February 21st, 2011
Weekend Results: Priorities & Pleadings
Roma’s Marco Borriello. Yes, unfortunately we are this shallow. (Image: AP Photo/Daylife)
We usually like to come up with some sort of witty intro to the Weekend Results, mostly to make the subject matter appear more exciting, but also to enable you to slip comfortably and easily into post as you might a hot bath. Unfortunately, we only have limited wit reserves and we’ve pretty much used it all in the post, leaving us with nothing to say. Hopefully, the photo of Marco Borriello above will distract the majority of you from this crapness.
If not, we’ve put a picture of a topless Phil Neville further down to ease your pain. Enjoy!
The (rather scrummy) hero of Leyton Orient, Jonathan Tehoue. (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)
Having barely recovered from the hangover incurred after beating Barcelona in the Champions League, Arsenal fans are this morning contemplating an Emirates replay for an FA Cup quarter final place against a side over fifty places below them in the league. Whoops.
Tomas Rosicky’s second half strike had seemed sufficient to set up a heavyweight clash against Manchester United in the next round, but the Adorkables hadn’t banked on Leyton Orient sub Jonathan Tehoue (above), who stampeded through the Arsenal defence to score an excellent (and surprisingly lucrative) equaliser. The fixture congestion that a replay created is awe-inspiring; the team now face five games in fourteen days, including a Carling Cup final and the second leg of their Champions League fixture against Barca in Spain. So that’s good then.
Fellow Londoners Chelsea could only dream of such problems. The Blues eclectic season went from bad to worse this weekend as they were dumped out of the cup on penalties. It took 104 minutes for a goal to be scored, Frank Lampard finding the net with a decisive strike that looked set to give Ancelotti’s men the win, but Leyton Baines’ free kick took the tie to 1-1 and penalties, which Chelsea subsequently lost 4-3.
Phil Neville scored the winner and very obligingly removed his shirt (left) to reveal a pleasing torso. (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)
We have forwarded the image to Grant Wahl, to reiterate the importance of his work.
Elsewhere, Manchester United made heavy work of a 1-0 victory against non-league Crawley Town, Manchester City tonked Notts County 5-0 with two from Patrick Viera, Birmingham City and Stoke City beat Sheffield Wednesday and Brighton 3-0 respectively and Bolton Wanderers beat Fulham 1-0.
Alexander Pato. He has a beard. Apparently. (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)
Roma’s performance against Genoa had several repercussions, the most important of which was to cause Marco Borriello to roll around on his back, exposing his undercarriage to the slavering hordes (top). Surprisingly, other media outlets seem to be rather more concerned with Claudio Ranieri’s resignation and fan protests, plus the possibility of Carlo Ancelotti quitting Chelsea at the end of the season for the Stadio Olimpico. Other people’s priorities are so weird, no?
Roma were 3-0 up, a relatively easy score to defend, one would think. But Genoa scored four in a terrible half hour for Ranieri, who had stood firm in the face of flare and firecracker throwing by fans on Saturday, only to quit on Sunday.
Sorry, but we still think the Borri roll is more important.
Elsewhere in Serie A, AC Milan retained the top spot after a 2-1 away win over Chievo, while Napoli held onto second with a 1-0 victory against Catania, although Edinson Cavani missed a penalty. Inter are third (Mariga, thighs, above left) after a 1-0 win over Cagliari but Juventus’ poor run continued with a 2-0 loss to Lecce. They are now sixth. (Image: AP Photo/Daylife)
Gerard Pique & Fernando Llorente. More yum for your Euro. (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)
Normal service has been resumed in La Liga, with victories for Barcelona and Real Madrid. Real’s victory over league stragglers Levante was the more comprehensive, with two unanswered goals from Benzema & Carvalho, while Barca required a winner from Leo Messi to give them 2-1 against Athletic Bilbao.
The surprise result of the weekend was fourteenth placed Osasuna’s 4-0 victory over sixth placed Espanyol, but Valencia and Villarreal’s respective draws against Sporting Gijon and Malaga will arguably have more impact on the table; third placed Valencia are now twelve points off the pace. Meanwhile, Atletico Madrid have Sergio Aguero to thank for a 1-0 victory over Real Zaragoza, his winner consolidating eighth position for his team.
Borussia Dortmund put two consecutive draws behind them to win 2-0 against St Pauli, thus maintaining their ten point lead at the top of the table. This was just as well, as Bayer Leverkusen don’t appear to be letting up the pressure any time soon with a 4-2 win over Stuttgart. Seventh placed Hamburg also scored four, Werder Bremen the unfortunate victims, while Hannover, Nuremburg and Bayern Munich kept it to three.
Bottom placed Borussia Mönchengladbach beat Schalke 2-1 and are share nineteen points with Stuttgart.
Montpellier’s midfielder Younes Belhanda gives us the tummy/thigh/tent triumverate. Hell yeah! (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)
Our unwavering support for Ligue 1 whipping boys seems to finally be paying off; Arles-Avignon celebrated a second consecutive draw this week that would have been a win if Auxerre hadn’t been so selfish as to score a late equaliser.
Meanwhile, there was drama at the other end of the table, where leaders Lille fell to their first defeat since October 2010. Montpellier were the side to offer hope to the rest, their 1-0 victory closing the gap at the top to a very reasonable two points. Second place Rennes played their part with a 2-1 win over Toulouse but it was Bordeaux who took a beating; they lost 5-1 to mid table Lorient. Both teams had a man sent off and seven yellow cards were issued in total. Sounds fun!
Your views on the games, the torsos and our lack of a decent intro are welcome here!