December 22nd, 2009

Well-Suited: Our Fantasy Four at FIFA World Player Gala


Well, this is extremely convenient.

These four very talented footballers have agreed to be photographed together for the FIFA World Player Gala, and in doing so have created the perfect fantasy-assisting scenery.

As all women know, we’re creatures made of many different facets and characteristics. This helps to justify owning several hundred pairs of shoes, and needing to possess a different fragrance for each mood lest we be caught feeling “contemplative” and only have a “frisky and fun” scent to hand.

Which brings us back to this handy photo, containing a man for every imagined moment:

Nemanja Vidic (Man Utd): The Standard fantasy. You know, the very common fantasy where a sexy robot from a planet called Brokennose comes to earth and has his heavily-accented way with you until hip-replacement surgery is necessary.

Steven Gerrard (Liverpool): The Postman fantasy: He’s got a special delivery package with your name on it. You need to sign here to receive this special delivery package. Whoops, I dropped my pen. Works every time.

Fernando Torres (Liverpool): The PoolBoy fantasy. Quiet. Reliable. Shows up for work on time. If you’re up for the challenge and can get him to ditch his skimmer, you’ll enjoy coaxing him out of his shell/swimshorts. Don’t forget the sunscreen!

Iker Casillas (Real Madrid): The Lifer fantasy. Yup, Iker is the white dress/princess/2.5 kids loin girdler type. For those who would be happy to rub in the Rogaine as well as the massage oil until death do us part. Amen to that.

So economical and so timely during this season of giving. Thanks FIFA.

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74 Responses to “Well-Suited: Our Fantasy Four at FIFA World Player Gala”

  1. i dont think iker got the memo of how they where suppost to dress

  2. freddiegirl says:

    I think they all look good in thier suits! Fer’s adorable as he always is, Vidic is just ‘I must break you’ hot and Iker is gorgie. I don’t mind his beard at all, I’d take him anyway I could get him!

  3. queen says:

    definetly nandoooooooo!

    oh.what are you made of nandoo??

    • marianna-torres-fernandita says:

      nando is made of angel material….I’m sure!
      and I’m also sure for another thing…..Olalla is not!
      I’ve been crazy about him for two years now,and I’ll always be!!!!!

  4. Solida says:

    love stevie!!!!!!

  5. hayley says:

    thank you kickette, thank you
    and fifa :D

  6. mertz says:

    i think steven features in my pilot fantasy…nando is the perfect pool boy or chef, vidic is uhm my pirate, and of course iker is the ultimate prince baby making machine. love him. not so much what he’s wearing, and get groomed my man.

  7. helka says:

    Oh, my! They all look so dmn good!
    there’s just… somebody plz tell Casillas to shave!!!

  8. mertz says:

    please god, i need to marry iker and have his children.

  9. Blondie says:

    The pool boy and the postman ;)

  10. Charlotte says:


    Vida. is. perfection.

  11. Homeskillet17 says:

    lol, are nando and stevie wearing the exact same thing?? lofl :D

  12. caitanya says:

    fernando could be my pool boy any day, that's for sure

    but of course, the hottest man alive in this planet is without contest, senhor iker casillas. And damn–love him in a suit, although probably this one could be tailored to be a bit more fitted (and i happen to love pin stripes). I even love his beard too, although so many people are having issues with it.

  13. CAROLINA says:

    THIS IS THE REASON I get up in the morning….. I'm just sayin'.

    <3Nando <3 St. Iker

  14. Trisha ( Mrs Casilla says:

    I'll take me some Iker!!!!

    Oh, Iker did you have to dress up like a Zebra! Alll that stripes.

    Still love you though. I think dressing up like that gives you a good excuse to take it all off, baby!!!

  15. Alex says:

    HAH! Hip replacement surgery… from planet Brokennose… LOVE IT! Thanks, Kickette, for making this boring day go by quicker!

  16. suzie says:

    Nando looks a skinny thing next the others, but they all look good, even vidic!!

  17. Baby Freya says:

    Phwoar, that’s a lovely line-up!

  18. Lotte says:

    Thank you, Kickette! You have given me enough fantasies to get me through christmas and the slow family gatherings. My favorite is the standard one, but i woulnd´t say no to the pretty poolboy. His hair looks better wet anyway:).

    Thank you again, and a Merry Christmas!

  19. AMY9MUFC says:

    i likee vidic there all fit tho :P

  20. Dexter says:

    YUMMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want me some IKER….. HOT HOT HOT!!!!

  21. Avenath says:

    I’ll take the Postman, package and all, home, thank you…

  22. IloveSlavenBilic says:

    Vida is hhhooooottt….as for the rest, Steve is OK, Nandos hair is awful as usual and Iker…well, he just can´t dress, he should be legally forbidden to choose his outfit…that tie is just making my eyes hurt

  23. Zo.acm says:

    Oh Nando…. you’re so pretty!

  24. sounderslove says:

    Vermaelen is so much hotter than Vidic. Just throwing that out there.

    • Regiii says:

      I don't think Verma's so much hotter than Vida. I'm not saying I don't think he's hot. In fact, i think they are both hot, each in his own way… They're just in different stages of hotness – seems to me Vida is a more mature robot from planet Brokennose while Verma is still a young apprentice.

