September 24th, 2012
Weekend Results: Surprising Surges
Yuto Nagatomo of Inter demonstrates that FIFA directives can easily be sidestepped with a little half time improv. Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe.
Make the most of it, Kickettes. Sculpted abs of this calibre are an endangered species at this stage of the season.
Goalscorers in gingham. Image: Claudio Villa/Getty Images Europe.
A win for Liverpool against Manchester United would have been the perfect end to a day of pride and remembrance at Anfield, but Alex Ferguson’s boys aren’t the types to be distracted by ceremony. Despite a full blooded Liverpool performance, including a captain’s strike from Stevie G, Rafael and Robin van Persie scored the goals that took the points in yesterday’s early kick-off. United remain one point behind Chelsea, who narrowly beat Stoke City the day before, thanks to an 85th minute strike by Ashley Cole. Liverpool fans would almost certainly prefer it if we didn’t discuss their current position in any depth.
Southampton finally reaped the rewards of positive play in the EPL at the expense of Aston Villa, who they beat 4-1, while Everton & West Brom continue to fly high in third and fourth respectively. Everton taught Swansea a harsh lesson in EPL life with a 3-0 win while West Brom had Roman Lukaku to thank for a 1-0 victory over promoted Reading.
Meanwhile, AVB used ridiculous speculation about his tenure at Spurs to help turn a 1-0 deficit into a 2-1 victory at home to QPR. Laurent Koscielny kept Arsenal’s unbeaten run alive with a late equaliser at Manchester City, while West Ham and Sunderland cancelled each other out in their mid-table clash.
Wigan continued their strategy of not winning anything until April with a home defeat against Fulham. They’re fifteenth now, but it’s only a matter of time before they’re jostling for position in the relegation zone. It’s how they roll.
Ooh, it’s like a terrifying three-headed beast of love. And footballing doom, obviously. Image: David Ramos/Getty Images Europe.
Our usual approach to La Liga results is a quick bit of mental arithmetic to work out the points difference between Real Madrid and Barcelona and some vague speculation about whether the team chasing will be able to usurp their rival to the title.
This has obviously been rendered redundant by Real’s indifferent start, so for today (and possibly the forseeable future) we’ll limit our speculation to whether Los Blancos will be able to turn over their next opposition, which is Vallecano tonight. We’re going with yes, on the basis that their absurd Crissy inspired win vs. City in the Champions League last week must have boosted the tanned one’s mood.
Unlike Xavi’s late goal in Barca’s 2-0 victory over Granada, which took the side four points clear of nearest rivals Mallorca and caused us one of us to drop half a glass of cranberry and vodka onto our glam, sofa surfing sweat pants. Mallorca beat Valencia 2-0 and they are second, although level on points with Malaga who drew 0-0 with Athletic Bilbao.
Anyone know how to get cranberry out of jersey?
Bendy ponders how on earth he’s going to whip his knickers out in just ten minutes. Image: Marco Luzzani/Getty Images Europe.
Cagliari’s fixture against Roma was postponed after the club president Massimo Cellino defied an order that the game should be played behind closed doors by inviting everyone anyway. Cagliari were being punished for their new stadium’s failure to meet safety standards, but it’s possible that Celliono’s actions could see Roma awarded all three points. Which would be handy right now.
AC Milan’s problems don’t seem to be diminishing, either. They lost 2-1 to Udinese, and compounded matters by having Christian Zapata and Kevin-Prince Boateng sent off. Inter also lost, but to Siena, who remain bottom but close to positive figures for the first time this season.
We doubt this will be of comfort to Massimiliano Allegri at this point.
By failing to pay attention to teams like Eintracht Frankfurt, we’re missing out on all manner of treats. Please welcome Takashi Inui (l) to the booty club, Kickettes. Image: Getty Images.
Bayern Munich’s superior goal difference separates them from promoted Eintracht Frankfurt – the only other team in the Bundesliga to have picked up four wins from four games. Bayern beat Schalke 2-0, while Frankfurt beat Nuremburg 2-1 on Friday night.
Borussia Dortmund can only visit such heady heights in their memories for the time being though, after Hamburg ended the Champion’s 31 game unbeaten run with a 3-2 defeat. Dortmund are currently fourth, while Hamburg remain perilously close to the relegation zone, despite a much needed (and quite surprising) three points.
Anthony Le Tallec is clearly not impressed with Paul Baysse’s pony. Neither are we, but hair becomes a side issue when shorts and shirt collude with us in this way. (See Neymar for further info). Image: FRED TANNEAU/AFP/GettyImages.
The shame of being beaten to the tent by four blokes last week has caused us to steadfastly avoid photos of Zlatan celebrating his two goals vs. Bastia. In fact, we’re thinking of boycotting Ligue 1 all together, we’re so ashamed. Suffice to say, PSG beat the promoted side 4-0 and if there was any undue excitement on display, we didn’t see it because we weren’t looking. So there.
In other, football related news, Marseille perch cheerily atop the table after a 1-0 win over Evian, while Lisandro Lopez’ late equaliser for Lyon kept them just ahead of PSG in third and within touching distance of the leaders. The league’s surprise package so far is Lorient, who finished last season a point above the relegation zone. They drew 1-1 with Nice and currently sit fourth. Troyes are bottom after losing 3-1 away at Sochaux.