May 9th, 2011

Weekend Results: Thumbs Up, Shorts Off

‘Dad? Dad? Are we nearly there yet?! Image: Getty Images/Zimbio.

No amount of placing one’s hands over one’s ears and making loud, discordant and frankly upsetting noises can disguse the fact that we are hurtling towards the end of the football season at an alarming rate. We know, we’ve spent the last month doing it and the only thing that we have achieved is a complaint from the neighbours.

If you have trouble facing reality too, please lose yourself in our Weekend Results post, a pleasure with a limited time frame now. Sob.


Leighton Baines looks on with interest as Jolean Lescott unleashes his ‘avant-garde’ tattoo collection on an unsuspecting Everton team. Images: Getty Images/Daylife.

Far be it from us to tread a different path from our more ‘football focussed’ (and less pretty) counterparts, but as weekend shocks/surprises are concerned, Arsenal’s 3-1 defeat at Stoke was surely a bigger deal than Manchester United’s title bothering victory over Chelsea. Arsenal watched their meek charge for the league collapse in a knackered heap as the lifeline goal scored by Robin van Persie was immediately cancelled out by Jonathan Walters’ 82nd minute strike. It isn’t the first time the Adorkables have suffered a major blow this season, but this time they seemed so resigned.

Upsetting, from a team capable of playing such beautiful football. What now, Arsene?

Chelsea, on the other hand, due to play Manchester United in a game that would be nothing less than decisive in the title race, looked tired, bewildered and totally unprepared for the onslaught that awaited them. Javier Hernandez struck the mortal blow in the first minute; Ryan Giggs and Park Ji-Sung combining in a defence splitting display to provide the ball that Cheech put away with style. Nemanja Vidic headed in to make it two, and although Lampard scored a consolation goal midway through the second half, his side never looked threatening. Manchester United now need just one point from two games. Hard to see past them now, no?

Elsewhere, Spurs hopes of a Champions League spot took two further blows via their 1-1 draw against Blackpool and Gareth Bale’s injury, received during a clash with Blackpool’s Charlie Adam. Spurs are fifth, but Manchester City’s remain six points clear of them, despite their 2-1 defeat to Everton. At the bottom, Wolves picked up a priceless three points against local rivals West Brom and are now out of the relegation places. Just.


La Liga

So let’s just be clear. If Cristiano had taken his shirt off to celebrate a goal, he would’ve been booked. This, however, remains unpunished. Further evidence of football’s demise, in our humble opinion. Image: CRISTINA QUICLER/AFP/Getty Images/Daylife.

It’s a shame, really, that scoring six goals at this stage of the season really has no impact on the Spanish league’s title. Barcelona, who beat Espanyol 2-0, were able to ignore their noisy, fractious challengers during their game; a luxury we’re sure Pep Guardiola will have relished after recent events. Barca are cruising atop their eight point lead, but we can’t help but wonder where the Cristiano Ronaldo who scored four goals on Saturday night was in his side’s Champions League semi-final fixtures recently.

Image: AP Photo/Daylife.

At the other end of the table, Osasuna launched themselves out of the bottom three with a vital 3-1 win away at Real Zaragoza, while Deportivo La Coruna, Hercules and Almeria all dropped points and now flounder in the relegation spots. Getafe aren’t quite out of it yet, but did their chances no harm with their 2-0 victory over the aforementioned Almeria.


Serie A

AC Milan celebrate winning the Scudetto by taking their shorts off. Yay! Image: Getty Images/Zimbio.

It’s lucky that AC Milan did confirm the Serie A title away at Roma, because the game itself wasn’t really worthy of any clothing removal. The sides played out a dull 0-0 draw with the occasional chance squandered by both but we must confess we weren’t concentrating totally on the on-field action.

Marco Borriello’s hair caught our attention while it was resting on the bench, then warming up on the touchline before popping onto the pitch for a runabout. For those who didn’t see the game, Borri is now sporting a bouff that demands it’s own postcode. Thoughts, people?

Anyhoo, we’re sure Inter Milan fans will be thrilled to watch their league trophy wending its merry way across the corridor to their bitter rivals’ trophy cabinet. Their boys beat Fiorentina by a comfortable 3-1 margin, but even if they win their remaining matches and AC Milan lose theirs, Inter’s record against Milan this season counts against them. Basically, it’s over.

