February 3rd, 2011

Wrap It Up: Scarf Wranglers Amongst Us

While snoods have been must have fashion accessory for footballers this season, it seems that the sudden requirement for throat warmth is not confined to the pitch. Yes people, scarves are the new manbag, and festooning oneself with varying lengths of woolly or shiny (or in some horrifying cases, both) material is really catching on over on Planet Baller.

But, as is usual with these short lived crazes, there appears to be some confusion as to how to wear said garment. Outfits are made or broken by the shape of the drape and we are concerned that a players’ sex appeal (surely the most important consideration for a club when considering a purchase) may be irreparably damaged by an incorrectly applied neckerchief.

In our highly scientific survey we have selected a few recent scarf wranglers and critiqued their ensemble. Feel free to enjoy our thoughts, then answer this. Do you love a man in a muffler? Or should the trend be permanently benched?

The ‘Bish, please’ – Modelled By Pep Guardiola (top)

Too busy to muck about with drapery? The frippery of fashion too much to bear? Then you should be sporting the ‘Bish, please’ scarf. A totally functional garment, specifically designed for warmth and neck security in business-like muted tones, Pep is even too busy to ensure that the tell-tale label isn’t showing. It’s CP Company, famed for their low key luxe.

Hot, no?  

The Semi-Poncho – Modelled by Mesut Ozil

Mesut has a worrying history of straying into the costumery department in his search for couture. Who can forget his clown-related calamity? Shudder. And while we approached his recent shopping expedition ensemble with caution, we feel that his traditional drape shape plus hat is confusingly cute. Perhaps this casual cool stems from relief that he extricated himself from a romantic situ before it got messy? Or maybe he’s just running interference from a bad hair day (left).

Well, you would, wouldn’t you? (Image via starflash.de)

‘The Metrosexual Tramp’ - Modelled by David Beckham

Speaking of ‘running interference from a bad hair day’, please welcome David Beckham.

For a fashion icon to plunge to such hairy depths is traumatic to say the least, but  we feel a well chosen, neatly tied scarf could distract from the fuzz and give our ailing libidos something to rest on. Well, we’ll never know now, will we?

We can only assume that in a gesture of brotherly love, D Becks let BFF Gary Neville tie his beige beastie  for him. It’s the only explanation we’re prepared to countenance for this shambolic scarfery.  (Reuters/Daylife)

The String – Modelled By Joe Cole

Serving no useful function whatsoever, ‘the string’ hangs limply from the neck, looks weird and offers little in the way of relief from Joe’s jacket. This is a man on his way up… to the local working men’s club for beer and pork scratchings. It is also the kind of fashion confusion that may encourage a fellow player to seek pastures new.

Just kidding.

Fash hacks? It’s over to you.

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40 Responses to “Wrap It Up: Scarf Wranglers Amongst Us”

  1. Shauna says:

    When I see Mesut (above) the only thought which comes to mind is: "Dear Mesut, please may I have my tablecloth and teacosy back? many thanks & lots of love, Mommy."

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  3. Penny0214 says:

    I like scarves on guys in the winter, but I think summer scarves should be reserved for females only.

  4. LL_o says:

    Özil you're lovely and look hot no matter what you have on…….(mmmm how 'bout nothing baby??) …

  5. Jjigs19 says:

    Özil. Stop making me love you. :)

  6. Zahara (Spain NT, Barca lover) says:

    sure pep isnt 23, but damn the guy is hot…he can do no wrong in my eyes so i love the scarf thing..
    ozil looks…erm, funky

  7. rainstarmcgee says:

    Pep is such a daper man! I'm really not into Ozil, but my damn he looks so cute in that beanie!

  8. rubyqueen says:

    i love a man in a scarf.they look so delicious.:) we are forgetting they king of the scarf wearers though kickettes.!!!what about jose mouriniho.???

  9. Real Madrid23 says:

    love ozil forever

  10. Zinny says:

    Mesut. Oh my goodness. I am just dumbstruck. He looks like a female hipster from Grenwich village.
    Pep, please help him see the light.

  11. chocoholic says:

    German king of scarves: Bastian Schweinsteiger! http://www.merkur-online.de/bilder/2010/05/07/752…
    am to lazy right now, looking up more pictures of him

  12. BallerBotherer says:

    Picture number 2, Ramos wears scarf.
    Now its a trend!

