March 26th, 2012
Weekend Results: Queries & Revisionist Theories
Boca was one of three players sent off during a particularly feisty Old Firm derby yesterday. The ref obviously hadn’t received our memo about keeping players with hot thighs on the pitch regardless of crap tackling ability. Image: Getty Images/Daylife.
Quick, get us an iced latte and a muscular midfielder, stat!
We don’t have to explain why, just someone please do it.
Invasion of Raheem Sterling’s personal space was only one of the accusations being thrown at Kenny Dalglish on Saturday. Image: AFP PHOTO/IAN MacNICOL.
Kenny Dalglish’s management career at Anfield is under scrutiny after an embarrassing 2-1 defeat to relegation threatened Wigan at Anfield. Wigan took the lead via a Shaun Maloney penalty, before Luis Suarez struck from a Gerrard pass. The Uruguayan then had one disallowed, giving way to Gary Caldwell’s 63rd minute strike and speculation about King Kenny’s tenure coming to an end.
A message of support from Fabrice Muamba and tributes to the player from both sets of fans before the game spurred Bolton on to a 2-1 victory over Blackburn, while Chelsea and Spurs cancelled each other out in the early kick-off on Saturday. Arsenal are three points clear of their North London rivals after a 3-0 victory over troubled Aston Villa, while a win for Manchester United tonight vs. Fulham would see them rise above City by the same margin.
Both cute, but today we’d lean toward the non-tattooed Soldado midriff over Alexis’ inked one. You? Images: JAVIER SORIANO/AFP/Getty Images, David Ramos/Getty Images.
Cristiano Ronaldo scored his 100th goal for Real Madrid in their 5-1 defeat of Real Sociedad, while Gerard Pique surprised himself and everybody else with a goal in Barca’s 2-0 away win over Mallorca. The gap at the top is now six points, which makes for a slightly more interesting run in than we were anticipating just a couple of weeks ago.
Getafe picked up a handy three points after beating third-placed Valencia 3-1 and Sporting Gijon snatched an equaliser late in their game vs. Bilbao, but the big news at the bottom was Real Zaragoza’s 1-0 victory over Atletico Madrid. Apono took the points for his side with a penalty in the 90th minute, denting Atletico’s hopes of European football next season, but no one at Zaragoza will be getting too excited – despite the rare win they remain bottom of the heap with nine games to go.
It’s fair to say that morale is not great at Inter lately. Image: REUTERS/Alessandro Garofalo.
Ibra scored twice in AC Milan’s 2-1 victory vs. Roma to maintain their position at the top of Serie A, while Juventus’ 2-0 win over Inter kept them in the title race. Draws for Udinese and Napoli saw them swap places in the table, while the bottom three remain precisely where they were after drawing their matches.
Disturbed or impressed, Kickettes? Image: Dennis Grombkowski/Bongarts/Getty Images.
Borussia Dortmund gave a much needed boost to their goal difference this weekend with a 6-1 away win over Cologne. Bayern Munich had a terrible weekend by their their own ridic standards – they only beat Hannover by one goal instead of the five and six they’ve been recording recently and remain second to Dortmund by five points.
Two goals from the unnervingly tongued Klaas-Jan Huntelaar vs. Leverkusen helped Schalke maintain third place, while Borussia Monchengladbach failed to recover from their midweek cup defeat to Bayern and lost 2-1 at home to tenth placed Hoffenheim.
Actually, why don’t we just stop fooling about? The open invitation to attend our offices that we extended to Olivier Giroud recently is now available to all Montpellier players. Especially you, Benjamin Stambouli. Image: REUTERS/Pascal Parrot.
Montpellier and PSG share the top spot this morning after the latter stumbled to a 1-1 draw with Bordeaux. Montpellier’s superior goal difference gives them the edge – they beat St Etienne 1-0 thanks to an 89th minute goal by Olivier Giroud – but both teams will be happy to rest on the seven point margin between them and the next best placed club, Lille. They beat Evian Thon Gaillard 3-0, but hot on their heels are Toulouse who beat Auxerre 1-0.
Well, hello there. Someone is glad to be back in the goals, aren’t they? Image: Jeff Zelevansky/Getty Images North America.
The New York Red Bulls chalked up their first victory of the season with a 4-1 win over Colorado Rapids, two of the goals coming from a rather frisky looking Thierry Henry (above). Toronto FC were also downed by a three goal margin – San Jose Earthquakes’ Chris Wondolowski denied a brilliant hat-trick by a pesky post.
A goal in the 28th second of the first half was enough to give New England Revolution the win over Portland Timbers, while David Estrada scored yet again for Seattle Sounders in their 2-0 victory over Houston Dynamo.
Did you survive? We hope so; the staffer who wrote this is refusing to come out from under her desk.