May 27th, 2010
World Cup Merch We Love: Scoregasm
We’re all over the World Cup-related goodies that have been coming our way in the countdown to kick-off (t-minus 14 days, for those counting).
Not sure we can ever top products like Sylvie van der Vaart in her Dutchy dress, but this is the closest we’ll probably get.
Without sounding like a late-night infomercial, have you and your mate ever fantasized about England-themed sexytimes? If so, you’re in luck because the folks at LoveHoney have created the Scoregasm England Remote Control Love Egg, which promises to make you “feel like you’ve won the Cup”. (Frank Lampard not included.)
That’s right: using a vibrator is now considered an acceptable way to be supportive of the England squad.
Using the same life-changing social science that we at Kickette like to pride ourselves on, LoveHoney have also conducted their own version of “Snog, Marry and Avoid”, (just like our own Kickette Army did last year). The LH results? Joe Cole came up top in the snogging stakes, Stevie G. was voted best marriage material, and a huge 73% of ladies wouldn’t touch Ashley Cole with a long, sharp pointy thing.
We’re not entirely comfortable inquiring about our readers’ purchase intents, but we’re always down for a rousing game of National Team Snog, Marry and Avoid. Which three NT members (of any country) make your list?
Via: ONTDFootball.
Would snog Joe Hart, marry Stevie G, and avoid the hell out of John Terry.
Spain is too hard to decide upon.
Spain NT:
) and senna!!
snog: the hole team!! no wait, not Puyol (sorry, puyii but u reminds me of tarzan but you are my faourite Barca captajn!!), Iniesta (sooooory, Andrés you soo great and i love you, but u just reminds me of a little shy kid, & im not very atracted to you
Marry: David Villa Sánchez!! <3 <3 i loooooove him… Xavi is soooo sweat to but i just looooove El Guaje!!
Avoid: Hmmmm..! i looove u all guys but i have to say Puyol & Senna!! & maybe a little bit Iniesta but he's still my 3# favourite player..! <3
VIVA ESPAÑA!!
campeons del mundo..! <3
Snog: Gerard pique, xabi alonso, david villa,
Marry: fabregas, and then i can do what i want all the time
Avoid: puyol, john terry
……also geraaaaaard but i dno where he would fit in :S
xx
(I just realised doesn't bocanegra translate to blackface??? I'm not sure that's a good thing for me lol)
BUT ANYWAY…
Snog: Reina, then sneak behind a bush and snog Casillas then…
Marry: Casillas hehe! or reina im not sure
Avoid: Nando,Ramos,Villa they just piss me off for some reason
I would snog nearly all of the Roja Furia.
Don't need to marry – already done that… and really, where does that get anyone? Oh yeah – the money…
and who to avoid? in all futbol, tevez…hands down… he needs to mix in some evolution…
Spain NT
Snog – Villa, Cesc
Marry – Iker, Reina
Avoid – Puyol
SPANISH NT:
Snog: Iker
Marry: No other than the Bitchface
Avoid: hhmmmm Puyol? I'm a bit scared of the hair
ITALIAN NT:
Snog: Sex on legs Marco
Marry: CANNA forever
Avoid: Not sure…
England – can I snog Stevie AND marry him? Avoid: JT/AC of course.
Spain – snog Iker, marry Xabi and Nando (I'll turn Mormon or something) avoid the midfield munchkins.
Argentina – snog Sergio, marry Messi, avoid Tevez.
Spain
Snog: Pique, Torres, Fabregas, Villa, Ramos
Marry: Xabi Alonso, Casillas
Avoid: Xavi, Puyol
England
Snog: Joe Cole, Theo Walcott
Marry: Steven Gerrard
Avoid: Crouch, Ashley Cole, Ferdinand
Spain:
snog: Ramos and Pique
marry: a thousand times Iker Casillas. Period. <333
avoid: Puyol…yah…hmm….
USMNT:
Snog: Bocanegra. Oh, yum.
Marry: Dempsey! Love him to pieces.
Avoid: Landy D. Doesn’t do much for me.
