December 6th, 2010
Weekend Results: Thank You, John Terry
Samir Nasri. We’re starting to ‘get it’. You? (Getty Images/Zimbio)
Is it the cold weather? A new shyness breaking our amongst our baller boys? We’re not sure, but there was certainly a dearth of nekkidness in the European league fixtures this weekend. This makes our job very difficult indeed.
Y’see, when we’re compiling this post we rely quite heavily of images of boy boobs and short tents distract our faithful readers from the fact that we might not be as comprehensive as we could be in our coverage. If there are no such photographs available, there’s a serious danger you guys might actually read our Monday morning rumblings and realise we slept/drank our way through the entire weekend.
Thank goodness for John Terry’s peen. Without it, the weekend would have been a complete waste of time…
With Manchester United’s match at Blackpool postponed due to a frozen pitch, Arsenal were able to sneak into top spot of the EPL table courtesy of a 2-1 win over Fulham. Sami Nasri scored both (awesome) goals for the Gunners, but Fulham refused to lie down despite their appalling away record; they haven’t won an away match since the opening day of last season.
Speaking of appalling records, Chelsea’s 1-1 draw against Everton put the Blues in the unenviable position of having played four games in the EPL without a win. Loan signing Jermaine Beckford scored the equaliser for Everton after a Didier Drogba penalty in the first half, with Jack Rodwell and Ashley Cole both missing chances for their respective sides. Chelsea fans will be buoyed by John Terry (and his aforementioned peen’s) return to the side (left) and news that Frank Lampard may return shortly. They could certainly do with them. (Getty Images/Daylife)
Elsewhere, Manchester City went fourth after a 1-0 victory over Bolton while Spurs stumbled with a 1-1 draw at Birmingham. Wolves temporarily replaced West Ham at the bottom of the table after slumping to a 3-0 defeat at Blackburn. West Ham’s 1-0 defeat against Sunderland saw them drop back to the bottom though, on an inferior goals scored record.
Barcelona’s 3-0 away win at Osasuna kept the Catalans at the top of La Liga, after their 5-0 spanking of Real Madrid in El Clasico had them replace Los Blancos last week. Mourinho’s side won 2-0 over Valencia with both goals scored by Cristiano Ronaldo but Lionel Messi kept up the pressure in their personal scoring contest, his two at Osasuna taking him to fifteen for the season, while Cris is on sixteen.
Breaking news, team! Kickette’s favoured French side Arles Avignon actually didn’t lose this weekend! Drawing 1-1 at home with Nancy, the mighty Lions are now on seven points and sure to be challenging for the Champions League places. In 2019.
Lille’s 6-3 victory over Lorient was sufficient for them to retain the top spot, although Paris St Germain are hot on their heels after beating Brest 3-1. Rennes are also on twenty seven but third on goal difference after a 1-0 win at seventeenth place Monaco, while Nice braved rather painful looking conditions (left) to beat fourth placed Marseille 1-0.
AC Milan are comfortably atop Serie A, their 3-0 defeat of Brescia coming by way of goals from Kevin Prince-Boeteng, Robinho and Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Rafa Benitez’ Inter are now a full ten points behind their city rivals, they lost 3-1 at Lazio and languish in sixth place.
Meanwhile, two goals from Fabio Simplicio failed to give Roma three points. They allowed their 2-0 first half lead to slip to a 2-2 draw against Chievo, leaving them eighth. Daniele De Rossi also managed to get sent off.
In other news, Hernan Crespo scored two in Parma’s 2-1 win over Udinese; Parma are now fourteenth and Adrian Mutu (left) scored the only goal in Fiorentina’s 1-0 win over Cagliari. Oh yes, he’s back. (Getty Images/Daylife)
Shock news from the Bundesliga, where last year’s champions Bayern Munich got beaten 2-0 by the division’s underachievers Schalke. However, devastated Bayern fans should console themselves with this novel approach to match commentary. Innovative or what?
For those who still care, Bayern are now seventh, while Schalke are fifteenth.
Meanwhile, Borussia Dortmund have reason to celebrate; their 40 points from 15 games is a new Bundesliga record. They are top of the league, their nearest rivals Mainz are ten points behind after a 2-1 defeat to Eintract Frankfurt.
Don’t let the missing manflesh ruin your morning, Kickettes! Enter into a healthy Weekend Results debate to kick off your day.
[Cheers, No. 18 for the vid!]