April 12th, 2010

Weekend Results: Shirtless And Of Short Tent

FA CupIt’s been a mad shirtless and short tent weekend, ladies, and nowhere more so than in Portsmouth. Avram Grant’s side topped off a totally ridiculous season (unpaid wages, insolvency, this) by getting relegated from the EPL and then going to Wembley and qualifying for the FA Cup final. Goal scorer Kevin-Prince Boeteng (above) was pleased, and we were equally satisfied as Frank Lampard stripped off following Chelsea’s win over Aston Villa.  For their efforts, we’re renaming the FA Cup final the ‘Chest Championship’. Join our campaign, won’t you?

EPL cont’d…

Manchester City tonked Birmingham City 5-1, and coupled with Liverpool’s 0-0 draw against Fulham it looks as though Liverpool’s chances of fourth place/Champions League next season are over. No Nando in the CL? Punishment for last week’s awful makeup situ, now photoshopped with matching red handbag? Damn you, universe.

Also dropping points this weekend were Manchester United. Assuming Chelsea can consolidate their position as leaders with their game in hand against Bolton on Tuesday, it could be that United only finish the season with their Carling Cup trophy. Anything to say ’bout that, Kickettes? And can a Cescy-less Arsenal finish off the title charge strong?

La Liga

Barcelona's coach Josep Guardiola

Real Madrid El ClasicoWhile Pep Guardiola adjusted his personal formation, goals from Lionel Messi and Pedro gave Barcelona the edge in La Liga’s title race. While the Real Madrid boys weren’t able to keep up on the pitch they clearly felt that their short tent line-up would provide sufficient distraction from their failures. We think it did.

Additionally, we can’t stop giggling at David Silva’s (Valencia) attempt at floor modeling.

Ligue 1

While Marseille relaxes into their cushy top spot,  Lyon dropped points at home to Lille. We feel this almost justifies our inclusion of Franck’s Beria’s picture (right).

Similar gratuitous photographic inclusion comes with Yoann Gourcuff looking devastated as Bordeaux lose. Again.

Serie A

AC Milan might have only drawn with Catania at home but our Borri stalk-watch caught his brace and more interestingly, his VPL. Keep up with the lovely quiff, good sir. Yum.

Inter Milan were also held 2-2 away at Fiorentina, meaning that Roma’s victory against Atalanta saw them maneuver to first place for the first time since ’07. Celebratory hand-holding ensued.

Meanwhile, Sampdoria put in an electrifying performance against Genoa. Ask Robert Acquafresca of Genoa. He knows all about it (left).

World news

Clausura Tournament

Last but not least, congratulations to Penerol of the Uruguyan league. They beat Fenix 2-1 to lift the Clausura trophy and then they took their shirts off. Hurrah for cultural awareness!

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21 Responses to “Weekend Results: Shirtless And Of Short Tent”

  1. livv4footy says:

    united will get the prem.
    end of story.

  2. Lotte says:

    Magic Messi, with a little help from his friends, blew the Greasy one away! Yay!!

    • senora ramos says:

      actually, it was with a lot of help from one of his friends (xavi) if you want to be correct. sorry, but messi’s not the one that won this game for y’all.

      • Thea says:

        Well we played brilliantly of course – but I was shocked at RM’s p*ss poor attitude and sloppy standards! Really think they have given up – they need a wake up call – From the special one perhaps???

        • senora ramos says:

          thea, today is not the day for joking. the special one indeed. you know as well as i that his style and the style the crazy madridistas want (the ones that don't just want to win, but win beautifully of which i am not one. a win is a win is a win) wouldn't mesh.

          and yes, y'all won the match, but the whole match was not up to you're recent standards and y'all know it. 58% possession?

          and yes, we looked sloppy out there and after pedro's goal, it was obvs they had given up (they had even given up a little after messi's it looked like to me)

          • Lotte says:

            Yes, a win, is a win, is a win. And barca won, even when they did not play their most beautiful game. And with players on new positions. That says a lot. And no, Messi did not do this one alone, not this time ;) . Come on, it is not over yet. This will be a thriller!

          • Thea says:

            Well Ramos, guess we were playing to conserve our energy, we have ALOT to still play for remember? Oh – and I forgot – Jose would go to you, for the same reasons Wenger, Benitez and all the other top dogs turn you down – they actually like being with a team that respects them!

  3. gise says:

    i never wanted to crawl under a rock and stay there more than i did yesterday…why do spurs do this to me? and then arsenal on wednesday…oh yes, exciting times indeed.

  4. Inés says:

    Both Premier League and La Liga turn out into s***!

  5. Kevin-Prince’s artwork (and the body) is pretty damn impressive. Plus who doesn’t love a man with a royal title? :)

    Best of luck to Portsmouth in the final. Their supporters deserve something good after a horrendous season.

    Some of the other results this weekend made dropping points at Ewood Park slightly easier to take, if only for the comic relief.

  6. bubbly_cheryl says:

    ms kickette, either way united won’t end the season without a trophy, we have the carling cup… still hope we’ll get the EPL (don’t think i could stomach chelsea winning it)

  7. ^^K^^ says:

    Um, not without a trophy, Kickette, we did get the Carling Cup ;)

  8. senora ramos says:

    never did i think i would come on here this morning and actually be cheered up. thank you lovely kickette.

  9. becky says:

    Oh, it took so much effort to even click on this post due to kpb being the picture at the top. :(

    I am still not over the loss. :(

    Shockingly bad ref and a stupid pitch.

    It's okay, I still love you Daws.

    Although it seemed like Bale was the only one putting in 100%

    ttid! x

  10. carly says:

    How awesome to have something from the Uruguayan Apertura – not that I follow it much, but I'm sure it's worth it – just one thing it's Peñarol, I think, and if you don't have the ~, make it Penarol ;)

    You have to hand it to Pompey and how they're still fighting after this horrid season. For old times sake: PUP :)

  11. tammyv says:

    Having spent 2 days on my bed with a very sick puppy… I watched pretty much every match that happened.

    El Classico was brilliant, made all the more amazing with Ray Hudson calling it. ("[Messi] is like a zombie hunter looking for a twinkie"]

    Now, when did Lamps stop waxing? Did we ever figure that out?

    I was cheering for Pompy so loud that it freaked the dogs out. Well done Avarm Grant, well done team. I respect them so much for not just giving up after everything that has happened this year. They have soe serious spirit

    • imhereforthenando says:

      I am so in love with Ray Hudson. My favourite quote from the evening?

      “What he is, he’s like something out of Greek mythology man. A little short-legged bull, covered with eyes.”

      Keep up the excellence, Ray.

  12. LuvinBale says:

    I am very sad about this weekend- my boys lost to Portsmouth for the FA Cup. Poor Daws- he slipped and a goal went right past him. I am slowly recovering. What I need are more pics of shirtless men, short tents and booze. Please help Kickette.

    Yours Truly-

    Tottenham Girl 4 Life