February 21st, 2011

Weekend Results: Priorities & Pleadings

Roma’s Marco Borriello. Yes, unfortunately we are this shallow. (Image: AP Photo/Daylife)

We usually like to come up with some sort of witty intro to the Weekend Results, mostly to make the subject matter appear more exciting, but also to enable you to slip comfortably and easily into post as you might a hot bath. Unfortunately, we only have limited wit reserves and we’ve pretty much used it all in the post, leaving us with nothing to say. Hopefully, the photo of Marco Borriello above will distract the majority of you from this crapness.

If not, we’ve put a picture of a topless Phil Neville further down to ease your pain. Enjoy! 

FA Cup

The (rather scrummy) hero of Leyton Orient, Jonathan Tehoue. (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)

Having barely recovered from the hangover incurred after beating Barcelona in the Champions League, Arsenal fans are this morning contemplating an Emirates replay for an FA Cup quarter final place against a side over fifty places below them in the league. Whoops.

Tomas Rosicky’s second half strike had seemed sufficient to set up a heavyweight clash against Manchester United in the next round, but the Adorkables hadn’t banked on Leyton Orient sub Jonathan Tehoue (above), who stampeded through the Arsenal defence to score an excellent (and surprisingly lucrative) equaliser. The fixture congestion that a replay created is awe-inspiring; the team now face five games in fourteen days, including a Carling Cup final and the second leg of their Champions League fixture against Barca in Spain. So that’s good then.

Fellow Londoners Chelsea could only dream of such problems. The Blues eclectic season went from bad to worse this weekend as they were dumped out of the cup on penalties. It took 104 minutes for a goal to be scored, Frank Lampard finding the net with a decisive strike that looked set to give Ancelotti’s men the win, but Leyton Baines’ free kick took the tie to 1-1 and penalties, which Chelsea subsequently lost 4-3.

Phil Neville scored the winner and very obligingly removed his shirt (left) to reveal a pleasing torso. (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)

We have forwarded the image to Grant Wahl, to reiterate the importance of his work.

Elsewhere, Manchester United made heavy work of a 1-0 victory against non-league Crawley Town, Manchester City tonked Notts County 5-0 with two from Patrick Viera, Birmingham City and Stoke City beat Sheffield Wednesday and Brighton 3-0 respectively and Bolton Wanderers beat Fulham 1-0.

Serie A

Alexander Pato. He has a beard. Apparently. (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)

Roma’s performance against Genoa had several repercussions, the most important of which was to cause Marco Borriello to roll around on his back, exposing his undercarriage to the slavering hordes (top). Surprisingly, other media outlets seem to be rather more concerned with Claudio Ranieri’s resignation and fan protests, plus the possibility of Carlo Ancelotti quitting Chelsea at the end of the season for the Stadio Olimpico. Other people’s priorities are so weird, no?

Roma were 3-0 up, a relatively easy score to defend, one would think. But Genoa scored four in a terrible half hour for Ranieri, who had stood firm in the face of flare and firecracker throwing by fans on Saturday, only to quit on Sunday.

Sorry, but we still think the Borri roll is more important.

Elsewhere in Serie A, AC Milan retained the top spot after a 2-1 away win over Chievo, while Napoli held onto second with a 1-0 victory against Catania, although Edinson Cavani missed a penalty. Inter are third (Mariga, thighs, above left) after a 1-0 win over Cagliari but Juventus’ poor run continued with a 2-0 loss to Lecce. They are now sixth. (Image: AP Photo/Daylife)

La Liga  

Gerard Pique & Fernando Llorente. More yum for your Euro. (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)

Normal service has been resumed in La Liga, with victories for Barcelona and Real Madrid. Real’s victory over league stragglers Levante was the more comprehensive, with two unanswered goals from Benzema & Carvalho, while Barca required a winner from Leo Messi to give them 2-1 against Athletic Bilbao.