  25. bubbly_cheryl says:

    No words will justify vida here, work it baby! (don't care if you're married- work it!)

  26. K! says:

    Oh..God! i love them..i <3 nando! but i wish his hair had a different color, i think Olalla is not helping at all!! he needs a new look ASAP! and steve…and..iker………………….*O.O*O.O* no words..

  27. Inés says:

    yes, the four look good, but….where’s Messi?!!!!! he won! remember?

  28. jessiciris says:


  29. Mila says:

    Who woulda thought Iker has broader shoulders than Vidic?? And Iker my love, you can’t wear a striped suit with a striped tie. No. Just no.

    Btw, what is up with Torres’s hair? Will someone take his bleach bottle away and give him a haircut? This is getting ridiculous.

    • MissEstonia says:

      Upon first look, I thought it was Guti. It's the pose and the hair, mainly. But to my dismay, it was only Nandita. :( Oh well. But being objective…seriously, the bleach blonde is not good. Whatever happened to his World Cup '06 hair that I will forever lament??

  30. moody^^ says:

    kickette! how could the most elegant player in the world be missing from this photo? you know, my portuguese friend cristiano! the suit looked so well on him and although it wasn’t his night, i have to say he shined brighter than all the others. but that happens everywhere he goes. *daydreaming*

  31. Yao says:

    I’ll take one of each, please. :D

  32. I think you have four of your next Finest Five right here.

    Also, could I just be FedExed the Poolboy fantasy?

  33. julia says:

    nando is so yummie :D and iker too…

  34. Anya says:

    I feel nothing. God, maybe I’m sick?

    Steven has uncomfortable smile. Kind of like an old man without teeth or someone who needs to go to the bathroom.

  35. Redgirl says:

    nando: stevie what are you wearing to the Fifa do?
    stevie: thought I’d go with a dark suit, white shirt, grey tie.
    Nando; good idea. now, you put the phone down first…
    stevie; no, you…

  36. jesus says:

    torres is such a babe;)

  37. Cannot stop LOLing at the Vidic fantasy. Brilliant.

    I’m worried that Torres is morphing into Guti though O.o

    • agger♥lover says:

      lol i don’t think ha’s morphing into guti…..and strangely enough he’s the only person in the world this kind of transformation would not work for at all

    • Regiii says:

      MrsAlonso, as much as it it hurts to admit, i think you made a strong point about Torres morphing into Guti… When I first looked at the pic, I was confused about the fair-haired guy :-O

  38. c9 says:

    I so love the Iker description kickette! Makes me want to have a child from him right now!!!!!!!!!!!!

  39. Regiii says:

    Good afternoon Kickette!!
    I’d like The Standard fantasy please.

  40. Olga says:


  41. Diva Dallia says:

    Vidic, sigh. doesnt need to smile, just stand there…bless him and his parents for an act of procreation that created him

  42. tammyv says:

    One of these is not like the others

  43. MissEstonia says:

    Funnily enough, back in the day (2006) when I used to be a fan of Fernando Torres, he was always the pool boy of my household! I apparently have the same sort of thinking as Ms. Kickette!

    Vida is easily the hottest one of the bunch. Raaaaawr. Hello. I'll sign up for hip replacement surgery in advance.

  44. FootballerChick43 - says:

    Wow. Though I'm not much on Torres, the rest are pretty amazing. Thanks, FIFA.

  45. bam! says:

    Remove Torres & Gerrard & we can talk (and no that isn't any anti-Liverpool bias, I just genuinely don't find either particularly attractive…maybe their bank accounts though ;) )

    Vidic isn't the greatest looker ever either but there is something about him I like, kind of like how I adore Gennaro Gattuso as well. And well, Iker, he's lovely any which way. Ideally I'd want some more Maldini, Pirlo, Nesta, some Becks, some Kaka & Pato…and just to really some my odd taste, some Carletto & Lippi. ;)

    Actually generally just throw a whole load more Italians in there & I'm sold on the fantasy. ;)

  46. caroline says:

    I bet Vidic was terrified being that close to Torres! Glad Stevie isn't making any contact with the manc!! Really wish Nando would cut his hair off!!

    • sounderslove says:

      Haha, so true. That's why Stevie's standing between them. Come on Kickette, surely there's some bitchface moments between Vida and Nando?

  47. Louise says:

    Iker's shoulders look so broad in that suit… Hand me the Rogaine.

  48. agger♥lover says:

    *dies* this made me do a really dumb jig ok so it must be fab. oh stevie you sexy sexy senior citizen you!!!! hehehe nando looks like a cute little tree pixie and vida look very hot but mih @ iker get rid of the beard doll

  49. KateAlonso says:

    oh, yeah, this is tasty :D you made my day, THANKS!

  50. carly says:

    Nah, not working for me, I'm afraid. Except 'planet Brokennose' is quite funny hehe.

  51. klyn312 says:

    uuh- muh- guhd. drrrooooollll.

  52. HiL says:

    I saw the ceremony, so many well-suited hot footballers on one stage.. it was unreal :|

  53. Riya (Come on you Re says:

    I'm brain damaged after seeing these pics. Stevie and Nando are working it. And if Iker would shave he'd be working it too.

  54. Merel says:

    I wonder why the bloody hell is Torres there? Love that guy, but he has been way too injured.

  55. ba says:

    OMG!!! my ovaries exploded *.*