In similar helples straits are Brescia, whose 2-1 defeat to Catania confirmed their relegation from Serie A. They join Bari, who lost 2-1 to Palermo this week while Sampdoria languish in the third trapdoor spot after losing to Genoa. Theoretically though, hope remains for them. Not much, but a bit.



A similar scenario to La Liga in the Bundesliga, with a team bringing up the rear pull off a spectacular result just a little too late to make any material difference. Bayern Munich whipped St Pauli 8-1, with a hat trick from Mario Gomez, two from Ribery, two from Robben and a spare from Van Buyten. It does them no good in terms of the league, which Borussia Dortmund claimed last weekend, but was still impressive nonetheless. Dortmund, for the record, didn’t really bother to show up to their fixture against Werder Bremen and subsequently lost 2-0.

Meanwhile, relegation threatened Borussia Monchengladbach continued their mad run of form with a 2-0 win over Freiburg; they remain in the bottom three, but on equal points with Wolfsburg. Schalke’s hideous run continued with a 3-1 loss to Mainz. The side are fourteenth and it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that they may be dragged into a relegation fight. Meh.


Ligue 1

Our tour around the sites of Ligue 1 brings us to Lyon’s Lisandro Lopez. We’ll just pull up here to get a look at the view, shall we? Image: Reuters/Daylife.

We were beginning to suspect that no-one wanted to win this title, the amount of stumbling at the final hurdle that has been going on lately, but we are pleased to report that Lille have now drawn four points clear with a 1-0 win over Nancy. Rivals Marseille dropped points against third placed Lyon, meaning that it is getting very snuggly indeed up there; just three points now separate the two. At the bottom, a scrap between Caen and Lens resulted in a 1-1 draw that leaves Lens staring into the abyss. You know, the one that Arles-Avignon disappeared down some months ago.

View on the situation as it stands, Kickettes? Start your engines, please.

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61 Responses to “Weekend Results: Thumbs Up, Shorts Off”

  1. MiraJade says:

    I would just like to point out the fact that we dish out so much crap when Ronaldo is a douche bag or dresses himself awfully, and then when he does one endearingly cute, normalish thing- his goofy little celebration dances- we make snide comments about his shirt needing to be removed. Why, goodness yes, I rather appreciate that top coming off (and reveling in the fact that a man that pretty doesn't believe in base layers) I also appreciate when he just looks like a little boy loving the game. Albeit a little boy who needs to be aggressively cuddled and kissed upon as if he were oh, I don't know, in his late twenties. P.S. The shirt came off at the end of the Almeria game

  2. @AgnesWonka says:

    well done RM!
    Man.Utd is so going to be champions!!

  3. @PolskaLove says:

    Visca el Barça!!!!
    … and viva el Chicharito(?) :S -sighs-
    I just can't wait for the may 28th match! :S
    My favorite team vs the team of my favorite player (which is also my 2nd fav team)
    I want a 3-2 or a 4-3… the barça winning, but at least 1 goal for the man utd made by beloved Cheech~! :S
    Go Piqué! Go Hdz! ;w;

  4. bri_saldana says:

    LOL Kickette! Brilliant commentary on the Cris goal celebration…just brilliant!

  5. Delia says:

    Yeah, John Terry was really demonstrating his love of Chelsea when he made calf eyes at Manchester City two seasons ago.

  6. MrsLBaines says:

    Sigh … Everton are shirtless!! <3

  7. Rossanera says:

    I love how in his comments Zlatan was like "I've won the title with every club I've been at." ROFL. His ego needs its own stadium to hold it. And he was instrumental to the cause, so I think he does deserve a little credit.

    I'M SO HAPPY. Sheer, sheer euphoria. But now this is anticlimactic. What does one do when they get something for which they've been waiting seven years?

    • Jules says:

      Speaking as someone who 25 years to watch their country win a World Cup, there is usually a lot of drinking involved. My credit card statement in August was a bit of a shocker.

    • Lotte says:

      I know his ego has elephantiasis, but he can back it up. And he has always been instrumental. No one can say otherwise. That's why I still can stand him :) . Just enjoy it as much as you can!

