February 27th, 2008

WTF Files: Carly Zucker’s Barnet

We do try to be understanding of a woman’s right to be creatively low-low with their hair. Honest.


But when said ‘creativity’ stretches on for months, nay, years at a time, one begins to lose patience and become rather pissy about the entire situation.

Case in point: Carly Zucker and her continuing, ongoing routine of terrible hair.  We’ve discussed this many times previous – is it a sexy bedhead look she’s after? Is she so low-maintenance she ‘forgets’ to brush it? Is her schedule too jam-packed with sourcing belly-shirts, running 80 miles on the treadmill and organizing her upcoming nuptials to bother with trivial matters such as hair conditioner?  Perhaps.

But for all the ‘she’s a natural gal/anti-WAG/isn’t bothered by looking flash’ Carly crazies who email us, let us point out the jumper, bag and jacket she’s sporting after lunch with fiance Joe Cole a few days ago.  Seems rather WAGalicious to us.  Yet, the hair remains.

Click through for further evidence and discussion. We never thought we would be defeated by a hairstyle, but truly, Kickettes, we just can’t deal.

Here’s Carly at Heathrow rocking a lovely hair doo inspired by crackheads and bird homes. When she spotted the paparazzi, Carly quickly hit the toilets to fix up. 


Can you tell which is the pre hair fix and which is the post fix? We sure as hell can’t.

images: Matrix

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33 Responses to “WTF Files: Carly Zucker’s Barnet”

  1. Sean says:

    Shes definitely the most gorgeous WAG.
    That Joe Cole is a lucky bast.

  2. Elzu Beth says:

    Nice hair style in Image. In spite of your writing with images is great.


  3. Sarah x says:

    Joe Cole Looks Loveellyy :D
    I Love His Hair Like That,
    Carly.. Bless Her,
    She Dont Look Too Bad, Take Off The Body Warmer ANd Some Heels And She Would Look Amazing
    But She Looks Natural <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/smile.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  4. Angie says:

    Not only is the hair, look at her shoes, and ….
    well, the whole thing

  5. nicky xxx says:

    not loving the shoes..xxx

  6. LFCgal says:

    pmsl at the bird nest/crackhead comment

    I need that jacket more than Alex needs fake tan and hooker shoes…I can’t believe I’m lusting after an item in a Carly Zucker outfit!

    I need to lie down and manically stare at my lifesize poster of Iker Cassilas.
    I also need to put the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign up on my door, if ya get my drift <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/tongue_rolleye.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="tongue rolleye" style="border:0;" />

  7. RedGirl says:

    WTF is that?! I’m obsessive with all the hair thing and, honestly, seeing the first pic is killing me!

    How can she not care about the way she looks? And why on earth Joe didn’t tell her to fix it before leaving the house? I’m sure there’s a nice way to say “Maybe you should look for another stylist” or “Give some shape to that bush that’s growing on your head”

  8. trainee wag says:

    know what? i think carly has influence joe.. with the whole hair thing. i mean, he use to have accually quite cute looking cut. But like… now? its all mess up.. seriously :( he realli realli needs a shave, then he would look all cute again

    <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/smile.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="smile" style="border:0;" />

  9. shir says:

    OMG….i stil don’t understand what he found in her she’s so ugly!!!

  10. joeycole<3 says:

    OMG !!
    joe cole is sooo hot
    finally hes growing his hair out
    he luks much sexier when its spikey !!

    carly carly carly
    where did it all go wrong
    she has the gorgous baller
    the money
    the job
    yet she still luks lyk a hobo wi tht hair !!

    least we kno my joe aint shallow
    theres still some hope for me yet
    haha !!

  11. carly says:

    Jesus Christ , that 1st picture at the airport is giving me the creeps!!

    I like her, seriously, but her dress sense is even worse than her hair. Awful outfits there. I like the hair-colour – is that a plus?

