July 13th, 2009

Where’s Sergio? Tracking the Elusive Off-Season Ramos

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Footballer break season has been underway for some time, and whilst we’ve certainly enjoyed the onslaught of holiday photos, we have felt rather deprived from visions of metallic swim trunks and freshly waxed skin. Normally, one can rely on Sergio Ramos to come through with these such goods, but so far, he’s been curiously incognito.

Where in the world could he be? We’ve narrowed down the options:

1. Deep in the heart of middle America on the Hairdressing Offenses Against Humanity Witness Protection program waiting until the offending salon is brought to justice. (Reference photo above); or

2. In Miami getting fitted for his custom-made Jessica Simpson/Ken Paves hair extensions to correct his recent scissor abuse (again, reference image above);

3. Stuck in the queue at Louis Vuitton in Paris waiting to snap up some Kanye West for LV sneakers;

image4. Somewhere in Spain practicing his flamenco routine as he attempts to try out for season three of Fama ¡A bailar! Barring any oddly placed kinesio tape, other contestants will have nothing on his swinging hips;

5. At home in Sevilla with his dog, Odie, catching up on his Harry Potter library of material in anticipation of the new release, taking extensive breaks in between audio books/DVDs to sort his manbags according to designer and color.

We know one thing for certain: Sergio is not set to return to Real Madrid until July 27; the possibilities for his geographical location are endless. He did make a brief appearance at the Belen Lopez flamenco show in Madrid earlier this month, so we think Europe is the most likely answer.

Where is he? Could Sergio be on his way to Los Angeles to take his long-awaited private tour of Neverland Ranch? Recovering after some particularly grueling manscaping?

Sigh. We miss him terribly.

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32 Responses to “Where’s Sergio? Tracking the Elusive Off-Season Ramos”

  1. carly says:

    Can’t say I feel the same, but I like your hypothesis.

    I’m leaning towards no.1. That mop is terrible.

  2. VR2BW-KASH says:

    i’m all for him on a neverland tour however not so much the hair and i’m usually quite supportive of his choices even when they suck

  3. xxrachiixx says:

    I think he is in Dublin with Real Madrid for a 9 day training camp during which they will play local team Shamrock Rovers? I remember seeing him getting off the Real Madrid private helicopter after Cristiano Ronaldo and before Karim Benzema?

  4. suzie says:

    He saw the pics of nando with baby nora and had a meltdown, mutilating his hair.

  5. Nandia Mrs.The Ramos says:

    My last report was that he was spotted in Mallorca.I was waiting and waiting and waiting for a new picture to come up and when it finally happened I wish I had never seen it.Seriously this is causing me pain.I miss my old Sergio SO SO much!

  6. aristeia says:

    Oh Sergio, maybe you should just cut it all off and start over? :/

  7. the notty 1 says:

    No No NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  8. kenita says:

    http://www.as.com/futbol/articulo/ramos-corto-vacaciones-dar-animos/dasftb/20090714dasdaiftb_28/Tes OMG! he cuts his vacations to go to say hi to the others real madrid players before they travel to ireland (that was on saturday and who was the first new teammate he hug? CR9!) and now he is going to go to Mali (WTF? like iker?) because he is UNICEF ambassador =O

  9. carly says:

    Can't say I feel the same, but I like your hypothesis. I'm leaning towards no.1. That mop is terrible.

  10. Avenath says:

    I still can't get past the hair…it's cracking me up…hahahaha…let's just hope he's sunbathing somewhere in Spain or something…and doing something about that hair of his…

  11. Indie says:

    The first impression of the blog is it look like a class room to me.The two nice picture seems there too.

  12. Rusty (Mrs Clemens F says:

    OMG, how did I not notice Javi?!

    Lolinha, he’s NINE YEARS (and six days) younger than me, and I love him. And now I have crushes on two players who are seven years younger than me…

  13. Rusty (Mrs Clemens F says:

    well, if he’s at the LV store in Paris, I’m superglad I skipped it.

    I guess 1.

  14. Michele says:

    Spotted: The Ramos in Mallorca

  15. shay says:

    He is in Madrid at Pre-season training basking in the glow of Cristano Ronaldo as they discuss hair products.

  16. Mandy says:

    I’m going with 5—Although 2 did make my co-worker ask what was so funny! Put out an APB on the boy! Serg M.I.A. = sad day(s)!

  17. fordey says:

    i think hes gone to ireland with the rest of the real madrid team..team bonding before the season and the like..!!  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/grin.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="grin" style="border:0;" />

  18. Raina says:

    I’m going with #1, he must be in hiding due to the HIDEOUS haircut.  (Shudder)

  19. winnieramos says:

    OMG! WTFFFFFF? SERGIO–NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! i'm seriously going to cry right now/ why would my future husband do this to himself? WHY? i think this is a form of self-mutilation…SOMEONE HELP HIM!!!

  20. Merel says:

    Oh man, he should just shave it off right now…

  21. Posh says:

    JaJa, Kickette you crack me up

  22. eRe says:

    I miss You Sergito….

  23. Dani.Mrs José says:

    i vote number 5, and agreed the world really does need more Sergio Action !

  24. Natnova says:

    Forget Sergio for a hot minute…..who exactly is mister cutie next to him??!!

  25. Stephanie?sBojan says:

    that picture of his hair actually made me laugh out loud. just wow!

  26. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    The hair cut is making my eyes bleed it's so bad. *shudder*As to his whereabouts, I'm going to vote number 5, that image puts a smile on my face.The World does need more Sergio action right now.

  27. TammyV says:

    SERIGO – Umm… what the hell were you thinking son? I vote Vegas… he seems like he would love it there

  28. Lolinha says:

    Forget Sergio. Look at the deliciousness that is Javi. Yum-my! (BTW since I discovered he’s 8 months younger than I am, I feel like a total pervert lusting after him. How weird is that?) My money’s on Sergio being somewhere in Spain, stocking up on manbags and other shiny, metro accessories, and working on his abs. You know, gearing up for the inevitable hot mess style/body showdown against Cristiano. At least we can be (somewhat) sure he isn’t somewhere getting married. Great article LOL

  29. nicki says:

    Please please please let #5 be true, that would be beyond awesome! as for the hair…its pretty terrible, but in theory he can pull of short hair much better than I imagined. Oh one more thing…how cute is Javi!? *pinches cheeks*

  30. mrscudicini says:

    oops, under my bed *drags him out, dusts him off* Kickette needs you, muffin. No. Stop crying. Your hair is not as bed as they say *fingers crosses*

  31. TammyV says:

    SERIGO – Umm… what the hell were you thinking son?

    I vote Vegas… he seems like he would love it there

  32. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    The hair cut is making my eyes bleed it’s so bad. *shudder*

    As to his whereabouts, I’m going to vote number 5, that image puts a smile on my face.

    The World does need more Sergio action right now.