August 5th, 2010
Would You: Javier Hernandez, Manchester United
Good grief! Is he wearing a bib?! Images: Getty Images, Reuters via Daylife
So we’re thinking of moving to ‘Cougar Town’. There’s nothing else for it. When the pups turn up and you start confusing lustful leanings with ovary explosions, it simply gets too weird.
This, ladies (and some gents), is Javier Hernandez. You will recognise him from Mexico’s World Cup squad and if you’ve been paying serious attention, as the latest signing for Manchester United. His nickname is Chicharito (means ‘Little Pea’, amusingly), he is twenty two years old and scored on his debut for United against MLS All-Stars on their US tour.
Sure, twenty-two is perfectly legal and acceptable. But Javier looks nowhere near his age. He looks like an embryo crossed with a fetus with a side of Justin Bieber. That’s what messes with our heads, dear readers.
Is it his deep brown eyes we find so utterly compelling? Perhaps. His taut thighs? Probably. His uncanny ability to make notoriously fierce uber manager Alex Ferguson look like a friendly Grampy (left)? Undoubtedly.
There is one thing we know for certain, though. If we carry on like this, a career in crap romantic fiction beckons.
Tell us what you think of Chicharito, Kickettes; we’re off to have a lie down.