March 14th, 2011

Weekend Results: The Skin Edition

Roma’s Totti kicks things off for us with a full shirt-removal-and-swing. Image: Getty Images/Zimbio.

With Barcelona, AC Milan and Borussia Dortmund dominating their respective leagues, our wildly imaginative writers are running out of superlatives. Desperate times call for us taking umbrage in the form of a hastily written and strongly-worded memo, which each league is now in receipt of as we seek to come to a joint resolution on the matter.

We also grumbled about the lack of skin on show as of late, and are pleased to report that many clubs have already embraced our directive with enthusiasm.

FA Cup

Short/shirt grabbing is a much frowned upon approach to tackling. Unless you work in the Kickette office. Image: Getty Images/ Zimbio.

Having lost the Carling Cup to Birmingham City and been knocked out of the Champions League by Barcelona, the last thing Arsenal needed was an FA Cup quarter final tie against Manchester United at Old Trafford.

A win could have restored some form of respectability to the Gunners’ season, but sadly it was not to be. Alex Ferguson’s men were able to put their own poor form behind them to take the tie 2-0 with goals from Fabio and Wayne Rooney, and it’s the title or bust for the Adorkables now.

United’s neighbours Manchester City faced a tricky tie against Reading, and the Championship side made the best of their opportunity, keeping plenty of possession and bravely defending against wave after wave of pressure from Carlos Tevez and a sprightly David Silva. In the end it was Micah Richards who made the difference, rising ominously from the centre of the penalty area to head home from Silva’s corner to give his side the 1-0 victory. City will now face United at the Wembley-hosted semi-final, a fact that is sure to please environmental campaigners the country over.

While we, like other venerable footballing portals, will be reserving the purplest of our prose for the Utd/City clash, it would be wrong of us to neglect the other semi-finalists who went to such efforts to attract our attention (Jermaine Pennant, left).

The Bolton Wanderers also plan to take to Wembley’s semi-final stage after beating Birmingham City 3-2. There, they’ll face Stoke City, who beat West Ham 2-1 in a game that made the headlines for its refereeing controversies rather than any outstanding game play.

A problem we’re sure won’t rear its ugly head in the City/United fixture.

Image: Getty Images/Zimbio.

La Liga

The Ramos. Now with extra zing. Image: Getty Images/Daylife.

It says something about a club (or the lack of competition in the league) when an away fixture against a 7th-placed team plays to a draw, sending shockwaves throughout the global game. But that is the burden that Barcelona – an outfit that’s routinely described as ‘the best in the world’ – carry every time they step onto a football pitch. Because Barcelona drew 1-1 with Sevilla this weekend, a two day period that also saw Real Madrid reclaim three table points with their 2-0 victory over Hercules, the Catalan club’s lead was reduced to five points of difference and a sniff of possibility for rumoured want-away manager Jose Mourinho.

Would anyone put it past ‘the Special One’ to snatch the league from under Barca’s nose and then vacate the hot seat for pastures new?

We wouldn’t.

Valencia (left) might have abandoned their hopes of a top two finish some time ago, but a 4-0 loss to Real Zaragoza this weekend could see them concede third spot too. Fourth placed Villarreal drew 1-1 with Sporting Gijon and are now just a point behind.

For their part, fifth place Espanyol beat Deportivo La Coruna 2-0.

Elsewhere, it’s three in two for Sergio Aguero, whose Atletico Madrid side drew 2-2 with eighteenth placed Almeria and bottom placed Malaga beat Real Sociedad 2-0.

Image: Getty Images/Daylife.

Serie A

It seems a shame to intrude on this precious moment, does it not? Image via el

Having been knocked out of the Champions League by a stubborn Spurs side this week, AC Milan suffered a blow to their title hopes with a 1-1 stutter against Bari. Zlatan Ibrahimovic managed to get himself sent off for two yellows, and it took an 82nd minute strike from substitute Cassano to give the Rossoneri a consolation point. Fortunately (for them), rivals Inter Milan were unable to take advantage, finishing 1-1 in their game against Brescia.

Two goals from Francesco Totti gave Roma’s chest bumpers a much needed 2-0 win over Lazio, and Udinese took the opportunity to fire a warning shot at their rivals; they beat Cagliari 4-0 and hopped into fourth spot. Juventus continued their gentle slide toward mid-table mediocrity by drawing 2-2 with Cesena. They are now seventh.

Image: Getty Images/Zimbio.


After a fairly lacklustre season, Bayern Munich reminded a few people of last year’s title taking with a 6-0 victory over Hamburg. Arjen Robben scored three, while Ribery and Mueller contributed one each. Hamburg’s Heiko Westermann didn’t help matters by netting into his own goal.

Borussia Dortmund’s title chances might have taken a blow after a 1-0 defeat to Hoffenheim, if they hadn’t been a gazillion points ahead before kick-off. Their lead has now been cut to nine points – a fact that we’ll sure will cause much trembling on the streets of Dortmund.

