September 27th, 2010
Weekend Results: Upsets & Armpits
Parma’s Hernan Crespo demonstrates that ‘oldah’ does not necessarily mean ‘ovah’. Parma lost 2-0 to Fiorentina this weekend. (Getty Images/Zimbio)
While we in no way have an inflated sense of our own self-importance, we really are beginning to suspect that we at Kickette have an influence on cosmic events. Our basis for this theory?
Er… we wrote a post about how much vicarious pleasure we get from footie upsets, and we are supplied with a weekend of them. You buying that? Yep, we know it’s tenuous but we’re hungover, knackered and desperate for good news.
But we’d be derelict in our duty to you if we didn’t attempt to exploit this potentially advantageous cosmic event. So while you read our rockin’ results round up, we’ll spend the next three hours writing poetic tracts about footballers arriving at the Kickette office in various states of undress.
We’ll let you know what happens.
Madness abounds in the EPL, where Manchester City ended Chelsea’s unbeaten run with a 1-0 victory at Eastlands. Carlos Tevez scored the winner and all non-Chelsea fans breathed a collective sigh of relief that the title chase wasn’t going to be over by November. (Getty Images/Daylife)
Then Arsenal got beaten 3-2 by promoted West Bromwich Albion. Hmm. That wasn’t in the runes. Worse than that, the Gunners were actually 3-0 down after seventy three minutes, total embarrassment avoided by a late pair from Samir Nasri.
The tie between Liverpool and Sunderland last season was marred by the ‘beach ball of despair’. This time ‘the free kick of ass-hattery’ was responsible for the mayhem and confusion. After Fernando Torres’ early goal was disallowed, the Spaniard responded by pouncing onto Michael Turner’s short tap back to Sunderland keeper Simon Mignolet and passing to Dirk Kuyt who then scored. The game finished 2-2, but Liverpool are hovering perilously close to the relegation spots in sixteenth place.
Manchester United also failed to capitalise on Chelsea’s defeat, drawing 2-2 away at Bolton. Michael Owen continued his run of good form, saving his team’s blushes with a seventy fourth minute equaliser.
Despite being in third position, Jose Mourinho has voiced his concerns over the lack of goals being scored by his Real Madrid side. Madrid only managed a 0-0 draw against promoted Levante, failing to add to their tally of six goals in five games.
Sevilla also surrendered their unbeaten record, Hercules once again the team to shock with a 2-0 defeat, David Trezuguet scoring both.
Previous Hercules victims Barcelona made sure of second position with a 3-1 away victory over Athletic Bilbao. David Villa was sent off in the 87th minute for slapping Carlos Gurpegui, but we’re prepared to forgive him as he looks sooooo hot in the rain. (Getty Images/Daylife)
Another team struggling to score this season are Bayern Munich, who slipped to a 2-1 home defeat against surprise league leaders Mainz. Bayern are missing Arjen Robben and Franck Ribery through injury and after giving the situation due consideration, the club’s sporting director Christian Nerlinger went with the soft approach, describing the performance as ‘pathetic’.
Elsewhere Schalke babes Raul & Huntelaar (left) combined hotness was insufficient to drag their team from the depths of the table – both scored in their sides’ 2-2 home draw against Borussia Monchengladbach but remain second bottom. (AP Photo/Daylife)
A massive result for St Etienne this weekend as they beat neighbours Lyon in a league tie for the first time in sixteen years. Admittedly beating Lyon is becoming something of a national pastime in France as only one victory this season sees Claude Puel’s men languishing in eighteenth position.
Roma finally had their first win of the season against top of the table Inter Milan. The shock 1-0 result, coming via a 92nd minute goal by Mirko Vucinic, saw the lovely Marco Borriello on the receiving end of some innovative tackling from Inter’s Lucio. But more on that later.
Over to you, team!