December 6th, 2010

Weekend Results: Thank You, John Terry

Samir Nasri. We’re starting to ‘get it’. You? (Getty Images/Zimbio)

Is it the cold weather? A new shyness breaking our amongst our baller boys? We’re not sure, but there was certainly a dearth of nekkidness in the European league fixtures this weekend. This makes our job very difficult indeed.

Y’see, when we’re compiling this post we rely quite heavily of images of boy boobs and short tents distract our faithful readers from the fact that we might not be as comprehensive as we could be in our coverage. If there are no such photographs available, there’s a serious danger you guys might actually read our Monday morning rumblings and realise we slept/drank our way through the entire weekend.

Thank goodness for John Terry’s peen. Without it, the weekend would have been a complete waste of time…


With Manchester United’s match at Blackpool postponed due to a frozen pitch, Arsenal were able to sneak into top spot of the EPL table courtesy of a 2-1 win over Fulham. Sami Nasri scored both (awesome) goals for the Gunners, but Fulham refused to lie down despite their appalling away record; they haven’t won an away match since the opening day of last season.

Speaking of appalling records, Chelsea’s 1-1 draw against Everton put the Blues in the unenviable position of having played four games in the EPL without a win. Loan signing Jermaine Beckford scored the equaliser for Everton after a Didier Drogba penalty in the first half, with Jack Rodwell and Ashley Cole both missing chances for their respective sides. Chelsea fans will be buoyed by John Terry (and his aforementioned peen’s) return to the side (left) and news that Frank Lampard may return shortly. They could certainly do with them. (Getty Images/Daylife)

Elsewhere, Manchester City went fourth after a 1-0 victory over Bolton while Spurs stumbled with a 1-1 draw at Birmingham. Wolves temporarily replaced West Ham at the bottom of the table after slumping to a 3-0 defeat at Blackburn. West Ham’s 1-0 defeat against Sunderland saw them drop back to the bottom though, on an inferior goals scored record.

La Liga

Barcelona’s 3-0 away win at Osasuna kept the Catalans at the top of La Liga, after their 5-0 spanking of Real Madrid in El Clasico had them replace Los Blancos last week. Mourinho’s side won 2-0 over Valencia with both goals scored by Cristiano Ronaldo but Lionel Messi kept up the pressure in their personal scoring contest, his two at Osasuna taking him to fifteen for the season, while Cris is on sixteen.

Villareal beat Sevilla 1-0 and are third while Espanyol’s 1-0 win over Sporting Gijon sees them fourth.

Ligue 1

Breaking news, team! Kickette’s favoured French side Arles Avignon actually didn’t lose this weekend! Drawing 1-1 at home with Nancy, the mighty Lions are now on seven points and sure to be challenging for the Champions League places. In 2019.

Lille’s 6-3 victory over Lorient was sufficient for them to retain the top spot, although Paris St Germain are hot on their heels after beating Brest 3-1. Rennes are also on twenty seven but third on goal difference after a 1-0 win at seventeenth place Monaco, while Nice braved rather painful looking conditions (left) to beat fourth placed Marseille 1-0.

Serie A

AC Milan are comfortably atop Serie A, their 3-0 defeat of Brescia coming by way of goals from Kevin Prince-Boeteng, Robinho and Zlatan Ibrahimovic. Rafa Benitez’ Inter are now a full ten points behind their city rivals, they lost 3-1 at Lazio and languish in sixth place.

Meanwhile, two goals from Fabio Simplicio failed to give Roma three points. They allowed their 2-0 first half lead to slip to a 2-2 draw against Chievo, leaving them eighth. Daniele De Rossi also managed to get sent off.

In other news, Hernan Crespo scored two in Parma’s 2-1 win over Udinese; Parma are now fourteenth and Adrian Mutu (left) scored the only goal in Fiorentina’s 1-0 win over Cagliari. Oh yes, he’s back. (Getty Images/Daylife)


Shock news from the Bundesliga, where last year’s champions Bayern Munich got beaten 2-0 by the division’s underachievers Schalke. However, devastated Bayern fans should console themselves with this novel approach to match commentary. Innovative or what?

For those who still care, Bayern are now seventh, while Schalke are fifteenth.

Meanwhile, Borussia Dortmund have reason to celebrate; their 40 points from 15 games is a new Bundesliga record. They are top of the league, their nearest rivals Mainz are ten points behind after a 2-1 defeat to Eintract Frankfurt.

Don’t let the missing manflesh ruin your morning, Kickettes! Enter into a healthy Weekend Results debate to kick off your day.

[Cheers, No. 18 for the vid!]

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64 Responses to “Weekend Results: Thank You, John Terry”

  1. ThatWelshOne says:

    By the way, to be a bit dull, whats a peen?!

  2. tsidi says:

    Kickettes. All I want to say is, bless the person who makes the Chelsea kits. That tight fitting top sure does help some of us in having a fantastic week, all week every weeek. Others could learn…. Am a Manu girl but I surely appreciate a good eyefull of graters!