  8. blitzenTO says:

    Barcelona only needs one more point to win the Liga! Hope we get it done and dusted on Wednesday and then we can concentrate on getting match-fit for the CL final. ManU are looking really good right now, so I expect an excellent game, and may the best team win!

    And congrats to Cristiano for his 4 goals. I give him a lot of stick (and I still believe Messi is far superior), but if he wins the pichichi he will deserve it. Say what you like, the boy knows how to put a ball in the back of a net.

  9. Lotte says:

    I was gonna say what you just said, so… :) . Visca!!

  10. Well done Man U!! I can't seem to forgive Chelsea right now for the stress they caused me in the game against Spurs. These things take time. I thought for sure Spurs would gain 3 points against blackpool. I swear, watching this team is gonna give me an ulcer! As for Arsenal, that put a huge smile on my face. I've had a long difficult weak fellow kickettes. I've never wanted football season to end as much as I do now.

  11. Summer says:

    But why? Why? Why? Why I've praised so much David Luiz? What a terrible error! Ok, he remains still fantastic but yesterday he played like a mate of my brother, he was terrible. Unfortunately yesterday I saw what I would never have seen, Chelsea was awful and for this I have to congratulate with Alex Feguson and Manchester United, because yesterday was only team on the pitch (maybe against Frank Lampard and other few) and this is was Manchester United. Maybe United are not spectacular as Barça, maybe United are not strong as Barça, maybe United haven't strong tactical players as Barça, but I think that United have something more, something special that Barça doesn't have: Alex Ferguson's mind.

    I hope that an angry 'n disappointed Roman will not sake Carlo Ancelotti, he deserves to remain, and I also hope that Nando will return the man and the player that I have knew in these years.

    And now go United and win the Champions League..

    I also hope that someone at the end of this season will award Ryan Giggs, because he's been really fantastic in these season. Also I think that these, even these incredible years in Red, these has been his best season!

  12. nandosfreckles says:

    As a Liverpool fan, I can't say I'm thrilled about ManU getting 19 titles BUT I can't deny my love for Chicharito.
    Well done to AC Milan, there was just one thing wrong with the whole scenario; NO ABS!! However they did take their shorts off, so I guess I'm pushing my luck.

  13. blake2108 says:

    I don't like Charlie Adam very much at the moment…

  14. FORCA says:


  15. IrishBlue says:

    I just don't see the point in me getting all bitter about the whole thing. I appreciate good football. Don't get me wrong, I am definately not in any way a Man Utd fan! I am a through and through Blue but we didn't play like Champions should and when I think about who really is the most deserving team, it's them. Saying that, Barcelona deserve it too so may the best team on the night win. :)

    • Summer says:

      I agree with you Irish I hope so, as an Italian, that Roman will not sack Carletto, 'cause I think he's a really good manager and a good man. He absolutely deserves another chance, 'cause he won 3 Champions with his older club, Milan. So even the defeat I will support, like you, Manchester United for the Champions League final.

  16. Rossanera says:

    Well this was obviously a FABULOUS weekend for me. FORZA MILAN !!!

    • Summer says:

      Do you remember that I said to you that Milan would have won Scudetto, don't you? Today one on my friend brought a Milan's flag and with my best friend showed it to my chemistry's professor, who's a Interista…We laughed a lot when we saw his face, he was really funny!

    • Marika says:

      Congratulations to Milan boys especially to Zlatan ! Well done !!! I sure hope Zlatan will stay in Milan despite Mancini`s interest of him.

      • Lilly says:

        Z has already stated that he wants to stay in Milan, so I hope they'll keep him.
        Silvio, u don't let crazy skilled boys like that go away!

  17. Miss XOXO says:

    Chelsea lose again…Dont win any trophy this season…Time to Roman show Carlo the way OUT…:-)

    • Yoss says:

      So if you don't win a trophy in one season, you should get fired? What kind of La-la land do you live in? :P

    • IrishBlue says:

      Can't say I agree. Carlo is a good manager, Roman Abramhovic just needs to let him manage the team the way he wants. Do you think Alex Ferguson would let the Glaziers call the shots? No way, of course he wouldn't. I'm sick of the endless revolving door of managers these days.

