March 16th, 2010

Would You: Marouane Chamakh, Bordeaux

Just hear us out, Kickettes.

In the competitive world of the Wagabee, the tiniest margin can be the difference between success and abject failure.

A key plan of attack is identification of target before anyone else. This means the ability to see through any potential physical flaws of a player to the scrumptious loveliness that may lie underneath.

Case in point: Mr. Marouane Chamakh. Currently playing up front for Bordeaux, this boy has already attracted the eye of one Arsene Wenger and in all likelihood will become big news in the coming months. Bit of a cutie? Maybe. Gourcuff seems to think so, and he’s good-looking enough for us to value his opinion.

But there’s an elephant in the room.

The ‘extra from Star Trek’ hair is generally agreed to be nothing short of horrifying. Sitting opposite this hair in a restaurant, no matter how dim the mood lighting may be, would require an iron focus on future spending and a strength of purpose like few women have known before.

The question? Like an interior designer viewing a derelict building, are you prepared to put up with a few months of wading through rubble and builders backsides so you can bask in the beauty of what you have created? Can you put aside the unpleasantness for the time it takes to plug in the hair clippers?

Not convinced? Victoria Beckham started with this. We all know where that ended up, don’t we…

Do tell, dear readers: would you consider taking on the Chamakh challenge?

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59 Responses to “Would You: Marouane Chamakh, Bordeaux”

  1. hindmorocco says:

    I speak with you smiley !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. hindmorocco says:

    No, it's not ugly, as you say it's more than handsome and sexy of course because he is Moroccan, and have a tan wonderful and that picture that you think it's conclusive proof does not mean anything because anyone who plays his face will look like ugly and this is meant to play face you are also Stzhreinn ugly when you try to play your face that he handsome love of love and hatred of hatred by the way his hair more than wonderful, thank you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. hindmorocco says:

    wawww i love you marouane chamakh you are very sexy !!! and hot !!! of course yeah !!! beaucause you are moroccan boy !!!!! i love you !! and viva morocco !!!!!!!!!!

  4. keri says:

    OMG! I think he is really cute=)…..hes hott!!!!

  5. Gen says:

    About time someone noticed the hotness that Marwan is. I’d totally tap it!

  6. smiley says:

    no i definately would not, hes ugly and very skinny have you seen him with his shirt off? i like my men to look like men not have the body of a 14 year old boy, and thats actually a very good picture of him compared to many i have seen. such as…

  7. freddiegirl says:

    What? Arsenal? Really? That’d be great! His dorky hair will fit in nicely with Van Persie’s big feet and the silliness of Arshavin and Rosicky. Ahh what do I care; as long as he scores! As for him being cute…yes he is..he can be cute along side Thomas and Cesc.. :)

    • arseneisall says:

      you my friend are a fucking moron. Rosicky and Arshavin are world class footballers while you would be lucky to kiss the feet of van Persaie

  8. Nanou'sBlues says:

    I’d do him… and Yoann… at the same time possibly. I’ll bring my scissors, or an electric shaver.

    • sounderslove says:

      you know, he might actually be able to pull off the shaved head….go with the razor!

  9. Double Dusse says:

    No Way !

    talking about Girondins, even Jean-Paul Mastata looks like much more sexy than the Modem’s Girafon !

  10. Liz says:

    I have been doing him in my mind for months now haha

  11. lesgirondins says:

    I’ll take him. And Yoann. At the same time please?

  12. liv says:

    Bordeaux boys are nice to look at; i have to start watching french leauge now.he's a cutie, but no!

    • MrsCole says:

      Yes, you're right, their friendship and complicity is so nice to see!

      And on the pitch, they're great! They scored many goals for us and they are just legendary out there. Love them!

  13. Olya says:

    lol he's a poor man's Ronaldo…..but he'll do :)

  14. Nadia says:

    Hahaha I looove him for years now!!! He is really famous here in France and more in Morocco!! I can tell you a lot of girls love him!! And I do since the first day I saw him lol.
    He is more than cute, he’s an handsome guy. He looks like the moroccan type of guys. I just loveeee Marouane ♥♥♥!!!

  15. Rosey says:

    Oh I heart him! My friend and I have dubbed the bromance with him and Lashes (Yoann): CHAMCUFF….like it? :-)

    There are better pics of him. He kinda reminds me of a taller, skinnier, WAY, WAY WAY, less dirtier version of CRon. The hair is similar and they both have that Moroccan look. That is why I refer to him as FMC (French Moroccan Cutie).