  3. MrsLBaines says:

    Correction Kickette: Beckford is not on loan to Everton. He’s got a four year contract with my Toffeemen. And Jags and JT can’t be on the same team! JT can’t compare to Jags’ thighs and blue eyes … plus he has his bromance with Everton. JT might cheat on Toni with Jags!

  4. cherryboomboom says:

    Samir Nasri is Fine , Fierce , Fabulous scorer and French … what more can you ask for ? ;)

  5. Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

    Nothing can stop the barcaboys, thank god! And I can just agree with all that has been written about Nasri. He's fantastic, and I'm thrilled about Arsenal on top!! Things are going great in Italy as well. I'm so happy for Milan! Poor Sevilla though….

  6. xbabyshakesx says:

    And Kickette thanks for mentioning Villarreal!
    They are an amazing team!
    and i'm soo proud of them!

  7. xbabyshakesx says:

    Arsenal boys, you did GREAT!
    Mr. Nasri you are just amazing!

    …as always HALA MADRID!
    You guys make me proud!

  8. SoccerLoverrrr says:

    Arsenal is at the top of the leaguee..cud things get any better?! oh samirr u gorgeous, talented man <33

  9. nana says:

    I miss Yoann, hopefully he'll be back by the weekend even if it's just for a few minutes. I doubt he'll be back for the Champions League match this week.

  10. Summer says:

    Yes I really thank you John, tomorrow is John's birthday (and also Clemens Fritz's birthday)…I missed you boy…So Happy birthday for both that tomorrow will turn 30…

  11. VS1986 says:

    Good job, Real Madrid!

  12. Jesse_is_a_Gooner says:

    Samir Nasri is a fantastic player, the way he dribbled the ball for the first goal and how he never gave up for his second, I see a great player in making. Nasri is Ballon d'Or material , his consistency is fantastic and he's better than Cesc or Wilshere, Arshavin in the Arsenal midfield…
    But, with the France NT going downhill, I don't see a bright international career for him which is sad. France need to buck up..for this guy's sake!
    What an amazing performance, Nasri. What an awesome season so far. Best of luck!!
    P.S Better than Bale.

  13. juliaellen says:

    Im about to watch the Liverpool game now, the one ive been waiting for the whole weekend. No Gerrard or Carrageher. And hold on…NO TORRES EITHER !!! And why is that? Cause Olalla is having the baby !!!!!!!!! Cant wait to hear all the details about it ;)

    • Niina says:

      Really?!? This is big news! I was waiting to see Nando playing tonight, but I'll forgive him just this once if he's out there delivering mini-me…

    • Deb Stimson says:

      it was good to see the guys step up without those three on the pitch. And very happy for Babel!

      • Deb Stimson says:

        oh…and it was great to see Xabi in the stands on such a bitterly cold day. He gets a couple days off at Madrid and comes to watch Liverpool. How nice was that?

  14. xoxo cr7 lover says:

    Ronaldo was the shit

  15. LuvinBale says:

    Totally thought we had this win in the bag. The second half of the game started off terribly. At least we didnt lose but a win would been terrific.
    Saw Daws on the bench-I looooooooooooooooooooove him ti bits!!!

  16. sil says:

    Let's just say that RFEF is ridiculous!? Could you make up your mind without "others"???

    Visca Barza! And Visca Messi, Xavi and Iniesta, the best players in the whole world!!!

  17. JaneSpotting says:

    Thank you for John Terry period. Uber fine to see him return. Such command of the pitch :-)
    Nice to see Phil Jagielka for Everton..wish these two were on the same team…and there was a moment when one header went straight to other. Hmm
    Real's victory was also nice…good for Iker's spirit, is good for me too

  18. Deanna says:

    Glad to see Real bounce back from 'el tragico'!
    And Samir… I LOVE YOU. Seeing Gunners at the top right now is more than I could have ever wished for. Let's hope it stays that way even when Man U makes up that game.
    And watching my lil Dahveed Silva at Man City be awesome is always a treat.
    AND Chelsea tying! A d*mn near perfect weekend.

  19. blake2108 says:


    Like right in front of me.

    Nothing else matters

    • LuvinBale says:

      Um… please explain and give very detailed information if possible. I assuim you saw him at a game or we would have heard of a Kickette being arrested for jumping on Gareth Bale. Which I would not look down upon in any way and I would bail you out of jail. Thats what good Kickettes do.

      • blake2108 says:

        Yeah, It was at the Blues v Spurs game

        Great day. Been waiting 10 months for that day. He looked beautiful, although much cuter in the warm up opposed to the actual match. Specially when he took off his training joggers (had shorts on underneath though)

        I took a few pics and a video, which I uploaded to Youtube, but they deleted it :(

        Great day.

        AND Gareth Won BBC Wales Sports Personality Of The Year last night. So proud of him. Glad I voted.

    • Deb Stimson says:

      congratulations! I know that made your weekend! :)

    • ThatWelshOne says:

      Would you hate me too much if I told you we went to the same school? Lol, before you all swamp me I didn't know him, I did however sit in a few assemblies with the teenage Bale :)

      • blake2108 says:

        I don't hate you, I'm too nice for that.