    • Sarah, Madrid says:

      Dont be like us, if a coach doesnt win the coach is out, not a healthy situation, ask us madridista about it, keep him and let him continue on what he was building on!

  18. FloraJane says:

    It just didn't happen for Chelsea on the day, and like John said, we didn't deserve much more out of the game. I am still so proud of my boys and their achievement. Making up 15 points since March shows how much spirit and determination they have. And clearly if they hadn't had that bad run of 10 games when Ray Wilkins left there's no way United or anyone else would have caught us. But football is full of heartbreak, and while I'd certainly rather win than lose, at the end of the day I'd rather be a Chelsea fan and lose than be a United fan and win. John Terry has more heart and soul and love of team and club in his pinky than I can see in the whole of the United squad. That's worth so much more to this grateful supporter than another trophy. CHELSEA FOREVER!!!

    • Devilish-x says:

      That's a bit harsh. I understand you respecting JT – fair enough. But to say that theres hardly any heart and soul in United's squad is kinda stretching it a bit.. Just look at the likes of Giggsy, VDS, Scholes? SAF?

      • FloraJane says:

        Yeah, as you say, fair enough. It's just a difference of opinion. I do respect and love JT more than I could say, but I'll agree with you about Giggs and VDS, definitely. But I do see different things when Chelsea are struggling- a team spirit that I honor and love and am proud of, that says we're in this together boys – and I just do not see that in United when they are struggling. They seem to care only about winning. I don't know- maybe that's all they are supposed to care about. And I'd just been reading so much nastiness from United fans on the Sky site (about an interview in which JT himself said that we didn't deserve anything more from that match) that I just don't understand. I mean, if your team wins, why not just spend the time celebrating instead of trying to make the other guy feel worse than we already do? Again, I speak about what I see myself and I respect your opinion, Devilish-x, to see something different.

    • Yoss says:

      John Terry has more love for his club than the entire Man United squad altogether? What about Scholes? Giggs? Neville (ok, he retired but he still played a bit)? And Gibson, Evans, Fletcher, O'Shea and Brown are from Uniteds academy and I bet they love United too. And let's not forget Sir Alex.

      I'm all for loving football, but slandering other teams is not something I usually do.

    • Summer says:

      I love John, only God knows how much I love John, but I disagree with you. Yes I agree with John about what they, my beloved Chelsea has done, we have saved a season that was probably lost, we nearly filled the gap with United with hard work and determination, but you can't say that yesterday didn't win the best team on the pitch, 'cause I'm a Blues and I've seen the match yesterday and I saw for 90 minutes only a team (apart Frankie and other few our players) and this team was Manchester United. Also it's true that John George Terry is a fantastic person (even his terrible mistakes) and he's a captain, a badge a legend, heart and soul 4 Chelsea, but he hasn't more love for his club than others fantastic MUFC players like Gary Neville (the best right back of the world), Paul Scholes or Ryan Giggs (He's a fantastic player still at 37, I've to admit it). Everyone has a club and gives heart and soul for it, you should not forget that…Also for me Chelsea is forever!

      • FloraJane says:

        Yeah but Summer you seem to love everyone!! lol And in life maybe that's a good thing, I know, but in football it's not something I can relate to. I'm a True Blue and there's no room for anyone else. I believe Chelsea are the best team in the league and the team with the most heart and soul. But I've seen you get lots of thumbs down around here for stuff that I didn't think you deserved, so I'll have nothing else to say. You go on and love and admire who you love and admire, regardless of team, and I'll do the same and we'll all have our own opinions. And I'll repeat what I said (and what you said, to be fair, Chelsea Forever!!!)

        • Summer says:

          You've said well because only seems that I love everyone. I don't love and I can't love everyone. I don't like Manchester United but there are Alex Ferguson and players that I admire and I like, but I have no doubt that my love is only for a club in a world, and this is Chelsea. I can swear to you that I'm a true blue and deeply in love with Chelsea. I bought 4 Chelsea shirt in a year and half, I usually dream with a number 8 and a name "Lampard" on my shoulders. I always sleep with a number 26 and the name "Terry". Yesterday, just yesterday I attended at a wedding with a dress which was blue Chelsea. When my brother (a United fan) gave me my first Chelsea shirt with the number 26 and the name Terry on I wept. Maybe in the recent past I became more flexible, but my heart still burn for Chelsea. Chelsea for me is still the team and John Terry is still the man, he's still one of the thing that I love more in the world and I'm proud to be Blues. Blue is the colour!! But however I agree with you: Chelsea is one life, one love, one club!!!