The surprise result of the weekend was fourteenth placed Osasuna’s 4-0 victory over sixth placed Espanyol, but Valencia and Villarreal’s respective draws against  Sporting Gijon and Malaga will arguably have more impact on the table; third placed Valencia are now twelve points off the pace. Meanwhile, Atletico Madrid have Sergio Aguero to thank for a 1-0 victory over Real Zaragoza, his winner consolidating eighth position for his team.

Bundesliga

Borussia Dortmund put two consecutive draws behind them to win 2-0 against St Pauli, thus maintaining their ten point lead at the top of the table. This was just as well, as Bayer Leverkusen don’t appear to be letting up the pressure any time soon with a 4-2 win over Stuttgart. Seventh placed Hamburg also scored four, Werder Bremen the unfortunate victims, while Hannover, Nuremburg and Bayern Munich kept it to three.

Bottom placed Borussia Mönchengladbach beat Schalke 2-1 and are share nineteen points with Stuttgart.

Ligue 1

Montpellier’s midfielder Younes Belhanda gives us the tummy/thigh/tent triumverate. Hell yeah! (Image: Getty Images/Daylife)

Our unwavering support for Ligue 1 whipping boys seems to finally be paying off; Arles-Avignon celebrated a second consecutive draw this week that would have been a win if Auxerre hadn’t been so selfish as to score a late equaliser.

Meanwhile, there was drama at the other end of the table, where leaders Lille fell to their first defeat since October 2010. Montpellier were the side to offer hope to the rest, their 1-0 victory closing the gap at the top to a very reasonable two points. Second place Rennes played their part with a 2-1 win over Toulouse but it was Bordeaux who took a beating; they lost 5-1 to mid table Lorient. Both teams had a man sent off and seven yellow cards were issued in total. Sounds fun!

Your views on the games, the torsos and our lack of a decent intro are welcome here!

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38 Responses to “Weekend Results: Priorities & Pleadings”

  1. MrsLBaines says:

    I was torn. I support both Chelsea and Everton. I was happy for Leighton and was delighted to see Phil Jagielka shirtless! Now, how to get the team to my place sans shirts … so happy that Barca and Inter won. As for the rest: why why why??? And Fulham!! When will Aaron Hughes take off his shirt?

  2. OneCaptain says:

    Terrible week !!! Roma lost every match they played and I am so angry!
    Still I'm happy for my captain, Totti, because he's playing well…
    Then, also Chelsea deceived me.. it's horrible the way they have just self-destructed..
    I only wish to have my magic Lampsy back…
    Hey, Summer, we had the same reaction at Ashley Cole's penalty…

    Messi and Iniesta must be from another planet..

  3. Deanna says:

    After Arsenal tied I needed a pick-me-up, so I watched my lil Silva in the Man City Notts replay. I literally was in tears every time I saw Hughes with Joe Hart. Hughes tried to score and slide into Hart, gotta pick Hart up; Hart does some AMAZING goal keeping, gotta go over there and congratulate him. With a huge smile on his face. His hands were all over Hart. I mean I realize its Joe Hart and who WOULDN'T want to put his hands on Hart, but there's a time and a place Hughes!

    Just sneak into the locker room ;D

  4. nandosfreckles says:

    two beautiful blue-eyed men, pique and llorente <3

  5. BarceLisa says:

    oh and Juve, you are killing me! talk about self-destruction.

  6. Leya_S says:

    1. Oh FFS, Arsenal, AGAIN?!?! You're killin me. How do you go from beating Barca to tying Leyton Orient? I guess I should give credit where credit is due for the Os not giving up and playing really well.
    2. Barca won, yay. And that Pique and Llori pic is tooo cute.

    • Amy says:

      in their defense, they did have their b team in for the most part, but still – that is a weak defense!