        But on a scale of 1 to 100 of enviousness I'm at about 1834673089644793

      • LuvinBale says:

        WHAT!!!!! I am definitely jealous- of you and Blake- the fact that the two of you were in any vicinity of Gareth Bale is just to much to handle. The closest I got was when Spurs came to the states and the played the Red Bulls. I screamed his name every time he ran by me- alas he did not turn in my direction.
        Also he was like 30 feet from me so.

        • ThatWelshOne says:

          Yeah we're very proud of him down here, our school gave him a special award lol. Glad he won the Welsh sports personality of the year, he's the new Ryan Giggs :) I'm 3 years older than him so unfortunately have no dirt to dish on the boy

  20. DeeRoma says:

    Lots to talk about. One thing though, Kickette…Captain America gets his first goal with Saint-Etienne and it doesn't make the Ligue 1 writeup? What does he have to do…cover himself in Nutella and…never mind. I will digress.

    I watched the Roma tie. I don't know what I couldn't believe more…the two goals given up in the last half or the De Rossi red card. Yes, I'm a huge fan of his, but even I can admit it was a stupid challenge and the card was deserved. Can I also point out though that the red card itself [which was not orange] clashed horribly with the fuchsia top the ref was wearing? [Sorry HAD to be said.]

    And congrats to AC Milan for leading Serie A. Of course, come the 18th, I won't be rooting for the rossoneri.

  21. BarceLisa says:

    thank goodness Barca won, whoever made the season fixture list at Spanish FA is obviously a Madridista! Yay for AC Milan. New coach, new-ish squad and they are still sitting (very) pretty on top of SA. Maybe Rafa really was the problem all along at Liverpool.

  22. meh says:

    Samir Nasri…you beautiful man, I'm still in shock about how CRAZY those two goals were, genius! Christmas is coming, Arsenal are top of the league, it's gonna be a good winter :) )

  23. @AgnesWonka says:

    well done Samir Nasri!!!!
    it's so good to see CR could get over El Clásico s***!

  24. @bubliya says:

    Oh so elated over Schalke's win… despite Raul's bloody injury. Thank you MANU! Schalke is indebted to you! That boy, he's something special… and he's a Royal Blue through & through.

    I was like WTF when they were advertising for the Opera… it's not too bad, but I do not care or listen to Opera either way…

  25. Missed my United boys like CRAZY. :(

  26. Zahara says:

    -barcelona is on a roll!
    -arsenal is doing just fine ( but miss cescy)
    -madrid is second in la liga
    -hope liverpool will wil tonight
    -poor inter
    -woohoo for raul!

    all in all, pretty good week for me!

    • Mireia says:

      You're happy that Barcelona is on a roll and Madrid is second in La Liga–something isn't adding up here.

      • Thea says:

        Don't sweat it – remember in Liga if they tie at the end of the season then it goes to who the head to head matches – so we are GOLDEN

      • Zahara says:

        you see, i kinda have a thing for madrid after the world cup, so i dont want them loosing that bad.. its the best when barca is 1st and madrid is 2nd. but dont get me wrong…i am a cule till i die and even after that.i dont dislike madrid, with so many amazing players (xabi, iker, sergio, di maria, higuain, kaka) i cannot resist them.
        hope you understand
        visca barca

      • Deb Stimson says:

        Guess if I lived over in Europe it would be sacrilegious to like more than one team but, as for me, I just love watching brilliant football so I understand where Zahara is coming from. ;)

        • Mireia says:

          "brilliant fooball" + "Real Madrid" = something still isn't adding up. ;) )))) But I guess I see your point. It's different if you're not raised in it, as my friends at college tell me when I say I don't have a problem with our rival.

  27. Alex Samuel says:

    Nice one Nasri, did our team proud ;) I do miss Cesc though, his cute lil smile everytime he scores a goal! Well done Barcelona and Real, but I;d have to be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying this little Ronaldo/Messi showdown. I was gutted for Bayer, but I still love them: we have Schweinsteiger, Badstuber, Gomez etc, how can we not love them?

    • @bubliya says:

      You mean Bayern don't you

    • @bubliya says:

      You mean Bayern don't you, Lack of N –> Bayer 04 Leverkusen, different team altogether ;)

    • Deb Stimson says:

      The goals from Nasri were spectacular weren't they?! The commentator thought his one goal was candidate for goal of the year.

      And then there was Cris….2 fabulous goals, one with a spectacular pass from Ozil. Glad they finally brought on Benzema. Even though he's not scoring, he seems to help the team in other ways when he's out there. Maybe because Cris does better in the midfield position than as a forward, imo.

      Barca played well too. I just love watching Messi…he's really amazing. Granted it helps having the other high caliber players on his team, like Xavi, Iniesta, Pedro, Villa, etal.

  28. Bri says:

    Rafa is making me cry….he is the king of screwing things up.

  29. nooneinparticular says:

    @Kickette, Y U NOT TALK about lyon? they are finally 5th. u cant be fickle like the tumblerians.