Last but certainly not least, Bayer Leverkusen beat Mainz 1-0 to stay in second and Cologne beat Hannover 4-0.

Ligue 1

While the timing may have been off, Eden Hazard couldn’t help but be impressed by Renaud Cohade’s attempts to ‘bust a move’. Image: AP Photo/Daylife.

Rennes lost ground in one of the tightest title race across the European Leagues this weekend, having been beaten 2-0 at home by Marseille. Lille took the initiative by beating Valenciennes 2-1 and opening up a three point gap, but Rennes might want to keep an eye on third placed Lyon – their 2-0 win over Sochaux sees them just one point behind in third.

A 2-2 draw between Paris SG and Montpellier was helpful for no one apart from St Etienne who trail the two sides; they beat Brest 2-0 to go within one point of Montpellier. Bordeaux, in turn, failed to beat Monaco and remain in eighth position.

Finally, Arles scored three at home and failed to win. Being the kind of women who are attracted by shiny things like trophies and (sweaty) abs, we are considering removing our support for the team on the basis that they supply neither.

Thoughts on this and other important issues, Kickettes? Was the weekend good for you?

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43 Responses to “Weekend Results: The Skin Edition”

  1. @DebStimson says:

    Sevilla played fantastically. The defense was amazing. I was afraid that like just about every other team, Barca would wear them down and they'd just be too exhausted in the 2nd half but it didn't happen. And YAY for Jesus Navas! I really love to watch him play. His speed is amazing…it's like he comes out of nowhere. They definitely are a different team with him on the pitch.

    Hats off to little Bojan though. I thought he had a wonderful game. He was everywhere…offense, defense..wherever he was needed. My favorite was when he sprinted all the way from down the sideline to just outside the box to close down Sevilla's player on a counter. MOTM for me.

  2. xbabyshakesx says:

    Gunners did a great job!
    its just that darn Van der Sar (he's too good! grrrr)
    I thought they played well except for a few slip ups (grrrrrr >_<)
    but a loss is still a loss =[
    and Djourou is in my gunner heart!
    still hoping for the Prem Title!

    and as always HALA MADRID!

  3. xbabyshakesx says:

    They were amazing! and their defense was really good!
    i loved it! ^^

  4. Winnie Mata says:

    poor Gunners :( obviously still reeling from last tuesday….
    i really hope they can move past this and regain their confidence
    the EPL is still in their grasp! it'll be a shame if they let it slip from their fingers

    as for Real, five points isn't the end of the reign for Barcelona,
    but Real has nothing to lose at this point
    two draws in such close proximity is very uncharacteristic for Barca
    especially at this point in the game.
    Real might as well just play hard to the very end
    who's to say what will happen?

    • @DebStimson says:

      I felt bad for the Gunners. Such a bad string of losses lately for them. I do have to think that not having Theo & Song make a big difference. :'{

      More than anything, I just want a close finish, in any league. At least now Madrid has a glimmer of hope that all is not yet lost. The same thing in the EPL. What fun is it if the league is decided well before the end of the season. I suppose If I was a die hard fan of any one of the teams, I would look at things a lot differently though.

      • xoWinnie says:

        i know what you mean!
        it's sad that La Liga has turned out to be such a two-horse race in recent years.
        makes it a bit boring IMO. i want the teams i like to do well
        but i still want them to be challenged! it makes things much more interesting!

  5. kaitlin says:

    there should've been a picture of bojan somewhere in that mix, especially since he scored that one goal of barca's. xD

    • @DebStimson says:

      Bojan had a fantastic game! Unfortunately, the game I watched had Spanish speaking commentators so I didn't hear the story about why Pedro came out. Was he hurt?

  6. suffering says:

    i love liverpool but why is fabio and rafeal so hot
    it kills me

  7. Alexandria Samuel says:

    If I was in charge of FIFA, I'd make it a rule that players have to play topless on certain occasions, such as days ending in a Y…

  8. zztop says:

    oh, and 3 cheers for Zaragoza!

  9. Lilly says:

    Gunners, I love you no matter how badly you get beat down!

  10. Lotte says:

    And I'm so happy that Pep is staying classy and refuses to blame the ref. He said that it was because of the way Sevilla played that they tied against Barca, not because of the ref. Pep rules!

    • @DebStimson says:

      I don't remember there being to much that he could have complained about. Am I forgetting something?

      btw do you know what the update on Pep's back is? I heard earlier that he would need surgery and he still looked to be in a bit of pain during the game. Poor guy…that can't be easy to live with that kind of pain. :{

      • Lotte says:

        Well first there was Messi's goal that was disallowed, and then there was a penalty that Sevilla should haved had (according to most and to me). I guess the ref was compensating. So there has been some discussions, but I guess they died away quite fast. And no I haven't heard anything about poor Pep and his back. I hope thay have sorted it. It is a pretty painful condition.