Spain:
Snog: Um, Fabregas, No, Villa. No, Casillas. No, wait…
Marry: Nando, Nando, Nando, a thousand times Nando.
Avoid: Iniesta. Blech.
England:
Snog: Joe Hart.
Marry: Stevie!
Avoid: JT. No explanation needed.
Italy:
Snog: Gilardino, perhaps.
Marry: Canna. Oh, he’s to die for.
Avoid: Borriello. Hell to the no. That is all.
LOL!! "frank lampard not included"
Spanish NT:
Snog: all of them (so many boys, and so little time)
Marry: Iniesta or Pique
Avoid: Nope, not me
Would snog Joe Hart, marry Stevie G, and avoid the hell out of John Terry.
Spain is too hard to decide upon.
Ohhh!!! I like this!!!
I'll start with my NT.
Mexico NT.
Snog: Hector Moreno
Marry: Memo Ochoa
Avoid: Pretty much the rest of the team. lol
Spain NT.
Snog: Victor V.
Marry: IKER!!!!
Avoid: Iniesta
Italy NT.
Snog: Fabio Cannavaro
Marry: Fabio Cannavaro
Avoid: Anyone that's not Fabio Cannavaro
England NT.
Snog: Lampsy
Marry: Joe Hart
Avoid: Ashley Cole and JT
My Alexandre is not going to the WC but I'd snog/marry him anytime!
i would totally snog/marry ochoa. do i have to renounce my citizenship now? shh, we just won't tell the other americans!!
LOL No, you don’t have to!!!
English NT (if they win the WC I would ‘snog’ them all)
Snog: Frank Lampard
Marry: Robert Green
Avoid: John Terry
Italian NT
Snog: Marco Borriello
Marry: Fabio Cannavaro
Avoid: Simone Pepe
Spanish NT
Snog: Xabi Alonso
Marry: Iker Casillas
Avoid: Victor Valdes (he reminds of my friends ex husband)
French NT
Snog: Florent Malouda
Marry: Yoann Gourcuff
Avoid: Frank Ribery
I want to do one for each team as well but maybe will come back to it
German NT
Snog: Holger Badstuber Marry: Mario Gomez Avoid: Hans-Jorg Butt
South Africa NT
Snog: Surprise Moriri (<3 the name) Marry: Steven Pienaar Avoid: Matthew Booth
Danish NT
Snog: Daniel Agger Marry: Nicklas Bendtner Avoid: Jon Dahl Tomasson
Brazil NT
Snog: Dani Alves Marry: Kaka Avoid: Lucio
USMNT
Snog: Landon Donavon Marry: Carlos Bocanegra Avoid: ???
Hola Kickettes!
I'm new here, been lurking for a while and wasn't planning on posting but this is too tempting!
Ok…so here we go:
Spain NT
Snog: Pique, Iker, Torres (or really the entire team, I'm game)
Marry: Villa
Avoid: Iniesta (he just does absolutely nothing for me)
Italia NT
Snog: Gilardino, Di rossi, Borriello
Marry: Cannavaro (Italian God…just perfect)
Avoid: avoid Italians?? no, niente
Argentina NT
This is basically for Messi…I'd marry him. I so would.
Btw, I flippin love this blog.
Hola Nancy
Marry: Cannavaro (Italian God…just perfect) – totally agree and would also snog DDR lol
Hi MrsNesta
oh and I forgot Totti…I mean, I know he’s not on Italia NT anymore but oh, mama like.
Yeh would defo snog Totti and of course would totally marry Alessandro Nesta, going to miss these guys at the WC
Me too
And this WC is definitely Cannavaro's last, no? Buffon too
Oh well, gotta appreciate/perv on the oldies as much as I could before they're gone.
Don’t want to think about it being Cannavaro’s last
Full on appreciate/perv needed lol 
http://i879.photobucket.com/albums/ab356/MrsNesta/buffoncanna.jpg
oh this is too damn good *loves*
Thanks MrsNesta
I just love these guys….I love Italians in general, back in my college days, I used to perv on my Italian teacher which was of course wrong but I enjoyed it very much
Ooh I wish I had an Italian teacher, bring on the WC already lol
italian teachers…sigh…daydreaming about paolo
Mr Maldini?? Could you imagine him walking into your class?
lol! god i would've learned even less in class if he was my professor. no, my italian teachers name was paolo as well
Spain:
Snog: The rest.