  7. Summer says:

    This week has been a bad and unhappy week. Yes someone asked me if I was angry for my Chelsea, my beloved club and not I'm not angry, but I can't find a word to define my state that is something more than angry (Does exist something more than angry to define my state?). Well, I was watching the match last Saturday while I was studying chemistry (Chemistry. Strange. Another thing the at the moment Chelsea's players don't have). At 90' Anelka entered and my thought was: "Oh My God. Carletto is desperate, if plays this card". After 90' this was my thought: "Things can't going bad. Where is gone the club that 1 year ago won the double? Where our strikers? Where is the magic Frank Lampard?". But things seemed improve and at 104' Lamps scored, and my thought: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BOYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and threw my Chemistry book on the floor for the happiness. I was sure that Chelsea could have won the match, but at 129' Everton scored and my thought: "No words s**t" and others insults in italian. Penalties aren't good for Chelsea, Chelsea isn't lucky with penalties (I remember still today the famous penalties against United in 2008 at Moscow). When Chelsea arrives at the penalties there are tears and nothing else. Lamps goal and this was clear, Didi goal oh at this moment I thought that we could have won, Michael goal: "Yeah". After Michael there was Anelka: "OMG but why he continues to shoot the penalties. He isn't able, he usually fail them. Why Carlo? Don't you remember Moscow?" and in fact Anelka failed. It was Ashely turn. Ash shoot and he failed, too high! At this point I realized that Everton had won and with all my heart I cried against Ashely Cole: "Ma vaffanculo porca troia, brutto figlio di un cane!" that in English I can translate with a simple F**k you, but in Italian there's something more. I don't know what I have to think now and I also don't know if is possible to save something of them something of us.

    • IrishBlue says:

      Awh it's all just so annoying! I wanted to go back over there to watch a match soon but now I'm just like do i really want to spend money on flights from Ireland to London to see my team and playing half-heartedly? I'm still a loyal fan through and through but think I'll wait till they pick up a bit first. Oh well at least David Luiz looks promising. And if we don't win the Champions League it could be the end of Carlo. And i don't want that because I do like him. We will just have to be patient :O

  8. Emily says:

    kickette… its leighton baines, not leyton :( and he did a topless interview after the game. it was fantastic

    • ABF says:

      THANK YOU for pointing this out! I love reading Kickette, but it's the little things that hurt my non-"big club" supporting heart. That being said, so proud of my team for pulling through! :)

  9. Georgina Sanders says:

    Finally, after two months of busy reviewing and non-stop post backreading, I'm back in the current swing of the Kickette side of things.

    And my love for Fernando Llorente has never decimated during that time interval. As long as I saw him, i couldn't care less about the rest of this post anymore. Haaayyyy! Yuumm! ♥

  10. Wow says:

    My poor Italian sauce rolling around in pain, while showing me a little somethin somethin! Marco i went to make it all better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  11. Sergz says:

    *think Homer* Mmm Llorente…

  12. laligaforladies says:

    One more thing in La Liga: Deportivo GOALKEEPER Dani Aranzubia scored the equalizer against Almería in the 95th minute. With a header. How awesome is that? It's the only time a goalkeeper has scored with a header in La Liga.

  13. Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

    I didn't see as many games this weekend as I use too, but the things I saw…Yum! Messi getting past five (or was it six) Bilbao players just like that. They eventually tackled him and he should've had a penalty, but the cheekiness of that boy! I love it! And when he finally scored his goal he looked as if he did it just for laughs.

    Puyi and Valdes in the stands is perhaps not a preferred sight, but at least they were on display. Good looking boys! Hope they will be back soon and that Valdes knee injury is not too severe.

    And Sevilla won! Fantastic! Afterwards something very rare occurred: Jesus took his top off! He should do that more often.

  14. IrishBlue says:

    Gaaaaaaahhh! I am so frustrated! Come on lads for the love of St Iker, I cant take much more of this! I just get angry watching Chelsea now, Anelka looked like he couldnt give two flying f's about taking that penalty, it's all just a big blue mess. Teams know how to play us, they've sussed it and it was only a matter of time before they did. Ok so now that is out of my system, hello Mr. Ben Smith and Mr. Matt Tubbs, Crawley's numbers 7 and 9! I do enjoy uncovering what the lower leagues (and non-leagues) have to offer! And to end with a footballing fetus…I absolutely LOVE Chicharito….there I've said it, at first i thought it was just in an 'adorable ickle baby' kinda way but no, it's a 'lets get down to business' kinda way….sod it.

