October 4th, 2010
Weekend Results: Record (And Leg) Breaking
Yes Andy, give yourself a round of applause. (Getty Images/Zimbio)
For many months now, we’ve been voicing our objections to the lack of commitment by some players to their responsibilities. There are simply too many footballers using base layers, results and/or ridiculous rules as an excuse to keep their shirts on and deprive us of our Monday Morning man meat fix.
Above, Andy Carroll puts his fellow players to shame by demonstrating how easy it is to fulfill the criteria of a Kickette lead photo. Note how the removal of the shirt and raised clapping hands results in enhanced abs and a subtle glimpse of a scrummy hip dip. How the slightly rueful expression on his face is uniquely placed to send women rushing to St James Park in order to comfort the boy/smear him in chocolate and molest him.
Come on, boys, it’s not difficult. Make a lady happy today.
And while you’re waiting, peeps, please avail yourself of the weekend results.
Although unbeaten in sixteen games in the EPL, Manchester United were disappointed (left) with their 0-0 away draw at Sunderland. They slip to third after rivals Manchester City beat Newcastle United 2-1, but the game was marred by Nigel De Jong’s challenge on Hatem Ben Arfa which resulted in a double leg break for the Newcastle midfielder. He will undergo surgery today. Reports that somewhere in Madrid, Xabi Alonso’s chest hairs are shaking and crying have not been formally confirmed. (Getty Images/Daylife)
On Sunday, Chelsea beat Arsenal 2-0 at Stamford Bridge in what was supposed to be the big game of the day. Goals from Drogba and Alex took the Blues four points clear at the top of the table, but attention was diverted from the result by Liverpool’s shock 2-1 defeat to Blackpool at Anfield. Roy Hodgson’s side now occupy a spot in the drop zone, problems compounded by yet another injury to Fernando Torres, who limped off with a groin injury ten minutes into the match. (Getty Images/Daylife)
Did someone say goal drought? Real Madrid finally responded to their critics (rumours that Jose Mourinho threatened a tanning lotion embargo remain unconfirmed too. Anyone would think we were making this stuff up) last night with a 6-1 home victory against Deportivo. Cristiano Ronaldo scored two, with other notable contributions from Mesut Ozil, Angel Di Mario and everyone’s favourite shelf booty boy, Gonzalo Higuain (left). (AP Photo/Daylife)
Barcelona failed to keep up the pressure with a 1-1 draw at the Nou Camp against Mallorca leaving them fourth, while Valencia remain top after a fifth consecutive win, beating Athletic Bilbao 2-1. Sevilla had a decent home victory against Atletico Madrid, winning 3-1. Diego Forlan failed to score or take his clothes off (left). (AFP/Getty Images/Daylife)
Any Roma fans looking forward to an upturn in fortune after their midweek Champions League win will have been sorely disappointed by their side’s 2-0 defeat to Napoli on Saturday. Mainly because they are now languishing in nineteenth place. Udinese, who have saved Roma’s embarrassment so far by successfully avoiding victory, registered their first win of the season against Cesena via a last gasp goal by Mehdi Benatia. Udinese remain bottom, but only by a point.
Records breaking all over the shop in the Bundesliga this weekend as Mainz made it seven straight wins out of seven with a 4-2 win over TSG Hoffenheim. This equals the best ever start to a season in the league, currently held by Bayern Munich and Kaiserslautern.
Not to be left out, a 2-0 loss to Borussia Dortmund sees Bayern Munich make their worst start to the season for er… ever. Schalke’s 2-1 away defeat to Nuremberg sees Raul, Metzelder et al in seventeenth, while Stuttgart prop up the table after a 2-1 home defeat to tenth place Eintracht Frankfurt.
Auxerre, who had failed to win any of their previous games so far this season, beat bottom of the table Arles 4-0 away to take them to a relatively respectable fourteenth in the table. Arles, who are anchored to the bottom of the table, now have the dubious honour of being the only team in all five of the top European leagues without a win.
The long awaited turnaround in fortune was also gladly received by Bordeaux, who beat Lorient 1-0, while Lyon consolidated on their midweek Champions League success with a 3- 2 away victory against Nancy.
How was the footy for you this weekend, Kickettes? Do tell…