Marry: Xabier
Avoid. None. Okay maybe Ramos.
England:
Snog: Carra
Marry: Stevie
Avoid: JT and Ashley Cole
uruguay nt.
snog: diego forlan
marry: diego lugano
avoid: walter gargano
spain nt.
snog: pique, mata, llorente.
marry: iker, xavi, xabi, cesc, torres, navas.
avoid: arbeloa, senna.
usmnt:
snog: swagtastic dempsey
marry: bocajuniors
avoid: bornsucko (sorry girls, i’m still angry about the inclusion, i know that’s mean)
spain:
snog: the whole team
marry: el ramos
avoid: does not compute
bocajuniors = bocanegra
i would also snog stu
(btw, i love that word! lol!)
Brazil NT
Snog: Tiago Silva/Nilmar
Marry: Nilmar/Tiago Silva
Avoid: 1st choice would have been Ronaldinho hands down but since he ain’t there i’m going with Grafite
Frank Lampard not included? What’s the point?
German NT
Snog: Schweinsteiger
Marry: Ballack (injury, sminjury–he still counts, imo.)
Avoid: Mesut Özil
Italian NT
Snog: Borriello/Pazzini
Marry: Borriello/Pazzini
Avoid: Quagliarella/Pepe – they just creep the hell outta me =\
lol, Quags is definitely to be avoided… he's so skeevy :/
LOL Theres just something about him anddd Pepe that creeps me out…everytime I see them I just *shudder* LOL
Spain NT.
Snog: The Ramos
Marry: Andres Iniesta
Avoid: Carles Puyol. THE HAIR is all I’m going to say ’bout him.
Oh, and England NT:
Snog: Walcott/Lennon
Marry: Stevie
Avoid: Carrick
Oh no wait, I forgot Glen! I'd snog Glen
Spanish National Team:
Snog: David Villa
Marry: Torres
Avoid: Ramos
We’re a match made in heaven. I have the same 3.
A match? You're each other's arch-nemeses! LOL You'd have to do a snog-off competition to see who gets Villa and a bride-off to see who gets Torres. Too funny.
USMNT-
Snog: Michael Bradley
Marry: Stu Holden!!!
Avoid: Never!
England-
Snog: Joe Hart
Marry: Michael Carrick
Avoid: John Terry
I'm going to name my scoregasm "Steven Gerrard".
Hahaha that was awesome.
Lol, that should have been the real question of this post. What would everyone name their scoregasm?
Only downfall is we’d be limited to the England NT (not that they aren’t a gorgeous bunch).
Snog: the whole Spanish national team
Marry: the whole Spanish national team
Avoid: I don't avoid footballers
Love it!
lbar
Classic
:):)
Avoid: I don’t avoid footballers
))
AMEN !
I love it! Couldn’t agree more
<3 you are awesome! "i don't avoid footballers" lol
I don't either!!!!!
so no avoiding tevez? lol!
Spain NT
Snogg: David Villa, Fernando Torres, Cesc, Xavi, Bojan and Valdes
Marry: David Villa, Fernando Torres
Avoid:Carlos Puyol
France NT
Snog-Theiry Henry
Marry- *YOANN GOURCUFF!!! *
Avoid- Frank Ribery !
Spain:
Snog: I don't know why but -Sergio Ramos,no wait Cassilas,no Valdes
Marry: el Nino
Avoid: Puyol
I'd like to do one for each team, but anyway,
Spain NT
Snog: David Villa
Marry: Fernando Torres
Avoid: Sergio Ramos
And because I can't resist, Argentina
Snog: Sergio Aguero
Marry: Lionel Messi
Avoid: Carlos Tevez
Whew, I'm done.
Avoid The Ramos…..What the flip?!?!?!?
Can't help it. He's okay. It's just those green jeans that have put me off him forever.