July 5th, 2010
World Cup Results: We’re Down To Four
In his hour of desperation, Paraguay’s Nelson Valdez remembers the Kickette laydeez. Image: Getty Images via Zimbio
It’s time to face the truth, Kickettes. We’re running out of football. Only three games remain before that yawning chasm that is the off-season opens up before us. Frankly, we’re nervy.
Our only consolation? After all this is over is we will pick ourselves up, pack our lotion, sunnies and industrial-size drum of vodka, before heading off to stalk football players across the globe as they attempt to have a peaceful, private holiday with their families.
In the meantime, please enjoy our thoughts on the feast of footie that was the WC quarter final matches from Friday and Saturday. Wooh hah!
Netherlands 2 Brazil 1
Image: Getty Images via Daylife
One of the most madcap ties of the World Cup so far, with tournament faves Brazil taking a lead early and then chucking it away in a hail of poor tackles and unnecessary hissy fits. Felipe Melo’s stamp on Arjen Robben not only earned him a red card but a cheery reception upon the squad’s return to Brazil.
Brazil’s exit has now resulted in coach Dunga and his technical staff being summarily ‘relieved of their duties’ and though we’ve waved a tearful farewell to the Brazilian boys, the presence of the Dutch in the final four gives us even more opportunity to nurture our newly discovered and delicately flowering crush on Klaas-Jan Huntelaar. Which is the most important thing.
Uruguay 1-1 Ghana (Uruguay win 4-2 on penalties)
Sebastian Eguren & Diego Perez of Uruguay are suitably chastened by the circumstances of their win. Image: Getty Images via Daylife.
Unfortunately for our office manicurist, penalty shoot outs have been mercifully few during this World Cup. We were glad. This is why.
After a highly entertaining ninety minutes without goals, periods of which Ghana totally dominated Uruguay, the game went to extra time. Late on in the second period, a Ghana shot was palmed off the line by Luis Suarez. Asamoah Gyan missed the resulting penalty, a shoot out ensued and Ghana lost. Ugh. But nevermind. We can console ourselves with the knowledge that Diego Forlan’s awesomeness will continue into the semi-finals. Good news for ab aficionados everywhere!
Argentina 0-4 Germany
Leo Messi chats with Manuel Neuer during the game. Image: Getty Images via Daylife
Having ripped England a new one in their second round game, this match was expected to be a clash of the titans. What actually transpired was simple and straightforward. Germany tore through the Argentine defence as though it was made of pure… well… English defence, scoring another four goals and setting up a tasty meeting with Spain.
Initial reports that Diego Maradona took defeat gracefully were greatly exaggerated.
Paraguay 0-1 Spain
Image: Getty Images via Daylife.
The saga of Fernando Torres and his missing mojo continued to bother us as Spain squeaked their way into the semis but muchos kudos goes to the Paraguyan NT who played the hearts out to close La Roja down. David Villa finally broke the deadlock, taking his tourney tally to five. Golden Soul Patch Boot, anyone?
In other news, The Ramos took a nasty blow to the head resulting in his personalised headband being replaced by a totally unpersonalised head bandage (above). We’re surprised. We would have thought that he’d prepared for this eventuality with a fully tagged medical kit in a specially designed Gucci manbag.
Kickettes? Are either of these hair related decisions wise? And will they impact on Spain’s chances of winning the trophy?