    • Summer says:

      I'm a Chelsea fan too and I still don't know why Anelka still continue to shoot the penalties. He isn't able and stop. I can't take the penalties, he can't. I can remember some occasions in which he failed. Do you remember the Champions League's final in 2008? However I think that in our team JT, Iva, Petr and Lamps are fit and they are ok, the other's have so much problems. Carlo needs to resolve the problems and win the Champions, if he won't succeed in, our season is to throw away.

  15. Bri says:

    Allez Rennes! <3 So thrilled.
    Another Barca win is also excellent.
    Also…I am extremely excited for the Porto – Sevilla game this week!!!

    • Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

      Me too! I wish the Sevilla boys will get their act together. It is not impossible for them to beat Porto. They can do better than they showed in the first leg. I can't wait!

  16. Ashlee says:

    That picture of Pique and Llorente makes me happy. In the pants. It really must be something in the water, both in Cataluyna and Pais Vasco because men just don't look like them where I live.

  17. Depressed Footie Fan says:

    For my teams this was the weekend from hell.
    Roma lost, and to go from so far up to so far down was like a slap in the face. In-team fighting, fans blowing up things, riots, all it just makes for a very bad week to be a Roma fan. But we will persevere, I'm sorry but I'm glad that Ranieri is gone. We need fresh life.
    My other team-my much loved Bordeaux, who are like a piece of me, lost and it was bad. It was bad on so many levels I could cry just remembering it. Saint Ced we believe in you, but you cannot do it alone. Another team that needs a new coach.

  18. EllieLUFC says:

    Oh, look at Pique and Llorente flirting!
    That picture made my day
    xo

    • D0li says:

      any idea of what they are saying?

      • @DebStimson says:

        Fernando's probably saying…"Geri, I totally OWNED you!" That one play where Fernando dribbled around Geri down near Barca's box was brilliant. Who knew?!

        Barca really does miss Puyi. Although, the guys looked a little more in sync with passing, etc. once Busquets was moved up from the back line to midfield. He really is a great player.

        • Seemeen says:

          OMG I can't help the huge smile I get whenever I look at that pic. I love Fernando Llorente sigh. As to what they're saying to each other, well I read an article were Fernando was quoted as saying "The marking by Piqué is harder than the one by my girlfriend." Mad me laugh despite the mention of his girlfriend who I also read is a Dr. Gosh now I sound obsessed. Let me not mention the hysterical videos I found of some tv appearances he made.

  19. Marie says:

    Really happy that Barca won although i feel our defense looks a little hapless without Puyol. Desperate times call for desperate measures so here goes 'Please Saint Iker, let Puyol come back soon'.

    (And kickette people do get their priorities mixed up, rolling Borriello always!!!)

  20. SoccerrLoverrr says:

    Im really glad everton beat chelsea, they deserve it! As for Arsenal agaisnt leyton orient..i was disappointed with the draw..the gunners totally cud have won that game! At least there's going to be a replay at the emirates.. The only highlight this weekend for me was seeeing my marouane play for the whole ninety minutes after soo long (yayy) :D ohh yeah and bendtner taking off his shirt at the end of the match!

  21. lorena_yGp says:

    1)Manchester United won- luckily
    2)Barca won
    3)Lyon won + Yoann Gourcuff scored!!!
    All is perfect if you ask me :-) ))
    P.S. I am extremely excited for this week CL matches!!! GO RED DEVILS!!!
    P.S. #2 Pique was shirtless after the game!!!
    Epic weekend Kickette's….EPIC!!! :-)

  22. blake2108 says:

    Would totally do Phil Neville. Amazing body.

  23. Thea says:

    Very happy for both Barcelona and Everton! Way to fight back boys!