  13. Angela says:

    No one can work a scarf like Pep.

  14. Maria says:


  15. chefdi says:

    Ladies, what fabulous comments! I double, second, triple, quintuple the compliments to Pep, the scarf is beyond fine with me, he's never wore anything I have issue with. The other "king" of scarf, I think, is Roberto Mancini (ManCity) ~ he prided himself on bringing scarf fashion to EPL after his tradition in Milan with Inter … according to him, anyway.

  16. lilygold says:

    Given the choice of any Footballer, past or present I would go for Pep or Zidane any day of the week . Too hot to trot ! Must be the bald head I reckon.

  17. Leá says:

    Pep looks better on his off days than most men ever do. He is beyond attractive.

  18. fifi2000 says:

    you totally forgot the king of scarf : José M himself girls ! http://static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Sport/Pix/col…

  19. chay says:

    seriously–pep could wear a burlap potato sack and he'd still have a bazillion women clamouring to get to him! so sexy, this man!

  20. Tricia says:

    Pep's scarf is a bit . . . errrmmm, small. I trust it's not a metaphor for anything at all. *chortle* Ozil's scarf is more stutter than fashion statement. Becks is Becks. Fabulous. Joe Cole's scarf is performing about the same role as he does at Liverpool at the moment: second string, throw it on and looks desperate. But I can't believe you didn't mention the current managerial fad of wearing club scarves on the touchline. Mancini does it very well, Avram Grant's looks like a noose before a lynching.

  21. BarceLisa says:

    well said. And he was such an underrated hottie.

  22. Lotte (Zlatanista) says:

    Pep is oh so hot whatever he choses to wear. He is just a feast for the eyes! It's a great big bonus that he happens to coach the most perfect team!

    And "confusingly cute" is so spot on when it comes to describe Özil! How come a boy with big bulgy eyes and a diminutive mouth is so… pretty? I find him very attractive actually. And I like to watch him play, I must admit.

    • blitzenTO says:

      ITA! Pep is THE MAN whether he is in a suit, jeans and sweater, or nothing but a scarf (or is that last one just in my imagination?).

      And I agree with you about Ozil. He is very different but I like him a lot.

    • Angela says:

      Özil really is adorable, and I can't explain why I'm attracted to him, neither! Ah well, no use in fighting it. :)

  23. Rossanera says:

    I would like Pep Guardiola to keep me warm during the remaining days of Snowmaggedon 2011. Just saying.

  24. BarceLisa says:

    I'm loving the Berber tribesman look that Pep is going for. Becks, with the beard, looks too much like a hobo and why does Joe Cole even bother? Ozil's look is ok but I don't like the scarf itself, not very masculine. He should go with a traditional keffiyeh.

  25. gin_in_teacups says:

    Ozil looks very feminine in that get up. And yet I still finding him oddly enticing.

    Overall I don't like most of these. Ozil and Becks both look too girly and Joe Cole, I just don't know what's going on there. Pep's the only one doing it correctly – functional and stylish but still masculine. Although I prefer all of these to those damn snoods. Just get a cowl and call is a day guys (lookin' at you Mou and Sergio).

  26. Missy Manchester says:

    I have but three things to say:

    1. Pep is perfection.

    2. I thought Mesut Ozil was a girl. (Swear to God I did.)

    3. David Beckham is wearing Gary Neville's hair.

  27. Niina says:

    Love, love, love Özil. Is it just me or has he gotten a thousand times hotter since joining Real Madrid?! He's surely been taking lessons from the Ramos, they're starting to look alarmingly alike, which could be why I'm finding him so attractive right now. I don't even notice the Gollum eyes anymore. Lovely.

  28. Leya_S says:

    1. Pep = hot. Always. Even the tag.
    2. Ozil's scarf drape is usually my fave on men. But I got distracted by that HEINOUS mullet in his second picture, omg!
    3. Becks……..*sigh* "What, Dave, you're choking on 1000 yards of fabric? Oh no, no, I promise that's how its supposed to be!" "Are you sure about this Gary?" "Course. It looks as good as your hair!"
    4. The String is weird. I hate skinny scarfs. I think if you're gonna tie a scarf that way (we call it Boston style), it needs to be a more substantial scarf, and it needs to be tucked in amongst coat lapels. Just sayin'

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