm so jealous! You got to see the Villa cuties in person while I couldn't even manage to find the game anywhere on t.v or online. Lucky you!

  16. DeeRoma says:

    Well, the Roma game was postponed due to snow….enough with the snow already! It should be rescheduled for 2/23/11.

    Also Sainte-Etienne got it's first win of 2011 on Saturday.

    • Emme says:

      I caught that Sainte-Etienne match (they're my Ligue 1 team I follow). I have to keep tabs on Captain America!

      And about the Roma match – were you disappointed as well that DDR had a base layer under his kit? I was hoping to see some top-lessnsess in the snow! I'm ridiculous…i know

      • DeeRoma says:

        I didn't catch the ASSE match, don't always follow Captain America action as well as I should.

        Yes, I was disappointed, although he was shirtless for the Coppa Italia matches [The one against Lazio while recovering from a nasty flu bug...obviously common sense flies out the window on a derby win].

        • Emme says:

          Ligue 1 is not the easiest league to follow since I don't have cable, so every so often I will watch a live stream of ASSE. I never understand a word of the broadcast b/c I do not speak French. Oh, the sacrifices for Captain America……He's worth it.

  17. Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

    Thank you Kickette for the Sevilla comment, much appreciate it! What a dramatic game it was!

    And I agree with all the very thoughtful Barca-girls here, this is not the time to gloat. This is the time for a pinch of humility. But i love my Barca!!

  18. Alia says:

    Visca el Barca! <3 and my baby bojan

  19. SoccerrLoverrr says:

    What a weekend! Thank god Cesc came to the rescue for arsenal and im glad dey r on to the fifth round! I'm soooooo heartbroken over nasri's hamstring injury tho *cries* WHY!?!? buh did u guys see that during the match when nasri was down the camera fully zoomed in on his crotch..im like whoaaaaa..i bet that's a cameraWOMAN behind that :P also, it was devastating that tottenham was thrashed by fulham..come on it's fulham! Highlight of my weekend tho: seeing my maroune's beautiful face..that man is something else *sigh*

  20. Lily says:

    It was a sad day yesterday, but then I realized every team has it's bad days… We still have to stick by our team.

    I will still hold on to a very very very thin string of hope that we can win la liga

    Copy Del Rey and Champions league are still in my hopes.

    Congrats to Barca again a well deserved win!

    Hala Madrid!

  21. nandosfreckles says:

    you know even if this season of the LA LIGA carried on for another 5 years, real madrid would never catch up anyway lol :D
    but i was sad for xabi and the ramos- their poor sad faces!
    oh and there was no Bojan in the Barcelona game, so that was too bad :(
    ANYWAY i better shut up now :)

  22. meh says:

    Nando wants to leave, for trophies i guess but, i relli thought better of him, he's lowered my opinion of him by his behviour, and to CHELSEA litterally the scum of the earth apart from spurs of course (arsenal supporter in case you couldn't tell). I know how reds fans must be feeling, its horrible when a star player threatens to leave the club the say they love for the prospect of more trophies…*cough* *cough* Cesc Fabregas (until that fateful day i shall keep my spirits up *weep*). And real madrid r loosing the plot, all those quality players and still not better than barca (for now anyway). Moreover, ARSENAL WINNING and playing well…buh, nasri out so barca may well completely destroy us…think about it, Messi up against Eboue…greeeaaaaat.

    • Winnie Mata says:

      does that really surprise you about Torres though?
      he ditched Atletico for trophies and
      he spurned us for more money at Anfield when he moved to the EPL
      as far as i'm concerned, the title drought at Liverpool serves him right
      i, for one, am disgusted that Chelsea would want him, the way he's been playing lately
      especially because of they way THEY'VE been playing…i doubt he would help matters
      i don't care what people say about him; "face of an angel" and whatnot
      he's an overreacher, and that makes him disloyal in disloyal in my eyes
      club-hopping till he wins something i guess…typical.