  11. Lotte says:

    Barcelista as I am I was actually happy that Jesus N scored! Beacuse it was him and because it was Sevilla. Barca can spare one point, Of course I'm not glad for the loss of points but I'm pretty convinced that they will endure and win. As they did last season…and the season before that. Mou "the Whining One" can cry all the way to second place, and then leave so that I can go back to enjoy watching RM again.

    So sad for Arsenal, but Van der Saar was incredible! Totally amazing! What to do against a goalie like him? But at least Chamakh came on, that was soothing.

    Zlatan was a turd. Yes he is tired and frustrated, but there is just no excuse to punch someone. Get a grip will you!

    • @DebStimson says:

      agree with everything you said…except the comment about Mou. You don't have to like him but you have to admire what he's done with the team. Personally, I like the guy.

      • Lotte says:

        I'm sorry I let my feelings go. I can't stand the guy and I never could. He blames everyone and everything else when things go bad. I have a hard time appreciating what he has done with RM, if anything, because of his constant whining. I'm sorry but that is how I feel.

  12. ThatWelshOne says:

    Go Navas! Wooooo!

    Also welcome back Ramsey :) Although I got very used to seeing him in a City shirt….Saturday afternoons at the Cardiff City stadium without him are taking some getting used to…although a wonder goal from Peter Whittingham yesterday did something to take my mind of it!

  13. Arsenalll says:

    Did anyone notice that Sergio Ramos convinced Ozil and Khedira to use the same hairband he does with their names on it?

    • Deanna says:

      Maybe its so they don't get their headbands confused when they are getting dressed. Or helping each other get dressed… Perhaps I've said too much.

  14. Deanna says:

    Best part of the weekend: DAVID SILVA WITH A BEACH BALL.…

  15. Belen says:

    Did anyone else see Messi after the game v. Sevilla with just his blue undershirt on? I know, I know, it's not that scandalous but still – YUM

  16. JA7 says:

    Not a really good weekend..highly upset that the gunners lost agaisnt man united *cries* my analysis goes as the following:
    1-Welcome back AARON RAMSEY!!!! The Welsh man is back and looks hotter than everr! really missed him!
    2-Let's just say chamakh and ramsey on the same field playing football = jizz.
    3-I got realli pissed when paul scholes got abusive and pushed chamakh..who da eff does he think he is? Dont.freakin.touch.chamakh.
    4-I just found out aaron ramsey has twitter :D *follows* I am a happy gooner ^_^
    5-My beautiful gunners plz u guys HAVE TO win the premier league title!!! YOU HAVE TOO.
    6-Btw, this is prolly the most randomest post ive ever typed lol

    • Leya_S says:

      Hahaha "Don't.freakin.touch.chamakh" = love it!
      WHAT, Rambo has twitter?!? I'm ON it!!
      Add me on twitter, too!

      • Soon2beWifeOfNAsri says:

        It might be your most randomest (is that even a word lol) post but you basically covered everything i wanted to say, so job well done :P

        PS i cant get over how sexy Ramsey looks and Chamakh on the pitch too *swoon*

      • JA7 says:

        @Leya_S i tend to get defensive if any footballer tries to hurt chamakh lol :P annnnd fooo shoo ill add u! :)
        @soon2bewifeofnasri ahahah thank u lol :D andd yess they're both beauties arent they?

  17. Sergz says:

    I love Man United's baby ballers. Chicharito, Rafael and Fabio all look adorable. :) It's hard to stay mad at them when they make mistakes on the pitch.

  18. Leya_S says:

    Oh man, Totti looks FAB.

    I'm depressed. After Arsenal's being knocked out of a THIRD major competition on Saturday, I couldn't watch anything else. Edwin Van Der Sar, btw, had freaking the best game EVER. Props to him for that, although every shot I was beginning to hate him more and more. Also the twins up top were brill. So good job to ManU.

    I don't intend to give any more commentary on Arsenal's playing except to say that we're exhausted and depressed. This is not an excuse, simply an observation. Hopefully this full week off in well over a month will be good for us.

    Lastly, a WARM welcome back to both ANTONIO VALENCIA and AARON RAMSEY!!! It was good to see them both back in that game for their respective clubs!

  19. lorena_yGp says:

    1) GO RED DEVILS!!! :-) )) Next station-Wembley and Sheik-city :-) ))
    2) Barca boys aren't Gods…even if some of their players are looking like ones ;-) BUT we still have 5 points….BUT#2 some nasty away games are coming and I've just read that Messi,Pedro,Maxwell,Alves and Adriano are little bit injured :-( ((
    3)Lyon won
    so everything is OK for me right now …I just can't wait to see the rest of La Liga….and CL tomorrow!!! :-)

  20. Thea says:

    Lighten up Kickette! It's mid March and Barcelona have 5 points plus an impressive win against RM, even if it goes to the wire, it's still Barca's to loose! If MOUR is wanting out of RM, it's because he can't get the support of his players – not going to be easy to motivate them to step up when he hasn't be able to do it already!