    Google image search him for more pics and you’ll see he has also some pretty sexy lips! ;-)

  16. Zo.acm says:

    Apart from the hair, he reminds me a little of Santiago Munez from the Goal Movies… same happy, naive eyes. He’s pretty cute.

    • sounderslove says:

      haha, pretty much the only thing i remember from the goal movies is when Iker catches the cell phone in the swimming pool…everything after that is a blur…

      • YouNeverWalkAlone says:

        Ohhhh loool i know that was my favorite scene in the whole movie!!!

        That was the ONLY reason I liked the movie–it had a lot of superstars from Real Madrid. (Iker, Ramos, Beckham, Guti, Raúl) That was the only reason i liked it….But I still liked it enough to watch it twice!

  17. LizB (Mrs. Vucinic) says:

    Thank god it’s really only the hair that’s awful. The foundations for attractiveness are there… he just needs a bit of tweaking. Time to find some scissors and hide the hair gel.

  18. Senorita Iniesta says:

    He’s on my radar since a couple of months now …
    So, yes, damn right I would … :)

  19. sounderslove says:

    ah, here we go. Sorry the pic is so small, but it should give you a good idea of what can be achieved with a good haircut

  20. AMY-MUFC says:

    i would :P

  21. Désolée, j’aime pas. Now give me some Yoann Gourcuff!

  22. Ana;) says:

    Lol his hair makes me laugh, bless him!! He has a cute face though.
    All the money in the world and he can’t get his hair cut…ohhh Chamakh!
    As an Arsenal fan, and Yoann fan, I say Yoann to Arsenal instead!
    He’s gorgeaus need I same more?
    On a serious note, Chamkh could really do with a cut. I think it’s just the hair letting him done. To answer your question Kickette I’d take on the challenge. Any friend of Yoann’s is a find of mine! ;)

    • Ana;) says:


    • Linda (Gooner till I die) says:

      God.. Yoann at Arsenal… I would take him in a heartbeat. :)
      Unfortunately, Arsene sees things differently…. :(

      • Ana;) says:

        Lol I know, I wish!!

        Aww Arsene… :( I think next season we should invest wisely Yoann's yummy, women love him and he's a good player- so guys would love him. It's win win! lol :)

  23. Nandia says:

    I saw him play in Athens against Olympiakos and I say YES!

  24. Mayita says:


  25. Linda (Gooner till I die) says:

    wow… our future striker (I hope!).
    I don’t give a damn about his look… as long as he scores goals.

    • Gen says:

      and he will! Especially with Cesc feeding him some amazing passes. We’re gunna be set.

  26. Sarah says:

    Maybe his hair will get better once he comes to Arsenal. I mean, Cesc used to have a mullet.

  27. Innocenza says:

    What? Bordeaux has other players besides Yoann?

  28. FootieCutie says:

    hell yes i would ;D

  29. Molly says:

    He needs a new hair cut but besides that he's cute.

  30. Blair says:

    No, no I wouldn’t. The long hair in the back makes me cringe.

  31. Aisha says:

    FINALLY KICKETTE!! I've fancied him for over 7-8 months now, and I was hoping one day you would make a post about him to realise his hotness, and that day is today! And yes, I would… all night. And BTW, I love his hair.

    • MrsCole says:

      Same here! I've been a fan since a long time. And just hear him speak with this little Bordeaux accent…awww lol

      • rain_s_child says:

        yes, yes, i like him and i was actually wondering when he'd be making his entrance in kickette world. maybe he's a little bit of a cr9 wannabe but who can blame him?

  32. Einah says:

    He looks like the type to go hotter when he gets older. Potential sizzle!

  33. Jen says:

    I actually like his hair

  34. shay says:

    Only if he wears a bag and a yohann mask underneath in case the bag falls off.

  35. sounderslove says:

    Um….I would. It's not his best pic, and the hair can be fixed.

  36. Missy Manchester says:

    Kickette…I'm still laughing. Your links to back up your arguments are perfect!! ("abject failure"…."VB started with this"…)

    RE: Would I/wouldn't I —>> Marouane

    I'd have to hear him talk before I'd know if he was worth it for the long haul. If money was the only criteria for wagabees…everyone would want Tevez. Brains, personality and talent…are critical factors on deciding on whether to invest the rest of your life turning a Marouane into a Beckham.

  37. Leny says:

    He's cute! The hair is bad but he has nice sensitive eyes.

  38. Lilipop says:

    Marouane is handsome, and this is a bad picture of him, I don't undertand why he feels the need to have such a bad haircut

    Still, I think that it' better to date a handsome with a bad haircut, as it can be changed, than the contrary

    (we've had this debate for ages with one of my best friends!)