  12. Lucy says:

    yeh the hair isn’t great but is it just me or is that lipstick even worse?  in the first pic she looks like a drag queen!

  13. lose that girl says:

    I LOVE Joe and think he looks even better when his hair gets a bit longer like it does now. Love the 60s vibe – it really works for him.  I do prefer darker jeans—Owen Hargreaves seems to always rock the dark wash for his denims and Joe should follow suit. Pale denim is so North American (I live in Canada so I feel justified in this knock against jean preferences for men here).

    Carly…I’m trying to like her but there’s something not quite right. I applaud the less is more ethic, but the hair…what gives? Even with thick, unruly hair…use some conditioner and tie it back in a neat pony for goodness sake. The hair mess pulls her whole look down into the dumpster. I think she should partake in some of Joe’s dosh and have a makeover consultation at Harvey Nicks or Selfridges—ANYWHERE! Her clothing is usually bad too, and for such a naturally pretty gal she could do so much better.

    Carly was featured in a fashion spread in OK last year and she seems pretty with it. I’m trying to like her…REALLY trying—for my Joe’s sake.  smile

  14. MrsXabiAlonso says:

    I’m dissapointed Fourth, I was looking forward to a nice bitchy comment raspberry

    The thing that bother’s me about her barnet is that she seems to put a lot of effort into making it look that bad!
    If her hair is naturally a state then she should spend some of Joe’s millions getting it sorted out every morning.  Will be worth every penny!!

  15. trainee wag says:

    cole is very pretty! yeah, i never had anything against cole.. btu i do have a thing against wanna be lion king carly there… seriously.. she needs to spend more time taking care of her hair.. even normal people have better hair than she does!

  16. Nina says:

    No no no! Girls…! Joe looks cute and Carly is just not as posh as some of the other wags… i really like her! seems to be pretty normal! and i like the two together…

  17. rania says:

    what planet is she from?

    not only is the hair bad, the whole outfit is wrong. wrong, wrong, wrong!

    Joe looks like a Beatle. or a Monkey. pick any 60’s band u like.

  18. Eveline says:

    They both look awful.
    Joe needs to shave, get a decent hair-cut, drop that hideous coat, buy some nice dark jeans and shoes.
    She just needs to FIX THE HAIR! It’s not that hard. Why does anyone as pretty as she is, want to look like she slept in an alley? Or maybe she just wants to look like she and her ‘hot foorballer boyfiend’ just had rough sex. Either way, it’s not very lady like.

  19. trainee wag says:

    omg.. lol. i dont get what cole see’s in her.. i wouldnt want to wake up next to someone everyday that looks like that! i mean.. he can do way better that her.

    plus, she looks like she is trying to become the lions in lion king.. seriously

  20. The Fourth Official says:

    I have exactly the same kind of hair, which is why I keep it short.  Very very thick and wavy.  Unless you take lessons from a professional on how to deal with it, or arrange to have a blow-out every morning, trust me, it is a real pain in the ass.  So, I sympathize wholeheartedly, and will not add to her pain.

  21. Rusty says:

    I like her shoes (I, like, medically cannot wear heels) and I’m glad she’s gained some weight, but that hair scares the crap out of me. I think she’s used so much hairspray that if it actually were 1986, she’d be the one accused for getting rid of the ozone layer.

  22. Portia says:

    i like Carly, but that is a hot ass mess she’s trying to pass off as hair on her head. i know her mama raised her better than that.

  23. DC says:

    i dont know whether i should laugh or cry at/for her.

    i’ll go with the laughing.

  24. lose that girl says:

    I think it’s great if she’s gained some weight. She looked painfully thin last year. She said in that OK interview that she had stopped doing free weights and relied more on yoga thus the trim down. She looked far too thin at John Terry’s wedding. She looks healthier now.

    As for the heels thing…as someone who hates them and only wears them when absolutely necessary (plus I’m 5’8” so I’m not short), I say ‘right on, Carly.‘ I’d rather have healthy feet than the bunion-plagued hooves of Posh. YUCK!