    • rozi says:

      you r deluded if you think man united players have less heart & soul….

  19. IrishBlue says:

    Just last week I was singing the praises of David Luiz and now, well on Sunday….He was awful. Chelsea were awful.

    I'm going to (try) and be gracious in defeat and say well done Man U, they deserve the title this season and we don't, simple as. Sir Alex is the best in the business without a doubt, he's amazing. Giggs, Park, Van Der Sar, Hernandez, Vidic, the whole flipping team are amazing. At the end of the day, the right team will win the title.

    I can't believe I am actually going to say this but I will go as far to say I hope they do win the Champions league.

    As for Chelsea, I really hope they don't sack Ancelotti. He's a good manager, I just hope Abramhovic sees the good in him, not just the lows of this season. I can only hope we come back stronger next season, preferably with an in-form Nando…

    • Devilish-x says:

      Coming from a United fan, I too hope Ancelloti doesn't get the sack.. Its very rare that you can find a humble manager who's gracious in defeat.. He's a manager of class so hopefully Chelsea give him time

    • I hate hearing people say that Ancelotti should be sacked! I think he's great and deserves to stay. Chelsea rose to # 2 in no time. Ancelotti deserves a lot of credit for that.

  20. Sarah, Madrid says:

    Congratulation to both Man united and Milan for securing titles, I would like to say Congratulation to Barcelona too, they already won it, what are we waiting for!.

    Anyway, my madridista boys are giving me reason to smile every week when I watch them, from Cris super hat-trick to his celebration with Adebayor, to Ramos sexy header to Pipa joking around the bench with Albiol to Kaka bonding with touchline man on the corner toOzil beautiful dribbling and assist finally again back to Iker ( I dont know what happen I am sorry look <3). I am really happy with what we did since I am not a big fan of Seville. I didn't get what was romaric, Dabo problem with Arbeloa, yeah what's everyone deal with Alavro nowdays, it is weird!

    We already announced our new signing Nurin, I really don't follow bundgesliga, however he is cute enough to be a Madridista ( yeah superficial, I really didnt see him play)

    P.S: I miss Mourinho, I really think the 5 games ban was harsh and UEFA didn't explain it.

    • Slave4Mou says:

      I miss Mou too. This silence only punishes us…. his pouting is super-hot though.

      Still RM was fabulous against Sevilla (love Sevilla's fans!) Ozil was so great – I can't wait to see what happens with Nurin. Also, I don't want to start anything, but is it me or does it seem to anyone else that Cristiano doesn't have to go to Messi-like extremes to score because RM isn't as dependent on him as Barca is on Messi? I'm really starting to hope Cristiano wins the scoring race. I know he's a show pony but I don't think he gets enough respect. Yes, I saw the sweaty armpit pics…

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        He is 5 goals short from reaching Hugo Sanchez record, I still wish he will be the one to break it not Messi. Yes, Ronaldo is scoring alot of goals for a winger, no-one is giving enough credit and saying he shined off of big games is harsh although he scored the winner for CDR!
        Thank you! we dont dependent on Ronaldo! finally someone mention this! Yes, he scored alot this season, but if Higuain was there, he would have a up there competing for pichichi.

        Anyway, I really starting to like Cristano this season, Mourinho has cleaned his perfomance a bit, he is more a team-player and I am so proud of him he rarely dives :) .

        • Slave4Mou says:

          I just finished watching the match a/g Getafe, Another good performance by Christiano – plus the shirt off didn't hurt…You are right on about the no diving (unlike some others – I really noticed that overall watching Getafe and RM – no diving! So refreshing!) Even when Di Maria went down it was because he was fouled. I think too that I am especially hoping for CR7 to win because the media is so overwhelmingly so pro-Messi. There. I said it.

