March 5th, 2012
Weekend Results: You’re Doin’ It Wrong
If Franck Ribery’s panties are an indication of things to come this week, we’re afraid.
Let’s cheer ourselves up with a quick look at what else footballers got horribly wrong this weekend, shall we?
Man on man face-rubbing. Image: Laurence Griffiths/Getty Images.
Chelsea’s 1-0 defeat vs. West Brom at the Hawthorns is the fixture they’re all talking about, but other stuff happened in the EPL too. Arsenal are now only four points behind Spurs after beating Liverpool 2-1 at Anfield, while their North London rivals were defeated by a Wayne Rooney and Ashley Young inspired Manchester United. United are now two points behind Manchester City, who despite Mario Balotelli’s alleged overnight adventure beat struggling Bolton 2-0 to remain top.
An honorable mention must go to Fulham, who thrashed Wolves 5-0 via a Pavel Pogrebnyak hat-trick and another two for Clint Dempsey, who now has ten for the season. Not bad, but RvP has an “insane” twenty-five EPL goals to his name and shows no sign of slowing down. Just so you know.
Tackling. Image: RAFA RIVAS/AFP/Getty Images.
If you’re looking for tension and intrigue in football, La Liga is not the place to be right now. Real Madrid maintained their ten point lead over second placed Barcelona with a 5-0 win over Espanyol, while Pep Guardiola’s men beat Gijon comfortably enough, despite the absence of a suspended Leo Messi.
Valencia have had a patchy run of late, but look safe enough in third after a 1-0 away win at Granada. They are six points clear of closest rivals Athletic Bilbao, who beat Real Sociedad 2-0 and are up to fourth, but on goal difference alone. Malaga are fifth, having beaten Getafe 3-1.
Playing football. Image: AP Photo/Antonio Calanni.
Inter finally broke their horrible run of league defeats with a 2-2 draw vs. Catania. Late goals from the Diegos of Forlan and Milito snagged a point for the Nerazzurri, offering under-fire coach Claudio Ranieri a small reprieve – although if we were him we wouldn’t be making any major office refurbishment plans.
Ibra has been suspended for the last three games after slapping Napoli’s Salvatore Aronica’s face, but issued another battering on his return with a fourteen minute hat-trick against Palermo. Milan are now three points clear of Juve, who failed to beat Chievo at home, while Lazio’s 2-1 win over ten-man Roma saw them hop into third. Udinese are fourth after a 0-0 home draw with eleventh placed Atalanta.
Getting your kit off for the Kickette crew. Image: AFP PHOTO / GUENTER SCHIFFMANN.
Borussia Monchengladbach’s 1-1 draw with Hamburg last week was not just a blip, people. This week, the league high-fliers lost 1-0 to Nuremburg and are holding onto third spot by the skin of their teeth. Fourth placed Schalke’s 2-1 shock defeat to seventeenth placed Freiburg did them a favour, but Bayer Leverkusen’s unexpected 2-0 win over Bayern Munich kept them in the mix for the top four too. Bayern are now seven points behind league leaders Borussia Dortmund, who beat Mainz 2-1.
It might be crap for the players, but we love a bit of mayhem and intrigue in our end of season run-in. You?
Letting an opponent know that you admire and respect his commitment to Kickette’s Thigh-Off contest. Image: JEFF PACHOUD/AFP/Getty Images.
Montpellier’s 1-1 draw with Dijon plus Paris St Germain’s 4-1 win over Ajaccio was enough for the latter to snatch top spot from their rivals, but Mont-P shouldn’t abandon their hopes for the title just yet. Third placed Lille drew 2-2 with Auxerre, leaving them seven points adrift of second and with a mountain to climb if they stand any chance of retaining the title.
Rennes moved into the Europa League spot with a 2-0 win over Lorient, but St Etienne, Toulouse and Lyon all dropped out of European contention – St Etienne and Lyon losing to Evian Thonon Gaillard and Nancy respectively, while Toulouse beat Marseille 1-0 and still fell to sixth. Which sucks for them.
Right, having shown we can face the unpleasant truth about football, we’re now ready for some nice things to happen.
Hello, Fate? Are you listening?