      • meh says:

        yeh, to be honest it doesnt make any sense to move to win trophies, when the whole point of being part of a team is to work together to earn ans struggle trophies in your own right, otherwise the satisfaction when one does win an EPL or watever won't be the same…

        • Winnie Mata says:

          it makes me feel like he just wants his name in the pages of history more than anything
          to be a part of a winning squad rather than to have contributed much to it
          that doesn't sit well with me

  23. LAmonkeygirl says:

    Why did my boyfriend Aitor not play? Did I wear him out too much?

  24. Niina says:

    What was up with Cristiano yesterday? Did the pressure really get to him that much, because I haven't seen anyone f**k up so much in one game. His free kicks were abysmal, he was frustrated, he kept rolling on the pitch instead of aiming at the goal… I don't know what's doing, but I hope he gets his act together. Maybe then there's still a chance to stay in the fight.

    • Adriana says:

      It was a frustrating game.
      Maybe he wasn't in particularly good form that night, but a team's fate should not rest on the shoulders of one player.
      It's not fair to blame him for the loss or expect him to single-handedly win the league.
      He's part of a team and it's up to the entire team of Real Madrid to regroup and play better.

  25. Leá says:

    I died on the inside during RMs match yesterday. It is incredibly, incredibly depressing to watch your team implode in front of your eyes.

    The Nando drama has me in a tizzy as well. It's been a hell of a weekend, and not in a good way. :(

    • Thea says:

      the upside is that is means MOUR will be going sooner rather than later!

      • Leá says:

        I actually kind of like Mou. His level of conceitedness is always amouzing. But, I think Madrid only has room for one "Special One" and that's San Iker!

        • Thea says:

          and his form has kinda left the Bernabeau since the arrival of Pastaface!

          Ah well – there's always next year hun!

      • D0li says:

        I would have to thumb down on this, I hope they don't get rid of him he's great!

        • Leá says:

          I like Mou… I just think he needs to get over himself a little so that he can do what's best for the team. I just feel like things aren't clicking at all this year, and I think Mou needs to really think about what needs to be changed to get things back on track. I like him a lot personally, I'm just not sure if he's what's best for RM. But, I'm definitely willing to give him more time to try and work things out.

  26. blitzenTO says:

    Must. Not. Gloat.

    I'm designating this "Be nice to a Madridista Day." Every cule should say something nice about Real Madrid and refrain from making any pointed comments about You Know What. I'll start:

    Iker Casillas looked very sexy yesterday. While he was letting in Osasuna's goal. ZING! ;) )))))

  27. Jules says:

    Not really related to the content of the article but what is up with footballers shaving their armpits (see Eto’o, Samuel and Iker, San)? Am I the only one who appreciates a bit of body hair on a man?

  28. BarceLisa says:

    "… Real’s title chances are ovah – a matter we feel certain will not cause any arguing in our comments section." I made a promise to myself years ago to reduce my feelings of Schadenfreude (pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others) but this season with Mourinho and Cristiano joining Real, it is becoming harder and harder. If we win at the Bernabeu, I think my head will explode. Theres a good chance of an El Clasico final in the Copa Del Rey so I guess its best that I hold back on talking about titles for now. I'm just beaming with pride about how Barca are just going about business breaking records left and right. They picked the right season to do it.

    • Thea says:

      we are on our way Lisa………..it's truly 'More than a Club'!

      • BarceLisa says:

        *crickets*…………… lol I won't say anything because I dont want to jinx it! I love your team spirit Thea.

        • Thea says:

          I know – but the cushion for Barca is pretty good so it gives us space to concentrate on the CL and that is our biggest challenge……we have to become Rulers of Europe again!

          • lorena_yGp says:

            When you think that their is a chance of FOUR El Clasico matches in april!!! O_O My God just like Kickette mentioned-I will go bankrupt because of all those manicures that I will ( probably ) need :-)

    • Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

      Oh yes Lisa, there is so much left to enjoy!!

    • Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

      Oh and I forgot: I have tickets for the Barca-Osasuna game the 26 of April! I hope they won't be so lucky then… Osasuna i mean.

  29. Thea says:

    Very happy with my Barcal boys for balancing the books against Hercules – and very happy that it puts us an amazing SEVEN points ahead in La Liga…..means that it's really our to loose!