June 16th, 2010

World Cup: Hair Horrors To Watch Out For

Image credit: AP Photo/Hussein Malla; AFP/Getty Images; Matt Slocum for AP Photos.

Bad hair. Each of the 32 teams competing in the World Cup has got at least one coif to be embarrassed of. We bring you the best of the worst hair styles.

The Festival Freak

World Cup hair 2010If you’re of the mindset “why have vanilla cupcakes when you can add pink food colouring for fun”, then you’ll appreciate Bacary Sagna (France) and Djibril Cisse’s commitment to the rainbow. We have an inkling these Frenchmen share a stylist with Honduras national team player, Walter Martinez.

Similarly, Greece’s Kostas Mitroglou looks as if he lost a serious battle with a Gillette Fusion ProGlide.

No fun zone.

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The Puff

England World Cup 2010

Spanish National Team defenderNot to be confused with the Jersey Shore’s pouff, we refer you to England’s David James to understand what happens when there’s too much hair, too soon.

Alternatively, but still from the same uncontrollable hair follicle family, is Spain’s “slippery when wet” hair scare from Carles Puyol. We are seriously dreading the possibility of seeing his modern mullet go the tournament’s distance.

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The Farrah Fawcett

World Cup 2010

We only found two men brave enough to embrace this: Greece’s Georgios Samaras and Argentina’s Jonas Gutierrez (Ed Note: old pic of J but his locks are even longer now).

Pretty self-explanatory, we think.

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The “Just Put Us Out of Our Misery Already”

U.S. men's soccer player Landon Donovan

World Cup 2010 hairHeavily receding in the front, with questionable results at the back end, let’s face it: there is little-to-no chance of saving these sparse strands. While we empathize with men who aren’t ready to admit to the male pattern baldness, clinging to what little you have left – ala USA’s Landon Donovan and Japan’s Marcus Tulio Tanaka – only prolongs the inevitable.

Instead of ignoring the split ends and stray strands, keep the mocking to a minimum by shaving the head/seriously snipping hair into face-framing shape. That way us gals can finally admire those fresh faces we never focused on before.

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28 Responses to “World Cup: Hair Horrors To Watch Out For”

  1. Moni says:

    LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
    OMG DAIVD JAMES !! WTF LMAO
    Hahaha Kickette I Love You !
    You Guys Make Me LMAO :P

  2. [...] World Cup: Hair Horrors T&#959 Mind Out F&#959r « Kickette – Soccer … [...]

  3. Zlatanista says:

    Regardless of my first comment on this post, i want to make it clear that i simply adore Puyi just the way he is :) . It just struck me what he might look like with short hair, and i kinda like it.

  4. minnie says:

    Im so glad Torres cut his hair, even though the blond long locks did look good, sometimes it looked straw-ey.

  5. Emma says:

    Love those photos on NaturallyCurly.com, especially Giovani Dos Santos Ramirez. Nice eye candy on a Wednesday afternoon!

  6. Dutch-Somali89 says:

    Kickette you just cant leave out Gervinho from the Ivory Coast…the dude is crutching at straws now…and still has the audacity to braid his hair when his ball patch is sooooo visible loolz poor guy, he needs to let it g, for his sake.

  7. aristeia says:

    Oh poor Sam, he works those bangs. ;)

    Puyi kind of comes as a package deal. You get the ridic abs… AND the caveman hair. ;P

  8. David says:

    Male pattern baldness is NOT a joke. It has ACTUALLY ruined my life. Sure some guys look good when they shave it off but I do not. I used to get alot of attention from girls and to have that taken away after having been used to it is something i would not wish on anyone. I live a bleak and dismal life and hardly ever go out.

  9. [...] Cup Hair: Two Paths by bleimann on June 16, 2010 Amongst a whole lot of bad hair at the World Cup, two players in particular have caught my eye for sporting radical new ‘dos [...]

  10. Alyssa says:

    These are hilarious! Thankfully there are some World Cup cuties to get us through the month-long event!

    Check out these curly haired cuties that will make up for these not-so-great hair 'dos:
    http://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/celebri…

  11. tammyv says:

    The actual hair Jonas is rocking in that pic you used is the Rachel Green bob.

  12. Nikki says:

    You forgot Gervinho or Ivory Coast his hairstyle was a horror to see . And seriously is that Rigobert Song ? He looks so old , I thought he was a coach or something , he looks like he’s 80 !

    Like you said ladies : Just put me out of my misery now !

  13. [...] remplaçants des titulaires pour une fois. L’excellent blog anglais Kickette.com répertorie les pires coupes de cheveux de ce Mondial 2010. Rigobert Song en prend pour son grade. Il faut dire qu’il est passé de [...]

  14. Anker says:

    You might want to have a look at Gervinho from Ivory Coast for a combination of The “Festival Freak” and The “Just Put Us Out of Our Misery Already”

  15. ignaiad says:

    what! but Puyol’s bouncy, curly locks are EPIC!

  16. Oh, my God, I die laughing.

  17. Stephanie says:

    Walter Martinez from Honduras. Frost-tipped bob-length dreads. A look hideously stuck midway between a backup dancer from a Vanilla Ice video and a performer from Cirque Soleil. Maybe it's supposed to distract the opposition?

  18. Emma says:

    DOn't judge the Puyi!! His beautiful curls are amazing…as are his thighs….and torso…..and pretty much his entire ridiculous body…nubs

    • imhereforthenando says:

      I agree! Puyol is such a babe, especially because of those flowing locks.

      However, Sagna's hair is a crime against everyone with eyes.

  19. Missy Manchester says:

    O

    M

    F

    G

    !!!!!!!!!!

    The horrors! (I'm still laughing at the unfortunate hairstylings of Georgios Samaras.)

    How many times have I been watching the games and desperately wishing I was on the pitch with a pair of scissors to slice off hairbands, bad corn rows, ponytails, pigtails, etc. etc.

    Algeria should ban the use of blonde hair dye and bleach.

    I suppose the only reason we're seeing such hideous coiffures is because it's the only way some players can stand out in a team…the only way to express their individuality. And we shouldn't be too hard on them…if every player was a style god…what need would they have for WAGs??

  20. Ella says:

    I would like to add pretty much the entire Argentine team and their manager, Maradona. LOL!

  21. dcubetcha says:

    can we talk about algerian keeper faouzi chaouchi? i can't find a picture with his hair now (think the exact OPPOSITE of this: http://www.hotflick.net/flicks/1995_Clueless/995C… but his old hair is no better…

    http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_sYgY49xy_1Y/S1tHrLjFi6I…

  22. batso says:

    mitroglou isn't in the greek squad.. :P

    Samaras is great footballplayer but he doesn't prove it in the national team.. only in his club Celtic F.C/.. :( pff/..

    GO GREECE!!! :)

  23. Zlatanista says:

    Even though i love little Messi to death, i think he should be included on this list. Something has to be done with that mass of hair!

    Oh, and i would love to se Puyi with short hair! I have a feeling that he would be really hot!