April 19th, 2010
Weekend Results: Rather Volcanic
As half of Europe remains shut down due to a volcano taking inspiration from Jermain Defoe’s auto activities, let’s take a quick bulleted look over what we took notice of this weekend. Since we’re becoming obsessed with the Icelandic spouter and mother nature’s ability to mess up a continent, we’re also going to try and use the word Eyjafjallajökull at every possible moment.
- The news that Fernando Torres is out for the rest of the season hurt us like a broken nail after a new manicure. The possibility that he could miss the World Cup was much more traumatic: more like running into an ex whilst shoving a jam doughnut down your gob and wearing your “laundry day” house clothes. With a pimple the size of Eyjafjallajökull. And a pair of knickers falling out of the bottom of your laundry day trousers as you gallantly walk past.
- Luckily, there’s still hope Nando will make it to South Africa. Thank Eyjafjallajökull.
- It was a helluvan exciting weekend of footy. Manchester United showed everyone they are not going down without a fight, with a win over City in the derby. (They also showed everyone they can take man love to heights bigger than… oh, you know where we’re going with this so let’s just stop.)
- We said we’d stop, didn’t we? We lied.
- Iker Casillas and David Villa hugged it out with a little skin-to-skin action after Real Madrid defeated Valencia 2 – 0.
- And finally, the man love was out and proud this weekend: Everton’s Tim Cahill needed to be held and AC Milan striker Marco Borriello’s tender manbrace with Alessandro Mancini was reason enough to bring about his sex face.
- How did the weekend treat the rest of our Kickettes?