          • Sarah,Madrid says:

            That was actually sweet! Him giving his shirt to the fan! him shirtless it was one more joyable thing to watch. Yes, they are, yes Messi is a great talent, but Ronaldo is right there next to him, they just love to put him down and the guy broke a Puskas record yesterday, PUSKAS! Ronaldo scored 61 goals in 61 games in Liga, the guy is a goal machine and he already prove it in EPL, give him some credit.
            Btw, Ozil-Ronaldo broromance with assists is amazing! even yesterday Ronaldo suppose to be hogging the ball, he was looking for Ozil to return a favor, Adebayor, Benz, Angel all were looking for Ronaldo to score, this I call team-spirit. Yes, Angel dive I agree, but he doesnt dive as much as fans are calling him on it.
            Yes, Thank you Mourinho for Mejias debut! Hotness, one word!

            • Slave4Mou says:

              What are your thoughts on the very serious matter of JM's hair cut? Love? Hate? Indifference? I like it better a bit longer. Obviously, he's still my favourite. No amount of crazy ranting or bad haircuts will ever change that…

              • Sarah, Madrid says:

                Yeah, I love Jose with anything, but long hair is better, however whenever Jose smile I forget everything hair or not long short lol, I really miss him talking too.

                • Slave4Mou says:

                  Seriously, things are sooooo dull without Jose…. sigh. Even the pics of Ramos' abs – as nice as they are – aren't Mou. I find myself scrolling through old shots of Fernando and Iker but it isn't the same.

                  On a somewhat related note, happy belated birthday to Marcelo. He's great.

                  Missing Jose….the Silent One

                  • Sarah, Madrid says:

                    haha! Well, Ramos' abs help me through some bad days, I hope the last two games, madridista keep throwing their shirts up in the air in the middle of the game for nothing!

                    Yes, Marcelitto and Adan is today, Happy Birthday Adan!

    • Slave4Mou says:

      Oop Nuri Sahin. That's the new guy!

  21. Nando y Geri 4ever says:

    I am so happy that Pique scored a goal in the Barca game! I also love that when he scored it, Shakira wrote on her Twitter: Goooooooool!
    I just want these next few weeks to go buy slow, so we can feast our eyes on shirtless men, adorkables, and etc.

    • Yoss says:

      Is it just my bad memory failing, or was Shakira a Real Madrid supporter before she met Gerard? I swear, I have seen interviews where she proclaims to be a madridista, I have seen photos… Then all of a sudden she supports Barcelona? It felt weird to see, isn't that like a forbidden switch?

      • Sarah, Madrid says:

        She was, she even showed for couple games for us, but she is with her hubby now! It is indeed a foribidden switch!

      • Nando y Geri 4ever says:

        Really? I never knew that! I remember when Luis Figo moved from FCB to RM, he was disliked by lots of fans, and on his return to the Camp Nou for a Clasico, some people threw a pigs head at him when he went to take a corner.

    • xoWinnie says:

      that's actually adorable!
      i hope those two last :)

      • Nando y Geri 4ever says:

        me too! if they got married, their bubbas would be soooo cute! His eyes + both their smiles + her facial features = gorgeous!!!

  22. Linda says:

    Ryan Giggs has been tearing it all apart since 1991, Chicharito is the buy of the century but oh my…I just love love J Sung Park!!! Big game player big time. No wonder we call him Three Lung Park!!! :)
    19th title is so close I can smell it lololol.

    Congrats to Cristiano for his 4 goals. Portuguese men rock!! haha

    Bring on May 28th!!!!!!

    • Bri says:

      "Portuguese men rock!" =)
      Amen to that. There never was a truer statement. Beijos Cris, so proud.

    • VivaCR7 says:

      Double amen!

    • Man U are not my favorite team, but I couldn't help but have a smile on my face for them. They totally deserved it because they were very consistant this season. And I agree with you that the little pea is the best buy of the season. How could someone NOT adore him?

    • bri_saldana says:

      Hellz to the yes! I'm increasingly falling head-over-heals for the Portuguese…starting w/RAUL MEIRELES!! I'm especially proud of CRIS this year for not crying & falling all over the pitch….class looks damn'd good on him!

      • linda says:

        Don't get me started on Raul…MASSIVE crush I have!! lololol So proud to be portuguese. Our men are the best!! x

  23. Thea says:

    Happy, Happy – All set up for May 28th showdown to see which league is the best, EPL or Liga!