    I think much of Carly’s problems could be sorted with a stylist. It’s not a bad thing to have one. Heck, if I could afford it, I would definitely get hooked up.

    What’s with all the distress of Joe’s stubble and hair? I think he looks totally hot (still have probs with the pale jeans tho’). <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/confused.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="confused" style="border:0;" />

    Thanks Kickette for the Joe and Carly thread. LOVE it! Nice change from the usual suspects.

  25. MrsJamieRedknapp says:

    I was prepared to give her the benefit of the doubt when I looked at the first picture, I first thought, maybe its a really windy day, and her hair has blown backwards.  But seriously, its NEVER that windy! And the airport pics just confirmed it.  She has ZERO dress sense and no mirrors in her house.

    Note to Joe…  buy your fiancee a mirror, and a hairbrush if you want to be able to sell your wedding pics to anyone other than Fright weekly.

  26. Rebecca says:

    Carly, get yourself down to thenearest hairdressers and get then to teach you how to brush you hair. Im sue joe would pay. Theres no excuse to look like that when your husband-to-be earns so much money.
    go and but yourself a new wardrobe and some new beauty products, and would it kill you to wear a pair of heels?

  27. robin says:

    Someone PLEASE buy that woman a freaking BRUSH!!!

  28. c9 says:

    I just don’t know what to say?

    I mean we all comment on how some of these women either dress to horrible, put to much make-up on, has to round of a face, is accompanied by horrible accessories and hair dilemnas….BUT when do we stop and do a check on ourselves. I’m feeling a little shallow because I am picking on others and not looking on myself and my sense of style <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/blank.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="blank stare" style="border:0;" />

    I think for today I’m going to be generous and give Carly a break <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/smirk.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="smirk" style="border:0;" />  I hope she soon changes her ways and at least starts to brush her hair. Instead of just running her fingers through it and placing some god awful accesory on.  <img src="http://www.kickette.com/images/smileys/tongue_wink.gif&quot; width="19" height="19" alt="tongue wink" style="border:0;" />

  29. Danika says:

    May only observation is that Joe looks older with the beard.
    In her hair is a bird nest.
    Her jact looks like a Hermes and I’m so amazed that a wag wears something created by Jean Paul Gaultier.
    Her shoes are good for going on mountain trips, they are such a no no!

  30. QB says:

    did she gain weight??

  31. tammyv says:

    Carly, honey, 1986 called from a mall in New Jesey and seriously wants it hairstyle back…

    There is jsut no reason, for got sake at least invest in a rubbeband and ponytail that mess.

    As for him, dude what’s up with channeling your inner Gallegher brother?? I can’t tell the brother’s apart, but he diffently looks like he is trying to join the family.

    I guess after his family reveled in the glee of The Spurs win he is loking for a new one

  32. brandy says:

    Wow – that’s A LOT of bad hair! That first picture of her is hideous! I totally can’t figure out which “style” (generous use of the term here) is pre/post “fix” (again, generous use of the term!) at the airport. And that’s just wrong!

    I was totally on the bed-head band wagon, as it did look all nice and natural then, but this is truly BAAAAAD a la crackhead (hilarious kickette!).

    When did her face get so big and carby like Alex’s?!

    And what about Joe’s hair?!?!?! I mean, WTF happened there?!

  33. cassie says:

    i like her, i think she’s very casual and down-to-earth, but that being said, her hair is horrible.  i understand about thick, wavy hair, the thing is…she has all the money in the world to fix it and make it look nice.  she doesn’t need to WAG-out on the make-up and the fashion, but having clean-looking, nice hair should be something all women strive for, i don’t care how busy you are.  i have friends who have multiple kids who have a busier life than her AND beautiful hair.

    that being said, looks like from the 1st photo she may have put on some weight in the face, maybe that’s why she’s going for the crazy hair, trying to cover her face up.